Thank you for your comments on the last entry. It's the only thing I can do right now to take each day as it comes. I was beginning to feel a bit sicky last night, Robert had been down sleeping a couple of hours and all I wanted to do was lay down with J on the bed, and have him hold me and let me cry if I needed to, and just be there for me, and he was, which made me feel so much better.
We decided to go to sleep around then, and it's just as well or we wouldn't have got a lot of sleep. He slept from around 7pm til 2am, we went to bed around 9.30pm or so, so we did get a few hours sleep before he woke. He didn't go back down until 4am, and then awoke again at 7am or so. My breasts were PAINFULLY engorged at 2am, both of them, so I made sure to feed him from both sides before he fell asleep. Oh to have a breast pump!!! Apparently Nicky my sister-in-law has one, since she never managed to feed Ewan enough on her milk alone and he's now a year old and on solids she doesn't need it anymore.
I am SO proud and pleased with myself that I am able to exclusively breastfeed. Especially given the separation Robert and I faced at the start, and them wanting to supplement with formula while he was in intensive care. It's strange how the one thing I was least confident about is the one thing that has gone exactly how I wanted it to go.
This morning we have Robert's MRI. I hope it goes okay, but to be honest, it's just a formality for me, because no matter the outcome, we will love him all the same, we will do nothing more or nothing less for him.
He is such a joy to us both. I am so happy he's here with us, and okay, and then when I see things like this, as I'm holding my sleepy contented baby, my heart just swells...
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