Musements, a photo :)

Just a quick note to say, period's been and gone, bizarrely enough it was the shortest and lightest one I've had for months since I've given up the pill... The fact that stress made it late can't be a co-incidence. Anyway, we've started intercourse regularly now since I've no idea when I'll ovulate this month. (Something, which J is quite relishing lol - he says in a way he's glad I'm not already pregnant :P )

Thing is I've read that if the man has low sperm count, intercourse TOO regularly can be a bad thing (needs time between to get the sperm to a fertile amount) but we have no idea as to whether J has low or normal sperm count, so I guess we just keep doing it and see what happens.

Just trying to keep myself focused on moving right now - and not on whether or not I'll get pregnant. I don't want to get myself worked up like I did last month. So.... NO early testing, in fact, no testing at all until I'm a few days late for my period. Ideally, if I was to time my pregnancy, I'd like to become pregnant so I have a march - may baby, but I've been waiting so long, we're trying now... and hey, we might be waiting that long anyway. It takes some women months and months to conceive. But if we have a November or December baby, so be it :) I don't mind.

Also, something I realised recently which I was quite surprised at... I wouldn't MIND if I had a boy... I always thought how I'd love to have girls... and how disappointed I might be if on the day, I found out I was having a boy... but NOW... I feel happy, excited. It doesn't MATTER to me whether I have a boy or a girl. Although, I would like one of each at least. Although I think J is still warey about having more than 2 children. It seems that most marriages in our family have a maximum of two children... my uncle had 4, but with 2 wives, same as my step-mother's father... And Jonathan's family also, he has no cousins, his father was an only child and his maternal uncle doesn't have any children. The only family I know with 3 children is my step-mother's brother... he and his wife have twin girls, and a boy, about 17 months later.

Myself, I don't know how many children I would want. I don't know how I'll feel about pregnancy, how I'll feel about having babies, until I have one. And I know I want ONE. And I don't want my child to be an only child, so I'd want two. But after that... I don't know, I'll have to see how I feel. How well I think I would cope, whether two children will be "enough". There is an absolutely GORGEOUS picture of J with Ewan, my nephew, it made my heart swell.. I think in all of them I look gormless and bleugh... but this one....