Friday 17 October 2008

34 weeks 6 days - feeling a bit better, still swollen though

Feeling a bit better than yesterday, although the swelling continues. They are back down to normal again this morning, but I'm sure by the time I get to mid afternoon I'll have ogre feet again. I got woken up by a phonecall today, I lay there wondering if Jonathan was going to pick it up, but realised that he'd already gone to work and that I'd have to answer it. It was a withheld number. The woman who was on the phone checked I was who she thought I was, and then said "Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?" At which point I thought "darn, I guess I didn't make my voice sound awake enough!" Then she launched right into saying something, and I was thinking who on earth was this? I interrupted her to ask who this was, and she said "Oh, sorry, it's the surgery, your husband called us." I didn't know he had called her, it turned out that he'd phoned to ask who was going to come and do the antenatal at our house on the 29th, as her phone message had said she was on holiday until 3rd November. The lady from the surgery told me that she'd phoned up the community midwives office, who'd told her that Beverley had only booked off ONE week, and would be back at work around 23rd/24th October.. Hmmm... So it will apparently be Beverley coming on the 29th.

Robert is squirming around gently as I write this, which is nice. It's amazing how totally UNpregnant I feel when he is completely still. I feel smaller, I get no heartburn. I sometimes wonder where he's gone when he's completely still. Makes me a little nervous truth be told. My brain tells me that he is of course still there, but I can't help but wonder if he somehow slipped out without me noticing! Haha!

I am beginning to notice that a lot of times I get heartburn are when he's actually wriggling around, poking his feet around near my stomach I suppose.

I also feel a little silly sometimes... I'm nearly EIGHT months pregnant, and I still cannot fathom that I have inside me an actual baby. A tiny human being. He's over 5lbs now, and there have been full term babies born at this weight. And yet... I cannot see him in my mind's eye as a baby. Does this sound strange? I don't know what exactly I see him AS, maybe it's the concept of him being a baby who so soon will be as big as newborn babies are. Like I can't imagine how such a big baby can fit in there.

I do find myself daydreaming over what he looks like. Yesterday I saw him for the first time as a tiny newborn, freshly out of the womb and still covered in vernix. He's always had dark hair in my dreams and daydreams. And he's always been perfect, so perfect and handsome. I wonder what colour his eyes will turn out to be. Both Jonathan and I have greeny/brown eyes. Mine are more of a mix, a hazel colour, whereas Jonathan's eyes are spectacular, he has a ring of brown on the inside, and a ring of green on the outside. Will our babies have green/brown eyes? With dark hair like their parents? Or will we get a completely different mix? Will Robert end up being a blonde haired blue eyed boy? Or even a red haired boy?

Last night I felt completely drained. J was so good, he went and put on some food, while I laid on the sofa resting my eyes. He then tested the CD player we had replaced from John Lewis (portable one for the birth). He even gave me a head massage as I laid there, with the Orgasmatron - named because it can feel so good you end up moaning orgasmically! Hehe. Then he went and got the relaxation script and just started reading from it as the CD player with the relaxation music went on. Unfortunately I got a bit of restless leg syndrome as he was doing this, so I fidgetted quite a bit, but it was still nice for him to do it, without me asking. And then dinner was ready soon after he'd finished, which was yumm. Chicken kiev, chips and loads of veg.

Thanks for your comments about the swollen ankles. I know it is a normal thing in pregnancy, but it has so suddenly happened it's just kind of panicking. I'll just try and get rest during the days, and then bring it up at my appointment on the 29th when she usually asks if I have had any swelling. I guess until then I'll just have to put up with it! I have only had my legs down for about 45 minutes now and already they're tingling and look more swollen.. Oh well...

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