28 weeks 1 day - new belly pictures!

28 weeks (and 1 day now)! Only 2 days til blood tests (boooo) and 3 until next midwife checkup. I am wondering if Robert will be a squirmy and kicky boy for her then ;)

We've decided to take a weekend off of flat renovating - it makes a change to not have to go gallavanting across the country for yet another weekend! Instead we are clearing out some of the boxes in the spare room, trying to get stuff in the loft, and sorted out generally, so that we have the room to set up the changing table and other bits and bobs. Jonathan's cleared out three boxes worth of stuff so far, I've helped him a bit with those and also put away a tonne of clean (yet screwed up, tsk) washing. Had to hang a lot up indoors to dry because I did two loads yesterday, left it outside overnight, and woke up this morning to hear rain - doh! Nevermind, it was only slightly damp. We had a lovely barbecue yesterday, was absolutely beautiful weather, even if it was slightly too hot for me to be perfectly comfortable. We inherited a parasol from my dad because he got a new garden furniture set and new parasol etc too, it's not brilliant, but it works, and will do us! And it was lovely sitting out there in the shade with our delicious food (Jonathan's really getting good on the barbecue!)

Anyway, I have put up a new belly picture in the gallery, I think there is quite a difference from 24 weeks!

I am quite surprised at the force and positioning of a few of Robert's kicks lately. Some of them are RIGHT under my boobs it seems, although he doesn't feel that high up. But when I sit down with my boobs slightly hunched onto my belly, sometimes he can kick in a place where I can feel the kick on the underside of my boobs! I hope this doesn't mean he's going to be a huge baby! (although he may well be a LONG baby - with his mum at 5'8 and his dad at 6'5 hehe) I might get some indication of his size on Wednesday when I go and see the midwife, I think she'll be measuring me then. Although I don't know how it's going to work exactly with an overweight woman - I guess they know what they're doing for overweight and normal weight women with measuring the uterus etc.

Anyway here are the belly pictures I've not put in the gallery.

Bare front view:

Bare side view:

Clothed side view:

27 weeks 5 days - loves!

I wish I could capture the essence of exactly how it feels when Robert kicks and squirms inside me. Because it's the most magical and amazing feeling I've ever felt. It's the sort of feeling I just want to talk and talk and talk about - to try and describe to anyone who's never felt it before. But somehow whenever I try and think about it, to put it into words, I can't. I mean, well, some of the feelings I feel can be described, but the feelings of your baby moving and squirming and kicking inside you are so varied and different.

There's one that sort of feels like when you go over a bump in a car, that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're momentarily airborne. But then how to describe the kicks? How to describe the feeling you get when your little one squirms right against your belly like they feel so close you could reach down and touch them? And how that's different to when they're squirming or changing position in general. I just love them all!

I am finding myself rushing to the bedroom whenever I feel Robbie squirming in there, and hoping that my moving hasn't lulled him to sleep, so I can continue to watch him! I love the way my entire belly wobbles around when he squirms and wriggles in there. And then blips out with a kick.

I love knowing that he's getting stronger in there, and getting bigger, just from the way his movements feel to me. I love the way I know from day to day that he's okay, that I don't have to worry, that I can enjoy him being in me and growing.

I love the fact that although there are so many things I can't do now, I don't really CARE! Because I love being pregnant and I wouldn't change it for the world! And I love the fact that there's still so much for me to experience! I love looking at my belly in the mirror, in fact, I'm really beginning to love my entire pregnant body! Even with the purple stretchmarks on the sides of my bump/hips. I feel that my belly has all of a sudden grown a lot more, and with it, my self-esteem. I feel so beautiful when I look at myself naked. I love the way my bump looks, I love the way my boobs look(!), and despite the odd aches and pains and heartburn (which comes more frequently now, and sometimes even during the day), I feel amazing.

I love the fact that my husband and I are doing hypnobirthing. I love the fact that I find my husband's voice soothing. I love that he can get me into a state of such dreamy relaxation that I don't want to come out of it! I love that it makes us feel stronger as a couple, and that he will be so important on Robert's birth day. I love it when I see that look of joy and awe in his eyes when he gets to feel Robert kick or squirm, and wish that he could feel it more often.

There is probably a lot more, but I love it that just off the top of my head I have found so many things I love about being pregnant.

I hope this hasn't made too many of you hormonal and weepy! Or perhaps I do hope that, hehe. :) Hope you're all well, and thanks for reading.

27 weeks 2 days - Third Trimester!

27 weeks pregnant! Hurrah! I have my next midwife appointment in 9 days, and my 28 week blood tests next Tuesday.

Jonathan and I had a lovely weekend in Kent, it was Dad's birthday BBQ, there weren't many people, just mainly some of Caroline's family. We had some nice food, chatted a bit, then went inside and played some games (there were only about 8 of us there - were supposed to be 10, but the last two are notorious for being late - and in the end they never showed up!). Caroline's mum had made Robert a little cardigan :) She knitted it as soon as she knew I was pregnant (white), and then when she found out he was a boy, she sewed on a couple of blue heart shaped buttons :)

On the Sunday we went over to my Mum's, we went out for a meal with her, Dave, and her friend Linda (whose husband passed away a couple of months ago). Linda bought us a little outfit for Robert, for him to wear 6-9 months - a little tanktop and trousers, in army colours, and the little top says "Little Action Man!!" Which will be about right for that age! ;) It was very sweet. :) After the meal (which was very nice - I had a nice garlic mushroom soup and hot roll, and then a vegetable pie with mash and white sauce), and when Linda went home, we sat and chatted, and watched most of the movie "Short Circuit" which I remember seeing before when I was a kid, and was still a delightful movie, despite all the bad eighties haircuts! ;) Had a bit of a snooze on their sofa as well. We left there around 6.45pm or so, got back for around 9pm, and just sort of collapsed for the rest of the evening ;)

Robert is still lovely and active. :) He hasn't woken me up since the time he did last week, but he has given me a few kicks and squirms that have taken me by surprise with the force behind them! Every week I think to myself how lucky I am that I am yet another week along in my first pregnancy, where we had no trouble conceiving, and where everything so far has been absolutely fine with no cause for worry. I know that so many people do NOT have such an easy time, and have a lot of trouble having a baby, so I am so thankful that I am not one of those, and that I am so happy to be having this baby. I can only imagine how people who have trouble conceiving feel when they hear about people who have abortions almost as a means of contraception (although it isn't contraception - as conception has already taken place!!)

Every day I look forward to the day when Robert will arrive, and we shall get to see him, and hug him, and kiss him, and help him grow up in a loving secure home.

Anyway, I have taken this time as a break from cleaning the house - J and I are doing bits to spruce it up a bit, I need to carry on with the kitchen (mainly the floor now), and then I need to hoover upstairs. J is mowing the lawn for the first time in about 5 or 6 weeks! (because we've been in Aylesbury or Kent all weekends lately)

I hope you're all okay! And I can't believe it's already over two weeks since Megan had little Matthew - I should check out her normal diary some point soon to see if there are new photos of the little man. :)

26 weeks 6 days - Someone take away his new springs!

Ooof! Well okay, if I hadn't updated yesterday I certainly would have today. The reason being that I think Robert has grown springs in his legs or something overnight!

I had a restless night's sleep anyway last night, due to firstly a strong smell of what reminded me of freshly laid tarmak coming in through the window, then the relaxation CD woke me up when the woman started to speak on it, then needing to wee, then getting too hot... *sigh* Anyway I finally started to dream, and my dream was about an old school 'friend' who wasn't always very nice to me, she used to smack my hands with rulers in class, and stuff like that. Anyway, she was there, and for some reason, she kept poking my belly really hard with a stick or something. And I said to her "Oh, no, please don't do that, I'm pregnant!"

Anyway, she kept doing it, and I was getting quite upset and tried running away from her. Then, at some point in the dream, I felt the poking again, looked down, and the stick wasn't there poking me in the tummy. In the dream I remember thinking how odd that was, and the realisation of that caused me to wake up. And in reality, I was laying on my left hand side, and Robert was kicking me REALLY hard on the side of my tummy touching the bed! So hard and consistantly it leaked through into my dream! I rolled onto my back, and he carried on giving me several BIG kicks to the top of my belly. It was Soooo weird! And amazing - how on EARTH did he get so strong overnight?? It was on the verge of being painful when he was kicking the side of my belly. But I'm also so thrilled - it's so lovely to know he's growing well in there and has so much energy already. :)

Thanks on your comments from the last entry, I think I will have to talk to Stephen so I know exactly where he's coming from before talking to my Mum about that stuff. Ho hum. It's not her fault at all really, just seems like a load of miscommunication, which sucks.

Anyway, hope you're all keeping well. Wooot, 27 weeks pregnant tomorrow!

26 weeks 5 days - sorry for the long gap

Ooops! Realised I haven't updated in almost a week because Becca commented to see if I'm ok. Sorry! :) I'm fine, Robert's fine, just nothing really to update about much except that I'm almost 27 weeks pregnant! And that I'm really beginning to feel like I have half a football stuck to the front of my belly. Robert's kicks and squirms are becoming much bigger, and even now kicks that feel "small" can be felt by hand.

He certainly does seem to react to the relaxation music we got given from Hypnobirthing - I laid down to have a small nap on the sofa last night, and Jonathan went upstairs and put on the music so it came through the living room speakers. Got given a few kicks and squirms throughout, but then, when the bit where a woman speaks over the music with relaxing words, oh my gosh! He just literally started kicking, squirming and punching away in there like mad! It really does make me wonder when a baby reacts like that to music/sound whether they LIKE it, or whether they really hate it! Maybe it might be because I start relaxing more when I listen to it, and because my body is more relaxed, there's more room for him to move, so he does. I don't know really, it is so odd. Does he like it? Or does he want me to turn it off?

I am quite looking forward to taking my 28 week belly picture. I think I must have grown a lot since 24 weeks. I FEEL massive! And sometimes, it's quite freaky, Robert gets into a position inside me that makes my belly HUGE, and rock solid. Like - no give to it at all. Usually I can poke my belly and it'll "squidge" in a little bit (or a lot!), but then when it goes solid, I can poke and it'll maybe give like half a centimeter, if that. (Can usually poke it inward at least an inch)

My belly button is becoming less indented too. I find it fascinating to put my finger in and see how far it goes in, compared to how far I used to ;) Also, holding my tummy, and moving it up and down while looking at my belly button. I am looking MUCH more pregnant now. Finally!

We've been doing a lot of work on the old flat, and last weekend we got Jonathan's parents to come and help (they offered!). So Jonathan, Betsy and I were in the living room painting, cutting in, etc, and Steve was in the bedroom glossing. Anyway, by the end of Saturday we managed to FINISH the wall painting in the living room! (We only managed to get the bedroom done over 3 days I think between us two) And Steve had glossed the picture rail, the door, doorframes, and two walls' skirting boards.

Then, Jonathan had a call from them on the Sunday night I think it was, and they said they'd go there midweek if he dropped a key in to them, so they'd fix the wardrobe doors, and maybe do more glossing. Then, on Tuesday night they said they'd fixed the doors, done ALL the glossing in the bedroom, ALL the glossing in the living room, AND Betsy had cleaned in the bathroom (our old toilet was disgusting - I tried god knows how many times to clean it but couldn't!) and in the kitchen! Which means that all we may have left to do is painting the bathroom ceiling (there's a nice orange patch on there around the lightbulb from when the previous owners took down their ball lamp and replaced it with an ordinary lamp and didn't bother to patch it up), and then replacing the hall carpet with something more inkeeping with the new decoration (and less filthy), and then giving the whole place a thorough clean and getting rid of crappy old bits of furniture.

Can't wait to go back and see how it looks with all the work they did for us on Tuesday. :) Gotta love having retired in-laws ;) They really are great, and have done so much for us over the years.

Right, well tonight is our fourth Hypnobirthing class, then tomorrow we have follow-up jabs for the cat, then on Saturday we're heading down to Kent as it's my dad's birthday. We're going to make sure we see Mum for a good few hours on Sunday, because we just cannot go down without seeing her, especially as she is feeling so left out these days anyway.

Part of me is wondering whether I should suggest we stay over at some point so she feels better. But I know the problem is deep-rooted, and I have a feeling that either Stephen or myself will have to talk to her or each other or all together about it, because I think there is a reason why Stephen and Nicky don't want to stay overnight at Mum's anymore, and I don't think it's only the reason they've been telling her. And when I think about when Robert is here, and especially when he's at the crawling/hoisting himself up stage I think I probably wouldn't want to stay at Mum's for a huge length of time either. Partly because there is only ONE room that a baby could stay in, partly because it's cluttered, partly because there are two fairly boistrous dogs (although getting better - they've been going to a dog trainer), partly because the house always looks so dirty... I don't know if Stephen and Nicky knows how Mum feels, and I don't know exactly what they've told her, but from what Mum has said to ME, I think they've told her they are staying at Dad's because there's more room there. (Which is true!) But I think what they AREN'T telling her are the other things as well. But Mum is under the impression that her house IS big enough, and she is feeling hurt that her house is no longer good enough for either of us to stay in. (She said "So what if the buggy fills the dining room?")

I've told her that the reason why we don't stay at hers at the moment is because I am needing more and more bathroom trips in the middle of the night, and since her bathroom is somewhat of a trek from the bedrooms compared to at Dad's, that's why we stay at Dad's now. Which is one of the reasons, but also, the dogs (I don't really like the dogs a huge amount, although they're getting better with their barking and jumping up), and also the smells in the house. Although the smell that jumped out at you in the bathroom (a damp, musty smell) wasn't there last time, probably because they've now been leaving the bathroom door open.

So it seems at some point Mum might be having some serious conversations that no-one really feels comfortable with :( Also, I think I'm going to have to talk to her about another thing. And I know it's stupid, and I know she's just trying to be jokey and affectionate with it, but she's now taken to calling me "Tubs". And I really don't like it, because I am overweight. I know she is only calling me it because I'm pregnant, but still, I'm NOT really comfortable with my weight. It's NOT overly obvious that I'm pregnant, so calling me Tubs is like calling me Fatty. Ah well. Anyway, I'll leave this entry for now. Sorry for leaving it on a down note, but I can't be bothered to rearrange the entry now.

Can't believe I'm almost 27 weeks. Where has the time gone??

25 weeks 5 days - thanking for the comments, deepness of love for Robert

Oh my gosh, thank you all so much for your comments on my last entry. It is so good to know that I'm not alone in those feelings, that it's normal and that it will come naturally once I'm actually there. I do have an absolutely amazing respect now for people who adopt, because even if they set out to adopt a baby, it doesn't happen like the movies and like in Friends where they were IN the labour ward and got to take home NEWBORNS. Everywhere I've read, about real life adoptions, you bring home a baby who is at LEAST six months old, or even older. And in those situations, it is kind of like you're thrown right in at the deep end with a baby who doesn't know you, and is already doing so many things.

But thank you for your tips, and your advice, and your own experiences, even the things I "already" knew, it was good to hear it from other people. And so lovely to hear from "new" readers too!

I think I am now beginning to understand from a personal level what I have read of other 'mum-to-be's about the deepness of love you begin to feel for your unborn child. I decided to have a bath today, to try out one of those bubble bath bars from Lush I got from Jonathan for my birthday, and while I was laying in there, relaxing, I got thinking about the whole thing, and started to talk to Robert, and rubbed my tummy gently, and before long, I was laying there, blubbing away, tears streaming down my cheeks, my body shaking as I cried these tears of absolute JOY and love for my little Robbie, that he was here, in me, that he is ok, that I am so lucky to feel him move every day, my wistfulness as I imagine what he looks like, and how it will be to hold him, and take in every tiny detail of him, and smell his sweet head. And as I told him, amongst tears, how very much I love him already, and rubbed my belly, I felt the gorgeous "popping" of his little feet against my fingers. And now, as I write this down, with tears forming once again in my eyes, and sniffling a little, I feel his little feet kicking once again, as if he knows...

I hope he knows already just how much love we both have for him.

25 weeks 4 days - Ewan's visit

After meeting with my brother and sister-in-law, and 8.5 month old nephew Ewan, my feelings are a bit all over the place, and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed and left wondering how on earth I am going to cope with a baby... he was crawling all over the place, grabbing at cables of games consoles, dvds, banging coasters and an apple on the coffee table (he took that apple home with him!). He wouldn't lie still for his nappy to be changed (until given what looked like an overgrown wotsit to eat), and he puked all over the carpet, our 2 seater sofa, and Stephen and Nicky (and his own leg). Apparently though the vomitting incident (which looked fairly projectile) wasn't usual, and he had never vomitted that much since he came home from the hospital. It was quite amusing more than anything, and the sofa is leather so got cleaned up fine, and the carpet and upholstery cleaner spray worked fine at getting the sick stain out of the carpet.

But yes, definitely left wondering how on earth I am going to cope, and got the feeling that we're about to go in WAYY above our heads here. I think if I wasn't already pregnant, having Ewan over might have put me off trying for a baby for a good few months! Which sounds horrible, especially considering how much I have really WANTED a baby. Maybe it will be different, because Robert will be our OWN tiny baby, our own product of love.

But anyway, the times Ewan wasn't antsy because he was hungry, or bored, oh my gosh I've never seen such a smiley baby! I mean, I've seen photos of Alice's smiley little ones, but not seen them in the flesh so to speak. But his little smiles were so huge and ALL. THE. TIME! He would look at us, give us a HUGE grin, and then duck away almost shyly, before having another peek at us! Hehe.

He also seems quite strong, he pulls himself up a LOT, stood himself up at the window, patting it with his hands in glee, and clutched hold of my trouser leg more than once to hoist himself up onto his feet! ;) And he did once make a break for the stairs, and started climbing them with absolute glee!

It is so weird seeing my brother as a dad too - quite funny in a way as he gets SO highpitched when he's playing with Ewan, or talking to him. He's definitely a very proud dad.

Before they left, they took some photos (urgh) of us with Ewan. He was already getting a bit grumpy, as he was tired, and having been made to get into his sleepsuit. But Stephen and Nicky sang to him while standing out of camera shot, so he at least wasn't squirming too much and I think he looked somewhat cheerful for the photos.. Don't know about me though!

We never got round to eating the potato bake - a baby just makes things so busy! But they enjoyed the soup and the bread, so that was good. And we gave them some cakes to take for the journey.

Anyway I was absolutely knackered by the time they went, I felt absolutely exhausted what with all the cooking I'd done, and the hoovering upstairs, and all the washing up... my back was killing me as well, and we decided to do the relaxation practise again. Now, Robert either LOVES the music we got given to play to relax to, or he HATES it. Because every time it gets put on, he goes absolutely crazy! Kicks and wriggles around like mad! It's not just laying down and relaxing either, because I stopped Jonathan a little way in to say there was something clicking that was putting me off, and it turned out it was the DVD player which was playing the CD.. he turned it off to set it up in another player, and Robert immediately stopped kicking. Then as soon as the music came on again, he started up again! After a little while of the music playing, he stopped kicking and moving around, maybe he fell asleep. Who knows?! :)

Anyway, I'll leave this entry for now. I'm sure I'll feel better in time about it all, after all, Robert isn't going to be crawling around for a good few months after he's born, so we'll have some time to prepare. Ok, well have fun, hope you're all well, etc etc. :) Thanks for reading. x

25 weeks 3 days - family visit today, preparations

Second entry of the day! Click back to read about Robert's acrobatics if you missed it. :)

Just heard that Stephen and Nicky are going to pop over for a few hours around 5pm today with Ewan. :) Quite excited about seeing my little nephew again (only the second time since he was born last November! Shame on us!).

Got quite a lot to sort out before they come, clearing some space for Ewan to go nuts in (hehe, apparently he's quite the active little Haggis now), vacuuming, cleaning up some junk, etc. And also since they'll be coming over around tea time I've asked if they want food, which they said they will if it's not too much bother. So I went scouring in the cupboards and freezer and such for some vegetarian ideas (Nicky's vegetarian), and came up with quite a surprisingly nice meal considering we have mostly meat stuff in the house! ;)

My famous (well, ok, not famous, but you know) courgette soup for starter, with some homemade bread. (which I will set going in a minute) Followed by a cheese and onion potato bake (found a jar in the cupboard yay!), with some veg. Followed by perhaps some little chocolate cakes if I get time to make them.

Jonathan should be getting home around 4.30-4.45ish, hopefully. He managed to wangle something very last minute. :)

Anyway, got a lot to do! See you all later!

25 weeks 3 days - squirmy sausage!

Robert has started to do his acrobats in there now - well I'm sure he's been doing them for ages, but I can really feel them now! Not just the "thud thud" of his kicking in one place, but movements that make my entire belly wobble! It's an absolutely wonderful yet odd feeling, knowing I can feel things other than forceful kicking motions. He really must be getting big in there! I just love watching my belly when he gets going in there. :)

I think I'm getting to be a bit of a broken record really. I just can't help it! I love this little boy so much and all his squirms and kicks and such. I just become so overwhelmed with love for him whenever I feel a little kick or a squirmy movement or even a new BIG kick record which takes my breath away! My heart swells every time I look down at my belly to see it wobbling around on its own accord, knowing that my little boy is growing in there.

I can't wait until it's my turn to be the one to hold my gorgeous newborn. Talking of which - thank you Megan for taking the time to comment yesterday! Even though I know you must be exhausted and achy. Congratulations again sweetie, can't believe your little Peanut Matthew is here already! x

Will leave it here for now. Hope you're all well xx

25 weeks 2 days - bedroom finished (mostly), Robert's developments

25 weeks pregnant! I still get really amazed whenever I reach a new week thinking "Wow, another whole week pregnant!" It's like I'm still in a bit of a dream about it all and that I can't believe we are actually HERE. Amazing, that I'm almost in the THIRD trimester! And confusing how different websites reckon different weeks for each trimester ;) Robert is now viable, but please Robert, stay in there at least 13 weeks longer!

Robert is now about 1.5lbs, he responds to light and touch as well as his hearing having being developed now for a couple of weeks. His taste buds are forming too! His nostrils are beginning to open so he can practice "breathing" through his nose.

I wasn't actually going to get up this early today. I was extremely tired, as we've been decorating the flat in Aylesbury all weekend (well, about 5 hours both days), and as such have been achy, which makes turning in bed difficult and wakes me up. Anyway, as I laid there after J went to work, it seemed that a certain little someone decided he didn't want me to stay in bed... as I got several kicks to my bladder as if to say "Cmon, stop being lazy now, get yo ass out of bed!!!" Ah well! I think he's definitely already got a little personality going on there, and I agree with Jemma's comment on the last entry or the one before, that he's going to be a bit of a handful! Although, since his ultra active day on Thursday last week, he's not been AS active, but still several bouts of kicking each day. Although with having such busy weekends it might have been hard to tell when he's been active.

We've now finished painting the bedroom (well, apart from glossing, and possibly going back over the magnolia on top with white to break up the wall a bit), and it looks SOOOOO much better now. I cannot believe what a great improvement a lick of paint has made to that room. It took 2 coats of white and a coat of magnolia to cover up the red, oh and something that was quite bizarre, above the window in the bedroom... after we applied the magnolia paint and it had dried a bit, Jonathan called out to me "There's writing on this wall!" I came and looked, it was quite hard to make out at first, but yeah... take a look at this photo! Jonathan reckons that we have ghosts there, which is why it never showed up til we painted. On that bit of wall, there was 1 coat of white, and 2 coats of magnolia (he painted over the writing after he saw it the first time to see if it would cover it). Very odd.. Sacred Spirits.. hmmm... But when the curtain pole is back up it won't be noticeable. But yes, overall very happy with the bedroom.

Jonathan's parents are coming over next weekend to help with the living room, so maybe, the living room will be done in one day?! :) Would be handy if it was, will save us going over there on the Sunday, and we can't go round the next weekend because we've said we'll go to Kent for Dad's birthday thing. If the living room hasn't been finished by then we'll have to go back and do it the weekend after Dad's birthday BBQ. Then once all the decorating has been done, we can hire a cleaner, and they can give the house a fantastico clean, and then we can put it on the market! And hopefully sell it before Robert is born.

Anyway, I'd better get going now, had to go to the toilet AGAIN after Robert decided to give my bladder another kicking. Can't have my usual honey nut cornflakes breakfast, because we ran out of milk (well, only enough for J to make my tea this morning), and it being Sunday yesterday, tesco closed early. Pfff. So will have to settle for toast, and then walk down to the tesco in a bit and get some milk. Hope you're all well, and a HUGE congrats to Megan!!!! She has had her little Matthew and it sounds like he's breastfeeding like a champ! Can't wait for more updates from her, but I guess I'll have to be patient ;)

Oh, something I forgot to add (so am adding it now at 1.15pm hehe.. I am feeling now as though my belly is ballooning - it really feels huge. I find myself sometimes waddling around (although this is mainly when I'm tired last thing at night or first thing in the morning, or somewhere in between). I was laying down in bed (went back for an hour or so for a snooze after my tea), and my tummy just felt huge and ROCK solid. Huge pregnant tummy yay ;) I think it's expanded up furthur a lot since I last noticed, the last time I felt where it was (even only about a week ago), it was only a small way above my belly button. But I feel it's now a huge amount higher, maybe 2 inches above?

We really need to see about getting a new table and chairs before my belly gets too big for me to be able to eat on my lap... Right, am off again now. Need to phone up the doctor's today to book an appointment for my 28 week blood tests. Joy of joy. Only 3 weeks away from my 28 week antenatal appointment now :) I do so like going because I get to hear my little Robert's heartbeat galloping along! :)

24 weeks 6 days - 2nd hypnobirthing class

Well, my mum is due to arrive today in about half an hour, she's coming over for a few hours since she has the week off. I don't think she's seen the new sofas yet :)

Last night was interesting. For a start, I had a shower earlier in the day, forgot to apply deodorant afterwards, then had a nap until we had to go and completely forgot, so yeah, ended up feeling gross and stinky at the class :( Sort of took me back to when I worked at the nursery, I had a similar problem, where while I remembered to take deodorant, for some reason the deodorant I used did not work, and I got a lot of hassle and nasty comments behind my back. But yeah.. bleugh. Anyway.. we covered breathing during surges (contractions) last night, and watched a couple of hypnobirths.

During the bit where she was showing us the breathing techniques to use during the surges, I was copying to get a feel for it. Shortly after she said she was going to get the women to try it so she could see how we did, and as she was discussing this, I suddenly realised I was becoming sweaty, dizzy, feeling a bit sick and claustrophobic. Jonathan noticed I wasn't looking too good and asked if I was ok, I shook my head, and as Jenny split the group up, he interrupted her to say I wasn't feeling too well, and then we went outside, where I got some fresh air, she came out to see how I was feeling, and I told her what I was feeling (as I was out there, trying to breathe, I realised I was finding it hard to do so), and she said it sounded like a panic attack! Which was strange as I never remembered having one before, or feeling that way. She said sometimes if you concentrate on your breathing that can trigger a panic attack, and the breathing you do during the surges is quite difficult, and much easier while lying down rather than sitting up in a chair.

After a few minutes standing out there in the cool breeze, I started to feel better, less sweaty, nausea fading, my legs, which were shaking as I walked out felt stronger. I went and got a glass of water, and then did my bit on the mat laying down with the breathing, and it was much easier and I felt ok. A lot of the women expressed some concern, asked if I was feeling better, which was nice. I actually got talking to a woman there who was on her third child, and that was nice. She seemed really friendly, and she also reminded me of someone, but who I don't know. She just had a lovely familiar air about her. Her husband seems quite nice as well.

There was an extra couple at this session, who are 35 weeks along!

Anyway, should go and wash up some mugs before Mum gets here, she's bound to want a coffee. Sorry this entry isn't as structured as usual, but I'm a bit rushed today. Hope you're all well! And ooh, Megan hasn't updated yesterday so I'm guessing she's still in hospital, with little Peanut! So exciting. :)

24 weeks 5 days - active little Robbie, emotions, and could Meg's little Peanut be on his way?!

Well, 2nd hypnobirthing class is tonight, we need to take some pillows with us tonight, and for the next 3 as well (5 lessons in total). Not sure exactly what we'll be doing tonight, I think it was originally going to be teaching the labour partners how to hypnotise us (by hypnotise, I of course mean aiding us into a deep state of relaxation), but I think at least 2 of the 6 husbands/partners can't make it to this session so we might be waiting til the next session.

I know I have no other frame of reference, this being my first pregnancy and all, but I cannot believe how ACTIVE Robert is. He probably has around 4-6 active moments each day now, some more-so than others. Rarely he kicks first thing in the morning, but this morning, while Jonathan was getting ready for work, and I was laying in bed, Robert started to kick, quite a lot too, and fairly hard, so I called out that he was kicking, and Jonathan put his hand on my belly, and over the next 30 seconds or so, Robert gave about 3 or 4 strong kicks to Jonathan's hand. :) He'd kicked about 7 or 8 times before that too before Jonathan came in. Then just before Jonathan left, he came in and kissed my belly, and then put his hand (which was cold from washing his hands or something) on my belly, and Robert gave another 3 gentle kicks, of which Jonathan felt 1 or 2. :) This I think is the first time Robert's kicked just before J's gone off to work. :)

And then, downstairs I was watching a friends episode, and eating my breakfast, when Robert started kicking again. I just feel so blessed (I say blessed, I know it's a religious term, and I'm not at all religious anymore, but it feels like the most appropriate word) to be pregnant! And to get this far along in my first pregnancy! And to feel my sweet son poking and prodding and kicking me. :) Sometimes I feel several kicks all in the space of a couple of seconds, which makes me think maybe he's changing position at that time, and trying to get comfortable again. Once yesterday I felt one kick over on my right hand side, and then about 3 or 4 seconds later, one on my left hand side, so I guess he must have either changed position very quickly, or one of them was a punch! ;)

I love these little kicks so much! Not only because they remind me that I'm pregnant every day, and that soon I will be holding my sweet son, but also because they let me know he's ok, and he's growing bigger and stronger all the time! They are helping me to connect with this little person inside of me so much. Truth be told, it's hard to connect with an idea as much as a constant reminder that something is there. Before I could feel the kicks and movements every day, it was hard to imagine there was a baby inside me let alone connect with it. I could see little to no change in my body, I could feel nothing, it felt a little like I was a fraud, that I wasn't pregnant at all. Then I had the 12 week scan, and there he was, but still, no movements, no clues apart from that picture on the screen to let me know he really was in there. These kicks are so human-like there is now no denying I am pregnant at all, and I love it so much! And I can connect with this tiny boy inside me who is letting me know he is there, and he can hear me. :) I am so glad I'm into the 2nd trimester, and can feel my tiny boy every day. And I can't wait to experience the 3rd trimester! Robert is kicking again as I type this - making this the third active session today! Already! At only 10.30am. :) And while I can't wait to meet my little Robbie, I am also eager to make sure I experience everything properly, and to make sure we are completely ready for him to join us.

That's another idea I cannot fathom, how, in 3 and a half short months, we will no longer just be 2 people, but a family of THREE!

I am just completely overwhelmed by so many emotions these days. I cannot believe that in such a short time, I will be someone's Mummy.

Oooh! And it seems things are on the move for Meg. Soooo exciting! I can't believe still she's already at her due date (almost!). But I guess that since she was 15 weeks ahead that would of course make her due now, since I'm practically 25 weeks pregnant! ;) I can't wait to see her pictures of little Peanut, I'm sure we'll be seeing them soon. Yay!

24 weeks 3 days - dreams, and youtube link to a hypnobirth

Over the last month or so, I've been having a lot of extremely vivid dreams. Several of these dreams have been sexual, which is ummm.. quite nice! ;) Something that baffles me though is that very few of these dreams are actually dreams about J. They seem to be mostly strangers (just random people who I've never met at all, just a made-up face), or people I know sort of but not very well, but in one instance (and I feel rather ashamed and dirty for even writing this down) it was my brother... :S I know it's just a dream, and has no reflect on what I will do or perhaps even consciously want to do, but still, the thought that I had that dream grossed me out. Anyway, last night I had such a dream (with a stranger), and although in the dream we never quite got round to doing... that... I eventually woke up, and contemplated waking J up for some middle of the night/early morning romping! Hehe. But it's hard, knowing that he doesn't really like the idea of doing it knowing Robert's in there, and now he's active... Shortly after I woke and was contemplating waking J up, Robert started to kick, so I decided against it, and just went back to sleep. (I think I actually tried to re-enter the dream, but of course it didn't work... ah well!)

I've also had a few bizarre vivid dreams. Last night, sort of connected to the sexual one, I dreamed that we were driving or walking (can't remember now, I think it was walking though) somewhere where I knew the road layout well. We were using a hand guidance system with road maps there and that showed you your location as you were walking, and while the road layouts looked familiar, the houses and buildings on the road were becoming more and more bizarre. Then the roads AND the road map morphed into a completely unfamilar road layout, and I remember thinking that we were still on the normal road layout but for some reason we were following the unfamiliar one both on the map and in the real world, and the normal one had somehow fallen into some parallel world or something.

I also had a dream a couple of nights ago where Robert was here, born. And while I was dreaming I could visualise his little face so well! But now the face I dreamed is a little blurry. But I remember thinking how his little face was mature for a baby, yet he was still tiny. And I remember him having dark dark hair. Oh my, I think I would just melt if it turns out that Robert has a head of gorgeous dark hair. It's entirely likely that our children will have dark hair, since J and I both also have dark hair. I don't know why, but babies with dark hair are just soooo gorgeous! Of course babies with light hair, or no/very little hair are also gorgeous, but I do have a soft spot for dark haired babies... I will love my little Robert no matter how he turns out looking. But for him to have lots of dark whispy hair would be a dream come true for me. :)

Before I go any furthur I want to thank those of you who commented on my last entry, both in comments and notes. Sarah: I do use some stretchmark oil whenever my bump feels itchy. I don't know if it is doing anything at all, perhaps lessening the stretchmarks I don't know. But I suppose it's good to make sure the skin is moisturised as it's stretching. Although I know I implied I hated them (I suppose I would have preferred none), I actually love my little bump even with the stretchmarks. I guess they're kind of like a little badge of honour.

Jemma, Linds, Heather, thanks for your compliments on my photo. I do look a lot better in that one than my full length one I took at 20 weeks, because I made a conscious effort to give a big smile. I must remember that whenever I get my photo taken in the future, that big smile = better photo! Hehe.

Becca - who knows?! I think the bump shape thing is all an old wives tale, we might yet see Sophie join us in October/November. :) Still, it's comforting to know that there are others who have bumps like mine.

Oh, right, before I do go, I want to post this Youtube video, it's of a home birth of someone in America, who also did Hypnobirthing. It's truly fascinating to watch, and also really inspirational with how calm she is and beautifully her baby is brought into the world. Hope this works anyway, I've not embedded youtube videos before. Although, you might have to go and confirm your birthdate at the actual site so I'll put the link to the movie here as well incase you need to go login.

Video Link.

Anyway, time to go now, just going to send some "labour vibes" to Megan, as she's nearing her due date now and I'm sure she must be going crazy! Hope you see little Peanut soon!

24 weeks 2 days - flat decorating, and new belly pics!

Well, J and I had a very productive day yesterday. We went to our old flat in Aylesbury (we still own it, we're getting it ready to sell) to start on the decorating. We have taken down the shelves in the living room (ugly ones we put up to house all of our DVDs and computer stuff), then we went around filling in all the holes in the walls in both the living room and the bedroom. That took a while because I also washed down all the walls in the bedroom ready for painting - they were extremely dusty. We took a late lunch break, got back around 5pm, and then sanded down all the holes we'd filled in the bedroom, and then got started painting. Now, this is what the bedroom looked like before. Of course there's no furniture in it anymore, well except a bunch of crap stuff we didn't want anymore - an old bookcase, the blue chest of drawers you see in the photo, and also the black desk like thing the lamp on the right is sitting on. But yeah, VERY red. We basically painted the whole room (the whole room was decorated like that - it wasn't just one wall of red in a nice otherwise plain bright room) with the first coat of white to try and get rid of the red. The room will need at least 2 coats of white, followed by the coat of magnolia (yay! haha) on top. But goodness, it'll be worth it, the room should look so much brighter. And hopefully, it'll also look bigger. But we have so much work to do. We also need to paint the living room, replace the hall carpet, and then probably hire a professional cleaner to just blitz the place from top to toe. And then maybe hire some furniture just to spruce the place up and make it look presentable, get rid of all the crud in there at the moment.

We got home around 10pm, and I was absolutely knackered. Maybe it was the long car journey home from having just been very active painting, bending, squatting to do the bottoms of the walls, standing on my feet a lot, but by the time we got back and I sat down, it was like my entire body stiffened up, and it was agony even to walk over to the coffee table (currently pushed up against the wall), bend down and get myself some fruit. Followed by an extremely uncomfortable night of not being able to turn over without being in agony. Luckily, being up and about for a few hours seems to have loosened my joints a little, and I'm no longer in pain. But I feel so proud of our day's work on the flat. :) Yes we only managed to put on one coat, but we're done with all the filling in, and all we need to do now is more painting. And it was quite fun and theraputic :)

Right. Well now weekend (well, Sunday) news has been done, I can tell you I've taken more belly pictures! I haven't compared them to the old ones yet, I'll post the new ones here (well I took different angles), so I'll post the un-traditional ones here, and the traditional one to the belly gallery for comparison. I also took a picture of my new hair cut, although grrr, the straightening didn't last long, and it now looks all wavy as per usual, and of course nothing like it did when I came back from the hair dresser. Which is a shame because I have no photographic evidence of my post-hairdresser-pre-wash hair cut. I take horrid photos, my usual looks are horrid when captured so I have to grin totally over-the-top to actually look semi-normal in photos.

So, here are my belly pictures (you'll find the usual half-bare pic in the belly gallery).

First off is the clothed bump, wearing a top that is a little too short for my bump right now, really need to get some belly belt things so I can keep wearing little tank tops if I need to.

Next is bare belly side shot, you can see some horrendous purple stretchmarks here, they were already there from pre-pregnancy though, just got a bit worse since Robert started his journey ;)

Next I decided to do a frontal bare shot. You can really see the extent of my stretchmarks here, ones that I DIDN'T have before pregnancy, these are all new! Looks like I'm not going to be as lucky as Alice or Megan!

Right, well I'll sign off here, and go put that normal belly shot in the belly gallery, and then compare ;) I feel bigger (slightly) but we shall see!

24 weeks - Hypnobirthing classes, Robert's kicks

24 weeks pregnant today! Wowzers. :) I cannot believe how quickly this pregnancy is flying by now. Robert is now around 11 and a half inches long. He's well proportioned, but still very thin with very little body fat. He weighs around 1.3lbs! Robert's ears are fully functional, he can now hear sounds from outside the womb very easily.

He is also still kicking for Britain! I still absolutely ADORE these little kicks he gives me. I love just laying down, with my head propped up a bit, staring at my tummy, and watch it "bounce" around as he kicks. They are getting so strong too! The other day, I was laying on the bed, Jonathan came and joined me, and laid his hand on my tummy to see if Robert would start to kick, he did start kicking fairly shortly, and then BAM he gave a MASSIVE kick, which Jonathan said was the strongest he's felt, and boy, it was the strongest I've felt! It did actually take me a bit by surprise, when Robert did that kick. I just LOVE seeing my stomach "blip" out in places when he kicks. I love that I can feel my little boy getting stronger every week too!

Other pregnancy related news: the Hypnobirthing class on Thursday. It went great. :) There were 5 other couples there, but only two weren't first time parents-to-be. I was the youngest person there! I think the next youngest woman was 30. But anyway, Jenny, the practitioner, went through basically how it's fear that causes a woman to tense up during childbirth, and it's that tenseness that makes muscles in the uterus constrict, which means they're not working properly to do what they're meant to do during the birthing process. Which causes the pain. So from what I can tell, these classes will be basically how to get yourself into a state of calm relaxation (aka hypnosis) during the labour, which will enable your body to work as it is supposed to when giving birth, both in the uterus muscles remaining relaxed, and allowing the body to produce the natural pain-killing chemicals that naturally occur when the body goes into labour. (I forget what they are called - but they are the same chemicals that make you feel good)

It did seem a bit "hippy-ish" at first, doing the breathing techniques, and so on, allowing yourself to get into a state of extreme relaxation just by breathing. But it seems that if it works, if these breathing exercises allow you to relax and birth comfortably (they use different terminology too, softer language that doesn't have negative connotation - comfortable birthing = pain-free labour, opening and thinning of the cervix = dilation, surges = contractions, etc) then it'll be worth it. She also seems very pro home birthing. I would consider it, but Jonathan isn't keen, and the midwife when I mentioned I'd like to do some research on it and maybe I might try to have one, she sort of pooh-poohed it, and said "well it's not recommended for the first birth as we don't know if you'll have any birthing complications" or something like that. I'll finish the hypnobirthing classes shortly before 29 weeks pregnant - which means I guess we will have to continually practise the techniques to make sure we don't go "rusty".

So. Tomorrow we will be going to Aylesbury, back to the flat to decorate there a bit. We need to do some painting, taking down shelves, refilling holes, and so on. We'll make sure the rooms are well ventilated before we do them of course. I hope you're all well. I'll try and get a picture in the belly gallery in the next few days. I think I must have grown a bit since 20 weeks!