Wednesday, 5 November 2008

37 weeks 4 days - birthing dreams, getting glasses this weekend

I had the most realistic dream last night. It almost freaked me out when I woke. I was out for a meal with Jonathan, and he decided he wanted to go and get another course (why he didn't ask the waiter I don't know) but at this time I suddenly felt odd. I put my hand "down there" and felt between my legs, and to my horror, I felt the baby crowning! It was a wonderful feeling, but I was in the middle of the restaurant, with my husband about to leave to try and get more food! I called over to Jonathan who came back, and said "I don't think you should get any more food.." Anyway, the next bit sped past, and I was somewhere (where I don't know) laying down. I had been trying to "hold" Robert in. And then as I was laying down, I stopped trying to hold him in, and straight away, his head popped out with ease, followed immediately by the rest of his body. I grabbed him, and hoisted him up onto my belly. It was so surprising at the quickness and ease of it all!

Another bit of my dream involved me once again giving birth, and to my immense surprise, I gave birth to Robert, and then I gave birth to another two babies. (Which initially I thought were both boys, but then later in the dream one of the boys turned into a girl) I then started phoning up family, saying "He's here, Robert's been born!.... and so have his brother and sister!"

I think the dream about Robert crowning in the restaurant is based on a fear I have that I won't know when I'm in labour - that I'll not notice any contractions and I'll give birth before I know it - and probably in some highly inappropriate location. That is one of my biggest fears at the moment. I don't really feel braxton hicks at all, so how will I know when I'm in labour if these braxton hicks are supposed to be practise contractions??

I've been getting a few pains yesterday which made me a little nervous, but they weren't all over, just achy feelings in specific spots around my uterus, one time it was low down, another time it was on the left hand side, another time I felt an achy pain on my back... But that was it really. Nothing "all over", which I'm assuming the real thing feels like? I also can't remember what period pains feel like, it's been so long since I had them. Which is apparently also what you feel when you're in labour.

Beverley is coming around today to drop off the home birthing kit. Only 3 days til I can have my home birth!

Jonathan and I talked at the weekend a bit about how many children we would like. Both of our families have been families of 2 children. Him and his sister, me and my brother. So Jonathan is very much under the impression that a family has 2 children. Now, me.... I don't know really how many I want - all I know is that I'd want at least 2, so Robert has a brother or sister. But I'm open to the idea of more than 2, and want Jonathan to be as well, depending on how we feel once we have our second child. What I'm a little concerned about is what we would do, if, when that time comes, Jonathan decides he definitely doesn't want more children, and I decide I definitely do.. or vice versa although I think that way round is most likely. I think at the moment it will have to be a "cross that bridge when we come to it" kind of way of thinking. Try not to worry about the what ifs and wherefores if we don't know what we both will think.

Oh! Good news! J and I are going to go and get our eyes tested and get some glasses! Well, J already has had his eyes tested, he did it yesterday lunchtime. But he's got his prescription now, and said we should go over and get my eyes tested and then some glasses. I'm so pleased! My eyes are just terrible these days. At the parentcraft information evening (oh - a waste of time by the way - sigh), there was a sign up. I could tell the letters were big, but it was done in a thin red marker on white, and they were so very hard for me to read, I was maybe 10 meters away if that and I couldn't read what it said. Jonathan who was in a seat next to me but furthur from it whispered "you seriously can't read that?" and I said "well, my eyes ARE very bad... no I can't read it, why would I ask you to read it out to me if I could?"

Anyway I was curious as to see when I stopped wearing glasses, and I looked through Jonathan's old photography page on his website. I was wearing them when I met him in 2001, I was wearing them that Christmas, then at New Years, but by the next set of photographs, I wasn't. So I stopped wearing my glasses in January 2002. Which is almost 7 years ago. Although my eyes have only been bad for a fraction of that time, I guess they just degraded over time. But about time! Can't wait to get some glasses and read better! (And not have people's faces all blurry if they're more than 20 meters away!)

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