Last night I decided to go through all the clothes we have for Robert, take them out of their packaging and sort them all ready. After I'd finished with the newborn things we'd bought him yesterday, I went through a pack of 0-3 month sleepsuits we had left out (not packed in his hospital bag) and I can't believe how HUGE they are. Poor little thing, he'll be swamped in them when he's born! (Unless he's a 10lb-er like his daddy was) As I was taking out and looking at these tiny little bodysuits and sleepsuits, and hats and socks and mitts, I just melted and all the scared feelings I have been feeling about how close it is just went away. I held up teeny tiny sleepsuits against my tummy, marvelling at how something that big could be in there. I still can hardly believe that this thing I feel prodding and pummeling and squirming around will be so big when he is born. I guess part of it is so hard to believe because I'm overweight, and a large amount of my expanding tummy is actually hidden inside me, whereas on a slimmer expectant mum it would be all out front, a huuuuuge tummy where you can easily imagine there's a newborn sized baby in there.
I am so excited and happy to think that Robert will soon be with us. Yesterday he has been so wriggly and pokey it's been lovely. And he's the same so far this morning. I am loving his movements, small yet definite and strong. Sometimes I think to myself that I won't miss pregnancy, that it's something I will go through again to have a brother or sister for Robert, because although my pregnancy has been uncomplicated, it's had its fair share of niggles and annoyances. Although maybe by the time I get pregnant with a little brother or sister for Robert, I will have lost some weight and I won't have the extra pressure of being overweight. But I am so happy that I have managed to experience this, that it is something I am able to do, that both me and my husband are fertile! And even if I won't miss the heartburn, swelling, aches, pelvic pain, etc.. I will so miss the squirmy kicks. I'm sitting here now, feeling his hands and arms brush around inside me and I just ache for him to be in my arms, to have his little fingers wrapped around one of mine. But if my intuition is correct, I still have another 2 weeks before that will happen!
Pregnancy is definitely beginning to get harder. I may try and wear the support tights most days, they did a fabulous job with controlling the swelling on Saturday. Yesterday I ended up with bad swelling again, and Jonathan came in and gave my feet a massage without me even asking him! It felt so good and lovely. :) Sleeping is getting harder again. I don't know if all the walking on Saturday brought on mild pelvic pain again, but between a slight twinge when I try and turn, and get up from sitting/laying, sleeping is getting hard again. That and the feeling that my belly is getting bigger by the day, and the feeling that Robert is becoming more engaged, I just feel so huge and ungainly. Walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night, if it was recorded, could be a highly paid clip on "You've Been Framed" if I didn't sleep in the buff! Haha.
Right, I will leave off here I think. Thanks for reading! xxx
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