18 weeks - anniversary tomorrow, signing

Well tomorrow is mine and Jonathan's 5th wedding anniversary, and 9th "being together" anniversary. We've had our ups and downs but it's hard to believe that we've been together for so long, considering I'm not even in my 30s yet, that next year we will have been together a whole decade, and I still would not be in my 30s. Next year we will have been married for 6 years, together for 10 years, and have two beautiful children.

I can hardly believe how lucky I am, that my husband just fell into my lap so to speak, that we found each other and are so happy together. That we have been able to work through tough patches (and as a result are still together) and puts us in good stead to be together for a long long time, hopefully as they say til death do us part. We have been so lucky on so many counts, that we have had fabulous support from family in particular, both financial and emotional, which puts us in a very fortunate position for the future, despite us having made mistakes on when we bought this house and got out a fixed rate mortgage for 5 years (sigh).

And now I am nearly half way through "cooking" our second child (lol, that phrase makes me giggle), and enjoying every moment! I think I am eating *slightly* better than my first pregnancy. I am certainly more active! Having looked back on my first pregnancy I am having a lot easier time so far of it. Although with this one I have had more bleeding (only spotting but still far far more than with Robert), but less of everything else. At this point in my pregnancy I was already suffering with heartburn on occasion, whereas no sign of this whatsoever yet! But there is plenty more time for me to suffer with heartburn, SPD, swollen ankles and feet, etc like I did with Robert.

When I lay down I can feel Squidge's rough position, last night I was fairly certain he was laying transverse, with his back along the top of my uterus.

Yes that's right, I'm saying he. Why? Two reasons. One, it's SO damn annoying to have to keep saying s/he, or his/her. Second... my friend Sarah has found out she's having a girl. And despite what I said before about me having no preference to which gender I was having, I did suddenly get a twinge. That if I did end up having a boy I would be sad, because she got her girl and I didn't get one. Which made me realise that I must have had a subconscious desire for a girl over a boy that I wasn't entirely aware of. I think that if I get it into my head that it's a boy now... that if I am convinced he's a boy, then it will be easier. But I am still thinking of leaving it as a surprise, that bit of uncertainty, so there is a small chance I am carrying a girl... does that make sense? By focussing on the good things of having another boy, then I will be happier when he arrives.

I am feeling him kick much more as well. In fact, last night as I was laying down with Robert before his bedtime, I could feel him moving around a bit. I put my hand on my tummy, and I felt a tiny pop against my hand! I'm pretty sure I can feel Squidge better than I did Robert, not only his kicks, but also him as well, when I feel my tummy. Maybe with Robert my placenta was around by my tummy, and this time it's towards my back? I've not told Jonathan about being able to feel the kicks with my hand yet, as the times Squidge is kicking hard enough to feel are so few, they're not nearly half the number of times he actually kicks.

What I find amazing is that despite having felt Robert move at 15 weeks, it wasn't until 19 weeks that I was 100% sure that I had felt a proper kick! Just goes to show I suppose that it's true, for second pregnancies you do realise that the baby is kicking sooner, as I know I've been recognising Squidge's kicks from at least 16 weeks as proper kicks.

As for breastfeeding. Robert is still breastfeeding morning and night. And he asked for it during the day yesterday as well. He is beginning to communicate much better, not only in his words, but he has finally grasped signing, that he can sign a particular way to get exactly what he wants. He only knows how to make 3 signs really, the three we use most regularly. He knows "more" very well, and "drink" not so well. He sometimes signs more when he wants a drink. He also knows milk, but he needs encouragement to use it. It won't be long before he is using signs perfectly to aid his communication with us. I told my dad about his signing, and how babies develop better control with their hands before they're able to talk, so they can communicate this way quicker, and he was quite impressed and said "oh, that's a really good idea!" and generally thought that it made sense, as it helps them to be less frustrated.

I want to teach him a few other signs, like nappy, so he will be able to sign to me when he needs a nappy change, sleep, so he can tell me when he's tired, and things like hot, cold, scared, hurt. Scared will be a tough one to do. I will have to get his grandad (my dad) over to jump out at him like he did last time we went down there (poor Robert got scared, my dad was trying to make him laugh but he was so loud and unexpected, that Robert's lip started quivering and you could tell he was frightened by it!) and then sign scared to Robert so he knows what it is lol!

Anyway I digressed. Robert is still breastfeeding, and I only ever offer milk to him at night before bed. But he always has morning milk, and if he asks during the day he gets it too. Yesterday he wanted it, so I let him. Usually downstairs he's happy to stand next to me but yesterday he wanted to climb up onto me and lay down while having his milky on the sofa. Which was nice to have some snuggles. :)

This morning after he'd had his milk, he got up all grins, and went to scoot himself off the bed, and on the way I heard him burp, which made me quite happy, surely that means he's still getting quite a lot of milk from me?

We have his 18 month hospital checkup on the 21st, just over 2 weeks time. I'm so pleased he's started to talk, even if it's just a few words, and that he communicates by signing. At the 12 month checkup I was quite worried as the questions the doctor asked us about his development (apart from physical, which he was ahead on), he seemed concerned about his language development, and doubted us when he said he could understand what we said.

Robert now understands most simple questions we ask him, if he doesn't know a particular word you can tell he gets confused. But daily tasks he does he doesn't even need to be verbally asked anymore. When he gets undressed ready for his bath he will put his clothes immediately in the wash basket (more than can be said for his dad!!!!), and when I let him down off the table naked, I will hand him his dirty nappy (in a nappy bag of course) and I don't even need to ask him, he will go and put it in the bin.

While I do of course get frustrated with him from time to time, it doesn't take much for me to melt :)

Who couldn't melt, when greeted with this...?



or this....?



:)