Tuesday 22 October 2013

Robert in Reception

We are in the last week before half term, and Robert is still coming out of school every day on the black cloud for hurting other children or being too rough generally, invading personal space, not listening to adults. It is slowly destroying my soul that my first born, my gorgeous boy, is acting so horribly at school. We are trying reward systems for him, the first day with little to no success. Today is the second day.

It has got to the point where I am not bothering to make sure I leave by 5 past to get there early, as he is always sitting on the carpet so the teacher can explain to me just how horrible my child has been that day when all the other children have gone. :(

Yesterday I came home and cried all afternoon. I do not know what to do. I am in completely over my head and feel like running away and leaving someone else to it. But I can't, because I am his mother. It is my responsibility as his main carer to see that he becomes a respectable adult, and so far I am failing miserably.

Tomorrow is his first parents evening. And I know exactly how it's going to go. And the thought of that is bringing me close to tears again.

I want to not care, to leave it as a school problem. Let them deal with it. But I can't do that of course, and it's tearing me up from the inside out.

Tuesday 15 October 2013

Almost 5 months old!

Well the last time I posted, Daniel was just 2 months old. I've been SO incredibly slack here, but then no-one seems to have noticed my disappearance anyway, as most of you are probably on Facebook so connected with me there.

Daniel will be 5 months old on Thursday! How time has flown! He is not an easy baby, but then he's not a hard baby either. One thing is for sure, and that is that he likes attention and closeness with those he is familiar with. His big brothers dote on him, and are for the most part, very gentle. But Daniel seems determined not to remain a baby for long, he is already sitting unassisted for a few seconds, rolling from front to back and back to front, pushing up on his hands, and has managed to get on his knees a couple of times. He pushes himself backwards and gets squashed up against sofas, toy boxes etc. He is grabbing quite accurately with his hands, and gets very excited when we sit him on our laps while eating. He has had a suck of apple, and cucumber, and got very cross when he dropped it! We semi- co sleep,he is exclusively breastfed (apart from the minuscule amount of apple and cucumber juice he may have consumed), and his main method of transport is the sling, except in the car of course!



I have even managed to get him on my back, and am slowly becoming more accomplished with back carries, which will be particularly useful as he is a big boy for his age, on the 98th centile for length, and the 75th for weight.

On to the big brothers! Robert has recently started full time in reception year, after almost 4 weeks of part time. He is struggling to settle in to the routine and fit in with the rules of school, and has been moved up their disciplinary ladder more often than not in the time he has been at school. The children start off on the sunshine every morning, if they carry on doing something when they are told not to, they get moved onto the grey cloud, if they do it again, they get moved onto the black cloud and they miss out on golden time. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that it is Robert's personality and not a reflection on my parenting per se. But it is hard, and has made me have good long thinking sessions. I struggle to understand, or enjoy time I spend with Robert. His personality is so full on, so exhausting and unlike mine, that the games he enjoys seems to be time wasting to me. He has so much pent up energy a lot of the time that it gets unleashed at home, running around the living room and crashing into the sofas, playing with cars he will get bored of driving them around properly and then it will devolve into rolling them back and forth along the same area at high speed, inevitably catching someone's hand or foot as he isn't watching what he is doing. I have yet to figure out what it is he actually needs... It's like I'm groping around in the dark when it comes to parenting Robert. But one day we will get there. One thing I am proud of is his progress in literacy skills. He has enjoyed blending words together from early on in nursery (just turned 4) and he is getting better and better. He is learning his keywords well, and now knows "the" which was tricky at first for him as he kept sounding it out and getting confused when the resulting word was "ter-her-eh" he enjoys his "reading" books he comes home with twice weekly. They have no words to read generally apart from the title, and the idea is to tell the story from the pictures.

As for his relationship with his brothers, Robert absolutely adores Daniel. Every morning he comes straight in to our room, climbs up on the bed to see Daniel and snuggle up to him. When I expressed some milk for him a while ago, Robert revelled in his duty of feeding Daniel (who took the bottle like a pro!), and was so tender and loving towards him while he head the bottle for Daniel. On the contrary, his relationship with Christopher is often very fraught, and filled with arguments. Christopher and Robert are like chalk and cheese. Robert is an outdoor child, Christopher is an indoor child. Robert flits from activity to activity, Christopher concentrates for extended periods of time. Robert can be quite boisterous, and rather like a bull in a china shop sometimes, whereas Christopher seems much calmer. They both do the typical small child thing of wanting exactly the same toy that the other has. But they do have their moments of laughter and fun. They enjoy a bit of rough and tumble with each other, Robert will give Christopher pony rides, and it's a joy to see them playing happily WITH each other so I tend to only step in if completely necessary.

Christopher is in his last year of being at home with me all the time (except Tuesdays which he spends with his grandparents). Next September he will be starting Pre-school and the thought makes me really sad! I seem to "get" him much more than I do Robert, he is a joy to look after on his own (well, him with his baby brother), whereas it can get stressful with Robert around! Christopher has started talking LOADS more. The leap in his speech compared to when he had his 2.5 year review is astounding. He has lost his cute "gub"s which was the word he used for yes. And he is speaking in 5+ word sentences now, joining several sentences together to iterate his thoughts. His pronounciation s are still quite babyish which is very cute. :) he can't pronounce "l" very well so it usually ends up as "y", such as "yeyyow", "yuv" "yike". He also says things like "dis quite bicy Mummy" (this is quite spicy mummy). And clever is "kwevah". :) he is very thoughtful and shows concern for other people (which Robert does very rarely), and also, Christopher does NOT like getting told off. But in the way that it upsets him that you're cross with him, he always looks rather distressed, then starts crying, and comes up for a hug, before saying "me vewy sowwy mummy". Robert on the other hand doesn't seem to care when told off, and starts fake crying when part of his discipline involves something being taken away, or him having to do something he dislikes.

I find it so hard to tell what a child's personality is like before the age of 2 ish, even my own children. So it is hard for me to know what Daniel will be like once he is older.

Well Daniel is awake now so I have to go. I hope the next gap won't be so long as the last!