39 weeks 4 days

So I'm nearing the end of my third and most easy going, uneventful pregnancy to date. I remember, during my first pregnancy, during which I was classed as low risk, I felt almost bored a lot of the time. I wanted more antenatal appointments, to be made a fuss of I suppose. After all, it was my first baby, it was all new to me, and exciting, but not as exciting as maybe I thought it would be. I had awful heartburn from very early on in my pregnancy, and at the end my feet were horribly swollen to the point of pain if I so much as sat up normally. Luckily though, I suppose, I had the luxury of being able to keep my feet up on the sofa all day to keep the swelling down.

With my second, well, I had a 9 day old baby by now! From 28 weeks I saw a health professional practically every week. Either my midwife, or a consultant, or a dietician, because of the gestational diabetes I had developed. And it quickly got very irritating.

This time round however, no gestational diabetes, no swelling, much better heartburn, and a normal amount of appointments, which, given two other children to take care of, and fitting things around Robert's nursery sessions, is a blessing.

I am just 3 days away from the big EDD, which incidentally was the gestation that Robert was born at. I have had no signs that things might be about to start, not since I had the runs a few weeks ago. I am however, getting increasingly tired, not just from the ever growing bump, but also the fact that I am sleeping HORRIBLY. It's not just the peeing in the middle of the night... The feeling of needing to pee rarely wakes me. But I do still pee when I wake up in agony where the hip I've been laying on gets numb and puts my pelvis out of whack. My soft V pillow is still in the loft, and may help if I have it down. Ideally I want it down tonight to see if it actually gets me a better night's sleep. I find I stay more comfortable for longer if I lay on my back, which you're not supposed to do in late pregnancy!

I still have lots to get done ready for baby's big arrival. Sheets and newborn hats/bibs/muslins/socks need to be washed. Cot needs to be emptied and raised up to the right level, and got a sheet on it. It would be nice to get the study sorted out too, but I have no idea when that is realistically going to get done now. Emotionally, I am READY for baby to be here. But in terms of things getting done.. Yes baby can wait a little while. I just hope the baby doesn't wait too *much* longer.

Robert's 2 year checkup.

Well, both doctors we've seen with Robert since his birth was in... and by some fluke, we got to see the woman doctor who we can actually understand! Woop! She hadn't seen him since he was 6 months old, and she noticed the "new addition" and said "I hope he had a better entrance than Robert?" or words to that effect lol. She asked if we had any concerns, and we mentioned his pronounciation on words, and mentioned that the other doctor kept thinking his hearing was impared and his speech was abnormally slow, anyway, she was very pleased with Robert, and could tell he had progressed since he was last seen, and was confident he would continue to do so (as are we, I might add), and following observing him with the toys they keep in the room for the children to play with she said he was doing everything she would expect a 2 year old to be doing, and that even though his speech isn't as good as some 2 year olds', he is in the normal range! (Which I know many of you have already told me, but why didn't that other doctor?? Grrr!) And she said what I have thought as well, that with his pronounciation, that will gradually get better with correct modelling. Anyway, she's discharged him, so we don't need to do hearing tests, or speech therapy, or anything, but she said to keep an eye on him and see how he is in a year's time, and if we still have concerns, to speak to the health visitor who can make a referral. But if he does continue to progress as he does it shouldn't be a problem. :)

Robert loves his baby brother so much. He constantly wants to cuddle him, and gets very annoyed with us if we tell him no (for example if he's sleeping and we don't want to disturb him). He loves cuddling Christopher (who he calls "Brooo-ah" - I'm thinking this is his word for brother, either that or Christopher. I can't be sure, I know it sounds more like brother, but then some of the words he uses sound nothing like what they should be if you know what I mean!









Christopher is now 6 weeks old (well, as of tomorrow) and he has been smiling for a few weeks now. They are quite few and far between at the moment, but boy, do they melt my heart when he graces us with one :)



Soooo so cute and precious! He is just so edible and smells divine! And it's strange, but he and Robert (as a newborn) look so alike that I think a bit of me cannot in my mind distinguish between the two of them. Sometimes I look at him and in my head, without realising, call him Robert, and then in a way I sort of double take when I look up and see almost-2-year-old Robert standing there or sitting and playing. Other times I look at him and see the things that make Christopher.. well, Christopher! The shadow of the ridge on his nose which was so pronounced at birth which Robert never had, the fuzzy bit at the front of his head where his hair should be but it's either come away, or was never there in the first place. The shape of the eyes which are so subtley different from Robert's.

I can't believe that it's been 6 weeks since I gave birth. It really has gone in a flash. I am so thrilled at how well I laboured and gave birth this time, and how well breastfeeding has gone. With all the struggles of the early weeks with Robert, the sheer determination that I WOULD breastfeed or die trying being the only thing keeping me going past 2-3 weeks.. the comparison is very stark. The only issues with breastfeeding so far have been the cluster feeds and growth spurts being SO. TIRING. But boy, never once have I resented picking him up and offering him my breast, as I did with Robert in the early weeks. And that difference has made everything so much easier.

Christopher is gaining weight much quicker than Robert did, partly due I think to tandem feeding, which has increased my supply greatly. Christopher gulps away, and something which I never imagined would happen to me (especially since my supply with Robert was simply "adequate"), splutters and coughs and comes off the breast gasping with his eyes wide in alarm as milk continues to gush. He has, also, a few times, cried with the alarm of getting too much milk. He has not yet grasped how to pause and not continue to suck while the milk is letting down! I have not pumped for a while. There are about 11oz of milk in the freezer, but unlike with Robert, I am not desperate to get Christopher onto bottles. I might well give him some, just for the sake of getting him used to bottles incase the need arises. (Like, for example, when Harry Potter 7 part 1 comes out later this month and we leave the boys with the in-laws to go see it!)

Anyway... wanted to mainly update on Robert's 2 year review. He's now on the 98th centile for weight (woahhh!!!??) but only the 75th for height. Strange, because he's not a chunky boy if you know what I mean! But it certainly shows he's got a good appetite lol! Can't believe my big little boy is going to be 2 so soon! He's getting all grown up! Good thing I have another tiny baby to snuggle!

Sicky Robert :( And lessons on patience

I've never been a very patient person, something that scares me about being a parent. Something that on occasion, like when I shouted at my poor boy the other day, makes me scared that I'll do something I'll severely regret. But I have discovered that patience seems to be a learned trait. And I am finding it easier to remain calm when my baby boy is inconsolable.

Getting up in the middle of the night isn't so bad. I don't mind particularly being woken up. What I am finding difficult is Robert's lazy latching. When he latches incorrectly over and over and over again, I get very frustrated because I know he needs to eat, and as his only source of food I feel that I am letting him down if I don't let him feed from my ever-increasing sore nipples. And after a while of him trying to feed and making them so sore, it becomes unbareable to feed him. So he gets agitated and starts screaming because he's hungry, and I lose my tether.

Luckily, his latch has been okay the last day or so. And I have managed to be calm with him, and even when he's been finding it hard to go to sleep, I've managed to not get annoyed with him, and perhaps jig him about too hard, but instead keep him in bed, stroke his face gently and talk to him soothingly until he falls asleep. Several times! Even at about 6am when I was putting him down to sleep after his 4am-5.30am feeding session, I was so patient, I stroked his face, I whispered soothingly to him, and every time he started to wake himself up too much to be soothed to sleep that way I picked him up and gently held him until he started to fall asleep again. Eventually he started rooting again, so I gave him one last feed and that sent him to sleep properly.

Yesterday I was the Mummy I want to always be for him. I didn't get stressed (well, okay I got stressed once, but I simply held him, rocked him, and just told him between tears about my worries and fears and what I wanted to do for him. Of course he didn't understand, that and he was asleep, but it made me feel much better and was a better way for me to release), I didn't shout, didn't jig him slightly too hard out of frustration/desperation and as such I feel much better in myself, and I can see that Robert is calmer too.

However something's wrong with him, I'm not sure what it is, and I took him to the doctor and he didn't seem to know what it was either. He's been throwing up a lot more than usual the past two or three days. It's hard to know how much food he's keeping down, since I don't know how much he's eating. Robert actually threw up at the doctors so I showed him the deposit on the bib (thank goodness I put a bib on him!), and he said "That's not actually very much." So I told him that it WAS a lot for Robert... as I'd usually only get a tiny bit of dribble, and that much sick IS a lot for Robert. He throws up after practically every feed, varying amounts, but quite significant amounts either way. The doctor has prescribed him some rehydrating fluid, and told me if it's still carrying on all weekend to give the surgery a call on Monday. Poor little man, I hope it's nothing from my milk that's making his tummy poorly :(

Anyway I'd better go and get some lunch - I didn't have any yesterday which was naughty. Robert has stayed asleep after his trip to the doctors so he's in his cot now.

I hope everyone's doing okay!