Wow, it's Christmas Eve! And that means that Robert is now 1 month and 1 day old. It seems more like 2 or 3 months though, so much has happened and we've been so busy with him! He's still very much newborn, despite his size! Pretty much only sleeping, eating and crying. Although his awake moments are getting longer, and we think he's beginning to imitate expressions, and also he's beginning to coo every now and then as well! It was so odd because the only noises he made before were cries, or hungry snuffly piggy sounds! The snuffly piggy sounds he makes still has us in fits of laughter, they're so cute, and funny! Combined with his "Woody" impression (Woody Woodpecker - the way he bangs his head against our chests repeatedly with wide open mouth), it's just the cutest thing ever. :)
I have occasionally been letting him self latch, although sometimes it's harder than other times and more hassle than it's worth.
Soon we're going to have to put him in 0-3 month clothes, some of his newborn ones are getting a little short in the leg/arms. He's not podgy despite his birthweight, he's just BIG! I still cannot believe he was so big at birth. I know he's probably gotten bigger since birth but I do find myself looking at him (in particular his head) and thinking "How on EARTH???!!!", and thinking I'm glad it's over with! I can't remember the last time now that I cried while thinking about the birth, or what happened after. Or when thinking "what if". I am so wrapped up in looking after this little boy now and I think I must have come to terms with his arrival, which I'm very pleased about. He's doing so well now that I think I am in peace about it all.
I am a little nervous though about the prospect of getting pregnant again. Right now it's the last thing on my mind and I think if I was to get pregnant before we actively thought of trying for a second I'd find it very hard to cope. I don't know what sort of age gap we'd leave for our children. I don't even know how many children we'll end up having! It's one of those things I don't really want to think about right now, and hey, there's no rush anyway. When I first gave birth to Robert (or in the days following) whenever the thought crossed my mind, I shuddered with the thought of having to go through something like that again. And thought "if I ever have another, I'll ask for a c-section". Over the next week or so, I thought "Hmm, maybe not a c-section, but I'll probably go into hospital next time." And now, I'm just thinking "I'll see what happens and how I feel". I would LIKE to give him a brother or sister at some point in the future. When that will be I don't know. How I'll give birth to him/her I don't know. Whether I'll even have a choice for the next one I don't know, due to the complications I had in Robert's birth. But I think given what happened to Robert, I wouldn't mind how a second child would come into the world, as long as they were okay, and I got to hold them and bond with them straight away.
Anyway, tomorrow is the celebration of the birth of a child, although not many people celebrate that specifically (to be honest, I do not either), but for me, tomorrow will be celebrating the birth of a special baby boy, and the fact that he's still doing great a month on. I love you, Robert x
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