32 weeks 2 days - Hypnobirthing thoughts. Long entry, be warned!

Since our hypnobirthing classes ended at the end of August, I must admit we have been incredibly slack with the practise. The practise being: listening to the birthing affirmations and rainbow relaxation CDs, putting on the background music while Jonathan reads the scripts to me so I get used to being in relaxation to his voice, practising the light touch massage and the relaxation anchors (when he presses on my shoulder with his hand I relax more, when he says certains words I relax more, and so on). Pretty soon I shall have to start with the perenial massages, which will help loosen up my vagina and the perenial tissues ready for labour, meaning I have a lesser risk of tearing or needing an episiotomy.

A big part of the Hypnobirthing philosophy is the belief and confidence in yourself that you can do it. The ability to let go and just let your body do what it was designed to do (yes, that's right, your body is DESIGNED to give birth comfortably, with no pain!). The main obstacle I have found is other people's opinions and passing comments - however well meant these comments are, they are really not what I need to be hearing! Someone who was in my primary school class, who has 2 children now, she said to me "Try not to worry too much about labour, just remember that however tough and painful it is, it will all be worth it when you're holding your baby.". And I know that a lot of the people reading this will nod their heads and say "hell yeah, totally" to that.

But the problem with comments like that is that once again the idea is being enforced that labour is always painful, no-one can get around that, and if they do, they're either drugged up, lying, or "lucky".

I had another comment made to me a month or so back. "Oh, don't worry, soon enough you'll be screaming" referring to my labour. When I replied back saying "No I won't." the same person retorted with "They all say that...."

And that little exchange made me feel so many emotions... mainly anger, but also pity, resignation, amongst other things. By the way that exchange was with a man, whose wife had given birth to 2 or 3 children. But it's comments like those which drill it in to young girls, women.. "When you have children, your labours will be painful, horrific, traumatic, and hey, guess what? There's nothing you can do about it!" And makes me feel sad because this is the society we're in now, where women are TERRIFIED of giving birth. Where birth is something to be forgotten about as quickly as possible. Where the notion is that if anyone was capable of remembering exactly what they went through when they birthed their first child, they would NO WAY have a second, or a third...

Ironically, it's because of this fear that women have of giving birth that they have such painful traumatic births! The fear causes them to tense up, especially in the uterine area, and when the uterus muscles are tense, they cannot work properly in thinning the cervix because of the resistance. Then once the cervix is finally fully opened, the mums are told to "push" which serves only to narrow the vagina in front of the baby's head, causing it to push down against a narrow opening, causing more pain.

One of the reasons I am now leaning more towards a home birth is because I feel that I am more likely to get the birth I want from it. The natural painfree hypnobirth, where I won't be pressured by doctors or midwives to have my waters broken or a drip placed in my arm to "speed things along". Where I am left to my own devices, allowed to position myself where I see fit, with what feels right with no-one wanting to strap me down to a bed. Apparently once you accept any sort of medical intervention (even "little" things like having your waters broken, or membranes swept), your likelihood of having a purely natural childbirth (ie, NO medication or pain relief whatsoever) decreases significantly. And at the same time, your chances of needing a cesarian increases.

Something I didn't know before I did the Hypnobirthing classes, was that another way a woman's body is designed to birth, is that when the body is sufficiently relaxed, it produces a LOT of endorphines during labour, a natural painkiller which is several times more powerful than morphine!

Anyway. I am hoping that this act of writing down my feelings about the whole thing has reaffirmed my ability to let go of my birthing fears. I think I just need to find a non-confrontive thing to say in response to people who tell me (or imply to me) that it's stupid of me to think I can have a painfree birth. I was beginning to wonder what with lack of practise and having people say to me the things they said whether it would be possible for me to have the birth I wanted. Afterall, doing Hypnobirthing classes isn't enough. One example is of a woman who attended these classes, but she was surrounded by people who loved the "horror birth story telling sessions", and as such, she ended up having one herself to tell, despite the hypnobirthing classes.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking "I'll show them all, I'll have a painfree birth then I can show them..." which isn't the sort of thinking I want to let myself get trapped into. I'm not doing this for THEM - those people who try and bog me down with horror stories and anecdotes which harvest the fear in women everywhere. I'm doing this for myself, for my relationship with Jonathan, and most importantly for Robert. I am doing this to leave myself with a memory I will WANT to keep replaying over and over and over in my mind forever, about that wonderful day when Robert came into our lives, when I was so relaxed, and euphoric, and excited by it all, instead of wishing it was all over already. I am doing it so that I am able to be renewed and refreshed still even when Robert has only just been born, and to give him a start to life that is peaceful, comfortable, and safe.

On our first Hypnobirthing class, Jenny, the practitioner, went around the couples and asked us what we wanted to get out of hypnobirthing. Unfortunately, I was the first in line, and all I really remembered about hypnobirthing was what I saw on that Richard and Judy show all those years ago. I said something like "I want to have a painfree childbirth, and I want to dispel in my mind all the myths about childbirth." Jonathan said "I'm only here because Nicola wants to be here really." The rest of the couples said things like "I want to be more in control of my birthing experience" and "I want to have a medication free childbirth" and things like that.

As the lessons came and went, I too saw not only the "painfree" aspect as something I wanted, but also the fact that Jonathan would be an intregal part of Robert's birthing day. So many men seem detached from the whole thing, never knowing what to do, what to say, how to make things "better". With hypnobirthing, they are taught that they have a clear focus, a clear purpose, and are one of the most important things a labouring mother can have with them on their baby's birth day.

I sat on the sofa earlier, Robert was squirming a little and poking his little foot out, and all of a sudden a rush of emotions filled me, and I imagined the three of us - me, Jonathan, and Robert in our arms. I could feel the elation and awe I felt holding my tiny boy, and I started to ache with love as it filled my chest, while simultaneously tears filled my eyes. Even though I don't have any idea where to begin, I am beginning to feel like a Mum.

32 weeks 1 day - more back pain, weekend, belly pictures.

32 weeks! Woah! (yeah yeah, I know, sorry, I'm guessing my amazement each week that that number is 1 higher than last week is wearing thin by now!) Less than 2 months to go! (or about 2 months I should really say, seeing as Robert could well be born late - he could even be a December baby! Which is an odd thought, I always think of him as being a November baby, but it's entirely possible he will be a December baby. Well, there's even a remote chance he could be an October baby, someone who was due on 14th November gave birth to her baby 3 days ago!)

Friday night, what should come back with a vengance but of course that lovely pelvic pain I had earlier in the week. I got next to no sleep from 12.30 til 3.40, when I woke up for the umpteenth time and started crying, which in turn woke Jonathan up. My crying until he woke up and asked what was wrong were little sniffles and muffled cries, which turned instantly more hysterical and bawly as soon as he asked me what was up. Amongst sobs I said something like this... "I'm in so much *sob* pain that whenever *sob* I turn over *sob* it hurts so bad *sob* and I've had hardly *sob* any sleep *sob* and it's only *sob* 3.40 am *wails* and I don't want to have to lie back doooooooooown! *bawls*

Then I managed to get some sleep after taking a couple of paracetomol - it still hurt like hell, but I only had to turn over once between then and around 7.30am when I needed the loo. Went back to bed again, and before I knew it, Jonathan was saying "Oh, shit, it's 10 o'clock!"

We'd invited my Mum and Dave over for a roast dinner (they are busy Sundays so we had a Saturday roast hehe), and we still had some washing up to do, and vacuuming the living room carpet, and moving the sofa to get the table out. They ended up arriving around 12, so we had about 45 minutes to just sit and chat over coffee (well, tea for me, because although every now and then coffee has smelt strangely nice, I'm still not brave enough to try it incase I still don't like it!) while Jonathan (bless him) sorted out most of the dinner. I came in to sort the gravy and drain the veg while he was sorting out the meat, but apart from that he did it all! I made up a bit of mint sauce as we were having lamb, and got out cartons of juice, glasses and cutlery.

It was such a pleasant afternoon. After the dessert we decided to play a few board games, which were fun, and they ended up leaving around 5.30pm or so. It was lovely because I can't remember who it was with, possibly my Dad, but I was itching for them to leave when they came over once, but with Mum and Dave I wasn't itching at all, I thoroughly enjoyed their company, and Jonathan was relaxed with them moreso than when we go over to theirs (presumably familiar environment and no driving fatigue). We gave them the lamb bone to take back with them for their dogs, which I heard was very well received! Hehe.

Last night, Robert was extremely active, deciding on several accounts over an hour or so to poke out really hard with both a foot (feet?) and a hand (hands?) simultaneously! Every time he did it it made me go "Oooh!" with the force and strangeness of sensation.

Anyway, since it's 32 weeks I've uploaded more belly gallery pictures, I've put the normal "half bare" picture in the gallery already, and here are the other two I took, the clothed and bare bumps.

The difference between that one and the 20 week one (or even 24 week one) is amazing! Gogo gadget Robert! Grow, baby grow!

31 weeks 5 days - cravings, hiccups, nesting

Something I've been thinking about lately is cravings in pregnancy. I have had them - but they've all been NORMAL things, nothing really to give anecdotes on like pickles and ice cream, or whatever. Early on in my pregnancy it was fruit fruit and more fruit. Mainly citrus, but anything would do. Now, the fruit thing has waned a bit, although I can quite happily munch through a whole bag of grapes (We buy two whole bags every time we do a big shop, and I eat most of them).

Now, it seems to be all about the calcium. Bowls of cereal with loads of milk, milkshakes galore, and ice cream. Yesterday I must have got through about 2 pints of milk by myself with my 3 bowls of cereal, and 2-3 glasses of milkshake. Although today I must restrain myself a little, and make sure there will be enough milk for Saturday. As we were shopping last night, J said "do we need more milk?" because he'd only been and got a 6 pint of milk on the Monday on his way home from work with some cereal. Today I finished off that 6 pint carton of milk! So it's a good thing I said "YES we will, I'll go through the one that's in the fridge in no time!".

But it's all good! Because now's the time when the bones really start to harden up, so I need as much calcium as I can get! Oh! And yoghurts, I've been eating those like they're going out of business. The tesco smooth set ones - I really really like those ones! Can't get enough! (3 packs of 6 we get, and they get eaten fairly quickly - I usually eat 2 in a sitting!)

Since I started paying attention to Robert's hiccups, he seems to get them all the time! The other night he got them just after I laid down in bed, and J felt my tummy to see if he could feel them too, and he could! He was surprised at how frequent and rhythmic they were. It seems that a good way for people to feel him will be to wait until he gets the hiccups, and then get them to come over and feel - they won't be feeling his kicks, but at least he can't be stubborn and stop hiccuping as soon as someone comes over to feel! ;)

I actually can't believe how I felt his kicks and movements when they were so slight! I'm so used to his big kicks and sweeping movements of feet over my belly that I can't fathom how I ever felt the teeny tiny movements at all!

Anyway - I forgot to talk to J about the optician, so it might have to wait til next week now. I guess another week won't hurt when it's already been so long. It's a good thing I don't drive! Sometimes as we're going somewhere in the car, I can't read a sign until it's practically ontop of us... as for reading numberplates - hah!

I have a feeling the nesting urge is going to start real soon as the panic wears in that we've still got nowhere to put the changing table, and the back room is still full of boxes, and we still don't have a supply of nappies, and we still need to make sure we have all the essential clothes for Robert and wash them all, and sort a hospital bag just in case he's premature or we need to transfer... etc etc etc. Oh, and writing a birth preference sheet! Goodness, can't believe how much there is to do.

And maybe somewhat silly of me, but I've said that J and I will go to Thorpe Park to meet some friends I've known online for the past year and a half. This is taking place on November 1st! 3 weeks from my due date! I must be friggin crazy! So I'll have to make sure that we take my notes with us, and a hospital bag, and anything else I'll need in case of an emergency incase I go into labour! But crazy as it sounds these people are some of my best friends, and next year, such a thing will be practically impossible with a small baby. So I kind of feel like it'll be now or never! Especially with quite a lot of them from Netherlands, Denmark, or such. And of course I won't be going on any rides! Well, maybe the teacups and the rapids, but that's the extent, if even those! But yeah if any of you lot end up going to Thorpe Park on November 1st and see a huge group of pasty internet geeks wandering around (I think there's going to be 24 or so of us!!!), you'll know who they are lol (well, that it's me, J and a load of my online friends).

Anyway, I'll leave off here for now. Speak to you all soon!

31 weeks 4 days - midwife appointment

The midwife appointment was today. Luckily, my pain when moving has worn off (actually started to get a little better yesterday, only slight twinges on getting up and down from seats, but hurt when I'd lain down for a while and tried to get up. Now it's only a slight twinge when getting up from laying down). Thank you for the comments by the way! Speaking to Beverley about it today, she said it was probably either the baby trapping a nerve, or the head engaging, and then popping back out again.

My urine and blood pressure were both fine as they have been throughout the pregnancy. I thought she was going to weigh me again when I saw her copy my BMI at booking to another section in the booklet, but she didn't. She did actually measure me this time though, and I measured 32 weeks - considering I'm 31 and 4 days that's pretty much spot on! She confirmed that Robert was still head down, as I thought based on where I was feeling his kicks! She also found his heartbeat within seconds! From where she placed the doppler, it seems he's now laying with his back to the right hand side of my belly!

She asked if I was getting some swelling, and I am, I've had to take off my wedding ring, because it was getting tight, and had trouble getting it off when I did try so lucky I guess I did it then instead of leaving it on! Also, my boots seem to have got a lot tighter, they're only little ankle boots (my calves are too fat for knee-highs), but with socks on they did struggle to be done up, plus my feet were wedged in slightly more firmly than normal. She didn't seem too concerned when I told her this, supposedly since my blood pressure was fine, it's probably just water retention.

After the appointment, I went for a walk along the highstreet, where I bought a stack of cards for upcoming birthdays. There are three in October (J's dad, my SIL Nicky, and J), then there's Ewan in November, so I got him a card with a big 1 on it, and then my sister in December. And I also got a card for my mum's partner, who's birthday was on Monday, but they're coming up this weekend for a roast and to be the first visitors to christen our new table! ;)

I am also getting desperate to see an optician. I first got glasses at the age of three, but I stopped wearing them when I was about 19 or so. My eyesight was fine at first, but now it's getting so poor I can bearly read posters 3 meters away. Unfortunately, it's another expense - I expect it will cost several hundred pounds for the eye test, and a couple of pairs of glasses with the lenses I will probably need. There is an optician in town, I looked at the opening times, so I'll have to try and make time to go down there, and make sure that there's money in my account. But I do really need them now. I'll speak to J about getting some money in my account and maybe go down before the weekend.

Hope you are all well, and I'm glad you had a nice day yesterday, Becca. x

31 weeks 3 days - painful day yesterday

I can't begin to say just how exhausted I feel. All day yesterday (yes, ALL day) I was in massive pain whenever I moved. The pain radiated from either my left labia, or the pelvic bone beneath, and is a stabbing pain that shoots through the entire area whenever I move my legs. And also a lot of the time whenever I got up to move, the pain caused me to tense up, and then my uterus started hurting underneath too. :( And a lot of the time my belly has felt really hard... but not braxton hicks hard - which makes me wonder if Robert has gone into the back-to-belly position (forget what it's called - is it anterior or posterior?).

Turning in bed has been a nightmare, causing me to groan loudly whenever I do. Yesterday afternoon because I'm fine when still, I decided to pick out a book and lay down and read it on the bed. (Round Ireland with a Fridge by Tony Hawks - excellent, excellent book, very funny. Had me in fits of giggles, and at one point outright tear-producing laughter) Laid on my side, and Robert decided to do his usual trick of kicking the side of my belly hehe. But anyway, I went back to read a bit more later in the evening after our meal, lay in bed, but of course whenever I had to shift position even slightly, OWWW! "Are you alright?!" calls my husband from the other room... and I must admit I replied back a little sarcastically "Just peachy, thanks!" Which isn't very nice I know, he's just trying to be nice and concerned. "Is there anything I can do?" Unfortunately not, I answered back with another slightly sarcastic "yeah, you could chop me off at the middle and give me someone else's body." which of course I didn't mean because then what about poor Robert!!! I instantly felt a little guilty when I said that.

The pain has continued on throughout the night last night, leaving me a little bleary eyed this morning. I do hope the pain subsides somewhat before tomorrow, because it's my 31 week midwife appointment, and I have to walk into town. It's not far, but far enough when every step hurts unless I waddle.

Last night sitting on the loo, I suddenly panicked inwardly and thought "what if something is wrong with me, what if I'm going into premature labour? What if I give birth to Robert right here right now while I'm sitting on the loo? What if his head hits the bowl and...." I can't even bear to write the rest of that sentence. It's bad enough thinking it. And then I think to myself what a bad mother I'll be, so maybe it'd be for the best... but then that is too horrible. Urgh, I feel disgusted with myself that I ever thought that. I need to really stop being so insecure. I can, and will, be a great mum, I just have to have confidence in myself.

I will have to write down a list of questions for the midwife. I think one of them will be about colostrum. After Alice's comment to my last entry I looked through some of her entries, and couldn't find what she was referring to! Doh. But I noticed on about 28 weeks or so she had her colostrum start leaking. Me, I've had NO sign whatsoever. None. Nada. And I'm 3 weeks later than that! I'm sure it's one of those things that are different for every woman, but boy it would make me feel a hell of a lot better if I was to get something through at some point, just so I know things are looking positive. I do get the occasional cream coloured residue settling between the little dimples, that can be loosened and brushed away, but then I'm pretty sure I've been getting those foreverrr - since I was a teenager.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing if Robert is still head down, like he was at 28 weeks. It seems crazy soon for a baby to be head down, 28 weeks through. I'm pretty sure he is still, because I'm still feeling his little feet pressing up against the upper most part of my uterus. Oh, forgive me if I've already said this, but the other day, I was sitting on the sofa, and he started pressing his feet up firmly against my belly... I pressed down against them with my fingers quite firmly, and whereas at some point before he simply moved his feet away, this time, he kicked back at my fingers! Hehe. It was so sweet.

Oh, and I don't think I've been paying much attention to the fact he's probably been having noticeable hiccups lately... last night I felt it going on and paid attention to it, and yeah, can imagine those were definitely hiccups. That time aaaages ago I said he had hiccups, I think those were actually his first kicks I felt, not hiccups! But these were, and I'm pretty sure he's had them before, I've just not felt them, and then thought "ahh, they're the hiccups." But they definitely weren't kicks, definitely weren't punches, just a sensation within my belly that felt like when you've done a lot of exercise and your muscles ping away for a while as they rest.

Anyway, should go and get some breakfast now, hopefully repeating "there is no pain there is no pain" will help, I think it helped a tiny bit when I had to climb back up the stairs etc yesterday. Will speak to Beverley (the midwife) about it tomorrow and see if there's anything she recommends. Will prepare myself incase she'll want to take a look "down there" as well.

Hope you're all ok, oh! And happy birthday to Becca!

31 weeks 2 days - weekend ramblings for the most part

31 weeks! (and 2 days) I can't believe how close it's getting already. These past 7 months, oddly, have gone by so fast, and yet so slow. If that makes sense! In that it feels like time has whizzed by since I was 12 weeks pregnant and seeing Robert on that scan monitor for the first time, and yet it does feel like I've been pregnant forever. And yes, wow, it is exactly 2 months until my EDD!

This weekend has been a little hectic. Friday, Jonathan came home early from work, due to his flexitime scheme. Later in the evening I got all hormonal and weepy because I couldn't remember the last time he told me I was beautiful. So he sat down with me and hugged me and told me that he did think I was beautiful, even if he hadn't said it a lot lately. And he did also put his foot in it with something he said, but I decided not to dwell on it too much and put it down to him not thinking about what he was saying. But overall I did feel better and was glad he came over and was with me and gave me the affection I felt I really needed. And I think to be honest it was the first time I got overly weepy and hormonal so far, I think I've actually been pretty good, apart from crying easier at sitcoms and romcoms. (like crying when Chandler beat Mike at table tennis in Burmuda when Monica hurt her hand - wtf is up with that?? lol)

Anyway, Saturday we went to Aylesbury to do more stuff with the flat. We got there for just about 9am, because the carpet fitters were coming to do the hallway carpet (the red and yellow flowery carpet didn't really go too well with the lilac walls we did a few years ago). We also did some cleaning. I didnt actually do a lot, I'm finding it hard to stoop and lean over as much now. I did the insides of a few cupboards, emptying one that was full of cat food, cleaning products, etc. Then I cleaned the salloon style kitchen doors as they were so dusty it was crazy. Jonathan scrubbed the floor in the living room, which had got paint splatters all over it while we were decorating. Then after the carpet fitters had gone, we cleared out all the junky furniture in the bedroom - a hand-me-down bookcase which was falling to bits, a hand-me-down sky blue chest of drawers which was still ok but meh, was old and dated, and a hand-me-down desk type thing that we used for a bedside table. Took them downstairs, Jonathan demolished them, and then we loaded up the car with old scraps of furniture and also the old carpet from the hall, and some old rugs which we didn't want anymore. Went down to the tip, and were expecting to sit in a queue for about half an hour as usual, but it was almost completely empty, went straight into the tip, just sat waiting for someone to leave for their space, and we were in! When we got back, we loaded up the car with all the rest of the boxes from the loft (how on EARTH did we manage to fit so much crap into our tiny one bedroom flat???), which literally did fill the entire car, but now we know, we have everything at the new house! I took a nap on the sofabed (last thing that'll need to go down the tip), and we finally left Aylesbury around the time we usually ARRIVE there to do stuff in the flat - around 2pm.

Yesterday, J was going to do his finances, but I was beginning to get desperate for some new maternity clothes - the trousers I've literally lived in for the last 7 months have got holes in, paint stains on, and despite my best efforts to keep them clean (and find something else I can wear while they are washing and drying) are a little smelly. :S So we went into Milton Keynes to do some shopping. J is getting a little antsy about the amount of money we have spent since moving - apparently we've not had a single month where his salary has paid off all the bills and his credit card bill.. eeep. What with all the new furniture we've needed, and so on.

But anyway, we still have quite a lot of vouchers to spend, we had about £50 for Marks and Spencer, which we successfully spend on some maternity wear for me - a pair of 3/4 length trouser/jeans things - a little snug around the thighs, and only a tiny bit of room growth left, but if I scrunch them under my bump it'll be fine. Also a looooooverly stretchy blue 3/4 length sleeved top, which goes alllll the way over my bump and then some, and is soooo flattering! And then a black cardi thing (apparently maternity! But doesn't seem very fitted) which will be great in the winter over some little tank tops I have which would otherwise bare my belly! Haha.

We also had £20 in Woolworth vouchers, so we mooched around there to see what we could spend, and decided on 6 ceramic pebble-shaped placemats for our new table. Which came to £21 but was cool. They were quite heavy and J was moaning for most of the rest of the shopping trip! (We got them first lol) Although bless him, he didn't moan constantly, just every now and then ;)

We did look around John Lewis for maternity wear, but they didn't do any. We had quite a hefty amount of vouchers to spend there, but no luck. However, they have a HUGE baby section! And I spent a little while in there cooing over the gorgeous little dungarees and suits and other boy clothes. Hehe!

Finally I said to J, I really wanted some new trousers like the ones I have at the moment, but without holes (haha), so we we went to Mothercare. Now if anyone has been to MK shopping center before you will know that Marks and Spencer, John Lewis, and Mothercare are all over the damn place, and it's friggin huge. I went to the loo in JL, but for some reason, I've been peeing LOADS the last few days, and by the time we were walking to Mothercare, I kept feeling my bladder getting squashed, and it was getting increasingly uncomfortable, but I knew that when I went, all that would come out would be the tiniest trickle and I'd still feel like I'd need to go about half hour later. So I just dealt with the discomfort. By the time we got to Mothercare, I was feeling exhausted, and then my bump started to feel uncomfortable, and odd... in a way I can't really describe now. I kept having to stop and put my hand on it. I was wondering if I was getting Braxton Hicks contractions, but then they felt nothing like the plain "tightening" sensation I've had before that could have been BH. So I'm a little confused. Anyway, we looked around Mothercare for another pair of trousers identical to the ones I had on, but no luck. Took some other "lounge" trousers to try on, but they were both like leggings, and not at all what I wanted. (Severely unflattering for a start!!!) I found a top that looked like it would look nice, and tried it on, and it did. :D Then I asked J to go and find me a pair of trousers in 20 long if he could, and he came back with some, I tried them on, and BINGO they were perfect! Although I could see them being waaaay too loose around the belly if I'd bought them a few months ago, because on their "tightest" setting, they fit me PERFECTLY now! And there's still tonnes of growth room left in them! Zips down the sides, with stretchy material between. Right now they fit great with the zips closed. And sooo flattering, it makes my bump look great! Anyway, we went to pay for the nice black top and the trousers, and the lady spent ages putting them through, there was some problem or other. Which wasn't great as I was still feeling iffy, and in the end, put the bags I was holding down, and leant forward onto the huge pile of boxed up trikes by the till, which made me feel a little better.

There are still a few things I want to get - which we didn't have time for, like new pillows (our ones are gross - really disgusting), maybe some matching coasters for our new tablemats, and there was something else which has completely flown out of my mind in the last 3 minutes. Doh. ;)

Anyway I know this entry has been long and rambly, and for the most part not about pregnancy, so well done if you've managed to read it all! Hehe. I had some odd dreams last night, oddly not about you know what, like usual, but instead the main bit was about us being in Church, winning £95,000 while we were in there, and then coming out to find our car (along with most of the others in the carpark) completely gutted - emptied of EVERYTHING of value, including windows (lol) and seatbelts. But I also remember being excited (in a different dream, unrelated to the church/car thing) that Alice was pregnant at the same time as me. Not that she knows yet, maybe it's a sign that she is? Who knows! The signs look promising. Although if she isn't, and her period comes afterall, I know I'll be disappointed, but eagerly awaiting the next month's updates! Hehehe.

Hope you're all okay chickies xx

30 weeks 5 days - an easing up of discomfort finally??

For the first time in goodness knows how long, I've got up in the morning without having to clutch the side of the cotbed, and hobble along to the bathroom until my back pain eases. Which makes me VERY happy! :) It makes such a change to be able to turn in bed without having to wake myself up, steel myself for an excrutiating pain in my lower back/pelvis, and then flip myself over while gritting my teeth. I hope this continues! I suppose I should have really told Beverley (my midwife) about this before, as it has been going on a while, but I think I'm generally the kind of person who plays down things like that. Well, I'll gripe and moan about it to whoever'll listen, except people in the medical profession. And especially when it comes to pregnancy related stuff, I tend to think "well, there's no point making a big fuss over some stuff, since most pregnant women get it anyway". Although with the heartburn, something that actually keeps me awake for several hours if left untreated because I was in pain is not something I could tolerate!

Anyway, Robert's movements have died down a little in bed now, but he is still fairly active. Yesterday I watched for ages as he pummelled and wriggled around in there. I do get rather confused sometimes about where he is lying from where I feel kicks from. I can only assume that some of them are actually punches rather than kicks. He is also making it increasingly harder for me to sit at the PC for extended periods of time, with kicks not quite at my ribs, but nearly up there, and wriggling in such a way that makes it uncomfortable to stay in a sitting position for much longer.

Today apparently, someone from argos is coming around with a new table top, to replace the scratched leaf panel from the table. Which is great, although judging by the last time of delivery, they won't be here until gone the end time on the limit we were given, so gone 6pm. Still, it's a lovely day today, so I'm taking the opportunity to get some washing out to dry in the lovely weather. And also changing the duvet covers and sheets, which I should have done last week due to the cat being *ahem* ill, but never got round to. That's something else that doesn't get done very often around here, but meh...

Anyway, hope the weather is nice where you're reading from too, and have fun!

30 weeks 3 days - our own dining furniture! And quieter kicks from Robert - growth spurt?

Ooooh! Hello again! Last night we had our very first meal at our OWN table! Squeeee! I can't believe how good it feels to have our very own dining furniture. It feels so.... adult(!) of us. After 6 years of dinners on lap trays! The chairs were a lot more difficult to put together than the table, as the top came ready made and we only had to screw in the four legs and it was done. Whereas the chairs had a lot more bits to be screwed together, and then the seat screwed on, etc etc.

The only thing I'm a bit disappointed about is that on one of the pull out leaves (yep, extending table!), there's a big scratch :( It was obviously made during manufacture or something like that, as there is nothing for it to catch on when it gets pulled out. Which means that we're going to have to phone up and get either the leaf or the whole table replaced. :(

But apart from that I'm so chuffed with it! It's square when it's not extended, and big enough for 4 people just about, and extended, big enough for 6. Until we get the garage converted, it will live at the bottom of the stairs in the living room, and it fits fine there. :) If we want 4 or 6 people round though we'll have to shuffle furniture around to pull it out.

Robert's kicks seem to have died down a bit over the past day or so. Last night his kicks were there, but seemed a lot softer than usual, the same as his day kicks. Although, the kicks during the day (or seemingly lack thereof) could have been attributed to me putting together some of the dining chairs.

I've had two fairly decent nights sleep now without heartburn. Friday and Saturday nights I was up with heartburn, but it seems to have subsided again. Which means that my sleep is less interrupted which can only be good.

I can't believe it's almost TWO months until my EDD. As the time gets nearer and nearer I get more excited, more scared (in a good way!), and just wow - I can't believe how soon it is before my life will completely change. I suppose at some point soon I should probably tell the next door neighbours that we're having a baby, seeing as we share a wall!

30 weeks 2 days - weekend news, mum's response re. labour, and painful pelvis kicks!

Our dining set is arriving today! I'm so excited about it! :) Lap trays which we have been eating off of for ooooh - 6 years now - are getting too uncomfortable for me. My bump is getting to the stage where I have to lean right over my tray because it sits so far forward on my lap now, that my back hurts.

Yesterday we invited Jonathan's parents over for a roast dinner, and they brought Barbara with them. Barbara is a friend of Jonathan's late paternal grandma, who while she was alive lived next door to his parents, and Barbara lives in the same village. Now Barbara has lost her husband, she is getting more company for lunches, and she's a lovely woman, and I enjoy seeing her. She's almost like a surrogate grandma for Jonathan. Anyway it was going to be another lunch on the laptrays, but the weather gods decided to be kind, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous! So we decided to eat outside on our garden furniture instead. The meal, despite the fact we had to get a new roast joint from Tesco in the morning, was delicious, and I think we did really well. :)

Afterwards we came and sat back indoors, and Robert, who had clearly enjoyed his meal of roast beef, potatoes veg and yorkshire puddings, with mango ice cream as dessert, decided to start kicking and squirming away merrily in there! I asked Betsy if she'd like to feel her grandson kicking, and she came over. Of course, as he usually does, as soon as someone else comes over to feel a kick he will stop, but he did give her a fairly big wriggle in the end! She seemed quite pleased about it, obviously not wanting to ask me herself. Barbara also tried feeling for a kick but he was less co-operative for her, and although he did do a little wriggle, she didn't feel it. But it was an extremely pleasant day over-all, even if I did end up feeling rather washed out by the end.

Oh, also I forgot to mention, I talked to my mum regarding the labour and granny dash situation, and as I expected she was completely understanding about it, and said that whatever we wanted to do she would respect that and just go along with it, and all she wanted to do was get a chance to see Robert as soon as possible after he was born, and have a cuddle. She said if that meant us waiting until just after he was born to let her know then fair enough, or her waiting in the car or downstairs, etc. (although we will probably be doing it downstairs where there will be more freedom of movement) So yes, all in all a good conversation. I expect that Steve and Betsy will also want to come along as soon as possible when Robert is born, and it's not such a long journey for them, which is good.

It seems quite scary that although I'm only 30 weeks, I feel it could happen any day! Well not literally, but I think - it COULD happen in 5-6 weeks! Or if not, 8 weeks. But then it could be as far as 12 weeks. There is still so much to do, so much to sort out. I need to get a hospital bag sorted out (just in case I do have to go into hospital), I need to get the spare room sorted, nappies sorted, a million and one other things I probably haven't thought about sorted. It feels a little like when I was in school and I'd always leave homework til the last evening before it was due in, even though for the entire week I'd be thinking "I should really do my homework now so I don't have to worry about it". Only this time, I don't KNOW when exactly the 'homework' is due!

Anyway. Before I wrap up this entry, one last little tidbit. As I crawled into bed at about 10.30pm last night, and laid down to sleep, of course Robert decided this meant it was playtime. Now he doesn't kick the front of my belly it seems anymore at night, but instead goes for the sides of my belly, usually the side right by the bed. He chooses this moment, as he did last night, at LEAST twice (possibly three times) to kick my pelvis really hard that it made me jump. Yee-ouch! I ended up turning over to lay on my back in the hopes it would stop him carrying on, or at least make it not quite so intense if he did! But what a little monkey!

Right, better be going now, the window frame I got given for delivery of the table and chairs were 10am-2pm, which it has now crossed over into, so I need to be ready to go answer the door. :)

Have a great day everyone!

30 weeks (wow!) - labour thoughts, and other stuff.

Well girls (and maybe even guys? who knows! ;) ) I am now three quarters of my way through pregnancy. Thirty weeks today! Before I go on I want to thank Sarah, Alice and Leigh for their comments on my last entry, I cannot begin to say how much better it makes me feel that it is possible to be inherently lazy but still be a good mum with it. Armed with that knowledge, and the fear release from Hypnobirthing, hopefully I'll be able to put it all behind me.

I have been reading through the Hypnobirthing book we got given on our first session (finally!), and that, combined with the research I've been doing on the internet makes me think that I really would like to do a homebirth. There's no reason why I should sit back and go along with what the midwives think based purely on the "it's your first baby" argument. Besides which, I will be most comfortable here I think, as long as I organise ahead of time any equipment I will want - birth ball perhaps, maybe think about hiring a birthing pool.

There was one thing though that made me think from reading the book regarding a home birth, and personal situation, which will need to be resolved ahead of time, and probably in the coming few weeks. That is that my Mum would like to do a "Granny Dash" as she called it when my SIL gave birth last November. The only difference being that SIL gave birth in a hospital, and probably didn't have to deal with my mum until after Ewan had been born. (probably waited outside or with SIL's parents, or something) If we have a home birth, and she comes up on her Granny Dash as soon as she finds out I'm in labour, she most likely will be here before Robert is born, and I don't really know what to think about that or what we will do with regards to that. I talked to Jonathan about it in bed this morning, and both of us are thinking that we probably wouldn't want my mum in with us while I am labouring, although my main concern is that she might be trying to mother me too much during labour and cause me to lose my concentration and relaxation, that or generally be too "present". So I think I will need to talk to her to find out exactly what she is planning on doing, and tell her what we're thinking of, and so on, and use the information we get to make a decision as to perhaps when to call her, or whatever. If we decide in the end that we don't want her HERE before Robert is born, then we will probably see about calling her fairly late on in the labour. I will probably talk to her about it all anyway, so she knows our position and I know she will respect whatever we decide. And I know she will do her best to honour our wishes with regards to it.

Part of me though wants her there, because I feel so confident in my mind that I will be able to birth Robert comfortably, I want her to see it for herself. I think she was one of those people who thought "Hah, childbirth without pain? Yeah right, dream on" until I showed her that youtube video I posted on here a few weeks back (but via MSN), and she was like "Hmm, yeah my experiences of childbirth were nothing like that." And now I get the feeling she's of the mindset that "well, if this hypnobirthing thing works for Nicola I'll be pleased for her". My dad, who is a biologist, is also very sceptical. I tried explaining it to him, and he seemed very set in his beliefs that childbirth cannot be comfortable ever. I even tried comparing it to other animals' birthings, and how we are the only ones who seem to be "flawed" in that we cannot give birth comfortably, whereas the rest of the animal kingdom can give birth without excruciating pain. And still, it went over his head completely. Still, I know what I've learned, I've seen now goodness knows how many birth videos of people having comfortable births with no pain. I just now have a lot of revision (read practise!) before the final exam. Hehe.

Anyway, last night I didn't get a lot of sleep, I had bad heartburn and should have got up and taken some gaviscon a lot earlier than I did, because I was drifting in and out of sleep for goodness knows how long, until I got up around 4.30am, took some gaviscon and stayed up about 45 minutes to let it settle down a bit, and then went back to bed and had some solid sleep. But I felt really knackered this morning, and still feel a little sleepy truth be told. We were planning on heading to Aylesbury again today but I just don't feel up to the long travel (hour each way) and then cleaning, grabbing boxes from the loft, bleugh and so on. Plus I'm getting a lot bigger and feeling more "full of baby" than ever, and things are just so much more of a chore than they used to be. So Jonathan has gone to Aylesbury alone, but he phoned up his dad, and asked if he could come and help him get the carpet in the hallway up, and get things out of the loft, and tomorrow we're going to treat them to a roast dinner for all the help they've given us in the flat. Only I took out the joint of beef we had in the freezer - and it says it serves 2-3 people only :( And there'll be 5 of us there, which is a bit of a stretch, I thought it was a 3-4 people roast at least. So I might head into town in a little while and see if the small tesco has a roast join in it, if not, there's a newly opened "tesco rival" kind of shop. And failing that, telling Jonathan to pop into the Wellingborough tesco or the Aylesbury tesco on his way home and pick up a bigger one.

Unfortunately the table we've ordered from Argos isn't going to be arriving until Monday (doh!) so it'll be lap trays for the 5 of us. I am so glad this table is arriving soon though - I really am getting too big for lap trays. Although I think it's a flat packed jobbie again - unsurprisingly, as every bit of furniture we've bought since we've moved, apart from the sofas of course, have been flat packed!

Anyway I'll sign off here - oh before I do, I should let you know the cat appears to be better. The vet gave her an inflammitory injection which appears to have helped, she seems to have kept all of her food down now since we took her on Thursday afternoon. I hope you're all well, and look forward to seeing your names in red (those that I have anyway!).

29 weeks 5 days - cat is still sick, fears about motherhood

Ho hum, Hazel is still sick. Total count now since yesterday is 3 piles in the living room, 2 piles on the duvet (one either side), 2 piles under the cotbed, and 2 piles at the foot of the bed on the carpet from where she's thrown up over the edge of the bed. I've booked an appointment for her at the vet this afternoon, since the Katalax hasn't seemed to have worked, and it wasn't an iffy can of food (fresh tin this morning despite her only having one bowlful out of the one yesterday - unless the whole BATCH of catfood is off!).

Poor mite, she was meowing round me all yesterday, obviously starving but then she'd just throw it all up again. She's spent quite a while in the spare room under the chairs in there, which is unlike her, so she does seem slightly more ill than last time she was throwing up, she'd act fine again, and it turned out it was just a huge hairball stuck in her throat which was making it difficult to eat anything. I know this isn't "baby" related, but it's still hard on me. I hope it means I'll be a good mum when Robert gets here, that I'll be patient and understanding, and not getting myself into a complete tizz whenever anything bad happens.

I do have a lot of fears about my ability as a parent. I know it's normal, and that every new mum feels that way, but I really do... I am an incredibly lazy person. I usually let the washing up build until there's no more clean stuff in the cupboards. I don't do loads of washing until it's absolutely necessary. I sometimes only have a bath or shower only once a week (washes inbetween with a flannel).

I fear for my ability to cope with a tiny screaming baby, with the lack of sleep, the constant nappy changes, clothes changes, constant washing loads being done and then no means to have them all dry in time (no tumble dryer!). I fear for my ability to breastfeed. I have watched lots of youtube videos detailing how to latch a baby onto the breast to feed. But what if I don't have enough milk? What if it never comes in? My mum never had enough milk for my brother.

I know I will love my little Robbie so much, I already do. I just hope that my love for him will spur me on to do the things I need to do in order to be the best mum possible for him.

And part of what scares me most is whether Jonathan thinks I will be a good mum or not. If I was ever to find out that he thought I wouldn't be a good mum, it would crush me.

There was a bit in our Hypnobirthing about releasing fears, not only about childbirth, but also anything to do with the baby, and parenthood. Because if you hold onto fears about this sort of thing, it can cause you to be frightened and tense during labour - sort of a natural delaying system "oh no, when I have this baby I will be a parent" (and not only that, but a lingering fear of death or complication can do the same thing) and so the body shuts down and makes labour more slow, and difficult (and therefore painful). There was an exercise she did with us to help us release our fears, through relaxation, I should probably try and practise that more and more. Become comfortable with my abilities. If I have the confidence within myself that I will be a good mother, and if I see myself being a good mother, I will be more likely to BE a good mother. And if I try and do the same with my fears over breastfeeding - it might work as well.

I try to invision myself having a comfortable birth, and in my mind's eye, I can see it working. I can do it. I was reading through the Hypnobirthing book we got given, and I got to the part about visualisation, and how during the surges (contractions), one woman visualised waves on a beach as she was breathing through them. And as soon as I read about that, something just clicked inside me, and I think that's the perfect visualisation for it.

I think I am getting quite good at self hypnotising. Yesterday I laid down and listened to the rainbow relaxation CD we got given, and part of me felt like I had fallen asleep, I don't know if I fell asleep or if I was just so deeply in relaxation I didn't hear huge chunks of the hypnotic suggestions. Apparently it can seem to you like you've fallen asleep, but can still be in hypnosis. This is a little confusing to me truth be told, but I think it's definitely going the right way - once I listened to it and hearing the words made me more alert, and I felt I had to listen to them all. So to fall asleep to them (if that's what happened) is a step in the right direction. I will practise more today, and maybe try the fear release exercise some more.

I will sign off now, just after I let you know that I think my little Robbie is in a playful mood at the moment, I felt what I think is his foot again against my belly button, and as I pressed a couple of fingers against it, I felt it move a little. :) I'm so glad I'm not too fat to be able to feel his movements like that. :)

29 weeks 4 days - not such a good day - Hazel is sick.

Urgh. I know I've been trying to focus on the positives of pregnancy, and not dwell on the negatives too much, but today I'm just feeling completely "bleugh" from everything - the pain whenever I get up from laying down for a while (and every morning it's bad but I let it try not to let it get me down) in my lower back and bottom, the issues I have trying to roll over in bed, with afore mentioned pain, the heartburn I am now getting regularly during the day and not just in the middle of the night from laying down.

Today also my left leg has been so achy for some reason, and I have also been armed with kitchen roll and carpet stain remover practically all day - because the cat has decided (okok that's horrible, she didn't decide, she just is) to be sick. Three times. In six separate places. One of which was on the duvet. Which I really can't be bothered to change today because I feel so tired. Instead I just gave it a thorough scrub with the carpet and upholstery stain remover/cleaner. I'm not giving her any more meat today, and will see how she is with just the iams biscuits we have left for her in her bowl. She's brought up everything she's eaten today so far, so best not to give her any more meat for now. I've also smeared a little Katalax on her paws, incase the reason for her being sick is hairballs.

I guess it's good practise for when Robert arrives. But still, just feel like crap today, and finding it hard to notice let alone appreciate Robert's little squirms. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. Unless Hazel is still sick. In which case I'll ring up the vets to make an appointment (3rd vet appointment in 2 months - lucky her).

Brother's birthday is in 5 days - should really make sure to send a card out to him this weekend. That was more a note to self sort of thing, hopefully writing it down will help me remember easier.

Hope you're all ok. TTFN.

29 weeks 3 days - wriggly Robert sausage

Last night in bed, as I was trying to get comfortable, my right side of my bump and a little under it started to really hurt, almost in the fashion where you pull a muscle. I put my maternity pillow in place, but it still hurt, so I turned over and tried it on the other side. For a while it still stung badly. I was groaning a lot and Jonathan was getting quite concerned. But to me it did feel like just the muscles of the uterus perhaps, it didn't feel any deeper than that. But I stayed on my left side for a while, and I could feel the pain start to fade away, but at the same time, up started a little WRIGGLE MONSTER!

Oh my gosh he wriggled for Britain in there! It felt to me like it was all on my left hand side, near my pelvis. I told Jonathan that Robert was wriggling, and he leant over and put a hand on my bump (the top right hand side), and I was absolutely amazed that he could feel the wriggles even on the entirely opposite side of the bump! When Jonathan took his hand away to go to sleep, I put my hand up onto my right hand side (literally as far right as I could put my hand before my uterus met my hip), and Robert started squirming and poking against my hand SO hard, it really surprised me! I kept saying "Oooooh! Oh my gosh! Wow!" and Jonathan kept asking me if I was alright, which of course I was but wow - the force of his wriggles and pokes then were amazing... I could feel my skin reach up into the crevice in my hand (the palm) with his little pokes. I was just absolutely awe-struck by them. How is my little man getting so strong??

I am so happy that I get to experience this. It really does make all the years I waited, wanted, wished for it to happen worthwhile. There really is no denying that our own little family is about to expand when I feel those wonderful movements. *happy sigh* :)

29 weeks 2 days - flat update, fewer kicks from Robert

Thought I'd better update before people start to get worried about my whereabouts again!

We spent the weekend in Aylesbury, finishing off some bits there. Mainly what's left to do now is cleaning, getting rid of rubbish furniture (old bookcase, very worn sofa bed with its stuffing coming out of it and scratches from the cat all over the arms, desk, etc), getting all our stuff down from the loft and taking it back to our new house. We've looked around for a new hallway and stairs carpet, since the old one is reddish/orange and flowery, and the hall is now painted lilac! So we've been to a carpet selling place who have now measured up and taken our money (!) and now we're waiting on them to get the carpet in stock ready to arrange a delivery and fitting date. It's one of the big UK chains though so I'm sure there'll be no problem there regarding the fact they've taken our money before they even have the carpet in stock! It didn't cost too much really, considering it's an awkward shape (sort of a T shape on the hallway and then the stairs coming off the top left section of the T), because we already had underlay and grippers down, which saved a huge bulk of money.

The bathroom and bathroom suite look AMAZING! I have NO idea what my mother-in-law did to the toilet bowl to get all that caked on limescale that was around the water rim off. I scrubbed at it for AGES with a scourer with no luck whatsoever, (well, a little luck but still not a lot) but succeeded on leaving a grey residue all over the porcelain from the scourer. Somehow she's got all the limescale off, and the grey residue which I thought was actually me wearing the colour off of the porcelain, has gone, leaving a perfectly pink (yes pink lol) toilet bowl!

I tackled the kitchen this weekend - cleaning all the cupboards inside and out (except for the ones that had things inside, then I just did the doors), and yesterday I did the cooker. Now the cooker was a thing that we got second hand from someone - can't remember who, but I remember my brother bringing it over in a van, and the two of us struggling to get it up the stairs!!! Anyway, it was FILTHY. When I say filthy I mean it. There was caked on grease and dust combined on the top of the cooker panel (splash back with buttons). The buttons for the grill/oven/hobs themselves had caked on grease (mainly from fingers - ewww!), under the hob there was caked on god-knows-what with dust. And the sides were caked with splashes from food that had dribbled down the sides. And that's not even going into the state of the INSIDE of the grill and oven. Anyway, yesterday I managed to get the cooker to actually look like it was brand new (sort of!) using neat all-purpose cleaner on some bits of it, and oven cleaner on other bits. Next time we go down there (probably next weekend bleugh), I'll do inside the oven and grill, although that's not so essential seeing as very few people will look inside a cooker that's obviously not built into the kitchen and may end up going! (but hopefully will end up staying - less hassle for us)

Robert's kicks lately seem to have subsided lately. I am still getting some every day, but they seem a lot fewer in general, and fewer BIG kicks. I am putting this down to possibly another growth spurt, and possibly the actual SIZE of him now means he might have less room in there already. He's now around 2.5lbs, and about 15 inches long. (although maybe with Robert he may be more like 16 inches!) I'm well and truely into the third trimester now.

Something new I want to document here is that last night for the first time I actually felt one of Robert's feet! I felt him giving me a few little jabs just a little way above my belly button last night while we were watching a movie, and I felt around with my finger tips, pressing in a bit where he was jabbing, and felt a resistance on only a tiny certain part of my belly, which receeded when I poked it a bit, and then came back again! (accompanied with aforementioned jabs from within!) It was so precious and lovely, I said to Jonathan that I could feel Robert's foot, and he said "how do you know?" and well - I don't know how I knew, I just did! I replied with something like "Because I can FEEL it!" Hehe.

I also feel lately that he likes to start jabbing away at night now when I go to bed - particularly on the side of my belly that's on the bed, which when the kicks are hard can feel VERY uncomfortable! Luckily the ones he was doing last night weren't very hard, but I'm sure if I could see my belly it would have been wobbling away again!

Anyway I'll leave the entry here for today. I hope you're all well, and I thank you again for reading! x

28 weeks 4 days - blood tests and midwife

To avoid spamming entries, I thought I'd write about yesterday in with today. I had my blood test appointment yesterday, and when I went at 8 weeks, for my initial blood test, she had trouble finding a vein in my left arm, so she did my right and it was fine. So I told this to the woman taking my blood, and she went for my right arm, but apparently that arm didn't have much blood in it - she could only fill a tube and a half (out of 3) from that arm, and she threw the half tube away... So she spent the next few minutes prodding my left arm with her finger trying to find a vein, and eventually found one, and luckily that one proved more fruitful (although it meant that yet again I was coming home with two puncture wounds :( ah well), and she got the remaining two tubes filled, then decided to top up the first, and then decided to do an entire new one incase the first one wasn't good enough (sigh). So I ended up having practically 5 tubes of blood taken when they only needed 3.

Then, as I walked out of the surgery, I felt that my right sandle wasn't feeling as secure as it usually did - and realised that one of the straps had come loose. :( My favourite sandles! :( I ended up walking home with a sandle strap flapping away. My right arm was sore for the next few hours, although the left was ok.

Anyway, today, I totally forgot about doing the urine sample for the midwife, and only just remembered as I stood up from the toilet about 20 minutes before the appointment! Argh! So I hurriedly drank a glass of water, fetched my urine bottle, and got as much as I could with a freshly emptied bladder. Didn't manage to get much, but thought I may as well take what I managed, and see if she can still use it. Then as I walked down the stairs (in some different sandles due to my usual ones being broken), I slipped, and bounced painfully down several stairs on my back/bottom, in the process, breaking the NEW sandles! So off I went to find a third pair of sandles that I could wear to the surgery, pack my tiny bit of wee into my bag, find my keys (Jonathan keeps hiding them every evening after using them to lock the front and back doors), and head out at about 5 minutes before my appointment.

Luckily I wasn't late, she was still seeing someone before I got there. She could use the tiny sample I got her which was good, and again, no abnormalities, no problems of any kind with urine, BP, Robert's heartbeat, and so on. She felt my belly and told me that Robert was lying head down, with his back along my left hand side, and his feet up on the right hand side, which actually sounds about right from the few kicks I'd been getting before I headed out ;)

I forgot to ask her about the painful gas I've been having recently, but I'm sure I can google it. But I did ask her about if she had any homebirthing information packs. The last time I muttered the "H" word, she frowned and looked all weirdly at me, before telling me it wasn't advisable for the first baby. This time I said "I know that you don't think it's advisable for the first baby, but from what I have been told it is my decision, and I would like to be fully informed of all my choices." And this time she didn't poo-pooh it, but said "okay, well we don't have an information pack per-se, but what we do is if at 34-36 weeks you've had no complications, I would come out to see you and your husband, and we'll discuss what you need to do, what would happen if there was something wrong, and so on" And she wrote in my notes that I was considering a home birth.

So now, once we have all the information, if I decide to go for the home birth, all I need to do is persuade Jonathan it's the best idea too! ;) He is still a bit iffy on the matter, but I think it's because he's so concerned about "what if" there's a problem where we need to go to hospital, and such. At one of the hypnobirthing sessions we went to, we were told that with an experienced midwife, they can tell LONG before that something isn't right, and can get you to the hospital in time easily.

There's such a lot to do and think about, but I'm sure it'll all get done in time. Anyway, I'd best get going now, I could do with some lunch really. Hope you're all well, and thanks for reading. xx

28 weeks 2 days - BIG HAIR!

Thank you everyone for your comments on my baby bump! I think you must have all somehow picked up on my insecurity regarding weight and bump size etc and all your comments were lovely! Just what I needed!

This isn't going to be a long entry, but I figured you might be interested for more photos! Not of baby bump this time, but well, of a "hair experiment". ;) When I got my hair cut, the hairdresser told me how she saw the natural curl in my hair, and that to save time instead of blowdrying and straightening it, I could use the diffuser on my hairdryer, tip my head upside down, and dry my hair like that, which should take less time (good for when Robert arrives!), and still look good, as well as taking advantage of my natural curl (well, I thought my hair was simply wavy, not curly, but well, you know).

Anyway, I did it today after my shower, and by the time I'd finished I looked at myself, and burst out laughing! My hair was SOOOOO big! I got dressed and took some photos but I think the "bigness" died down a little and now I think hmmm... not bad! But yeah here are some pictures of it - tell me what you think! *giggles*