On the 22nd November (Saturday) I had been getting irregular contractions for most of the day. Or rather, they would seem regular, and then stop for hours. And feel mostly periody. We went to bed as normal, and then probably around 4 or 4.30am on the Sunday morning, I woke up feeling more contractions, but this time they felt different. I stayed in bed for a while, getting more and more certain that this was it. At 5am, I finally decided to get up and ring the labour ward to let them know I thought I was in labour. They asked me to describe them and as I hadn't been timing them I didn't know if they were regular or not. I was told it sounded like I was in early labour and just to try and get some more sleep for now.
How I got any more sleep I don't know, but I woke up again around 7.30am, they were still coming frequently, and I finally decided to get up and start timing them using the contraction master on the internet. At first I found it difficult to pinpoint the start and end of each one, but after about half an hour I was more certain, and sure enough they were coming around every 5 minutes (well, between 4 and 7) and lasting for about 50 seconds. After about an hour or so of timing them, I phoned the labour ward back, and told them how far apart they were and how long they were lasting. They again told me it didn't sound like I was too far along but they did agree it sounded like I was in labour, and told me they would get a midwife to call us to see if we wanted her to come along and see how far I was. I went back to bed with the phone beside me, telling Jonathan what was happening, and tried to get a bit more sleep while waiting for the phone call. However around 9am or so the doorbell rang, I went and got my dressing gown on and went to answer it, and it was the midwife who had decided to come along without phoning up first.
After observing me for a while, she thought that the contractions I were having weren't doing anything productive, as I wasn't in any pain with them, although I was feeling them getting progressively more intense, I simply was using my breathing techniques to get through them. She listened in to Robert's heartbeat as I lay down on the sofa, and then did an internal to check my progress, and she said I was 4 cm dilated, so evidently the contractions WERE doing what they were meant to! ;) She said it was okay for me to get in the birth pool straight away as soon as it was inflated, and she said she'd go away and come back later, or at 12 if we didn't call her before.
When the midwife went, Jonathan poured me a bath for me to get in while he was sorting out the birth pool, which I just about managed to squeeze into! I stayed in it for a while until I got too uncomfortable with it being so small. While I was in there the midwife called back, asking if it was okay to have a student as well as the two midwives present. I said it was okay, although the room did end up being rather cramped!
The birth pool was being filled from the upstairs taps, and I sat on the sofas, using my relaxation techniques and listening to the music to help me get through the contractions which were becoming more and more intense and difficult to breathe through. I was managing okay though, and still felt positive about the experience.
I got in the pool once it was filled, and it did feel good to be in there where I didn't feel squashed. I wasn't wearing any clothes simply because it felt more comfortable. The midwives turned up with the student (also called Nicola, which was disconcerting if the midwives talked to her), and I did feel a little self conscious at first what with being naked! But I thought �sod it� and just stayed there, focussing on how I was feeling. Eventually the midwife who'd come over before, Jan, asked to do another internal, which she did in the water with difficulty. She said I was 7cm, and more or less as soon as she'd finished, I felt the strongest urge to start bearing down, which scared me a little because she'd just said I was only 7cm! But she simply said �Good!� when I told her.
This I think was where the problems started. I simply wasn't prepared for how it was going to feel bringing him down the birth canal, and because of this I began to hold back, and not let my body do what it wanted to do. The feeling I am referring to, is of course as you will know if you've given birth vaginally, the feeling that you are delivering your baby through your anus instead of your vagina. I was expecting it to happen when the baby crowned, not all the way through the 2nd part of labour. Anyway, for a while I carried on, and eventually the midwife pulled Jonathan out to tell him that things weren't progressing well, and that she wanted to help things along somehow. Jonathan refused, asking her to wait for a while to see if things would speed up on their own. They didn't however, and I was becoming exhausted from the effort of the contractions and getting no progress.
At some point around now I asked them to get my Mum in from outside. She'd arrived several hours earlier and was sitting out in the car so she wouldn't get in our way. I sent her the text when I was 4cm dilated and she arrived much earlier than we were expecting her to.
It took all my energy to move from my back onto my front leaning on the edge of the pool, as the midwives asked of me to try and get things going. Which they did, and I heard them saying with each contraction then how much better things were going, but it still wasn't good enough. They asked me to drink between each one, and I was struggling to simply lift my head high enough to drink from the straw. But as I was going on and getting further along, I felt more encouraged and somehow managed to get some energy back, enough to keep calling out �It feels like I'm giving birth through my arse!�. I moved back into the previous position, and the midwives kept saying how well I was doing. All I remember was feeling like my contractions were on top of each other, being sooo uncomfortable, and that annoying student kept asking me if she could listen to Robert's heartbeat. In the end I did end up actually pushing rather than breathing Robert out, simply because I felt like breathing him out had no effect at all. After a while (it was probably a few hours), Robert crowned, and I could feel the stretch on my vagina. I hadn't done the perenial massage as much as I should have, because I couldn't reach it easily, and I didn't like to ask Jonathan to do it every day. I tried to hold back when I felt it burning but eventually the midwife said to me �"Okay, Nicola, it needs to happen now, he needs to come out" so in the end despite the pain (that's the only bit I really think of as painful still � the rest was simply extremely uncomfortable), I pushed his head out.
They told me that he had lots of dark hair! I almost didn't want to believe it! When I put my hand down, I was quite shocked with what I felt � it felt almost squidgy and slimy. Which was probably to do with the fact his hair was underwater and that makes it feel softer than it would normally! From then on, it took seven minutes apparently to get his shoulders out. I remember pushing and pushing as hard as I could to get them out and they just wouldn't come! I felt like crying because I really was trying my best and nothing I was doing was getting them out. I even tried pushing without a contraction behind me, which was so difficult and of course didn't work.
Then the midwives told me urgently to get out of the pool. Hearing the urgency in their voices made me scared, even though it was so difficult to move in labour, I stood up, keeping my legs apart because of course Robert's head was between them! I squatted ever so slightly, gave a push, and gravity did what 7 minutes of pushing didn't do, and Robert was born apparently with a splash (although I didn't hear it). Someone fished him out of the water, and I held him, briefly. His head was blue, almost black, it seemed to me. The rest of his body was blueish purple. I held him in shock, before the midwives asked me to give him to them, which I did of course, not really thinking. Still attached to him via the umbilical cord, I struggled out of the pool while they grabbed some towels and started vigorously rubbing him. He was limp and just lay there in their arms. I was just standing there in shock, my legs feeling weak yet I thought I couldn't move because of the cord. They started to pump air into him using the hand held bulb thing, and called out for someone to call an ambulance. The door out to the hallway phone was blocked, so I started screaming out for my Mum who was in the kitchen, to get the phone. Before she could hear me and get it though, the student midwife called on her mobile phone for one. But my mum came in, having finally heard me scream, and she was amazing, she sat me down, got me towels to wrap up in, and got Jonathan to come and sit down next to me (at the time he was sitting on the other side of the living room on the floor, crying and begging Robert to start breathing). She kept telling me that Robert would be fine, that he was in the best hands. As much as I wanted to believe her I just looked on as my son lay there limp, blue, the midwives pumping air into his body and occasionally lifting up an arm and letting it drop. I can't remember when he started breathing on his own, whether it was before or after the paramedics arrived. I can't even remember what the paramedics did, other than one of them every now and then turning to us, and asking �"Is this your first child?"� and when we weakly responded �"yes"�, they said �"congratulations!�"
Robert had by then started breathing on his own, although it was very laboured and he was crying with a little whimper. The midwives then turned their attention to me, saying they had to get the placenta out, so they gave me an injection, and started pressing on my tummy to get it to come out. While they were off trying to get something, I gave a push with a contraction I had, and thought I had delivered the placenta from the large splot that I heard � but unfortunately it was simply a blood clot. They ended up getting it out by pulling on the cord. My mum and one of the midwives helped me into a nightie, dressing gown, and some shoes (high heeled sandles as they were the only thing we could find quickly that my swollen feet would go into!), and they swaddled Robert up into a few towels and put him into the carry cot my mum had brought with her! We made our way out to the ambulance, I was so weak I had to be supported by my mum, plus I was walking in high heels which didn't help!
The ambulance trip seemed to last a lifetime, it was uncomfortable, I felt like I kept sliding off, and I felt too weak to do anything. I was sat there on the seat next to Robert, with Jan opposite me, one of the paramedics sitting next to Robert, and being told by Jan that it was okay to cry. I was just in a state of shock, I simply wasn't able to fully comprehend anything, let alone cry! And I was just so relieved when the ambulance arrived at the hospital, and I got into a wheelchair. My mum had driven Jonathan behind the ambulance because he wasn't in a state to drive. I was taken into a labour room, and Robert was taken into intensive care, but I was just so relieved to be somewhere comfortable. Louise, the second midwife, came in to see if I needed any stitches. She pulled out a bit of membrane which was still hanging out of me, and then poked around to see if I needed stitches and Oh My God. That was more painful than giving birth to Robert's head! I breathed a huge sigh of relief when she stopped! Haha. However then another woman came in to actually do my stitches, and again OWW.. luckily it was only her seeing where they needed to be done that was painful, the local anaesthetic and the actual stitches were fine. It helped that my mum was there to talk to me to keep my mind off things.
After I was done, I had a glass of water then went and had a bath. Jonathan went to see his parents quickly and get some bits while I was in there, and then came and found me. After he helped dry me off I got into a hospital gown, went back into the wheelchair and we went to see Robert. I can't remember much of that, I think I was just glad to get somewhere where I could relax and rest after what had been such a long day. It was gone 11pm by the time we'd started on our way to my room, where they let Jonathan sleep for the night as well.
I'm sure I've missed several things out, but I think I got most of the main points. Apparently the cord was constricted (not around his neck, just the cord itself was blocked somehow) which was why Robert had taken in some of the water, the lack of oxygen from the blocked cord must have made him breathe underwater and what with his head being under for 7 minutes.... it's a miracle he's okay. And we owe the midwives who were at his birth so much for saving his life.
They also got us a few lovely things. Mum knitted me a jumper, and it's soooo nice and cozy warm, although a bit of a challenge to feed Robert when I'm wearing it! They also got us a full dinner service set - as we've been using mishmash bits and bobs from all over for the past 7 years! It's fab, just plain white, circular dishes/plates etc. But they have mugs, glasses, serving bowls and dishes, and cutlery. We only had 3 ceramic food bowls before this Christmas! If we had more people over we had to give someone soup or dessert in a plastic bowl!
