So, it's the last day of 2012. Tomorrow will be the year my third baby is born!
My in-laws and my mum know already what we're having, and my Dad is finding out tomorrow...
The baby is happy and healthy, and kicking around beautifully. Last night I was sure there was a football match going on in my belly, the kicks were so strong and frequent. It was lovely to feel and be part of, and Jonathan felt the kicks for definite that time too, the first time he was certain he felt the kicks.
I am on the search for maternity gear with a vengeance now. I had some maternity tops for Christmas, but I do need some more maternity trousers I can wear, as I only have two pairs of leggings that fit me at the moment. Going out and actually shopping for clothes though is a little problematic these days, but I will get round to it soon hopefully! Most of the maternity clothes I wore with Robert and Christopher have been charity shopped/binned (depending on the quality) due to me losing weight between C's pregnancy and this one.
Anyway, I hope everyone has a fantastic New Years - have a drink for me, this is the first this year I probably won't have one (might see about a small glass of Baileys... One won't hurt surely!!) as I've never been pregnant over Christmas and New Year until now...
Monday 31 December 2012
Tuesday 18 December 2012
20 weeks and 5 days - tomorrow is the day!!
Well, I've posted a new photo in the belly gallery here. I took it yesterday, 4 days late - doh! Never mind.
The scan is TOMORROW!! At 3.45pm GMT. I have decided that if baby is co-operative and we do get to find out, that we will be keeping it a secret - at least til after Christmas!! So if you do want to find out, and can keep it off my FB wall, then feel free to email me or PM me on facebook and I'll tell you individually. The reason being that we are going to make some cakes - a big one for christmas day, to take to the in-laws, and maybe some cupcakes for when we see my mum, with the appropriate colour inside ;) So, we may well lie (gasp) on FB and say we weren't able to find out, or we might say it's a surprise, I don't know ;) Until we spill the beans publicly after Christmas :) But I do appreciate some of you may be eager to find out before then ;)
The last week has sort of crawled by, but when I think that this time last week I was sitting despairing that it was EIGHT WHOLE DAYS away, and now it's tomorrow, it feels like it's flown by! Isn't that strange!! Anyway I know that little baby is fine, at least kicking away. I do hope there are no medical issues of course. But baby has definitely found some strength and discovered it's fun to kick around and so on, because I get such hard little pokes these days!! It's lovely, even if some of them do take me by surprise! I love the baby kicks!
I also bought myself a new outfit today. I went to Tesco in Northampton while the boys were being watched by my mother in law, in search of some maternity leggings. I didn't find any maternity gear, but I picked out some size 16 regular leggings, which were more comfy than my normal size 16 jeans, and might have a little growth room in, and should also be good for post-partum once I've grown out of them in this pregnancy. I also bought a nice long jumper (which will hopefully hide some of the lumps and bumps on my thighs that the leggings highlight!) and some little mini boots as well. ;) I've got a couple of cardis I can wear over the top of some short sleeve tops in the meantime as well, so all I need now are some nice legwarmers to keep me snuggly in the cold weather, which I've asked my mum to knit for me ;)
That's about it news-wise! I hope to be back with good news this time tomorrow :)
The scan is TOMORROW!! At 3.45pm GMT. I have decided that if baby is co-operative and we do get to find out, that we will be keeping it a secret - at least til after Christmas!! So if you do want to find out, and can keep it off my FB wall, then feel free to email me or PM me on facebook and I'll tell you individually. The reason being that we are going to make some cakes - a big one for christmas day, to take to the in-laws, and maybe some cupcakes for when we see my mum, with the appropriate colour inside ;) So, we may well lie (gasp) on FB and say we weren't able to find out, or we might say it's a surprise, I don't know ;) Until we spill the beans publicly after Christmas :) But I do appreciate some of you may be eager to find out before then ;)
The last week has sort of crawled by, but when I think that this time last week I was sitting despairing that it was EIGHT WHOLE DAYS away, and now it's tomorrow, it feels like it's flown by! Isn't that strange!! Anyway I know that little baby is fine, at least kicking away. I do hope there are no medical issues of course. But baby has definitely found some strength and discovered it's fun to kick around and so on, because I get such hard little pokes these days!! It's lovely, even if some of them do take me by surprise! I love the baby kicks!
I also bought myself a new outfit today. I went to Tesco in Northampton while the boys were being watched by my mother in law, in search of some maternity leggings. I didn't find any maternity gear, but I picked out some size 16 regular leggings, which were more comfy than my normal size 16 jeans, and might have a little growth room in, and should also be good for post-partum once I've grown out of them in this pregnancy. I also bought a nice long jumper (which will hopefully hide some of the lumps and bumps on my thighs that the leggings highlight!) and some little mini boots as well. ;) I've got a couple of cardis I can wear over the top of some short sleeve tops in the meantime as well, so all I need now are some nice legwarmers to keep me snuggly in the cold weather, which I've asked my mum to knit for me ;)
That's about it news-wise! I hope to be back with good news this time tomorrow :)
Wednesday 12 December 2012
7 days to wait! 19 weeks 6 days
I forgot how anxious and exciting the wait for scans are. And I only had one 8 weeks ago. Our scan is next Wednesday at 3.45pm. It was at 10, but afternoons are better for us now as Robert is in nursery in the mornings, and it's easier to arrange childcare with the in-laws when we don't have to work around nursery. Unfortunately my hospital do not allow children to sit in on scans. But I'm happy with every other aspect of our hospital! I am looking forward to seeing my new little Squish again, anxious to check that all is ok with him, and excited to find out whether we are having our third little boy or our first little girl!
Anyway I hope the next week goes by quickly. Littlest baby seems happy enough in there, I'm feeling little prod-like kicks now on a fairly regular basis - about once or twice a day now. And when I lay down, I can feel my uterus up to my belly button which is where it should be. I feel my tummy every night when I'm in bed, so it never seems to have moved up a huge amount, and yet I do remember when it was barely above my pelvic bone so it must have, of course!
Hormones are well in play, I have my good days but also my bad days where things aren't tolerated very well! Hopefully though it'll settle down a bit because I've also been ill recently and on the tail end of a 2 week long cold. Fingers crossed that once I'm fully over it, I'll feel much better and ready to take on the world!
Anyway I hope the next week goes by quickly. Littlest baby seems happy enough in there, I'm feeling little prod-like kicks now on a fairly regular basis - about once or twice a day now. And when I lay down, I can feel my uterus up to my belly button which is where it should be. I feel my tummy every night when I'm in bed, so it never seems to have moved up a huge amount, and yet I do remember when it was barely above my pelvic bone so it must have, of course!
Hormones are well in play, I have my good days but also my bad days where things aren't tolerated very well! Hopefully though it'll settle down a bit because I've also been ill recently and on the tail end of a 2 week long cold. Fingers crossed that once I'm fully over it, I'll feel much better and ready to take on the world!
Thursday 6 December 2012
19 weeks - shift in view
I'm 19 weeks today! NINETEEN!! Can't believe it, it doesn't seem that long ago since we were still TTC. It seems crazy to think that had I not miscarried in April I'd be due a baby this month as well.
Belly has grown loads since the last belly picture I took at 15+4. But I'm going to wait til 20 weeks to take another! Less than two weeks now until the anomoly scan. I'm hoping all is ok because I feel a little like I'm not feeling baby as much nor as often as I should be. Hoping I've just got a laid back baby this time!! I know last post (not including the belly gallery) I was hoping for a girl, and that another boy would be second best. Well, a girl would be nice, but for some reason, I'm now REALLY excited by the possibility (probability??!!) that the baby is our third boy :) And not just because of the bed, although that's super cute and funky, but because.. I don't know!! I just am! Really hoping we'll get to find out anyway, and that baby isn't too shy. Can't believe it's less than two weeks now!!
Anyway. On the home front, the kitchen is almost finished and ready to move into! Just a couple more days and it'll be ready to decorate, and get lovely new blinds (thinking wooden venetian ones to match the work units!), and fill up all the cupboards, not in that order though!! Oh how lovely it will be to have a working sink, and a working oven, and be able to use it in the daytime! Oh and a washing machine!! We went up to see my brother at the weekend, and took a load of washing with us, which has been handy as we've been without a washing machine for almost 2 weeks now. Managing just as I caught up fully prior to the kitchen starting, and also been re-using tops and trousers that aren't actually that dirty *blush*
Anyhow, all the work units are up, the work top, tiles, hob and oven are in, but I *think* the oven still needs to be wired in. Today the plumbing will be finished, so sink and washing machine tonight hopefully! And the tiles will be grouted. Then tomorrow will be the silicone edging for the tiles and the sink, cupboard doors, and edging in the doorway on the floor, and a few other loose ends.
Belly has grown loads since the last belly picture I took at 15+4. But I'm going to wait til 20 weeks to take another! Less than two weeks now until the anomoly scan. I'm hoping all is ok because I feel a little like I'm not feeling baby as much nor as often as I should be. Hoping I've just got a laid back baby this time!! I know last post (not including the belly gallery) I was hoping for a girl, and that another boy would be second best. Well, a girl would be nice, but for some reason, I'm now REALLY excited by the possibility (probability??!!) that the baby is our third boy :) And not just because of the bed, although that's super cute and funky, but because.. I don't know!! I just am! Really hoping we'll get to find out anyway, and that baby isn't too shy. Can't believe it's less than two weeks now!!
Anyway. On the home front, the kitchen is almost finished and ready to move into! Just a couple more days and it'll be ready to decorate, and get lovely new blinds (thinking wooden venetian ones to match the work units!), and fill up all the cupboards, not in that order though!! Oh how lovely it will be to have a working sink, and a working oven, and be able to use it in the daytime! Oh and a washing machine!! We went up to see my brother at the weekend, and took a load of washing with us, which has been handy as we've been without a washing machine for almost 2 weeks now. Managing just as I caught up fully prior to the kitchen starting, and also been re-using tops and trousers that aren't actually that dirty *blush*
Anyhow, all the work units are up, the work top, tiles, hob and oven are in, but I *think* the oven still needs to be wired in. Today the plumbing will be finished, so sink and washing machine tonight hopefully! And the tiles will be grouted. Then tomorrow will be the silicone edging for the tiles and the sink, cupboard doors, and edging in the doorway on the floor, and a few other loose ends.
Sunday 2 December 2012
Belly Gallery! (baby number 3)
Here's my long awaited belly gallery for my third little one.
5 weeks: (well, actually 4w 6d after I found out my due date)
10 weeks:
15 weeks (and 4 days):
20 weeks (and 4 days)
5 weeks: (well, actually 4w 6d after I found out my due date)
10 weeks:
15 weeks (and 4 days):
20 weeks (and 4 days)
Wednesday 28 November 2012
18 weeks tomorrow!
Well I'm 17 weeks 6 days now. This pregnancy really is flying by. It seems an age ago since I found out I was pregnant, yet it's going by so quick! I can't believe I'm 18 weeks already (well, tomorrow).
The little blob seems to be growing well. I'm still not feeling MANY kicks, I think because I don't have the time to just lay down, relax, and concentrate on them!! I've had my last midwife appointment until the middle of January now, when I'll be almost 25 weeks. I have just three weeks to wait til my next scan, which while I'm itching for it NOW, I'm sure those three weeks will whizz past just like the previous 14 weeks have (since I found out I was pregnant). And I really REALLY want to know the sex of baby this time round!! Yes, I'm hoping it's a girl. But I'm not holding my breath, and I am thinking it is most likely a boy. But if it is a boy... then I'll get to one day, get this (or get it made) for all three of the boys...
And plus the boys will have another brother to share their fun with and grow up with :)
There is just so much on lately. I am trying to fit in more housework. Which is very much needed. I so badly want a tidy clean home. And I know the best way to do that is to gradually work it into my routine to do more around the house.
In addition there is decorating, and also work has started in our kitchen. We are three days in, out of a maximum of ten days work. The old cupboards, oven, sink, etc are all out. The horrid lino has gone. The new laminate tiles are down (and look lovely!!). The plumbing and electrics have been adapted to accomodate the new position of the sink and the addition of a dishwasher. The new kitchen is all in, in boxes or ready built in the case of the floor cupboards. The floor cupboards are all roughly in position. That is roughly where they are up to at the moment, and tomorrow I am expecting him to make sure all the floor cupboards are fixed in, and to start on cutting the work tops. It is all exciting seeing it all come together. :) And very much looking forward to it all being done and having a brand new shiny kitchen! Once the kitchen is finished, we will have 12 days til the scan. And, it being December, will mean we are focussing on getting Christmas preparations done. And before long it will be the scan, then Christmas, and then comes the next part of the preparations, that is emptying out the old study, and sorting out that room.
I like having projects, seeing things getting done in the house. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing things, and that breaks up the daily monotony. Things certainly are moving forwards, and I'm looking forward to what the future holds. :) Another precious child, fun family times, making our house our HOME finally, making it uniquely ours and painting this blank canvas :) And keeping this house as somewhere pleasant for all of us to be proud of, and enjoy!
Oh! I almost forgot! Most of you will know this as you have me friended on facebook, but for those of you who don't... I am not diabetic this time round :D Over the moon!!
The little blob seems to be growing well. I'm still not feeling MANY kicks, I think because I don't have the time to just lay down, relax, and concentrate on them!! I've had my last midwife appointment until the middle of January now, when I'll be almost 25 weeks. I have just three weeks to wait til my next scan, which while I'm itching for it NOW, I'm sure those three weeks will whizz past just like the previous 14 weeks have (since I found out I was pregnant). And I really REALLY want to know the sex of baby this time round!! Yes, I'm hoping it's a girl. But I'm not holding my breath, and I am thinking it is most likely a boy. But if it is a boy... then I'll get to one day, get this (or get it made) for all three of the boys...
And plus the boys will have another brother to share their fun with and grow up with :)
There is just so much on lately. I am trying to fit in more housework. Which is very much needed. I so badly want a tidy clean home. And I know the best way to do that is to gradually work it into my routine to do more around the house.
In addition there is decorating, and also work has started in our kitchen. We are three days in, out of a maximum of ten days work. The old cupboards, oven, sink, etc are all out. The horrid lino has gone. The new laminate tiles are down (and look lovely!!). The plumbing and electrics have been adapted to accomodate the new position of the sink and the addition of a dishwasher. The new kitchen is all in, in boxes or ready built in the case of the floor cupboards. The floor cupboards are all roughly in position. That is roughly where they are up to at the moment, and tomorrow I am expecting him to make sure all the floor cupboards are fixed in, and to start on cutting the work tops. It is all exciting seeing it all come together. :) And very much looking forward to it all being done and having a brand new shiny kitchen! Once the kitchen is finished, we will have 12 days til the scan. And, it being December, will mean we are focussing on getting Christmas preparations done. And before long it will be the scan, then Christmas, and then comes the next part of the preparations, that is emptying out the old study, and sorting out that room.
I like having projects, seeing things getting done in the house. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing things, and that breaks up the daily monotony. Things certainly are moving forwards, and I'm looking forward to what the future holds. :) Another precious child, fun family times, making our house our HOME finally, making it uniquely ours and painting this blank canvas :) And keeping this house as somewhere pleasant for all of us to be proud of, and enjoy!
Oh! I almost forgot! Most of you will know this as you have me friended on facebook, but for those of you who don't... I am not diabetic this time round :D Over the moon!!
Saturday 17 November 2012
16 weeks 2 days
Well... I feel like I don't have much to say on here anymore. I don't know why. Anyhow, here's some stuff that's been going on.
1. I've been feeling some kicks - very light, and not as often as I did in the 14 week mark. I know there's nothing I can do, but wait for little one to get stronger before I'll feel his kicks more, as I know I'm probably busy when he is kicking.
2. Heartburn is here. Only occasionally so far, and not so bad I need gaviscon. But yep, seems to be a thing of mine in pregnancy, loverly heartburn!
3. Had my glucose tolerance test. Went and had it done Tuesday morning. Going to get the results next Friday, which also is Robert's 4th birthday, but he'll still be in nursery all morning, so that leaves me free to go and see what the news is.
4. I have been taking belly pictures - but got none online yet. I have a 5 week, 10 week and 15 week to go up.
5. I am definitely packing on weight - I just don't know if it's belly weight or just flab :S I fit in my size 12 jeans pre-pregnancy. I am now starting to get uncomfortable in the size 16 jeans I had kicking about. I have practically zero maternity clothes, due to me getting rid of most of them when I lost weight. Tops I'm not so worried about, although some winter ones would be good, but I definitely need a few trousers/skirts (hah, skirts, me??!!).
6. I am definitely able to feel the baby this time - physically through my skin I mean. With my last two pregnancies I was already obese at my booking appointment, this pregnancy I was, with a heavy cardi on, just a smidge into overweight. Sometimes I seem to "lose" the baby, I'm assuming maybe the baby is laying against my back. But at the times when I can lay in bed and see a bump, I can feel a hard lump, find a smooth line for the back, although I can't distinguish the head from the bum! This morning, baby was laying quite high up, on the right. I could feel the back running along the right hand side, crossing over my belly button which I found quite unusual for this gestation!
7. The study is decorated (minus a few finishing touches - a few patches on the ceiling mainly! Carpet is in, and the computers are down, but the upstairs ex-study is still a junk pile, with lots of stuff needing sorting out!
8. Kitchen has been ordered, with work starting on the 26th November. It'll be continuing for 2 working weeks, hopefully with it being functional after 1 working week.
9. Hormones have been raging! I had one HORRIBLE day last week, where I felt unloved, friendless, useless and so on. I've been feeling much better since, so I'm hoping it was simply hormones!
1. I've been feeling some kicks - very light, and not as often as I did in the 14 week mark. I know there's nothing I can do, but wait for little one to get stronger before I'll feel his kicks more, as I know I'm probably busy when he is kicking.
2. Heartburn is here. Only occasionally so far, and not so bad I need gaviscon. But yep, seems to be a thing of mine in pregnancy, loverly heartburn!
3. Had my glucose tolerance test. Went and had it done Tuesday morning. Going to get the results next Friday, which also is Robert's 4th birthday, but he'll still be in nursery all morning, so that leaves me free to go and see what the news is.
4. I have been taking belly pictures - but got none online yet. I have a 5 week, 10 week and 15 week to go up.
5. I am definitely packing on weight - I just don't know if it's belly weight or just flab :S I fit in my size 12 jeans pre-pregnancy. I am now starting to get uncomfortable in the size 16 jeans I had kicking about. I have practically zero maternity clothes, due to me getting rid of most of them when I lost weight. Tops I'm not so worried about, although some winter ones would be good, but I definitely need a few trousers/skirts (hah, skirts, me??!!).
6. I am definitely able to feel the baby this time - physically through my skin I mean. With my last two pregnancies I was already obese at my booking appointment, this pregnancy I was, with a heavy cardi on, just a smidge into overweight. Sometimes I seem to "lose" the baby, I'm assuming maybe the baby is laying against my back. But at the times when I can lay in bed and see a bump, I can feel a hard lump, find a smooth line for the back, although I can't distinguish the head from the bum! This morning, baby was laying quite high up, on the right. I could feel the back running along the right hand side, crossing over my belly button which I found quite unusual for this gestation!
7. The study is decorated (minus a few finishing touches - a few patches on the ceiling mainly! Carpet is in, and the computers are down, but the upstairs ex-study is still a junk pile, with lots of stuff needing sorting out!
8. Kitchen has been ordered, with work starting on the 26th November. It'll be continuing for 2 working weeks, hopefully with it being functional after 1 working week.
9. Hormones have been raging! I had one HORRIBLE day last week, where I felt unloved, friendless, useless and so on. I've been feeling much better since, so I'm hoping it was simply hormones!
Monday 29 October 2012
More thoughts on home birth
Last night, while we drove home with the boys, Jonathan and I had a good discussion in the car about the possibility of gestational diabetes and home birth vs induction. The short story is that Jonathan supports me in wanting a home birth, and will help me "fight" unnecessary induction. I feel very positive and it means the world to have my husband behind me, knowing that I don't fear that he will buckle at the first scaremongering that might happen, that he will question with me, and that he won't lay on even more pressure than I will get from consultants.
I am so lucky to have him :)
On other notes - I seem to have gone off tea. The thought of tea makes me feel a bit bloated, and while I can still drink it, I happily go without now. Instead, I have been enjoying, much to Jonathan's bewilderment, dissolved oxo cubes ;)
My next midwife appointment is on the 7th November. I will be 14 weeks 6 days then, but the booking midwife told me to book that appointment early to organise GTT at 16 weeks.
I am so lucky to have him :)
On other notes - I seem to have gone off tea. The thought of tea makes me feel a bit bloated, and while I can still drink it, I happily go without now. Instead, I have been enjoying, much to Jonathan's bewilderment, dissolved oxo cubes ;)
My next midwife appointment is on the 7th November. I will be 14 weeks 6 days then, but the booking midwife told me to book that appointment early to organise GTT at 16 weeks.
Thursday 25 October 2012
Thoughts about the birth - mind over matter? 13 weeks
Well, today marks 13 weeks pregnant, which, by any pregnancy calendar, marks my transition into the second trimester.
I can't remember what I was reading, I think it might have been this birth story on Mama Birth. Anyway, after I finished reading it, I had what I would describe as an epiphany. One of those moments where things become clearer and you just KNOW what to do.
I have wanted - to some degree - a home birth with this baby. Part of me thinking so I could "do it right". My first (home)birth did not go to plan. My second birth went beautifully, but was an induced hospital birth. I was thinking "I'd love to try it again, to give birth and do it right. To get the birth I wanted with my first baby.". There were many "if"s though. My diagnosis last pregnancy of gestational diabetes. If I get diagnosed again, what is going to happen to these plans of a home birth? Will I want to risk a home birth? Will I accept an early induction again? Would I do anything differently? Even though I have lost weight, I do think that I will be diagnosed again. And mentally preparing myself for what I will do given the diagnosis. I am being tested for gestational diabetes in 3 weeks time, when I will be 16 weeks. I will have 12 additional weeks to make sure I am controlling it well after being diagnosed, than I had last time.
Now, I know this woman didn't have gestational diabetes, the one in the birth story, but it did just make me think, that this IS the right thing. That I trust my body to provide a safe environment for my baby, and that I will make damned well sure I do what I can to make that a reality, meaning I will control this diabetes, I will make damn sure I am as low risk as I possibly can be despite diabetes. I will trust my body to nourish my baby the perfect amount, to continue to grow my baby well, and to birth my baby when s/he is ready to be born. That if I go overdue, and they are getting anxious, I will go in for monitoring. I will seek out support with people who have been through the same situation. I will TRUST myself, and my baby. And I will lean on my caregivers for help should I need it. I will not be scaremongered. I will research my options and ask for information. If I ask them to elaborate on a risk they perceive me to be subject to, and they are vague or try and fob me off with a non-answer, I will question, and question again. I will ask what the risks are with what they PROPOSE (they will of course freely provide me with the risks of what they DON'T want me to do). I will trust my body and my baby to work together perfectly when the time comes of the baby's own choosing. I will do it.
I can't remember what I was reading, I think it might have been this birth story on Mama Birth. Anyway, after I finished reading it, I had what I would describe as an epiphany. One of those moments where things become clearer and you just KNOW what to do.
I have wanted - to some degree - a home birth with this baby. Part of me thinking so I could "do it right". My first (home)birth did not go to plan. My second birth went beautifully, but was an induced hospital birth. I was thinking "I'd love to try it again, to give birth and do it right. To get the birth I wanted with my first baby.". There were many "if"s though. My diagnosis last pregnancy of gestational diabetes. If I get diagnosed again, what is going to happen to these plans of a home birth? Will I want to risk a home birth? Will I accept an early induction again? Would I do anything differently? Even though I have lost weight, I do think that I will be diagnosed again. And mentally preparing myself for what I will do given the diagnosis. I am being tested for gestational diabetes in 3 weeks time, when I will be 16 weeks. I will have 12 additional weeks to make sure I am controlling it well after being diagnosed, than I had last time.
Now, I know this woman didn't have gestational diabetes, the one in the birth story, but it did just make me think, that this IS the right thing. That I trust my body to provide a safe environment for my baby, and that I will make damned well sure I do what I can to make that a reality, meaning I will control this diabetes, I will make damn sure I am as low risk as I possibly can be despite diabetes. I will trust my body to nourish my baby the perfect amount, to continue to grow my baby well, and to birth my baby when s/he is ready to be born. That if I go overdue, and they are getting anxious, I will go in for monitoring. I will seek out support with people who have been through the same situation. I will TRUST myself, and my baby. And I will lean on my caregivers for help should I need it. I will not be scaremongered. I will research my options and ask for information. If I ask them to elaborate on a risk they perceive me to be subject to, and they are vague or try and fob me off with a non-answer, I will question, and question again. I will ask what the risks are with what they PROPOSE (they will of course freely provide me with the risks of what they DON'T want me to do). I will trust my body and my baby to work together perfectly when the time comes of the baby's own choosing. I will do it.
Wednesday 17 October 2012
11 weeks 6 days - Dating Scan!
Well, as you can see, my dates have been put back a bit ;) I was unofficially due on 27th April 2013, now I'm due 2nd May 2013. Dated at 11 weeks 6 days today. The second she put the scanning device on my belly, she said "One baby, and a heartbeat". We saw the baby, but how she could have seen the heartbeat so quickly is amazing! The scan was quite long, she showed us the arms and legs, and she showed us the heart beating as well. Pretty amazing :) It was so clear, and could see the baby bouncing around like crazy, and waving! It was such a relief to see baby moving around, heart beating and everything!
The sonographer said what a photogenic baby we had ;) She tried to go and find an assistant (or trainee, something like that) to come and see as our baby was so co-operative, but couldn't find her, so we just stayed in the room looking at a picture of our baby up on the screen :)
Here are the pics!
Here's a picture of baby's face!! :) So tiny and perfect!
Hope you like them :) The first one, going by nub, looks pretty girly, but the last two look boyish!! And the others don't really show it well. Guess it's going to be a waiting game til 19th December, when we have our second scan :)
The sonographer said what a photogenic baby we had ;) She tried to go and find an assistant (or trainee, something like that) to come and see as our baby was so co-operative, but couldn't find her, so we just stayed in the room looking at a picture of our baby up on the screen :)
Here are the pics!
Here's a picture of baby's face!! :) So tiny and perfect!
Hope you like them :) The first one, going by nub, looks pretty girly, but the last two look boyish!! And the others don't really show it well. Guess it's going to be a waiting game til 19th December, when we have our second scan :)
Monday 15 October 2012
12 weeks
Tomorrow, I will be 12 weeks (ish). Well, it's when I am classing myself as 12 weeks according to my average cycle length. Wow. I just read that back. TWELVE weeks. Right at the end of the first trimester, already! This last week or so has CRAWLED by, it seems like AGES ago I had that small bleed. Like a month or 6 weeks or so. But it was only 2 weeks ago. I am getting my scan, to see my tiniest baby for the first time on Wednesday. I have been counting down the days, and now I'm on to days and hours. So around 1 day and 20 hours time, I will be on my way to the hospital for the scan.
I'm excited, nervous, scared. I've got past the stage where I wonder if there'll even be a baby THERE at all. I think at the third baby you KNOW there'll be a baby there once you've had that double line on the wee stick. Lately though I do not feel pregnant, one iota. I mean, I feel a tiny bit bloated down there, I'm pretty sure I can feel my uterus now, and I've had nothing blood wise apart from that blob a couple of weeks back, but otherwise, just a whole load of CM. Morning sickness has faded. In fact it seemed a lot better all of a sudden after I got a 24 hour sickness bug. I felt ROUGH that day (and delicate the day after), maybe I just am so grateful it was a bug and not a sudden worsening of morning sickness that anything else just doesn't register on the scale anymore ;)
I'm pretty sure this baby is implanted on the left hand side of my uterus. It's where I've been feeling niggles all the way through. I've not felt any on the right so I'm hoping that rules out fraternal twins. Hoping it rules out any sort of twins!! Although if it is, I'll be happy to have healthy babies, even if it would then be probably definitely my last pregnancy!
I think my belly has popped out a bit - although it's ALL my belly, again like the last times. Not just a cute little bump down beneath my belly button. I have taken belly shots at 5 and 10 weeks. Not posted them yet however. Am thinking possibly of taking another one tomorrow, just because it's you know, twelve weeks. Although 15 would show more of a change.
Oh! I almost forgot. Although I've not been *too* excited about this baby as of yet, I did see something in Tesco, a little 101 dalmations onesie. It was too cute and perfectly unisex, so I got it! I am hoping to have lots of skin-to-skin contact when the baby is here though so I'm not sure if he'll actually get to wear it much ;)
Anyway, that's about it. Really not much to report as of late though!!
I'm excited, nervous, scared. I've got past the stage where I wonder if there'll even be a baby THERE at all. I think at the third baby you KNOW there'll be a baby there once you've had that double line on the wee stick. Lately though I do not feel pregnant, one iota. I mean, I feel a tiny bit bloated down there, I'm pretty sure I can feel my uterus now, and I've had nothing blood wise apart from that blob a couple of weeks back, but otherwise, just a whole load of CM. Morning sickness has faded. In fact it seemed a lot better all of a sudden after I got a 24 hour sickness bug. I felt ROUGH that day (and delicate the day after), maybe I just am so grateful it was a bug and not a sudden worsening of morning sickness that anything else just doesn't register on the scale anymore ;)
I'm pretty sure this baby is implanted on the left hand side of my uterus. It's where I've been feeling niggles all the way through. I've not felt any on the right so I'm hoping that rules out fraternal twins. Hoping it rules out any sort of twins!! Although if it is, I'll be happy to have healthy babies, even if it would then be probably definitely my last pregnancy!
I think my belly has popped out a bit - although it's ALL my belly, again like the last times. Not just a cute little bump down beneath my belly button. I have taken belly shots at 5 and 10 weeks. Not posted them yet however. Am thinking possibly of taking another one tomorrow, just because it's you know, twelve weeks. Although 15 would show more of a change.
Oh! I almost forgot. Although I've not been *too* excited about this baby as of yet, I did see something in Tesco, a little 101 dalmations onesie. It was too cute and perfectly unisex, so I got it! I am hoping to have lots of skin-to-skin contact when the baby is here though so I'm not sure if he'll actually get to wear it much ;)
Anyway, that's about it. Really not much to report as of late though!!
Saturday 6 October 2012
Is parenting your oldest always tougher?
I seem to be getting more stressed out with the boys lately. There have been hardly any days (if any!!) over the last week where I didn't over-react or lose my temper with the boys (mostly Robert, it has to be said) over something. Mostly "just" shouting. But a couple of incidents I am not proud of (well, I'm not proud of the shouting - so I'd go as far as to say downright ashamed of myself). It's so hard, this parenting thing. They get older, they push harder. I bend, and bend, and then I break. I am learning - gradually - to become less brittle. But I feel like I am not learning fast enough. I am not keeping ahead of Robert, in the slightest, sometimes. And that makes me feel so horrid - for my poor eldest son, who is bearing the brunt of the worst side of my nature. It feels easier with Christopher. I've been there, done that, I know what to expect. But with Robert, every new thing is something new. I have to devise strategies, and ways to deal with things. I do my best on the fly, but these things are still relatively new. And on a generally stressful day, those new things are less easy to deal with, and then we're back in Bad Mummy Land.
Yesterday, I wanted to go to Tesco, as we were running out (or had run out) of a lot of staples. Robert, being the independant lad he is, was getting his coat on by himself, and doing the zip up, when the zip got caught halfway up. His coat's inside seam behind the zipper is very flexible and thin, and gets caught in the zip very easily, and when this happens, tantrums tend to ensue. So, quick thinking Mummy decides to dash over, and help out straight away to avoid the tantrum. OH DEAR. Wrong move. "I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF!!!!" and even sillier Mummy, decides to persue the "No, I'll do it for you". The mother of all tantrums ensues, and I end up grabbing his head between my hands in order to get him to look at me. I shout. In his face. With builders in the next room. I am overcome with shame and just leg it out of the house with the two boys in tow with barely a backward glance towards the house.
Then, in the car, the questions start. Oh boy, I know it's supposed to be great, they're being inquisitive, they're using their brains and thinking things through, all that stuff. But oh my goodness - NOW??!! And it's always the same sort. "Mummy, what are clams for?" "Mummy, what are cars for?" "Mummy, why is that man riding his bike on the road?" "Mummy, why did you stop the car?" "Mummy, why did you make the car go?" And on. And on. And on. For the entire 15 minute journey, non stop. Sometimes repeating a question if he didn't like the answer. While I was trying to AVOID hitting said man on his bike on the road. (Have I mentioned how much I hate overtaking?? Anything?? Anywhere? Except on dual carriageways of course when it's easy) It's a wonder I didn't have any accidents, no doubt my blood pressure was sky high. I somehow managed to get parked in Tesco unscathed, and just sat there for a few minutes after I'd turned off the engine. Then, finally ready to face walking around tesco for an hour, I opened the door. "Mummy, why did you open the door?"
The next hour was spent with me learning how to use a new system Tesco had in place where you scan your own shopping as you go round, while stopping Robert from pulling the trolley into people/shelves, and actually finding what we needed. Christopher was a little star, and was NO effort whatsoever, sat in his seat. When we finally got home, I made them the quickest dinner possible (aka our infamous "bits and pieces" where I pull out random food items and shove them on a plate, including sandwiches, cheese chunks, tomato, cucumber, cocktail sausages, fruit, crackers, boiled egg, meat slices, maybe a small amount of leftover pasta or the like, that sort of thing), put the shopping away, and then collapsed into a heap.
The boys did a good job at stressing me out again today, with my mum here. Nothing new, particularly. Robert throwing sand all over the cement mixer in the garden. Robert tipping his chair back and forward (loosening the screws gradually) while eating his dinner, Christopher putting some food in his mouth, chewing it to tiny pieces and then spitting it out onto his plate. I had such stern words with them both that Mum and Dave made a hasty exit so as to rule out their presence as a factor of the misbehaving.
I don't know if most or all mums have the same huge difficulty with their eldest than subsequent younger children, but if they do, I now have some sympathy for my brother (and gladness that I am not the oldest), after all the years that I hated the fact that he was older, and got all the privileges, and the later bedtimes and all that stuff. And maybe, my brother, as a father of two, is also realising why, as he put it, I "got it easier". Certainly food for thought.
Yesterday, I wanted to go to Tesco, as we were running out (or had run out) of a lot of staples. Robert, being the independant lad he is, was getting his coat on by himself, and doing the zip up, when the zip got caught halfway up. His coat's inside seam behind the zipper is very flexible and thin, and gets caught in the zip very easily, and when this happens, tantrums tend to ensue. So, quick thinking Mummy decides to dash over, and help out straight away to avoid the tantrum. OH DEAR. Wrong move. "I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF!!!!" and even sillier Mummy, decides to persue the "No, I'll do it for you". The mother of all tantrums ensues, and I end up grabbing his head between my hands in order to get him to look at me. I shout. In his face. With builders in the next room. I am overcome with shame and just leg it out of the house with the two boys in tow with barely a backward glance towards the house.
Then, in the car, the questions start. Oh boy, I know it's supposed to be great, they're being inquisitive, they're using their brains and thinking things through, all that stuff. But oh my goodness - NOW??!! And it's always the same sort. "Mummy, what are clams for?" "Mummy, what are cars for?" "Mummy, why is that man riding his bike on the road?" "Mummy, why did you stop the car?" "Mummy, why did you make the car go?" And on. And on. And on. For the entire 15 minute journey, non stop. Sometimes repeating a question if he didn't like the answer. While I was trying to AVOID hitting said man on his bike on the road. (Have I mentioned how much I hate overtaking?? Anything?? Anywhere? Except on dual carriageways of course when it's easy) It's a wonder I didn't have any accidents, no doubt my blood pressure was sky high. I somehow managed to get parked in Tesco unscathed, and just sat there for a few minutes after I'd turned off the engine. Then, finally ready to face walking around tesco for an hour, I opened the door. "Mummy, why did you open the door?"
The next hour was spent with me learning how to use a new system Tesco had in place where you scan your own shopping as you go round, while stopping Robert from pulling the trolley into people/shelves, and actually finding what we needed. Christopher was a little star, and was NO effort whatsoever, sat in his seat. When we finally got home, I made them the quickest dinner possible (aka our infamous "bits and pieces" where I pull out random food items and shove them on a plate, including sandwiches, cheese chunks, tomato, cucumber, cocktail sausages, fruit, crackers, boiled egg, meat slices, maybe a small amount of leftover pasta or the like, that sort of thing), put the shopping away, and then collapsed into a heap.
The boys did a good job at stressing me out again today, with my mum here. Nothing new, particularly. Robert throwing sand all over the cement mixer in the garden. Robert tipping his chair back and forward (loosening the screws gradually) while eating his dinner, Christopher putting some food in his mouth, chewing it to tiny pieces and then spitting it out onto his plate. I had such stern words with them both that Mum and Dave made a hasty exit so as to rule out their presence as a factor of the misbehaving.
I don't know if most or all mums have the same huge difficulty with their eldest than subsequent younger children, but if they do, I now have some sympathy for my brother (and gladness that I am not the oldest), after all the years that I hated the fact that he was older, and got all the privileges, and the later bedtimes and all that stuff. And maybe, my brother, as a father of two, is also realising why, as he put it, I "got it easier". Certainly food for thought.
Wednesday 3 October 2012
Small bleed, 10 weeks
Yesterday afternoon I went to the toilet, and wiped away a fairly large amount of CM. In that CM was a glob of dark red. This is the first time I've had this sort of bleed at anything greater than 8 weeks. I knicker watched for the rest of the day, and this morning too, and about 20 minutes after the bleed I phoned the foetal health unit for advice and they didn't seem too concerned. They said if it became persistent, I should go to A&E, or I could go anyway if I was really worried. They said it might just be a bleed from the cervix. Thinking about that, as it was in CM, maybe that was the source of the bleed. I've had no more red stuff since, so keeping fingers crossed that it's a one off...
Friday 28 September 2012
Lots of updates
Well there seems to be so much going on at the moment, firstly Robert starting Nursery (pre-school), then Christopher's birthday, the garage conversion, and last but not least the new baby. This entry is likely to be long as I'm covering all four!
Starting with the first, Robert's been at nursery now for a week. He started last Friday, and has done SO well. He's settled in beautifully, and really enjoys going. After he's hung his coat and bag up, we go over to find his name badge, and then he goes off to play. He is right at home and doesn't even stop to say goodbye! When I asked his teacher a question, I then had to go and find him to say goodbye! He's been doing pictures and paintings, has told me he has a friend called Ewan who goes to nursery (somewhat confusing as that's also his cousin's name!). He has trouble remembering everything he's played with but does remember a few bits. Overall, I'm pleased he's settled in so well, and quickly, and I think that makes my decision not to send him to a private nursery beforehand a sound one.
Now my mornings are just with Christopher, it seems a bit odd! We've been keeping ourselves busy, mostly going out and about, to groups or whatnot. Things at the moment are a bit complicated because of the building work going on in our garage, but we work around it.
The builders have made fabulous progress. The garage door has gone, the front has been bricked up with just a hole where the window will go once it arrives. The wall framework was made, then they got the ceiling supported on both sides of the wall (complete with a clear plastic dust sheet so the remaining space in the kitchen was usable), and then the wall knocked through. There is now a supporting beam in the ceiling to hold the house up because the kitchen wall was load-bearing. Yesterday they worked on the floor, putting in wooden struts and filling the space with block insulation, then putting floor boards down. Finally, they put up the dividing wall framework. Today, they finished off the framework, and filled the walls with more block insulation, except for one panel in the adjoining wall to allow movement between the two separate rooms. The next bit of the job is the electricians and plumbers, who will sort out lighting, sockets and the water pipes. There's currently a pipe in the middle of the wall they knocked down, so that'll have to be re-routed. Then once all the electrics and water pipes are sorted, the builders will come back to put the plasterboard up on the walls, and any other jobs they need to carry on with. It still seems hard to visualise just how big the kitchen will be as there's a dustsheet and kitchen cabinets on the floor in there. Plus the table that will go in at some point! The study seems like a great size though, with plenty of room for storage as well as the computers. I'm glad all this is getting done in my early pregnancy, so hopefully it will all be COMPLETELY finished (including new kitchen installed and decorating done) by the time baby is here!
Onto Christopher. He had his second birthday on Tuesday. I can't believe he's two, TWO whole years old. He is my cheeky little ray of sunshine. I adore it when he grins at me with those dimpled cheeks, as if to say "oh yes, Mummy, I'm about to be cheeky, and I KNOW you love it!" He and his big brother are playing together more and more. They are beginning to play wrestle!! With Christopher usually the one who pushes his brother over and clambers on top! On Christopher's birthday, we opened presents first thing in the morning. Jonathan and I had blown up 20 balloons the night before (but one got a hole in the neck while it was being tied, and another went down overnight), so Robert was quite happy to play with the balloons and didn't seem to mind much that all the presents were for Christopher! I'm sure it'll be Christopher we have to console on Robert's birthday! We dropped Robert off at nursery, then the three of us went to Irchester Country Park and let Christopher play in the play area there for a while, before he wanted a drink. The cafe was open so we went and got tea for us, and a fruit shoot for Christopher (it was a special occasion after all - I can't stand those things! The kids usually have water when out and about, or squash if we take their cups). After we picked Robert up from nursery, we then went on to Northampton and went out for lunch with Jonathan's parents at the Harvester. Then back to their house where Christopher had yet more presents, then tea and birthday cake, followed by a trip to the park, during which we all got soaked as it suddenly downpoured! It was a good day though, and Christopher got lots and lots of dinosaur presents, and consequently, he now seems to have a new word "dah-dor" or dinosaur (although I can't be 100% sure, as I point to one, and he will say "RAAAAAR!" rather than saying dah-dor. I remember this stage in communication very frustrating, as they start saying words, but as they're not recognisable, it takes a while before you learn the words as they say them. It sounds very much at first like they're still babbling! But it's promising that he's moving forward slowly.
Finally, the new baby. :) This pregnancy, I don't know if it's because I've done it twice before so it's not as novel, or if it's because I'm just not SURE on dates, but I'm not keeping track on how many weeks and days pregnant I am. I am thinking to myself that my due date is 30th April, but I don't KNOW whether that is an accurate representation of when I conceived. The midwife put me as 27th April due date. I just have NO idea, and am waiting for my scan so I feel like I do have a proper date. And yes, I know this DATE means nothing!! But it means I can finally start to keep a track of my weeks, and know what's going on! By my April 30th estimate, I am 9 weeks 3 days. Which is 9 weeks 6 days on my record.
I received my scan appointment through the post this morning. It's a late morning appointment on October 18th which is a Thursday (and therefore the most awkward day possible, as that's the one day the in-laws can't babysit - so goodness knows what we're going to do! It's also awkward as Robert needs picking up from nursery 10 minutes after the scan appointment starts). I MIGHT have to be attending this scan alone :S Which I'm a little worried about, because I have this feeling that things might not be ok. I'm still getting days of morning sickness (strangely they seem to alternate - one day will be bad, the next day quite bearable, then bad again the next day), so I guess that should reassure me. Still no bleeding, although several days ago (might have even been before my booking appointment) I had a SLIGHT amount of red mixed in with CM (which is still plentiful) and then nothing more. Of course I have no real reason to be worried, everything probably is fine. But the thought of a missed miscarriage keeps popping into my head. Anyway. On the scan date, I should be between 11 weeks 6 days and 12 weeks 5 days. So I should be able to nub spot, assuming that all is ok and baby is still well. Still thinking it's a boy though! I know plenty of people that have had 3+ boys and no girls, but also quite a lot that have had two boys, followed by a girl. I think I'll be joining the 3+ boy group!
Well, that'll do for a very long update entry! x
Starting with the first, Robert's been at nursery now for a week. He started last Friday, and has done SO well. He's settled in beautifully, and really enjoys going. After he's hung his coat and bag up, we go over to find his name badge, and then he goes off to play. He is right at home and doesn't even stop to say goodbye! When I asked his teacher a question, I then had to go and find him to say goodbye! He's been doing pictures and paintings, has told me he has a friend called Ewan who goes to nursery (somewhat confusing as that's also his cousin's name!). He has trouble remembering everything he's played with but does remember a few bits. Overall, I'm pleased he's settled in so well, and quickly, and I think that makes my decision not to send him to a private nursery beforehand a sound one.
Now my mornings are just with Christopher, it seems a bit odd! We've been keeping ourselves busy, mostly going out and about, to groups or whatnot. Things at the moment are a bit complicated because of the building work going on in our garage, but we work around it.
The builders have made fabulous progress. The garage door has gone, the front has been bricked up with just a hole where the window will go once it arrives. The wall framework was made, then they got the ceiling supported on both sides of the wall (complete with a clear plastic dust sheet so the remaining space in the kitchen was usable), and then the wall knocked through. There is now a supporting beam in the ceiling to hold the house up because the kitchen wall was load-bearing. Yesterday they worked on the floor, putting in wooden struts and filling the space with block insulation, then putting floor boards down. Finally, they put up the dividing wall framework. Today, they finished off the framework, and filled the walls with more block insulation, except for one panel in the adjoining wall to allow movement between the two separate rooms. The next bit of the job is the electricians and plumbers, who will sort out lighting, sockets and the water pipes. There's currently a pipe in the middle of the wall they knocked down, so that'll have to be re-routed. Then once all the electrics and water pipes are sorted, the builders will come back to put the plasterboard up on the walls, and any other jobs they need to carry on with. It still seems hard to visualise just how big the kitchen will be as there's a dustsheet and kitchen cabinets on the floor in there. Plus the table that will go in at some point! The study seems like a great size though, with plenty of room for storage as well as the computers. I'm glad all this is getting done in my early pregnancy, so hopefully it will all be COMPLETELY finished (including new kitchen installed and decorating done) by the time baby is here!
Onto Christopher. He had his second birthday on Tuesday. I can't believe he's two, TWO whole years old. He is my cheeky little ray of sunshine. I adore it when he grins at me with those dimpled cheeks, as if to say "oh yes, Mummy, I'm about to be cheeky, and I KNOW you love it!" He and his big brother are playing together more and more. They are beginning to play wrestle!! With Christopher usually the one who pushes his brother over and clambers on top! On Christopher's birthday, we opened presents first thing in the morning. Jonathan and I had blown up 20 balloons the night before (but one got a hole in the neck while it was being tied, and another went down overnight), so Robert was quite happy to play with the balloons and didn't seem to mind much that all the presents were for Christopher! I'm sure it'll be Christopher we have to console on Robert's birthday! We dropped Robert off at nursery, then the three of us went to Irchester Country Park and let Christopher play in the play area there for a while, before he wanted a drink. The cafe was open so we went and got tea for us, and a fruit shoot for Christopher (it was a special occasion after all - I can't stand those things! The kids usually have water when out and about, or squash if we take their cups). After we picked Robert up from nursery, we then went on to Northampton and went out for lunch with Jonathan's parents at the Harvester. Then back to their house where Christopher had yet more presents, then tea and birthday cake, followed by a trip to the park, during which we all got soaked as it suddenly downpoured! It was a good day though, and Christopher got lots and lots of dinosaur presents, and consequently, he now seems to have a new word "dah-dor" or dinosaur (although I can't be 100% sure, as I point to one, and he will say "RAAAAAR!" rather than saying dah-dor. I remember this stage in communication very frustrating, as they start saying words, but as they're not recognisable, it takes a while before you learn the words as they say them. It sounds very much at first like they're still babbling! But it's promising that he's moving forward slowly.
Finally, the new baby. :) This pregnancy, I don't know if it's because I've done it twice before so it's not as novel, or if it's because I'm just not SURE on dates, but I'm not keeping track on how many weeks and days pregnant I am. I am thinking to myself that my due date is 30th April, but I don't KNOW whether that is an accurate representation of when I conceived. The midwife put me as 27th April due date. I just have NO idea, and am waiting for my scan so I feel like I do have a proper date. And yes, I know this DATE means nothing!! But it means I can finally start to keep a track of my weeks, and know what's going on! By my April 30th estimate, I am 9 weeks 3 days. Which is 9 weeks 6 days on my record.
I received my scan appointment through the post this morning. It's a late morning appointment on October 18th which is a Thursday (and therefore the most awkward day possible, as that's the one day the in-laws can't babysit - so goodness knows what we're going to do! It's also awkward as Robert needs picking up from nursery 10 minutes after the scan appointment starts). I MIGHT have to be attending this scan alone :S Which I'm a little worried about, because I have this feeling that things might not be ok. I'm still getting days of morning sickness (strangely they seem to alternate - one day will be bad, the next day quite bearable, then bad again the next day), so I guess that should reassure me. Still no bleeding, although several days ago (might have even been before my booking appointment) I had a SLIGHT amount of red mixed in with CM (which is still plentiful) and then nothing more. Of course I have no real reason to be worried, everything probably is fine. But the thought of a missed miscarriage keeps popping into my head. Anyway. On the scan date, I should be between 11 weeks 6 days and 12 weeks 5 days. So I should be able to nub spot, assuming that all is ok and baby is still well. Still thinking it's a boy though! I know plenty of people that have had 3+ boys and no girls, but also quite a lot that have had two boys, followed by a girl. I think I'll be joining the 3+ boy group!
Well, that'll do for a very long update entry! x
Thursday 20 September 2012
New beginnings
As most of you will know, Robert is starting nursery tomorrow morning. I'm not sure what this is to Americans.. Pre-kindergarten? He's going for the morning sessions of 9.05am til 11.35am. I've been labelling clothes, packing his little rucksack, and mentally preparing him for his first morning away from family.
Mentioning throughout the day about him starting tomorrow, reminding him about the toys and activities and equipment they have there. Telling him he'll see the teachers who came to see him at our house a few weeks ago. When my dad called, he wanted to talk to Robert too, who very quietly answered all the questions his Grandad asked, and promised to remember everything he did at nursery so he could tell Grandad this weekend during his visit.
Later, in the bath, I started talking about it again, and told him what he should expect to happen tomorrow. I made sure to prepare him for the fact that he would be playing there without me, that I would be leaving. In the next sentence I told him that I would come back and pick him up for lunch. After a little while, when this information had sunk in, his bottom lip trembled a little, and fear flashed across his face. "I don't want you to leave, Mummy. I want you to play with me at nursery."
I looked at him with what I hoped was a comforting smile, although on the inside I felt myself weep at his vulnerability. "I know, sweetie. But you will have lots of new friends to make, lots of other boys and girls, and the teachers who will play with you. And I'll be back after a little while to come take you home for lunch." Robert's face seemed a little brighter, and I decided to sweeten the deal.
"Hey," I said, grinning at him. "How about, as a special treat for when you finish your first morning at nursery, you get to choose what to have for lunch tomorrow?"
He looked up at me, grinned and said "I know, I want chocolate buttons... In my sandwich!". My mental self looked aghast at the idea of a chocolate button sandwich, but figured if he didn't like it he could pick the buttons out separately, so smiled and told him that of course he could have a chocolate button sandwich, and while he was playing at nursery, I would go and get some from the shops.
Tonight, I am hoping beyond hope that he is happy tomorrow, that he has fun, and doesn't miss me *too* much. But I'm not going to lie: if he comes out, flings himself into my arms with a big grin on his face, and tells me he missed me, part of me is going to like that. As long as he has fun!
Mentioning throughout the day about him starting tomorrow, reminding him about the toys and activities and equipment they have there. Telling him he'll see the teachers who came to see him at our house a few weeks ago. When my dad called, he wanted to talk to Robert too, who very quietly answered all the questions his Grandad asked, and promised to remember everything he did at nursery so he could tell Grandad this weekend during his visit.
Later, in the bath, I started talking about it again, and told him what he should expect to happen tomorrow. I made sure to prepare him for the fact that he would be playing there without me, that I would be leaving. In the next sentence I told him that I would come back and pick him up for lunch. After a little while, when this information had sunk in, his bottom lip trembled a little, and fear flashed across his face. "I don't want you to leave, Mummy. I want you to play with me at nursery."
I looked at him with what I hoped was a comforting smile, although on the inside I felt myself weep at his vulnerability. "I know, sweetie. But you will have lots of new friends to make, lots of other boys and girls, and the teachers who will play with you. And I'll be back after a little while to come take you home for lunch." Robert's face seemed a little brighter, and I decided to sweeten the deal.
"Hey," I said, grinning at him. "How about, as a special treat for when you finish your first morning at nursery, you get to choose what to have for lunch tomorrow?"
He looked up at me, grinned and said "I know, I want chocolate buttons... In my sandwich!". My mental self looked aghast at the idea of a chocolate button sandwich, but figured if he didn't like it he could pick the buttons out separately, so smiled and told him that of course he could have a chocolate button sandwich, and while he was playing at nursery, I would go and get some from the shops.
Tonight, I am hoping beyond hope that he is happy tomorrow, that he has fun, and doesn't miss me *too* much. But I'm not going to lie: if he comes out, flings himself into my arms with a big grin on his face, and tells me he missed me, part of me is going to like that. As long as he has fun!
Tuesday 18 September 2012
More.. 8 weeks pregnant
Thanks everyone who commented :) I love getting that email to tell me someone's left a comment (only a bit annoyed that it also notifies me that I've replied to someone as well lol).
The morning sickness has ramped up a bit. This is so new for me, I know it IS morning sickness as I've felt queasy or downright nauseous for about a week now, and last night, when I got up for my new nightly wee, I sat on the toilet, and instantly felt like I was going to throw up. So much so I finished my wee, and immediately went and laid on the floor in the hopes that it would make me feel better. I stayed there for about 5 minutes, before the urge to throw up disappeared. This morning I also felt bad, struggled to eat my cereal, but luckily I had a helper on hand, Christopher who started helping himself to my cereal at the same time!!
We arrived back at the in-laws yesterday afternoon from our holiday, around 2.45 or so. We had to go there first, as Jonathan had parked his Yaris over there as well so the builders could make a start on the conversion while we were on holiday. His sister and our niece was there, which was lovely! She's getting so big now! She's 14 months and definitely exhibiting a lovely toddler personality :) (and SO cute with blue blue eyes and curly dark blonde hair!) Felt a bit queasy while we were there, but nothing too bad. The in-laws, that is, mother in law and father in law now know about baby number 3 (I can't remember if I already said or not), as does my mum. But no-one else apart from some people on internet land!
When we got back home we found a skip on the drive in front of the garage, piles of sand and gravel, and bricks. And on the other side, where there was a patch of grass to begin with, is now a lovely new driveway! Unfortunately no drop kerb to get up there yet, but Jonathan parked his Yaris on overnight. Apparently the builders, who have carted away a load of sand and gravel, are coming back to make a start on building the wall in replacement of the garage door today, and also they need to see a structural engineer about supporting the house while they knock down a supporting wall! Eeep! But all exciting stuff, would be lovely to get everything finished by Christmas! I'm not sure when the projected ETC is, but I'm quietly hoping it'll all be complete by Christmas, with just interior decorating for us to do afterwards. I'm quietly wondering if I'll be able to bring up a kitchen re-fit for our newly extended kitchen/diner :)
The morning sickness has ramped up a bit. This is so new for me, I know it IS morning sickness as I've felt queasy or downright nauseous for about a week now, and last night, when I got up for my new nightly wee, I sat on the toilet, and instantly felt like I was going to throw up. So much so I finished my wee, and immediately went and laid on the floor in the hopes that it would make me feel better. I stayed there for about 5 minutes, before the urge to throw up disappeared. This morning I also felt bad, struggled to eat my cereal, but luckily I had a helper on hand, Christopher who started helping himself to my cereal at the same time!!
We arrived back at the in-laws yesterday afternoon from our holiday, around 2.45 or so. We had to go there first, as Jonathan had parked his Yaris over there as well so the builders could make a start on the conversion while we were on holiday. His sister and our niece was there, which was lovely! She's getting so big now! She's 14 months and definitely exhibiting a lovely toddler personality :) (and SO cute with blue blue eyes and curly dark blonde hair!) Felt a bit queasy while we were there, but nothing too bad. The in-laws, that is, mother in law and father in law now know about baby number 3 (I can't remember if I already said or not), as does my mum. But no-one else apart from some people on internet land!
When we got back home we found a skip on the drive in front of the garage, piles of sand and gravel, and bricks. And on the other side, where there was a patch of grass to begin with, is now a lovely new driveway! Unfortunately no drop kerb to get up there yet, but Jonathan parked his Yaris on overnight. Apparently the builders, who have carted away a load of sand and gravel, are coming back to make a start on building the wall in replacement of the garage door today, and also they need to see a structural engineer about supporting the house while they knock down a supporting wall! Eeep! But all exciting stuff, would be lovely to get everything finished by Christmas! I'm not sure when the projected ETC is, but I'm quietly hoping it'll all be complete by Christmas, with just interior decorating for us to do afterwards. I'm quietly wondering if I'll be able to bring up a kitchen re-fit for our newly extended kitchen/diner :)
Saturday 15 September 2012
Arrival of morning sickness
So, I'm around 7 weeks 4 days (give or take a few days) and morning sickness has arrived. The last few days I've felt nauseous at random times throughout the day. Not enough to make me sick.. yet. But enough to make traveling uncomfortable, and sometimes standing or even sitting. This is definitely the worse I've felt in any of my three pregnancies and I hope this is the worse it gets. I know this is still mild comparatively to how some people suffer.
Despite how I'm feeling I've not allowed it to get me down yet especially as we're enjoying our last term time holiday for the foreseeable future! I'm still very much looking forward to the rest of the pregnancy. My booking in appointment is in less than a week, then will be my 12 week scan, then hearing the heartbeat at 16 weeks, then the BIG scan at 20 weeks (hoping it'll be nearer to 20 weeks this time as I'm slimmer - I KNOW they book in heavier women for the second scan at 21 weeks here). And yes, we will be finding out the sex this time. I don't know if we'll be telling though! ;) although, I'll tell you now, I'll be surprised (shocked, disbelieving) if my tiniest baby (currently about the size of a grape!) doesn't have a willy! ;) I completely 100% believe that we have our third boy on the way. He even already has a name, which is growing on me every day, despite its popularity.
Lots of things to look forward to, its just a shame I won't be booking in with my regular midwife, it'll be at 16 weeks I first see her. How lovely though that she is the person I've seen throughout all my pregnancies. :)
Despite how I'm feeling I've not allowed it to get me down yet especially as we're enjoying our last term time holiday for the foreseeable future! I'm still very much looking forward to the rest of the pregnancy. My booking in appointment is in less than a week, then will be my 12 week scan, then hearing the heartbeat at 16 weeks, then the BIG scan at 20 weeks (hoping it'll be nearer to 20 weeks this time as I'm slimmer - I KNOW they book in heavier women for the second scan at 21 weeks here). And yes, we will be finding out the sex this time. I don't know if we'll be telling though! ;) although, I'll tell you now, I'll be surprised (shocked, disbelieving) if my tiniest baby (currently about the size of a grape!) doesn't have a willy! ;) I completely 100% believe that we have our third boy on the way. He even already has a name, which is growing on me every day, despite its popularity.
Lots of things to look forward to, its just a shame I won't be booking in with my regular midwife, it'll be at 16 weeks I first see her. How lovely though that she is the person I've seen throughout all my pregnancies. :)
Friday 7 September 2012
Busy busy week!
Last weekend we put the shed up. I say "we" but my contribution mainly consisted of helping to move the panels into position, or holding panels still, that sort of thing. Jonathan did a GREAT job. Once it was finished, we both painted it in preserve (which, unknown to us, also kills grass). I set to work painting the inside. You know those not-strictly-necessary things you think are a good idea at first, but then shortly after you start, you wonder why you bothered? That was one of those things. But since I started, I had to finish! Luckily, once I HAD finished, I was pleased that I had done it!
Once that was done, two coats on all the interior walls, I painted the floor and ceiling. Just one coat on each was enough. Then over the next few days, I painted the outside of the shed, with the door and window frame the same colour as the interior. Also, I started clearing out the garage, making a list of things to give away, things to sell, things to keep. I ordered some shelving units to go in the shed, and constructed those when they arrived. Emptied a lot more of the things in the garage.
Today, two of Robert's nursery teachers came over for a home visit. I was positively ashamed and disgusted by the state of the house, so all day yesterday and this morning I spent tidying and cleaning. By the time they came, the kitchen was almost immaculate, and the living room was pretty good too!
The nursery teachers were lovely, the first thing they commented on was the fish I'd made with the boys a couple of months ago, and put on the garage door. With this as a prompt, Robert then went and grabbed the dinosaur we'd made from cardboard tubes, an old mushroom pot and scrunched up tinfoil. He tried to show them just about every one of his toys, and started rabbiting away to them the whole time! They were very impressed with his speech and vocabulary, to the point they couldn't believe he was a relatively late talker! I'm really looking forward to him starting, I know he'll love it.
On Saturday, we are probably seeing the inlaws to chat about what's going to happen with the garage conversion, as the builder wanted to start on Monday... The same day we are going on holiday! We are also thinking of dressing the boys in these on Saturday. I'm a bit nervous about this pregnancy announcement. Because my parents only had two kids (well, my dad adopted his step-daughter making a third for him), and so did my inlaws. Still, I think I've hinted enough to everyone that I wasn't done at 2... So hopefully I won't get any negative comments.
I knew even before Christopher was born I'd want a third child, so this baby is very much wanted, and I hope no-one rains on my parade.
Once that was done, two coats on all the interior walls, I painted the floor and ceiling. Just one coat on each was enough. Then over the next few days, I painted the outside of the shed, with the door and window frame the same colour as the interior. Also, I started clearing out the garage, making a list of things to give away, things to sell, things to keep. I ordered some shelving units to go in the shed, and constructed those when they arrived. Emptied a lot more of the things in the garage.Today, two of Robert's nursery teachers came over for a home visit. I was positively ashamed and disgusted by the state of the house, so all day yesterday and this morning I spent tidying and cleaning. By the time they came, the kitchen was almost immaculate, and the living room was pretty good too!
The nursery teachers were lovely, the first thing they commented on was the fish I'd made with the boys a couple of months ago, and put on the garage door. With this as a prompt, Robert then went and grabbed the dinosaur we'd made from cardboard tubes, an old mushroom pot and scrunched up tinfoil. He tried to show them just about every one of his toys, and started rabbiting away to them the whole time! They were very impressed with his speech and vocabulary, to the point they couldn't believe he was a relatively late talker! I'm really looking forward to him starting, I know he'll love it.
I knew even before Christopher was born I'd want a third child, so this baby is very much wanted, and I hope no-one rains on my parade.
Wednesday 5 September 2012
something funny Robert said to me today.
I have told Robert that I have a baby in my tummy. Primarily because he kicked it once, and I didn't want it to be a repeat performance. But also because I was excited to see what his reaction would be! It's lovely having a child who shows some understanding of the matter. Most of the things Robert has said about the baby have been things like "will the baby play with me?" And I've responded with things like "yes I'm sure the baby will, when he comes out". Another was "when the baby comes out, he will talk like me!" Very cute!
This morning, Robert was laying next to me in bed when he suddenly looked concerned and said to me "mummy, when the baby comes out, how will he get out? (he looked up and down me at this point) You don't have a hole in you ANYWHERE!" I gave him a little cuddle, and told him that its ok, the baby won't be coming out for a LONG time, but when he does, he'll be coming through a hole between mummy's legs. Thankfully, that seemed to satisfy for an answer. :)
I would like to have a home birth this time, so it would be good to prepare Robert gently for what will happen, incase he happens to be awake at the time.
I just found the question this morning funny, he was looking at me as though he expected there to be a hole in my ARM, or leg, or in the side of my belly. Lol. :) Christopher should have a bit more understanding than Robert did as well, as he'll be almost 9 months older than Robert was when his baby brother was born. Can't wait to see what the baby will look like! To see if I get any clues from the scans! :)
This morning, Robert was laying next to me in bed when he suddenly looked concerned and said to me "mummy, when the baby comes out, how will he get out? (he looked up and down me at this point) You don't have a hole in you ANYWHERE!" I gave him a little cuddle, and told him that its ok, the baby won't be coming out for a LONG time, but when he does, he'll be coming through a hole between mummy's legs. Thankfully, that seemed to satisfy for an answer. :)
I would like to have a home birth this time, so it would be good to prepare Robert gently for what will happen, incase he happens to be awake at the time.
I just found the question this morning funny, he was looking at me as though he expected there to be a hole in my ARM, or leg, or in the side of my belly. Lol. :) Christopher should have a bit more understanding than Robert did as well, as he'll be almost 9 months older than Robert was when his baby brother was born. Can't wait to see what the baby will look like! To see if I get any clues from the scans! :)
Monday 3 September 2012
At least 5 weeks
I'm at least 5 weeks pregnant now. I really have NO idea what my due date "should" be, so I guess I'm waiting for the scan to know for sure. I'm guessing it's between April 27th and May 3rd. Either way, I'm feeling great at the moment. No sickness, no tender boobs, (well maybe slightly so but nothing that bad, even with two nurslings still, who primarily nurse first thing in the morning only) no nothing really. No spotting.
I have a list of jobs a mile long this week. Here's what's coming up.
We have Robert's nursery home visit this week. As such I want the downstairs to look SOMEWHAT reasonable! (job number 1)
We are going away to Devon for a week starting 10th September. So we have to pack! (job number 2)
The builder doing our garage conversion is wanting to start work on... 10th September. My FIL (who introduced us to the builder) says he'll come round so that shouldn't be a problem - the beginning jobs will be outside work anyway. What it does mean though, is that we need to try and get our garage CLEAR by the time we go away. Which'll be fun. We have 2 wheely bins, a single bed and mattress, a large coffee table, a large travel system buggy, step ladders, a toy pram, easle, high chair, trampoline (toddler version), water table, computers, bikes, tools, birth-pool-in-a-box, gazebo, some spair fold up chairs, and goodness knows what else in there. Oh and a load of rat poo. (job number 3, 4, 5, 6 and so on) Oh and before we put stuff in the shed, I want the ceiling and floor to be painted - yes, why did I start that job??!!
Signing off now, will be back at some point if I have time!
I have a list of jobs a mile long this week. Here's what's coming up.
We have Robert's nursery home visit this week. As such I want the downstairs to look SOMEWHAT reasonable! (job number 1)
We are going away to Devon for a week starting 10th September. So we have to pack! (job number 2)
The builder doing our garage conversion is wanting to start work on... 10th September. My FIL (who introduced us to the builder) says he'll come round so that shouldn't be a problem - the beginning jobs will be outside work anyway. What it does mean though, is that we need to try and get our garage CLEAR by the time we go away. Which'll be fun. We have 2 wheely bins, a single bed and mattress, a large coffee table, a large travel system buggy, step ladders, a toy pram, easle, high chair, trampoline (toddler version), water table, computers, bikes, tools, birth-pool-in-a-box, gazebo, some spair fold up chairs, and goodness knows what else in there. Oh and a load of rat poo. (job number 3, 4, 5, 6 and so on) Oh and before we put stuff in the shed, I want the ceiling and floor to be painted - yes, why did I start that job??!!
Signing off now, will be back at some point if I have time!
Thursday 30 August 2012
Toddler communication
It's so difficult to know just how much your toddler understands when their verbal communication skills are limited. Christopher still (at 23 months) has very few words. Mama, dada, star, gah (meaning yes, here, again, come with me) being the main ones. And a sort of moan with head shake for "no". He can understand a lot, as evidenced by his ability to follow instructions like "if you go and get the step from the bathroom and bring it here, you can climb up onto the bed". It's when you get to situations where he needs to do something he doesn't like that it gets harder. How much slack do you cut him? Robert and I made some scones while he was asleep today. While I was cooking the boys dinner, Christopher saw them on the cooling racks, and wanted one. So I told him he could have one if he ate all his pasta. Robert ate all his pasta, Christopher was refusing to eat his. I repeated that he could have a cake if he ate his pasta first, and he started eating it. Meanwhile Robert finished his pasta so I got him a scone. I was surprised that Christopher didn't throw a tantrum over Robert eating the scone, but pleasantly so. But if he had, would I have felt bad about not giving him one? I can't wait for his verbal communication to catch up with his understanding. It feels long overdue, and it's getting frustrating for both of us!
Wednesday 29 August 2012
Wooohooo :)
Thank you so much for the congrats in the last post! I'm so excited by this pregnancy! I wondered if I would get a sudden attack of the cold feet but so far - not! Yesterday I booked my appointment to book in with the midwife. Which happens to be on the same day that Robert starts nursery. I'll be a little under 9 weeks by then. I'm really not confident on my dates at all. As far as I'm concerned there is a 6 day window, which is quite large really! It's still my same midwife who works in the community in my town, but she's away on holiday for that week so my booking in will be with someone else.
I took my last pregnancy test today... and got a 100% undeniable BFP. My last one from the First Response was faint but there - on the 25th.
The one from 4 days ago:
And the one from today:
Booking the midwife appointment has made it real to me now, I think I will get a scan around mid October. Which will hopefully give me some proper dates.
Some thoughts through my head already: I'd like to give home birth another go. I don't know how much of a challenge that will be due to my gestational diabetes with Christopher. Will I get re-tested - probably - if I am diagnosed again that will make getting a home birth more difficult. I will have to think about my options, whether I can refuse the test, but keep an eye on my own blood sugar levels. If my refusal to get a glucose test done will make the health service want to refuse me a home birth or anything like that. Whether my last birth will go in my favour - that I only monitored myself during labour and levels were fine, and that had I gone to natural term with C, he would likely not have been as big as R, so birthing size wise shouldn't have been a problem. Well, I've got a long time to think about all these things!
I took my last pregnancy test today... and got a 100% undeniable BFP. My last one from the First Response was faint but there - on the 25th.
The one from 4 days ago:
And the one from today:
Booking the midwife appointment has made it real to me now, I think I will get a scan around mid October. Which will hopefully give me some proper dates.
Some thoughts through my head already: I'd like to give home birth another go. I don't know how much of a challenge that will be due to my gestational diabetes with Christopher. Will I get re-tested - probably - if I am diagnosed again that will make getting a home birth more difficult. I will have to think about my options, whether I can refuse the test, but keep an eye on my own blood sugar levels. If my refusal to get a glucose test done will make the health service want to refuse me a home birth or anything like that. Whether my last birth will go in my favour - that I only monitored myself during labour and levels were fine, and that had I gone to natural term with C, he would likely not have been as big as R, so birthing size wise shouldn't have been a problem. Well, I've got a long time to think about all these things!
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Update
Well.... a few things to update....
1. NEW BLOG DESIGN!! I decided an autumn-y design was in order, so I made a new template using one of the scrapbooking kits from my Creative Team duties :) Thanks to Feli for the gorgeous kit of course!
2. We have our shed arriving tomorrow. In bits, of course. Somehow the two of us are going to have to try and assemble it. I'm guessing this'll have to happen after the boys bedtime. To have the men assemble it for us would have been an extra £150. So thinking it's gonna be a lot of work....
3. The funeral went well. Luckily the service was short - the boys *just* managed to sit quietly and nicely the whole time. With sweetie bribes.
4. I'm finding a hard time thinking of stuff to fill this out before getting to...
5. I'M PREGNANT!!! I've kept it in for THREE days (from my first certain test). How, I don't know! I *think* I'm about 5 weeks at the moment. But I could be as much as 5+2 or as little as 4+3. So EDD around the end of April/beginning of May.
That's all I can think of! Thanks for all your comments on the last entry, I loved reading them!
1. NEW BLOG DESIGN!! I decided an autumn-y design was in order, so I made a new template using one of the scrapbooking kits from my Creative Team duties :) Thanks to Feli for the gorgeous kit of course!
2. We have our shed arriving tomorrow. In bits, of course. Somehow the two of us are going to have to try and assemble it. I'm guessing this'll have to happen after the boys bedtime. To have the men assemble it for us would have been an extra £150. So thinking it's gonna be a lot of work....
3. The funeral went well. Luckily the service was short - the boys *just* managed to sit quietly and nicely the whole time. With sweetie bribes.
4. I'm finding a hard time thinking of stuff to fill this out before getting to...
5. I'M PREGNANT!!! I've kept it in for THREE days (from my first certain test). How, I don't know! I *think* I'm about 5 weeks at the moment. But I could be as much as 5+2 or as little as 4+3. So EDD around the end of April/beginning of May.
That's all I can think of! Thanks for all your comments on the last entry, I loved reading them!
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Rare post
I find myself rarely posting now, I'm not sure why. I am wondering if I post here for me to read or others. If it's the latter, I feel a bit dejected because I don't get many comments. If it's the former, I should really post more. But it's almost like I a) don't have time b) don't know what to write.
Here goes for an update anyway.
1. Robert starts nursery (pre-K?) next month. In fact he will be starting exactly one month from today. His home visit is on the 6th. He is so ready to have more structured activities set for him.
2. We are having a second holiday this year. We're going away for a week inbetween Robert's home visit and when he starts nursery. We're going to Devon (which isn't far from Cornwall where we went before) and staying in a log cabin for the week.
3. It is Christopher's SECOND birthday next month!! I can't believe it! He's discovered the delights of muffling sounds by sticking his fingers in his ears, and always giggles when he does this. :) He loves dinosaurs, and any sort of animal really, but I will be making him a dinosaur cake for his birthday! When Robert was his age, he was already a big brother! I can't quite imagine Christopher as a big brother yet, although hopefully he will soon be one.
4. We're in the final countdown for this month's 2WW. Tests are on order!
5. I'm getting more and more confident with driving all the time. Still have the occasional "whoops" like taking a bend too fast, etc, but on the whole it's getting better.
6. Robert is going to his first funeral this Friday. This will be Christopher's 3rd. (He went to two last year as he was still tiny enough to be no problem, and we left Robert with his grandparents for the day). Jonathan's maternal grandmother died last week, after several years in a care home, with dementia. Towards the end she didn't even recognise her own daughter anymore (my mother-in-law) which was obviously very upsetting :(
7. We went to see my family last weekend, and the boys saw their last living great-grandparent, my mum's mum. She really loved seeing them, and although she's in the stages of paranoid dementia, she still remembered (after prompting) who I was, and remembered Jonathan's name by herself, and even remembered details of our last visit to her at Christmas, which was good. She's finally in a good care home, so that's a load off my mum's mind.
8. We've got the concrete base for the shed built, we now have to order a shed, built and paint that, and then empty the garage so that work can be done converting it.
That's about it for now, maybe I'll get my blogging mojo back soon, feel free to leave a comment to inspire me! ;)
Here goes for an update anyway.
1. Robert starts nursery (pre-K?) next month. In fact he will be starting exactly one month from today. His home visit is on the 6th. He is so ready to have more structured activities set for him.
2. We are having a second holiday this year. We're going away for a week inbetween Robert's home visit and when he starts nursery. We're going to Devon (which isn't far from Cornwall where we went before) and staying in a log cabin for the week.
3. It is Christopher's SECOND birthday next month!! I can't believe it! He's discovered the delights of muffling sounds by sticking his fingers in his ears, and always giggles when he does this. :) He loves dinosaurs, and any sort of animal really, but I will be making him a dinosaur cake for his birthday! When Robert was his age, he was already a big brother! I can't quite imagine Christopher as a big brother yet, although hopefully he will soon be one.
4. We're in the final countdown for this month's 2WW. Tests are on order!
5. I'm getting more and more confident with driving all the time. Still have the occasional "whoops" like taking a bend too fast, etc, but on the whole it's getting better.
6. Robert is going to his first funeral this Friday. This will be Christopher's 3rd. (He went to two last year as he was still tiny enough to be no problem, and we left Robert with his grandparents for the day). Jonathan's maternal grandmother died last week, after several years in a care home, with dementia. Towards the end she didn't even recognise her own daughter anymore (my mother-in-law) which was obviously very upsetting :(
7. We went to see my family last weekend, and the boys saw their last living great-grandparent, my mum's mum. She really loved seeing them, and although she's in the stages of paranoid dementia, she still remembered (after prompting) who I was, and remembered Jonathan's name by herself, and even remembered details of our last visit to her at Christmas, which was good. She's finally in a good care home, so that's a load off my mum's mind.
8. We've got the concrete base for the shed built, we now have to order a shed, built and paint that, and then empty the garage so that work can be done converting it.
That's about it for now, maybe I'll get my blogging mojo back soon, feel free to leave a comment to inspire me! ;)
Thursday 2 August 2012
Goals
I wish I had a "before" shot with stuff piled under, but I don't (booo) instead though, here from beginning to end, are pictures of our under stairs area. I'm so happy with them, it just makes the area look so much nicer!!
Getting the cupboards done and painted (although I think I would like to paint inside too at some point - me being Mrs Perfectionist and all) has helped me realise that I NEED goals for the house. They really are helping keep me sane. I need to be working towards something that I will benefit from, and the whole family too.
Now that's done, we are properly focussing on getting the garage converted. We have put in planning application, and now we just have to wait on that. We should receive it by no later than mid September. So right now, our goal is to clear the corner of the garden to put a shed up there, so we can put the stuff that's currently in the garage, in the shed. I have been working on cutting down bushes, and emptying the compost heap so far. This Saturday the in-laws are coming round to help finish with the bushes and dig them up, and possibly start on laying the concrete foundation for the shed. I am hoping to finish emptying the compost heap by Saturday. It's hard work, and my arms are aching every day, but I feel good :) Then once the garage has actually been converted, we will have to decorate it, perhaps buy some additional cupboards for the extended kitchen. I am very much looking forward to it all :)
Here is the garden as of yesterday. I've cleared a bit more compost since then. I probably have between 3/4 and 2/3 left to go.
Getting the cupboards done and painted (although I think I would like to paint inside too at some point - me being Mrs Perfectionist and all) has helped me realise that I NEED goals for the house. They really are helping keep me sane. I need to be working towards something that I will benefit from, and the whole family too.
Now that's done, we are properly focussing on getting the garage converted. We have put in planning application, and now we just have to wait on that. We should receive it by no later than mid September. So right now, our goal is to clear the corner of the garden to put a shed up there, so we can put the stuff that's currently in the garage, in the shed. I have been working on cutting down bushes, and emptying the compost heap so far. This Saturday the in-laws are coming round to help finish with the bushes and dig them up, and possibly start on laying the concrete foundation for the shed. I am hoping to finish emptying the compost heap by Saturday. It's hard work, and my arms are aching every day, but I feel good :) Then once the garage has actually been converted, we will have to decorate it, perhaps buy some additional cupboards for the extended kitchen. I am very much looking forward to it all :)
Here is the garden as of yesterday. I've cleared a bit more compost since then. I probably have between 3/4 and 2/3 left to go.
Tuesday 24 July 2012
Still struggling with the (ex)friendship.
I've had a good few tears recently about my friendship that has fizzled out. A good few months ago now, I deleted all her messages and her number, and figured that if she wanted the friendship to continue, I'd end up with her number again. But I don't. It's hard, because I classed her as my best friend. We'd had an emotional, tear jerking unity after our argument back in early 2011. I figured this was the real deal. But I guess not. Was I too needy? That's the main thought going through my head. The truth is that I DO need her more than she needs me. She has a group of friends, I have hardly any to speak of. And did I push her away? Who knows if that's why. I thought she felt the same as I did, and now I know she didn't, and it hurts. Oh boy does it hurt. And it really doesn't help that she lives just a few houses away.
This morning, while my boys were at their grandparents, I was sitting, with the windows open, and I hear her kids playing in the garden. And before long I felt sick with grief. Missing her friendship, our texts, our chats while the kids played together. Our silliness, which I hadn't had with anyone for a long time. I miss it all, except I know that it doesn't exist now, I can't just magically get it back. And supposing just for a second that I could... would I want to? Knowing that this woman who has twice before let me down, hurt me, could do it a third time.
I guess this is why, despite missing her terribly, I deleted her number and messages, so I couldn't text her any more. Why I didn't pop round with a card to congratulate her on her wedding. A wedding I hoped I would be a bridesmaid for. By stopping myself from speaking to her (unless she spoke to me first) I am protecting myself from getting hurt again.
But it's hard to forget. Hard to move on. I think that is the hardest thing for me, making friendships. I just hope I can carry on, eventually I might make a few new friends, which is something I really need right now.
This morning, while my boys were at their grandparents, I was sitting, with the windows open, and I hear her kids playing in the garden. And before long I felt sick with grief. Missing her friendship, our texts, our chats while the kids played together. Our silliness, which I hadn't had with anyone for a long time. I miss it all, except I know that it doesn't exist now, I can't just magically get it back. And supposing just for a second that I could... would I want to? Knowing that this woman who has twice before let me down, hurt me, could do it a third time.
I guess this is why, despite missing her terribly, I deleted her number and messages, so I couldn't text her any more. Why I didn't pop round with a card to congratulate her on her wedding. A wedding I hoped I would be a bridesmaid for. By stopping myself from speaking to her (unless she spoke to me first) I am protecting myself from getting hurt again.
But it's hard to forget. Hard to move on. I think that is the hardest thing for me, making friendships. I just hope I can carry on, eventually I might make a few new friends, which is something I really need right now.
Saturday 21 July 2012
And again
Not pregnant. I think the holiday (and garage project) has given J some of his mojo back, because, seeing my disappointment, he has told me that he won't rest until there's a bun in my oven.
What a vallant man, stepping up to such an admirable job *snigger*
What a vallant man, stepping up to such an admirable job *snigger*
Thursday 19 July 2012
Birthday
So.... I am now one year older than I was this time last year. Entering the last year of my twenties. I had a fabulous day yesterday. I really enjoyed myself! J spoilt me, and the four of us went out in the morning to a farm. The farm itself wasn't brilliant but the play areas were good and the boys had a ball - despite the massive school party that we had to share it with ;) Then went to the in-laws, who babysat the boys, and J and I went out to the cinema. As the cinema finished sooner than we thought, we headed to B&Q to get some supplies for finishing off the cupboard, and then to PC world to get my new iPad a protective case (the old one has a very annoying fault on the screen, probably from being repeatedly dropped on the floor by little hands - maybe we can ebay it off to get some money back, maybe it'll be able to be fixed). Then went out for a meal. We tend to eat out at restaurants with the boys fairly often, and it was pleasant to not be spending the entire meal picking up toys, inticing food into mouths, and not having to worry about the volume coming from our table!
I had my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) this morning. What with the holiday, I'm feeling a lot better generally, and I've realised that I do really need to keep goals an active and prominent feature in my life. I just feel better if I am working towards something. The cupboard for our stairs really helped me see that. I still have to stain that, and put handles on. And we are also working towards getting our garage converted. We have submitted planning applications (it's not necessary for most of the country to submit applications for a garage conversion but it is for our street!), and now hopefully soon we'll have that come through and we can start work. But before that can get started, we need to get a shed up in the garden, which means laying a concrete base, and we need to empty out the garage of things we don't need anymore, which means getting things sold. I'm hoping that the focus on the future will really help, not only to keep my mind occupied, but also it's all little steps towards the big picture - getting our home the way we want it to be. Which is a BIG job so it should take a while!! ;)
On possible new baby news. Yesterday afternoon I had a small amount of spotting, slight pinkness when I wiped. Since then I've had nothing, or at least very little. At least I know my period, if it is coming, should be arriving in the next day or so.
I had my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) this morning. What with the holiday, I'm feeling a lot better generally, and I've realised that I do really need to keep goals an active and prominent feature in my life. I just feel better if I am working towards something. The cupboard for our stairs really helped me see that. I still have to stain that, and put handles on. And we are also working towards getting our garage converted. We have submitted planning applications (it's not necessary for most of the country to submit applications for a garage conversion but it is for our street!), and now hopefully soon we'll have that come through and we can start work. But before that can get started, we need to get a shed up in the garden, which means laying a concrete base, and we need to empty out the garage of things we don't need anymore, which means getting things sold. I'm hoping that the focus on the future will really help, not only to keep my mind occupied, but also it's all little steps towards the big picture - getting our home the way we want it to be. Which is a BIG job so it should take a while!! ;)
On possible new baby news. Yesterday afternoon I had a small amount of spotting, slight pinkness when I wiped. Since then I've had nothing, or at least very little. At least I know my period, if it is coming, should be arriving in the next day or so.
Monday 16 July 2012
Willful 3 year olds
Sometimes it's hard to appreciate it when I feel like I am constantly telling him off, asking him to stop kicking, pushing, or hitting Christopher. But I need to tell myself that Robert really IS a good boy. He is, but it is often so hard to see it. This morning he came up to me and asked me for one of Daddy's sweets. I told him no, but if he was still hungry he could go downstairs and get himself some fruit. And off he went, and got himself and Christopher an apple!
Robert still finds it difficult to know any time in advance when he needs a wee. I'll see him clutching himself, and if I ask him "Do you need a wee?", 90% of the time I'll get a "no Mummy." But if I say "Would you go to the toilet please?" 90% of the time he will go with no fuss. That's another good boy moment. I really need to start looking out for all the things he does that makes me happy. I know it makes ME happy when people notice things I do that are good.
Other news today is that we now have an understairs cupboard!!!! I'm so thrilled! It still needs a tiny bit of work - mostly cosmetic.
All that's left to do of the cupboards now is to put some beading on to make the edge of the doors look more seamless, stain and varnish the doors, and put handles on!
Robert still finds it difficult to know any time in advance when he needs a wee. I'll see him clutching himself, and if I ask him "Do you need a wee?", 90% of the time I'll get a "no Mummy." But if I say "Would you go to the toilet please?" 90% of the time he will go with no fuss. That's another good boy moment. I really need to start looking out for all the things he does that makes me happy. I know it makes ME happy when people notice things I do that are good.
Other news today is that we now have an understairs cupboard!!!! I'm so thrilled! It still needs a tiny bit of work - mostly cosmetic.
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| This was on Friday evening, with the framework for the tall cupboard, and part of the door framework. |
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| Shelves in main section, and partition wall going up. Dave (my mum's partner) was amazing and did this so quickly! Especially considering he had dodgy knees. What a star! |
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| This technically was the last photo but it shows the insides of the cupboards and the doors. |
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| How the cupboard looks from the outside. There is a strip or two missing in this photo - it is completely filled in and flat now. |
Saturday 14 July 2012
symptom ramblings, ~10dpo
Just to say... I don't think I am pregnant... I'm not sure if it's even a good idea if I am or not... but I wanted to record these "symptoms" for future reference.
I've been tired a LOT lately. Like... getting a full night's sleep, waking up with heavy eyes, and needing a nap during the day several days over the last week (which has been BLISS when I get it!).
Frequent weeing - perhaps. Not sure though, I might just be drinking more than usual. I don't think I am though hense recording it.
Tonight: so far only occurance, nausea. Occured in the evening during the boys bath, after a dinner everyone else ate and is feeling fine after. Thought of eating more has made me feel a little queasy.
I'm due on around my birthday, or in the week after.
I've been tired a LOT lately. Like... getting a full night's sleep, waking up with heavy eyes, and needing a nap during the day several days over the last week (which has been BLISS when I get it!).
Frequent weeing - perhaps. Not sure though, I might just be drinking more than usual. I don't think I am though hense recording it.
Tonight: so far only occurance, nausea. Occured in the evening during the boys bath, after a dinner everyone else ate and is feeling fine after. Thought of eating more has made me feel a little queasy.
I'm due on around my birthday, or in the week after.
Friday 6 July 2012
Feeling a little sad tonight
I don't know why, but I got thinking about my could-have-been baby, who would have been due around Christmas had I not lost him/her. I can't believe how much it has affected me - even only knowing for 1 day before my period came. I am thankful that the baby was taken as early as they were, as a baby who was not meant to be, and not several weeks/months after getting used to a pending new arrival. I feel sadness, but it doesn't consume me. I can only imagine the longer they have been part of your life, the more it consumes when you lose them.
I do hope that some day I will have another baby to grow within me, to nurture and love. Right now though it's not on the cards. Although having said that we have had "accidents", and who knows. I am tired of the "I wonder"s and the "what if"s and the waiting and underwear watching, especially as we are not trying to conceive right now. My heart yearns each month, and I wonder, and wait, and watch, and then along comes Aunt Flo, signalling, perhaps a good thing, I don't know, that I am not pregnant, that the wondering, the waiting and the watching will commense again soon. Even if I don't WANT to, because it's driving me crazy, making me sad, and in a small way, relieved, but mostly that relief is because I know I am the only one who wants this baby right now.
It is my birthday soon. And I have no idea what I want. Well, I do, but I probably won't get it, and even if I do.... it won't be the best present for everyone.
I do hope that some day I will have another baby to grow within me, to nurture and love. Right now though it's not on the cards. Although having said that we have had "accidents", and who knows. I am tired of the "I wonder"s and the "what if"s and the waiting and underwear watching, especially as we are not trying to conceive right now. My heart yearns each month, and I wonder, and wait, and watch, and then along comes Aunt Flo, signalling, perhaps a good thing, I don't know, that I am not pregnant, that the wondering, the waiting and the watching will commense again soon. Even if I don't WANT to, because it's driving me crazy, making me sad, and in a small way, relieved, but mostly that relief is because I know I am the only one who wants this baby right now.
It is my birthday soon. And I have no idea what I want. Well, I do, but I probably won't get it, and even if I do.... it won't be the best present for everyone.
Tuesday 3 July 2012
This is a quick post to say... We're back from our week in Cornwall.
The weather was disappointing generally, but we made do, and made the
best of the little sunshine we had. The boys loved the beach, the
wildlife centre we went to, the farm, the cottage, basically everywhere
we went! We took a picnic lunch with us every day, and had our dinner
in the same restaurant every day (a little pub by the sea edge - lovely
view, great food, and quiet, so the boys didn't disturb many people).
Here are some photos from the holiday...
This was the last full day - we went home the next day. The boys were so good in the car for both journeys!
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| Our holiday cottage |
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| Splashing in the puddles at Crackington Haven beach |
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| Exploring the beach and looking out to sea |
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| A family photo in Boscastle taken by a friendly cafe worker who was passing by. :) |
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| At Widemouth Bay beach |
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| Collecting stones :) |
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| Fishing out more stones from the river |
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| Splash splash! |
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| Copying his big brother :) |
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| Does this wheel move?? |
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| A walk along the coastal path on a rare sunny afternoon. Sea in the background! :) |
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| Knackered out :) |
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| Ice creams!! |
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| More beach fun, yippee! |
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| Trip to Tintagel. One windswept and tired mummy from carrying Christopher up the path to the ruins!! |
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| This was taken after coming back down from the very top of the ruins. It was very blustery and Christopher didn't like it at all. So we stopped for cuddles and milk in Tintagel ruins! Note the sunburn from the day before - oops! You don't expect the sun to be that hot when it's so cloudy! |
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| Having fun outside the cottages |
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| Cutie pie! :) |
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| Lots of running around on the fields by the cottage. :) |
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| A trip to the beach again on a sunny but blustery day (hense my jumper!!) Daddy built a castle and moat, and built a channel from a passing stream to fill the moat. Which quickly overflowed so a leaving channel had to be built ;) |
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| The boys enjoyed running round and round in the moat. The water was lovely and warm but the wind was biting. |
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| A little trip to the slide near the cottages, Christopher enjoyed just being out and running along the grass. |
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| Cheeky boy! :) |
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| Rather over-exposed pic of Robert at the beach. He loved just running around the beach, splashing in the puddles. |
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| Found some shells stuck on a rock, he managed to pluck one off! |
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| At Tamar Otter and Wildlife Centre. They had lots of peacocks, geese, ducks, as well as owls, wallabies, deer, and of course several pens of otters. |
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| Some quails (I think?). Christopher kept quacking at them :) |
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| One of the deer in the woodland walk |
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| The deer are very tame! |
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| Stroking an owl during a demonstration |
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| Looking at the peacock |
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| Christopher getting a kiss from a baby deer |
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| Boat ride at Trethorne Leisure Farm |
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| Then Christopher had a go! |
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| Petting session |
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| Robert wanted a chick - and was handed a grey one. At which point he started crying because he wanted a yellow one. He got his yellow one soon enough, and sighed, saying "I love this chick! It's SO cute!" |
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