33 weeks 3 days - update, diabetes consultant.

I saw the diabetes consultant on Wednesday (at 32 weeks 6 days). Due to my diabetes, they want to induce me 2 weeks early at 38 weeks. Having had a few days to process this, I am reluctant to say yes if my cervix is not ready, but if it is ready I will most likely accept induction. They are happy to leave it to 40 weeks if I have twice-weekly monitoring but do not want my pregnancy to last any longer. I know I can refuse induction if I want to even then, but for now, I want to wait and see what happens.

I have an appointment on the 1st September again with the diabetes consultant, and as far as I am aware, I am going to get an internal on that date for them to assess my cervix. I will be 34 weeks 6 days pregnant then.

I am also expecting a growth scan date to come through the post for when I am around 36 weeks pregnant.

I am seeing Beverley (my midwife) again on the 6th September, so hopefully that won't clash with my scan.

I am thinking that I will accept induction if my cervix is getting ready. And I am actually getting quite eager about meeting my little baby, so I am going to try some home remedies to get it ready, so I am going to buy some raspberry leaf tea on Tuesday, going to try and get a birthing ball, extra walking, and so on. Not actually necessarily the labour inducing stuff, but the things that would help soften and shorten my cervix.

I will be 38 weeks pregnant on the 23rd September. I don't know if they would induce me bang on 38 weeks, but I think if I was... providing I'm ready... wow, my two children could both be born on the 23rd of the month! Robert would be exactly 22 months old if Squidge is born on 23rd September. I feel quite gobsmacked thinking that I could be giving birth a MONTH from tomorrow. When I found out I was pregnant, and due on 7th October, it never once crossed my mind that my baby could be a September baby. Robert came bang on time, but there was always the feeling that Squidge would be late.

I will be offered a sweep at 37 weeks, which would be my preferred method of induction if it works alone.

A week ago I felt a little depressed, and annoyed whenever anyone said to me "not long to go now" - for the record, I am NEVER saying that to a pregnant woman ever again unless she is in labour!!! Even if they only have 1 week to go, or a few days to go, or overdue! I now am feeling quite upbeat. I think the knowledge that if I want to I will be induced at 38 weeks has made a world of difference. It's like I know that if I get really fed up or in pain, or whatever, and I do just think "lets get the baby out" I will be able to at 38 weeks, and in fact they WANT me to. Even though at the moment I want to say no unless I am ready, if I change my mind I know my option is there, and that is just a nice comforting feeling I know from a completely selfish point of view but there we go!

Anyway so that's my situation!!

This weekend we went to Kent to see my family. I saw my brother and sister-in-law with my nephew Ewan as well which was lovely. The two boys got on better together than they did in November, but there were some sharing issues lol. Squidge and I got a lot of attention, particularly today at my Dad's party with a lot of people around. The boys got a lot of attention too, and there were so many people around it was hard to stay with Robert all the time, but there were always people around to stop anything from happening, and my step-mum's three nieces and nephews who are 13 and 14 were eager to play with both boys and keep them entertained, so I felt ok to sit and relax a bit.

Robert has had a bit of trouble with his routine this weekend with regards to nap and sleep, which resulted in a VERY grumpy and tearful little boy on Saturday night, who cried when he had to say goodbye to his Nanna, and who cried when he saw his other grandad and grandma, didn't want his teeth brushed, or his story read, or even milky, and just wanted to play with cars and threw a major tantrum and even when we put him to bed, we could hear him sobbing and calling out "car car!" He finally fell asleep but then he woke up half an hour earlier than normal the next morning, and getting him down for a nap at the normalish time (in an attempt to get his routine back on track) was a pain! But he slept then for a good amount of time, and once he was in the bath tonight before we set out for home, he was fine (although being persuaded to part from his teenage entertainers and supply of toy cars was a challenge!), and he fell asleep in the car home, and stayed sleepy after waking up when we arrived home, so he's fast asleep in his cot so here's hoping for a return to routine and a nice long sleep tonight!

Squidge is still nice and active, I get mainly wriggles and feet/elbows/hands brushing about, less kicks but when I do get a kick, they sometimes take my breath away and HURT! I love laying down and seeing Squidge wriggle about in there. I find it very comforting, and each day that passes my love and eagerness to meet Squidge grows.

There is always the feeling I think when you become pregnant with your second child, about how much you will be able to love them, how could you ever love your second child like you love your first. As the days and weeks go by, I just KNOW I will fall in love the second I see Squidge. I can't wait to call Squidge by his/her name (Boy's name STILL not decided, it probably won't be Christopher anymore but I really don't know!!!). I still have the feeling that Squidge is a girl, but tonight when I was making some tea, I don't know why but I suddenly imagined Squidge here, as a boy, and thinking "wow, a mum of 2 boys!" and that thought left a warm soft feeling inside me like I just know that even if Squidge isn't a girl like my instincts are telling me, that I will love my two boys so much, I will love BEING a mum to two boys! And strangely enough it felt at that moment "more right" if Squidge is a boy. Such an odd odd feeling but I just know that everything will be alright. My little Squidge... maybe connecting to the idea of having a boy will make it easier to find a name I like for a boy.

For now... we shall wait and see. I might only have another 4 weeks and 4 days to go of this pregnancy! It seems like such a short time now, and it really won't be long before I am beginning my next chapter, as a mum of TWO children!