More TTC thoughts, and more photos

It's amazing how much when you are TTC that you pay attention to what is going on "down there". Last month I had a 33 day cycle. Before Robert I was pretty much bang on 28 days. Anyway, so assuming 33 day cycle is regular, I should, according to the textbooks, be ovulating around cycle day 19. I am currently on cycle day 12, and today (more like late afternoon and evening) I have had two separate instances of egg-white consistency CM with a reddish tinge. Which suddenly got me thinking maybe it's ovulation... and then having thought that I have had the odd right-hand sided pains... But goodness knows if I am imagining it or not! Or if maybe the tinted CM is due to intercourse last night. I am wondering whether to go for it tonight as well or if yesterday's swimmers will be enough in case I AM ovulating? LOL.

Every cycle I keep thinking "If I do get pregnant this month, I'll be due on xyz". This month I thought it would be 30th August if I do get pregnant, but now I'm thinking if I am ovulating now it'll be more like 23rd-25th August. But I do keep getting ahead of myself! I did at one point think I'd be having a July 2nd baby, then a July 24th baby... so there's no point deliberating really, but I can't help myself lol.

But if I do get pregnant..... then when I give birth will make a lot of difference to my baby, between being the youngest in the year above at school or the oldest in the year below... And whether my babies will be 1 or 2 years apart in school.

Anyway, here's a few photos of Robert. :)

The boy LOVES his drinks... He will always guzzle a drink down like crazy, even if he's not thirsty. At which point he will suck loads into his mouth and then spit it out!!!



Having fun in a ball tent. MUST fix the inflatable one the cat burst over summer....


One of me with my cheeky chappy :)


Daddy is out of frame in this one, he's running towards Robert while Jonathan's dad is pushing Robert in his trike... Robert finds this hilarious! And you can also see Robert's 7th tooth (FINALLY!!!!) in this pic!



We took him to messy play again this week. I tend not to go much anymore simply because I get messier than he does, and then I have to try and get paint/sand/shaving foam/dried on porridge oats/whatever off him, get him dry, change him, and argh, it's such a chore!! Less so I guess than actually having to clean up the room as well as him, but still. It's easier when there's an extra pair of hands to help!

There was a table with paint squirted round in patterns for the children to mix up with their hands. Robert saw this table (he was the first to it) and went up, and delicately put a finger or two in the paint and dragged it downwards onto the clean paper. It was fascinating watching him figure out what this stuff was and what it did, and felt like.



But it wasn't long before he got properly stuck in!!




Of course if they ever put anything edible out, Robert will find it. It didn't take him long to find the bowl of porridge oats, or the tray of assorted cereal (cornflakes, shreddies, rice crispies, coco pops)...





How I love that last pic, a true "oh damn, I've been caught out!" expression!!

Here's a photo I love as well, it's of Robert playing in the sand (which he usually just tries to eat). Wonderful photo.


Anyway in other news, we all went northwards this weekend to see my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. It was Ewan's 2nd birthday yesterday, and he has certainly developed into his own little character, one that definitely does NOT like Robert sharing his toys lol! Which fair enough I could understand, he is only two years old. But what did make me quite sad was that Ewan spent pretty much the entire time pushing Robert down. :( He did it over and over and over again. Although he did give Robert some cuddles and kisses too, it was still quite upsetting to see Ewan objecting to Robert's presence like that. I hope that it's just a one off but I guess time will tell. Apart from that it was a lovely weekend, and there were times when Ewan didn't seem to mind Robert being there. Robert spent the entire weekend being interested in what Ewan was doing, eating (of course!) and trying to stroke and pull their cat's fur. Their cat, Kevin is extremely placid, and will actually let Robert near him which is a new experience! For the most part Robert was actually getting better, it's such a shame Hazel doesn't let him near her, as it wouldn't take long for him to understand being gentle with her if she did!

I don't have photos yet but will do hopefully by tomorrow.

Anyway, it's time for bed, I hope I've not bored you too much and that the photos broke up the huge walls of text ;)

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I am ovulating, I might jump on Jonathan later just to make sure there's plenty of swimmers there incase I am ;)

My baby is ONE!!!

Oh my goodness, I can't believe this time last year I was in hospital with my baby boy still in SCBU! My baby boy turned one year old on Monday (23rd November), and I can't believe how quick it's gone, and also how much he's grown and developed into his own little person!

My baby boy has gone from this...



to this!



He is a cheeky, gorgeous, and wonderful little boy I can't believe I get to call mine! And I can't imagine him not being mine now, either. I'm so glad he's in my life. I don't know what I would do if I had to go to work and leave my baby most of the day even a few days a week!

We had his birthday party on Sunday, and he had so much fun! I'm so pleased that so many people could come, and it was wonderful for me to see just how much he is loved and how much people care about him!

Here were some of the decorations :)







He enjoyed playing with Bethany as usual. At one point I saw him walking after her, she was crawling, sucking on her dummy, he spotted it and kept bending down to get it out of her mouth, only to have her crawling along again! So he kept stooping down, then having to get up and chase her again! Bethany's parents, Paul and Vikki, gave Robert some balloons with little lights in so they glowed, which Robert loved, and still does! He spent ages at the party grasping both balloons by the knot, and walking around with them! He seems to like the knots on balloons, sometimes sucking on them, I guess they must remind him of something... ;) In fact we had to take the balloons off him so we could get started on his presents! He seemed intent on clutching hold of them the whole time!





He had so many cards and presents, he is such a lucky boy :) He did get a bit fidgetty for his card and present opening, it took quite a while and in the end I did have to rush through them a bit!















The emotional bit for me was of course the cake, I sat with Robert on my lap and Jonathan brought in the cake, and I was unable to sing happy birthday to him, because I was on the verge of tears! The cake itself turned out better than I thought it might in the end! It was quite painstaking to get the icing on the 1 as it was runny icing that hardened in the fridge, and I didn't want the blue of the 1 to mix with the white on the base.











I got lots of lovely comments about the cake, and I think a few people wanted the recipe :) It was delicious, and it's the sort of cake where you just wanna make another one to scoff by yourself, it's so moreish! Robert enjoyed the cake too, infact, he ate all of Barbara's cake (I thought Barbara was helping him eat his own cake, but no, it was hers!!!)













Hehehe!

He had such a good time, walking around, stealing food off of people's plates!

On Monday, his actual birthday, we went down to the embankment and fed the swans and ducks (and seagulls) with the leftover sandwiches, as they had gone a bit crusty and hard having been out all day!

We took him in his new trike, although he seems to enjoy pushing it than being pushed in it ;)















I was absolutely knackered from all the preparation, and then the party itself!

My period was in full swing by the time we were sorting everything out the day before, and while I was shopping for the party with my father-in-law, it was at that horrid icky stage where it just ACHED so painfully down below, I would have normally been curled up in bed with a book and a hot water bottle instead of trudging around tesco!!!

I am a little sad that I was not pregnant by the time Robert was 1, although I guess whatever age Robert will be when he does finally get a little brother or sister will be a good one, I shall just have to wait and see what happens! I hope it's soon though, I'd rather keep their birthdays apart by at least a few weeks, so I hope I get pregnant this cycle or next! Jonathan and I were a little lazy last month, I guess we could have tried harder, so maybe this month if we're not so lazy we will be lucky. Or maybe that weirdness with my spotting etc was due to an early miscarriage?? No way to know of course, I never got a positive result back!

I hope you're all well anyway! Robert's had a chest infection, and other colds etc. He's had a runny nose for about a month now, to varying degrees, then his chest infection in the middle of it!

Thanks for reading! :)

Nope.... :(

Hi guys.. TMI in this one I'm afraid.

Thanks for your comments, unfortunately I don't think I'm pregnant :( Within a couple of hours (typically!!) of posting the entry, I went to the loo and wiped, and got quite a lot of (red) blood on the tissue. Not HUGE amounts but enough to me that signalled the extremely imminent arrival of Aunt Flo...

Since then I have had on the tissue when wiping: lots of brown coloured CM, a small amount of stringy brown CM, then a tissue with nothing, and today I've had more red. So while I was suddenly getting my hopes up with the brown CM I'm pretty sure that's it and AF is due to drop by any hour now in full force.

Strange though, it's been back and forth, so goodness knows what's gone on this time. I will definitely wait and see now, maybe by Monday hopefully she will have come along properly so I know for definite.

I think we should probably try harder next month, I did sort of lose momentum and interest, so I think next month it should be every other day, from period start til period end (or period week or two late). Like when Robert was conceived. I will be knackered no doubt, and sometimes it does feel like a bit of a chore, but Jonathan'll enjoy it at least!

Am I? Aren't I? When should I find out?

I can't describe it, but with each day that passes I feel like I am pregnant. I don't want to get my hopes up, I really don't. But I just can't shake the feeling.

I got some pink when I wiped last night. But I don't feel the beginnings of a period along with it. Or at least what I can remember...

Anyway I am thinking I should know either way within a few days, as that pink is either good news or bad. I had pink on the toilet tissue when I was a couple weeks pregnant with Robert, so who knows.

If we're talking about days since last period, it was yesterday that I tested faintly positive with Robert, and Friday when it was more noticeable. I am in two minds when to test. Do I test tomorrow morning? Or do I test Friday morning? If I test Friday morning and it's positive then I will be unable to keep it in to myself I think! I am going over to the in-laws on Friday, doing some shopping for the party, then will bake Robert's cake. We will be coming back that night so the cat's not alone too much, then on Saturday morning we'll head back there again to prepare the party food, sort out decorations and whatnot. Staying overnight Saturday ready for the party on Sunday. Soo... I am wondering whether to wait until Monday before testing, because if I find out I am pregnant before the party I might let slip? What do you think?

Anyway, I am thrilled with Robert's progress as of late. He is understanding more and more of what we say. He understands stand and sit, cat, ball, car, clap and splash, book, milk, balloon. And those are just off the top of my head! Whenever I ask him where the cat is, he goes over to the stairs and looks up them, as that's usually where he sees her sitting. (When he does see her he makes the most adorable little squeal of excitement!)

He is also managing to stack bricks quite well too. He has stacked towers of 4 bricks before now, and very occasionally 5 bricks. Which I believe is at least an 18 month average milestone :)

He has begun to hold remote controls to his ear like he's talking on the telephone which is ultra cute :)

He is such a lovely little boy, always coming up for hugs, although rarely gives kisses. He can keep himself entertained for a long time really, which is good, although he can still be a little clingy when he's not perfectly content when someone leaves the room.

He has the most gorgeous expressions and is so curious about everything. I can't believe how much he has changed and grown in just 1 year. I can't believe it has been 1 whole year (minus 5 days lol) that he has been here. And at the same time I can't believe it has ONLY been 1 year. My sister-in-law said to me shortly after he was born that it wouldn't be long before I couldn't remember life without him. Well it wasn't instant, it did take a good while, I remember sitting and semi-wishing I had my old baby-less life back where I could watch telly whenever I wanted, get up when I wanted, eat when I wanted, etc. But now I can hardly remember what it was like, and when I try and imagine it again I find myself glad that I have my baby and I wouldn't go back to my life before him for anything!

At the playground






Playing peekaboo behind the net curtain with his cousin Ewan


Playing with his new toybox


At the local country park and their new kiddie area




My little sleeping angel :)