Saturday 21 June 2008

17 weeks 6 days - a friend's miscarriage, another friend's pregnancy

I'm quite sad... someone who I knew online miscarried her baby at around 8 weeks pregnant. I may have mentioned her in a previous post, it's a girl who's in the same guild as me in the online game I play every now and then. Her boyfriend is in the guild too, and he's the one who let us know. I feared the worst when he said he wouldn't be coming online because he'd just come back from the hospital "for personal reasons". She was due around the end of January. Her boyfriend said she'd had some bleeding, and it got worse, so they had a scan which showed the baby's heart had stopped beating.

Urgh. I can only imagine what they are going through. I hope I only have to imagine what they are going through. It wasn't planned, apparently, but they were so happy and excited about it. She'd even bought some little socks for the baby. Part of me is worried about how I will appear to them now as well. Because my pregnancy is going well, no problems so far (touch wood). I posted on a forum to let people in my guild know J and I were expecting, and I just feel glad now in a way that my next scan is so far away (another 4 weeks), as it will give them hopefully a bit of time to heal before I share news of the scan. I feel guilty in a way that I'm still pregnant. Which is stupid I know, because I know that although hearing things about someone else's healthy pregnancy would upset me if I was in their shoes, I know that no-one, no matter their feelings or how upset they are, or even resentful would ever EVER want someone to lose their baby. For me I will just try and be sensitive towards their loss, and not mention my pregnancy at all that I can help. It's the best I can do right now.

I guess though in other news, slightly more cheerful, Jonathan's best friend since they were kids (and also his best man), Paul is also going to be a dad. His wife Vikki is expecting their first child around Christmas, they've had their 12 week scan. I'm quite excited about it, although she seems quite down to earth and not at all as over the top excited as I was. But even so, they live in Northampton, only about 20-30 minutes drive away, so it might be quite nice to have them as playmates when they're little :) And it's entirely possible for them to be born around the same time, if I'm 2 weeks late and she's 2 weeks early... ;) Although she'll probably be going to Northampton hospital, whereas I'm going to Kettering.

Anyway, I hope you're all well. Thanks for reading. Will update the belly gallery tomorrow sometime, as well as cot-shopping news. xx

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