Friday, 18 July 2008

21 weeks 6 days - Bittersweet evening last night, and birthday today!

Hi! Back again! Thanks so much girls for all your comments! I know I would have loved a little girl, but now I know it's a little BOY I'm so excited! And getting to name him too the day we knew he was a HE is just so great! Seems I'm following on with that tradition in family to have boys first afterall!

Last night was a little bitter-sweet truth be told. I put off telling my dad because I wasn't sure of his working hours (he's a tutor, and as such he works long days sometimes, and short days other times, but interrupting him on his mobile is bad :S ) Anyway, I thought maybe with school exams finished he might have LESS work, but still I didn't want to disturb him, so I thought I would wait until the evening when he knew he'd be back, and then call him! Anyway, he ended up calling ME, and I thought "great!" but then he started a tyrade at me, because my sister had said on the phone to him "Have you heard? Have you heard??" earlier on, and because I hadn't got around to calling him yet, he thought I was leaving him out and just not telling him! I ended up bursting into tears on the phone to him, and tried to explain why I'd not called him before, or whatever, at which point he started apologising to me, but I still feel bad, because I know I should have texted him alongside everyone else, but I still feel a little mad at my sister for blurting that out to him before I'd had the chance to tell him myself. I told him amongst sobs that he was going to have another grandson, but urgh, I just felt horrid for ages after. I wanted to just hang up the phone, but Dad soon said goodbye and we hung up anyway. I then spent the next 20 minutes crying and hugging J. When I calmed down, we sat down to watch a film, but I kept running in my head the situation, and eventually got him to pause it, went upstairs and had a bit of a go at my sister, primarily to make sure she hadn't blurted out anything to my brother either, who I hadn't got around to calling yet. She assured me she hadn't, so I called up my brother to tell him he was going to have a nephew. :)

It's nice in a way, 2 boys so close in age, only a year apart. :)

But yeah, the whole evening sort of was very "bleugh" because of the whole "Dad" incident, and then later I thought I'd do a mini-game on the wii fit, and J told me he felt uneasy me doing it (it was the hula hoop one), at which point I threw a bit of a mini strop, flung the wii remote on the sofa and went upstairs to let J do his 30 minutes on the wii board. He came up and said he didn't feel like doing his exercise afterall, which made me feel bad (again!) for being the one to stop him doing so, and anyway, we ended up laying on bed and talking about the evening and stuff. I was still in a very "bleughy" mood, and said "urgh, birthdays are so crap these days..." and then went on to say that they're not like they used to be, which again made him feel like shit because he took that to mean I didn't appreciate his efforts to make my birthdays nice, which wsn't what I meant it to sound like! And I realised as soon as it was out of my mouth what it must have sounded like to him, which made me feel bad again, urgh.

Anyway, we eventually sort of settled everything out, and were just laying there, and J asked me a question, something like "how are you feeling now?" and I said "ok, I guess, and Robert's kicking too". Anyway, J put his hand on my tummy, and I was thinking it's too early for him to feel anything, surely, but then Robert kicked again, and J said "Was that a kick??" :) He felt another one shortly afterwards as well! And then Robert stopped kicking, so he took his hand away and we just sort of laid there, looking into each others faces, and smiling. I asked him how it felt, and he replied that it wasn't very strong, but it felt like someone kicking his hand (lol, men!), and then I asked how it made him feel, and he said "happy, good".

I was so not expecting J to be able to feel Robert's kicks for ages - til at LEAST week 24, possibly 26, because of my size, but I guess Robert must have been lying with his back towards MY back as I was laying on the bed, and kicking up towards my tummy. Any other position I don't think he would be able to be felt from the outside!

But anyway, thanks to my little Robbie, we fell asleep happy with each other and in good moods. :) And hopefully it'll only be another 5 hours before Jonathan gets home today! And then I can open birthday pressies! And go out for a yummy meal tonight. Happy birthday to you too, Sarah! I know a lot of people who share my birthday, including a girl from my old primary school class, and a girl I met on IRC about 5-6 years ago! (or more, actually lol) And now Sarah too! Oh, and my old Catholic priest had my birthday as well. (And Richard Branson, and Nelson Mandella hehe)

But hope you're all well! Thanks for reading, and again for the comments. I love to hear what you all think. :)

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