Now I don't know for sure when/if I did actually ovulate. By my average cycle length, it's calculated that it would have been around 29th March. And I did get a huge amount of CM the day before. The last few days I've had quite a bit too, but I've also been dog tired. Almost preg-tired. As in, getting to bed at 10.30, sleeping ALL the way through til 7 when the kids wake and jump on me for milk, and still tired. Then even after I've woken up a bit, at 9.30-10am, still feeling tired and eyes-achy feeling. Then again late afternoon. I'm sitting here now thinking I could quite happily go to bed!! I'd probably be asleep before the kids (who I heard roaring and saying "tickle tickle tickle" to each other just a couple of minutes ago - goodness knows what/who was being tickled!! I didn't hear Robert get out of bed!).
Part of me is thinking I should make sure we "do it" just incase ovulation hasn't happened yet, part of me thinks we shouldn't, or shouldn't worry about it is more accurate.
Ohhhh the two week wait is horrendous. And here was me really not wanting to be worrying about the two week wait again. Here I am!
Saturday 31 March 2012
Thursday 29 March 2012
The possibility
Yesterday I had signs that I am fertile and possibly ovulated or ovulating shortly. And let's just say there is the possibility of a baby. Not a STRONG chance but a chance nonetheless. I find myself thinking with my head that I don't want to be, but with my heart I do. I really really do. If I am, the baby will be due around the 20th December. So the chance of a Christmas baby is high. If I am. Which I sort of hope I'm not. But hope I am more, and I will find out in around two weeks.
I know that next week I will DEFINITELY be hoping I am, as on the way to Kent, we will be stopping by Alice and seeing her lovely boys (and bump!) I'm so excited because it feels like I've known her for ages, since before Arthur was even a twinkle in her eye. ;)
I know that next week I will DEFINITELY be hoping I am, as on the way to Kent, we will be stopping by Alice and seeing her lovely boys (and bump!) I'm so excited because it feels like I've known her for ages, since before Arthur was even a twinkle in her eye. ;)
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Catch up post!
Wow, it's been TWO weeks since I last posted! Such a long time! Part of what frustrates me is that I want to write a post about a trip or a day and the photos aren't ready for it yet, so I end up post-poning, and then forgetting about it!
Here's a post about our trip up to see our new niece Amelia, and of course Ewan, and their lovely parents, my big brother Stephen and his wife Nicky.
The journey up to see them is about 3 hours from us, including a break. Robert was in pants by this stage, finally, and he went to the toilet before we left, again at the service station, and then when we got there. The boys were so good in the car! Christopher slept most of the journey, and Robert seems content a lot of the time to just gaze out of the window watching the world whizz by. The evening before, we managed to coax Robert up to bed very easily, as he was SO excited to go and see his big cousin Ewan. The two cousins are almost one year apart. Their birthdays are just five days apart! They just adore playing together, and I know they will be such good friends when they are older, even more so than they are now! Ewan took charge fairly quickly, telling us to put our shoes in the porch so the floor didn't get slippy, and the two boys enjoyed spending a lot of time up in Ewan's room! We arrived around lunch time, so the boys sat down almost straight away for some lunch.
While the boys were eating lunch, I got cuddles with the precious Amelia
She was a couple of months old when we went, which amazes me as she was still SO tiny! You forget how they stay small for longer than you think!
Christopher was fascinated with Amelia, but Robert didn't pay her much attention, as he was having SO much fun with Ewan!
All three boys got to play in the garden for a while before we headed out to dinner at a restaurant.
Two cousins eating some flapjack shortly before heading out to the restaurant!
The next day we went back to Stephen and Nicky's. Stephen had to go to work but he was still there when we arrived which was good to see him again. We decided to head off to the aquarium that day and have some lunch there, before heading home.
The boys really enjoyed the aquarium. Christopher especially was transfixed with the fish, especially when we went through the tunnel!
At one point we saw some divers go in, and at first I thought they were children as they looked so small! But then I realised it must have been the thickness of the glass and the water refracting, when we realised that, we then thought wow, how big must those sharks really have been?!
Amelia slept through most of the aquarium visit. She woke up around lunch time to have some milk. I was saddened at the weekend to discover that again, Nicky has had trouble breastfeeding, and so was supplementing heavily with formula. I know how badly she wanted to breastfeed and that although she told me she had a lot of support with lactation consultants, etc it just wasn't working out. It seems a shame that some women who decide they don't want to breastfeed have a plentiful supply and struggle with engorgement and have a lot of pain until their milk dries up, and other people like Nicky have supply issues and struggle to breastfeed because of it, even though they really want to. It just seems really unfair to me :( It makes me feel so lucky that I've been able to breastfeed easily enough, but my heart breaks for Nicky all the same :( Anyway, Amelia is such a precious little darling, and apparently is such a settled baby and very undemanding compared to her big brother! ;)
Just so so gorgeous :)
Here's a post about our trip up to see our new niece Amelia, and of course Ewan, and their lovely parents, my big brother Stephen and his wife Nicky.
The journey up to see them is about 3 hours from us, including a break. Robert was in pants by this stage, finally, and he went to the toilet before we left, again at the service station, and then when we got there. The boys were so good in the car! Christopher slept most of the journey, and Robert seems content a lot of the time to just gaze out of the window watching the world whizz by. The evening before, we managed to coax Robert up to bed very easily, as he was SO excited to go and see his big cousin Ewan. The two cousins are almost one year apart. Their birthdays are just five days apart! They just adore playing together, and I know they will be such good friends when they are older, even more so than they are now! Ewan took charge fairly quickly, telling us to put our shoes in the porch so the floor didn't get slippy, and the two boys enjoyed spending a lot of time up in Ewan's room! We arrived around lunch time, so the boys sat down almost straight away for some lunch.
While the boys were eating lunch, I got cuddles with the precious Amelia
She was a couple of months old when we went, which amazes me as she was still SO tiny! You forget how they stay small for longer than you think!
Christopher was fascinated with Amelia, but Robert didn't pay her much attention, as he was having SO much fun with Ewan!
All three boys got to play in the garden for a while before we headed out to dinner at a restaurant.
Two cousins eating some flapjack shortly before heading out to the restaurant!
The next day we went back to Stephen and Nicky's. Stephen had to go to work but he was still there when we arrived which was good to see him again. We decided to head off to the aquarium that day and have some lunch there, before heading home.
The boys really enjoyed the aquarium. Christopher especially was transfixed with the fish, especially when we went through the tunnel!
At one point we saw some divers go in, and at first I thought they were children as they looked so small! But then I realised it must have been the thickness of the glass and the water refracting, when we realised that, we then thought wow, how big must those sharks really have been?!
Amelia slept through most of the aquarium visit. She woke up around lunch time to have some milk. I was saddened at the weekend to discover that again, Nicky has had trouble breastfeeding, and so was supplementing heavily with formula. I know how badly she wanted to breastfeed and that although she told me she had a lot of support with lactation consultants, etc it just wasn't working out. It seems a shame that some women who decide they don't want to breastfeed have a plentiful supply and struggle with engorgement and have a lot of pain until their milk dries up, and other people like Nicky have supply issues and struggle to breastfeed because of it, even though they really want to. It just seems really unfair to me :( It makes me feel so lucky that I've been able to breastfeed easily enough, but my heart breaks for Nicky all the same :( Anyway, Amelia is such a precious little darling, and apparently is such a settled baby and very undemanding compared to her big brother! ;)
Just so so gorgeous :)
Tuesday 13 March 2012
Verdict is in.
And again it's a no for me. I got an urge to test this morning at CD31, went and tested, then wiped, then looked at my knickers. Should have done it in the opposite order, and saved myself a test. Sigh.. Now on CD1.
Am now thinking we shouldn't really "try" for a few months. Another birthday so late in the year would be added stress on us. Getting pregnant in May or June could possibly be bad news for our holiday at the end of June early July. (if I get bad morning sickness) I guess we just stop trying but see what happens until July-ish.
Am now thinking we shouldn't really "try" for a few months. Another birthday so late in the year would be added stress on us. Getting pregnant in May or June could possibly be bad news for our holiday at the end of June early July. (if I get bad morning sickness) I guess we just stop trying but see what happens until July-ish.
Monday 12 March 2012
Dream
I had a dream last night that I found out I was pregnant. I had a huge belly (for just having found out!) and even a few movements. How I didn't know before I don't know! I don't know if this is anything to do with whats going on with us now, or the fact that we watched the episode of Game of Thrones where Daenerys finds out she's pregnant last night.
Hopefully aunt flo will make her appearance at some point during this week so that I know my cycles are settling down into a regular pattern. Today is CD30. Last month she arrived at CD34 so spotting any time before the weekend would be good. I don't feel in the least bit pregnant, so just waiting for aunt flo really.
Hopefully aunt flo will make her appearance at some point during this week so that I know my cycles are settling down into a regular pattern. Today is CD30. Last month she arrived at CD34 so spotting any time before the weekend would be good. I don't feel in the least bit pregnant, so just waiting for aunt flo really.
Wednesday 7 March 2012
Not really been thinking about it!
I've surprised myself in that I've not been thinking (read: obsessing) about what will happen this cycle that much. Obviously it's just crossed my mind again, but I should be getting my period by this time next week hopefully. I'm not expecting to be pregnant. I just don't think I'm ovulating, or at least not obviously, and I have no idea when. Something's just telling me that I think my body just isn't ready for pregnancy yet. And sometimes I think that's just as well. For now, I think I have faith in that it'll happen when it happens. And part of me is thinking the later the better, to give a bit of a bigger age gap so that Christopher can be closer to school age than Robert was. I have so missed not having the one-on-one time with Christopher as a baby, that Robert had.
Sunday 4 March 2012
Sometimes...
I change my mind on when I want Christopher's younger sibling to be conceived. We were stopped at a service station on the way back from my brother's house, Robert had gone off to use the toilet with Jonathan, and Christopher was sat on my lap eating an apple. He was snuggled against my chest and I suddenly had this overwhelming wish that he remain my "baby" for longer. He is my sweet little Squidge, and I just adore our snuggles. And while I am so broody generally, I do get my moments of loving that I am not pregnant yet.
Talking of which, I am officially in the two week wait, or at least I should be by now. If I am not pregnant, I shall simply enjoy my Squidge being my littlest baby a while longer. :)
Talking of which, I am officially in the two week wait, or at least I should be by now. If I am not pregnant, I shall simply enjoy my Squidge being my littlest baby a while longer. :)
Friday 2 March 2012
Feels odd
Christopher didn't nurse at bedtime today. He didn't seem too bothered about it, and as he was being rather squirmy in the direction of the bedroom, I asked him did he want to go to sleep, or did he want gah-gee, and he pointed/lunged towards the room he shares with Robert now. So I went in there with him and said goodnight, tucked him up in bed, and he went to sleep.
Christopher is getting much better with sleep now. He will sleep through til 5ish, when Jonathan brings him in and he nurses. He tends to get a lot of milk then, and then he'll go back to sleep, and as he doesn't sleep well in bed with us, very squirmy/climby, I go and put him back in the boys room. In the evenings, he prefers to go to bed awake and drift off by himself. He is happy to do that too, and will stop nursing, wriggle himself off the bed and go and find Jonathan to say goodnight.
Robert dropped the evening feed fairly quickly too, and hasn't nursed to sleep (besides odd moments on the sofa) for so long I can't even remember.
Tomorrow we will be going to see my brother and his family, along with new (well, 2 month old) Amelia. I am quite looking forward to it, and Robert is SO. EXCITED! to be going to see his cousin Ewan! They are only a year apart in age, and seem to get on very well, and they are both high as kites when they get together!
The bags are mostly packed and ready to go in the car, just things like toothbrushes left to go in! I'm quite looking forward to the drive, it's a lengthy one, about 3 hours, so we can share the driving this time!
Christopher is getting much better with sleep now. He will sleep through til 5ish, when Jonathan brings him in and he nurses. He tends to get a lot of milk then, and then he'll go back to sleep, and as he doesn't sleep well in bed with us, very squirmy/climby, I go and put him back in the boys room. In the evenings, he prefers to go to bed awake and drift off by himself. He is happy to do that too, and will stop nursing, wriggle himself off the bed and go and find Jonathan to say goodnight.
Robert dropped the evening feed fairly quickly too, and hasn't nursed to sleep (besides odd moments on the sofa) for so long I can't even remember.
Tomorrow we will be going to see my brother and his family, along with new (well, 2 month old) Amelia. I am quite looking forward to it, and Robert is SO. EXCITED! to be going to see his cousin Ewan! They are only a year apart in age, and seem to get on very well, and they are both high as kites when they get together!
The bags are mostly packed and ready to go in the car, just things like toothbrushes left to go in! I'm quite looking forward to the drive, it's a lengthy one, about 3 hours, so we can share the driving this time!
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