Thursday, 24 April 2008

9 weeks 5 days - feeling better

I've been struggling a bit with the feeling of sickness the past few days - not actually BEING sick, but definitely the feeling. And a few times I've even gagged. :( I asked Jonathan if he could bring me up a cup of tea before he left for work in the morning, and it seemed to help loads :) Surprising though that I managed to drink it before it got cold - I do love my lie-ins, and tend to fall asleep again for a while after he leaves for work - doh! ;)

I had my blood test done yesterday to check my blood type, rhesus, and anemia/HIV/rubella etc. Only I forgot my hand held notes and had to walk all the way back home for them in the pouring rain :( Luckily I was fitted in again, and was back home after the jabs less than an hour after my proper appointment - which means the walk there can't be more than 15 minutes - probably about 10 minutes or so.

On Saturday I will be TEN WEEKS pregnant. That's a quarter of the way through! I wish I knew what being pregnant was already like - it's so hard to tell whether things are going as normal, and whether I get a "good" vibe or whether it's just something else. But I think I get a good vibe from this pregnancy. I still have no real inkling as to whether my little one is a boy or a girl. I think right now, I would love Chloe Anne just as much as I would love Robert Stephen :) The name Robert Stephen means a lot more to me personally than Chloe Anne - Robert being the little boy in the nursery who was just lovely and gorgeous and sooo affectionate, and Stephen being my brother and my father-in-law. Chloe is a very sweet name, but has no "special meaning" as such, but Anne is lovely as it is the name of Jonathan's grandmother, who died in 2003, a few days after his birthday. I'd only known her for a couple of years, but she was a lovely lady, and seeing her deteriorate in the manner she did before her death was devastating beyond words. It would be nice to carry on her legacy in a little girl - her great grand-daughter. Maybe I should suggest to Jonathan about possibly double-barreling her name, so her name is Chloe-Anne rather than Chloe. (One of my friends at school was called Lesley-Anne - people called her both Lesley and Lesley-Anne)

I'm sure that if Anne was alive today she'd be proud that Jonathan and I will be celebrating our three year wedding anniversary in two weeks time, it's such a shame she never saw us married. And I know she'd be proud and happy to know we're having a baby. The last thing she wanted when we saw her a couple of days before she died was to see us kiss. She couldn't ask us properly because her voice had deteriorated so badly, she had to motion with her hands what she wanted us to do. Goodness, it's so upsetting still to think about how she was in the weeks before she died, when I think about what she was like when she was well. We knew she was going to go soon when we visited her a couple of days before Jonathan's birthday - it goes to show her strength that she held on a few days longer so she didn't die on his birthday. Ack, here I go again, if she was here, she'd be telling me off for getting all upset about how she was. So I'll cheer up again so that when I see her again, hopefully in many years to come, she won't tell me off for being a miserable person lamenting on her death for so long! I am just glad I got to know her :)

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot more energetic today than I have been the last week or so, which is great, and also does wonders for how I feel I think. :)

My little one is now around just over an inch long! And his or her tail has finally disappeared. He or she is also no longer an embryo, but a fetus! I can't wait til I see you in a couple of weeks, little one.. and hear that you're in there and healthy and happy. xx

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