Thursday, 8 May 2008

11 weeks 5 days - worried - please Monday hurry up!

I am suddenly really NEEDING to go to this scan, not just to make it all real, and to see sausage for the first time, but to MAKE SURE s/he is still there, ok, heart beating. Some women lose their babies without bleeding! How am I supposed to know Sausage is still okay really? I've not been getting severe morning sickness - hardly any at all to be fair. I felt a little odd this morning, I just went and laid down for a while to resettle my stomach, but that might have been from last night's indian where I felt uncomfortably bloated (even without having eaten much). Maybe the lack of morning sickness means that little sausage hasn't been ok for weeks? Eugh, I know I'm just paranoid, and plenty of women who have little or no morning sickness have perfectly fine babies, and don't miscarry... I guess this is just normal first pregnancy nerves?

It is four days away. FOUR DAYS. It feels like yesterday since I was saying it was 10 days away. So I guess time must have flown. I am nervous incase we are late from lack of finding a parking space or something - they say if you are late you might not be able to be seen... I don't think I could deal with not having my scan done. I need to make sure we are there, I NEED to have this scan done. No doctor has actually confirmed my pregnancy! I have had urine checked for sugars, I have had blood tests done for rubella/HIV/blood type/rhesus (don't know the results yet), but no-one actually saying "yes you are pregnant". The tests are here and very very positive, but still, what if I lost it? It's been 4 weeks since I saw the midwife, and since I took a test (with the sample I took with me to test for sugars). It will be another 4 weeks until I see the midwife again. Do you actually have to ask the doctor to confirm your pregnancy these days? Did any of you feel the way I'm feeling in the run-up to your first scan with your first baby?

And breathe.... try and relax... everything will be okay... you will see your little sausage on Monday and hear the heart beat, and you will wonder why you were ever so worried about it all.

I hope.

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