I'm generally feeling better than I was, although I still got a bit angry and frustrated with Robert over the last day or so. I feel like he's not actually being stimulated enough. I feel like there's something I'm not providing for him, but I don't know what. Sometimes I feel like I'll actually get around to providing a messy/creative/arty thing for him to do, but it usually just winds up as more stress for me, and I just feel like I wish it would just be over with already, and why did I bother, etc. Like he wants to walk around picking up things with messy hands, getting everything all over the place and I just feel like screaming!
I wish Robert's nap didn't co-incide with the afternoon group sessions, I really do. Because this afternoon (in fact it started 20 minutes ago) there is a messy play session which he loved when he was having different nap times, and today I did even try to get him down for a nap early (he went down at midday) and he is still asleep! So by the time he wakes, and we get down there, it'll practically be over so there's really no point. There is a stay and play group in the mornings on Monday and Friday, that is all! Afternoons are just terrible for me to try and get to. It's just so much easier and makes the weeks go so much faster when I get out a few times a week. That's why Sarah is my lifeline, we can work around Robert's naps, and it gets him socialising which is lovely. And gets me adult company!
Anyway, Robert is now stirring from his nap (almost 2 hours, good boy) and he'll be hungry as he only ate 1/4 of his lunch (I suppose it had only been 2 hours or so since breakfast - AND he'd had a snack or two as well) so he can have the rest in a mo.
Squidge is almost 14 weeks along now, so s/he (I still have NO idea at all! Where are my gender dreams this time round???) is now around 9-10 cm long, is beginning to grow hair (not surprised if Robert is anything to go by!) and is a fully formed human being, all be it a very very tiny one! I have less than 2 weeks to wait til I hear Squidge's heartbeat for the first time (for anyone who is confused at that due to a certain Facebook April Fools prank I played, I never actually saw the midwife, I made up a senario why I'd need to see her earlier than I said I was incase anyone remembered I was going to see her at 16 weeks!) and while I'm still about 85-90% sure I have been (and occasionally still am) feeling Squidge kicking already, it will be a relief that all is okay and that I know it's entirely possible for Squidge to be doing so!
Well Robert seems to have moaned himself back to sleep temporarily... He is definitely getting better, he didn't wake up coughing that I could tell last night and when he does cough it's definitely better than it was. And I'm now no longer paranoid he'll start chucking up his food.
I want to start the exercise again. I haven't done so for a couple of weeks now, I've just not felt up to it, but I think I might be up to starting it up slowly again now. Last time I weighed in I was at around 14 stone 1 or 2 which isn't bad as my lowest weight so far since pregnancy with Robert has been 13 stone 8 and I gained that back before my pregnancy with Squidge so I think I've gained barely 3lbs... at least until 2 weeks ago. I will weigh myself again later when Robert is eating dinner I think. I won't be surprised to see an increase, not just because I'm now into the 2nd trimester and baby will be gaining weight rapidly now, but also because I've had a couple of takeaways, and a pizza using tesco value pizza bases, and a couple of roast dinners... several helpings of various cakes... and ice cream! We shall see. I'm trying to be sensible but I am indulging cravings too, just trying to not indulge them to the point of binging!
Hopefully I'll catch up later. Robert is now letting me know he's definitely ready to be up and playing!
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