Update.

Lots of backache the last couple of days. Today it's been terrible.

I had an awful day on Wednesday. Really really bad. I thought I'd have to go back on the anti-ds, but luckily yesterday and today weren't so bad.

I have filled in the fertility friend chart I started before Robert, but it's mostly from memory and I don't have a BBT thermometer so it's without temps too. So pretty useless lol. But anyway if my cycles are still 28 days I'm ovulating now so exciting stuff.

Robert has learned this last week how to clap. It's so sweet :) He is also beginning to show signs that he understands us. Quite often, we'll say out of the blue "Robert, can you clap?" and he'll clap! Even without us having clapped recently.

His new game as well as clapping is bringing stuff to us, and plonking it on our laps, or in our hands, before snatching it away again!

He also tries to replicate how things are. For example, I hung a ring over my foot while I had one ankle up on the other thigh. Robert then carefully took the ring off my foot, and tried to put it back on my foot again. It's lovely, and sad at the same time, to see him growing up so fast! It's not even been a year since he was born and already he is walking, understanding some things we say, able to play with cause-and-effect toys, and so much more!

well...

Not pregnant.

But I've reached my supposed fertile period if my cycles are the same as they were pre-Robert, so keep your fingers crossed for me please!

ok girls....

I'd really like your opinions on this please!

As you know I had my period the week after I started getting one sided cramps after several days of extremely light spotting. I came off my period after a week, with the last couple of days being fairly light. (But not light enough to get away without using a towel) For the last few days around the same point in the day I've felt "iffy", and yesterday it was coupled with bad diarrhoea.

This morning, on a whim, I decided to take a pregnancy test, even though I've only come off my first postnatal period 3 days ago. And I'm puzzled. I have what looks like the same extremely faint line that I had with Robert. It's so faint that I have to hold it up to the light and even then I'm not 100% sure it's there. But I think there is something there. I've never had evap lines on these tests before, but surely that's not saying anything?

But does anyone know, is it normal to have what appears to be a normal period right at the beginning of their pregnancy? Could the diarrhoea and "iffy"ness be a good sign that it's pregnancy? Any comments at all would be greatly appreciated!

Craaaazy woman alert...

So, I just went and looked up what my due date would be if I got pregnant this cycle. The answer being July 24th, the day before my mum's birthday, 6 days after mine, 5 days before my step-mum's. Boy, my family are going to be pleased with me LOL! And they mock-groaned when I told them Robert's due date LOL!!! (Being due the same time as my SIL was the year before)

But if I do get pregnant this cycle, then it would be entirely possible that I could have a baby on my birthday! Eeeep, I so don't want that! It was bad enough for me as a child only having a week between my birthday and my mum's! But I want the child so much that I will put up with it for the sake of my child!

Aunt Flo

Sooooo... Aunt Flo arrived last night. God, it sure hits home when you've not had a period in almost 2 years!!! I feel so so so BLEUGH, and I hope I get pregnant quickly so I don't need to go through many more periods for a while LOL!

My hormones have been all over the place. Jonathan told me that I've been horrid to live with recently and I know I have as well. Plus the inability to cope with normal 11 month old behaviour. I don't know if this is all due to the impending visit from Aunt Flo, or the fact that I've now been off the anti-ds for about 3 weeks, or a combination of both. I am going to see how things go, and if I still feel bad and unable to cope with what should be simple things I shall go back to the doctor, and see if we can come up with a solution other than go back on the anti-ds. I don't want to be on them forever!

We stayed overnight at Jonathan's parents last night. I am very very glad that I thought to pack sanitary towels at the last minute! We headed off to Bournemouth in the morning to see Jonathan's gran, who is in a home with dementia, we were expecting her to say that she had met Robert before (when she hasn't), but she didn't, and in fact didn't say anything hugely weird all morning, apart from calling Jonathan Robert's grandad (LOL).







He had great fun playing with her zimmer frame!

We then went to the beach for a while, and bought Robert a bucket and spade, which I think Jonathan's dad enjoyed more! But he also saw the sea for the first time! We went for a long walk along the sea and back again, I was exhausted!











He had great fun exploring the beach! (and looking at the pebbles, the sea-weed, the shells, the soggy sand right by the sea, etc!)









We saw Jonathan's uncle as well for the first time since Robert was about 4 or 5 weeks old or so. He seemed a lot more into Robert today than he did back then! (He's obviously not a newborn-person)



You can see Jonathan's uncle in the background here, completely unimpressed with Robert lol! (And he was like that pretty much the whole time!) But he was much more interested in Robert when he saw him yesterday.

On the Friday, we stayed overnight as it was an early start in the morning, so we headed over there in the afternoon. Robert had a fantastic time playing in his grandma and grandpa's garden, it's very big, and there's lots to see, including a stream!

But he loved playing with the rain water in the wheelbarrow...



And playing with the leaves that had fallen off the trees...



And having a ride in the wheelbarrow! (Actually a different one - a dry one lol)





And having a ride in Grandma's gardening trolley!





He just had a lovely time this weekend!

No AF yet...

More spotting over the last few days.. None so far today though. I will wait at least a week before testing, which should give aunt flo a chance to get here ;) I am excited though that things are finally on the move! Very reassuring that my body is getting back to working order! I had a lot of periody type aches yesterday! I am becoming more and more convinced that I did conceive last Friday. I haven't had spotting for so long, and NOW I get some just days after one sided cramps? Which in four days hasn't developed into heavy bleeding? Very sus! If I am right on ovulation date, and that I am pregnant, my due date would be 2nd July 2010. I am getting more and more "odd" feelings down there that feel vaguely familiar! Achy feelings so low down they feel like they're within my pelvis.

Some things I wanted to document here was that Robert has now reached the cute stage of having worked out that things go into other things, and with that he has worked out how to feed other people, and he gets so excited and smiley when someone takes food from his fingers with their mouths!

He is also very clingy, not just necessarily to me, but whenever he spots someone leaving the room, he instantly starts screaming and gets himself into such a state! Even if he is currently involved in something that doesn't involve them!

Anyway cross your fingers for me! I think I will take a test next Wednesday as I will then be 12DPO if I'm right about the ovulation! Or before if I can't wait! LOL!

More wonderings.

Yesterday morning there was only a slight brown discharge and nothing since, which I'm not sure is a good sign or not. I'm still sure that the fact I have seen blood is a good sign. I took a test yesterday, and it came back negative, but it could be that it just is too soon. Although now I do keep thinking everything is a pregnancy symptom! Like the achy limbs I've been getting this morning, the back ache, the feeling sick last night... I do feel like I am deep down, but it's a waiting game now.

Anyway onto other things!

We've spent the weekend with Jonathan's parents, on Saturday we went out to the cinema with a friend while the in-laws babysat. Then yesterday we went over again to take his dad out for a birthday meal. We got some beautiful photos of Robert! It's lovely to see each week the photos we get it shows Robert doing new things and becoming better and better at them!




he has really worked out this toy now, it's lovely to see him playing with things how they're meant to be played with!

I am so lucky to be Robert's mummy. There is really nothing else I would rather be!

Cautiously optimistic

Well, I've been having lots of cramps on and off over the last few days, including one-sided cramps, along with ewcm, so although I don't know for SURE that things are going on, Jonathan and I did the deed yesterday (and might try again tonight just to make sure LOL), but for some reason I do feel cautiously optimistic that maybe, just maybe, we might have created another baby :) Oh I do hope so but only time will tell!

Anyway there's some photos from last weekend I wanted to share with you because at the time they hadn't been uploaded. Robert met his great-grandparents for the first time and although he spent the first 10 minutes or so crying uncontrollably, he did quickly perk up and then spent the rest of the time exploring their small flat, walking out into the hallway and kitchen, playing with nan and grandad, and we took him out into their small garden too :)







I love this last photo of the three of them, my grandad looking at the camera with his usual expression, and nan smiling at Robert as he plays with her scarf :)



:) They loved him so much, so lovely to see them so animated :)

Here's a photo of him exploring their little garden. I don't know what it is about this one but it is just lovely.. I LOVE the way his hair looks and the way he always walks about holding his arms like that and waddling along.. it's so cute!



Then when we were at Mum's there were the photos of Robert with the dogs. Boy does he love animals! He gets so excited and starts walking along urgently towards them making little excited squeals! And it was so lovely when the dogs came and nudged him with their noses hearing him laugh. So so adorable! Here he is with them and having been given their ball (to help make the dogs less reserved towards him)..







Poor dogs were just circling around him waiting for him to throw them the ball but Robert just wanted to play with it himself! Hehe!

A bit later on we did an MSN video conference with my brother, and nephew, during which Jonathan got this photo :)



Anyway that's about it really! Not much more news to post, other than I practised a cake for Robert's party (as some of you know about via facebook lol), and it went down a treat ;) I think I will have to make a doubly-big cake for his actual birthday - oh and I might have to practise it again LOL! Orange sponge with white chocolate icing.. oh-em-gee it was goooooooooooooooood. :)

EDIT:::

OMGOMGOMG I just went to the loo before heading to bed (which I'll carry on doing in a mo), wiped, and BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Just a little bit, red stained cervical mucus, but YAY!!!!! I wiped a few more times to check it was coming from the right place (iykwim!), but yayyyyyy! I will slip a panty-liner on tonight and see what happens!!!!

Hmmm....

Just some ponderings since yesterday's entry.

The last week or so I have been getting ewcm, quite often since I was pregnant, when I was discharging so much I had to wear pantyliners every day... sorry for tmi lol :( Anyway, yeah I've been getting discharge again. I've been getting odd feelings down there, not sure if it's cramps or just wind/tummy aches! Still no period and he's coming up for 11 months old.

The more time that goes by, the more I feel that if Jonathan gets his way and we only have 2 children, that I will be so sad if my next pregnancy is my last! I also think the more time goes on that a longer age gap (3+ years) seems really unnatural! Unless I stop breastfeeding completely I don't think there's any other way to make sure my periods return, and that just isn't an option for me. I so completely love breastfeeding! So it is just a case of hoping that these niggles are pre-ovulation niggles and soon I will be able to conceive again! I hope I can conceive again before January. Ideally I want less than 2 years between babies but not both in the same month! If I conceive this month or next I am looking at a July/August birth. But who knows, I don't even know if it's possible yet! C'mon body get on with ovulating! lol!
Anyway, better get the teething boy ready for either a nap or to go to surestart. tata!

1st birthday preparations!

I can't believe that NEXT MONTH my baby will be ONE! I can't wait! Jonathan and I have started making preparations for it, and it's so exciting! We never bother with birthday parties for us, but I'm so excited to do Robert's :) We have come up with an invitation list. We initially did 3 separate lists, a definites list (close family and friends) followed by a secondary list (some furthur out family, like Robert's great-aunts and uncles, and some of my step family who we are close to), followed by a tertiary list (a few internet friends), but in the end we decided to just go for the definites list. Including Jonathan, Robert and I, there will be 24 people, 4 of which will be children. If we had invited the secondary and tertiary lists too there would have been 50 people had all accepted! (but the percentage of children would have been higher! As the tertiary list had 7 children in it alone out of 3 families!)

We have decided to host his party at Jonathan's parents house, as they have a very large bungalow, with 4 rooms people can go in, including a large lounge, a large kitchen, a dining room and a garden room. We have asked Jonathan's parents and they seem really chuffed :) I was expecting a more reserved "ok" but no, they seem excited about it! Hehe! They also have plenty of parking space. The only possible problem will be people locating it ;) So maps and directions are a must I think, as well as balloons at the end of the drive, and possibly the end of the roads leading up to it! They live in a small village just south of Northampton, and their house is at the top of a long drive off the road which they are part of, if that makes sense!!

Last night I made some invitation cards, the card parts anyhow, with a nice graphic I made on the front, what needs to be done now is the inside, which I'll print on ordinary paper and stick inside the card (It'll look more posh that way, and it'll make sure that the cards don't get mucked up in the printer if I put them the wrong way in or whatever! :) I'm so pleased with them already, the image I made looks great (if I do say so myself! LOL!), and I can't wait to send them out.

I can't wait to get baking a cake for Robert's party, although I will have to do a test run as I'm not too great at cakes I don't think! And then think how to decorate it, and then think about house decorations!

We are going to have it the day before Robert's birthday, on Sunday 22nd November. It's my nephew's birthday on Saturday 28th November so they're having a party for him then, so we're having Robert's the weekend before. We will go over to Jonathan's parents on the Saturday so we can spend the day doing party preparations, and then sleep over, and put it all together in the morning while they're at chapel.

This weekend we went to my parents in Kent, and we also found the time to pop in on my grandparents, as they have never met Robert before, and as they are quite old, it was very high priority as they might not live much longer (my Grandad is 93 this year I think, and my nan is 90 in a couple of weeks). They are both very frail physically, my grandad has cataracts and is very thin and frail, and my nan has muscle wastage. But seeing them with Robert was lovely! My nan was so animated and energetic (!), holding his hands and "dancing" with him. It really was lovely to see them like that. They did their usual trick of trying to force biscuits, cakes and money on us (!). They absolutely loved him :) We got lots of photos of them with him, although my nan insisted on having her headscarf on for photos of the three of them as she thought her hair looked dreadful (lol, I thought it looked great considering she's 90 years old!). I can't wait for Jonathan to sort them out.

We also have some good photos of Robert at Mum's house. She's really doing well at getting it all sorted, the lounge and kitchen look great, and they told us all about their plans for the back garden, which sounds lovely! A big decked area, a pond in one corner of the lawned area with a rockery opposite and lovely flower beds.

Robert was SO funny with the dogs! He absolutely LOVES animals, although the feeling isn't always mutual! The dogs are very warey of him, and would growl whenever he came too close, but luckily Dave had a brainwave and got one of the dogs' balls for Robert to hold, and although he's a bit young to get the concept of throwing it for them it did make them less warey of him! Robert was so funny with them though! At one point he was standing up in the gap between two chairs, and one of the dogs wanted to get past, so they nudged their way past him, and Robert just giggled away as it was like they were tickling his tummy! And another time, he was sitting playing with a ball of wool poking out of a bag, and Lady heard it rustle, and came along, sniffed his hand, and then went away again! Robert found this hilarious too and giggled away. It was so cute! He laughed so much at the dogs yesterday!

The other week, Jonathan spilt half a glass of juice all over his keyboard, so he unplugged it and swapped it for another one. The sticky keyboard he has decided to donate to Robert to play with, as Robert LOVES bashing away on keyboards!




As you can see he was highly excited about getting to play on a keyboard! Lol! Bless my little cheeky chappy! I love him so much!