My neighbour and I have made up again. I was so so angry at what she said that I was determined not to budge, I think in a way I had convinced myself that she hated me, (indeed, it did SEEM to me that she hated me) so that I also hated her, didn't need her friendship. The truth is, that while some of our parenting methods are sooo different, our souls seem to be connected. We just "get" each other, and she's the only friend I've ever really had like it.
She texted me on Christopher's birthday, and before long we were texting just like we used to, which unnerved me a bit, so we met up at the park and had a good long chat. I came home after and cried and cried on and off most of the afternoon for being so stupid and stubborn the last 7 months, for missing out on our friendship all that time, for all the mean thoughts I directed her way. The things I thought in order to make myself feel better for not having her in my life. All the ANGER I directed at her almost every day in my thoughts just so I could survive another day without her friendship. I went to the playgroups, smiled, tried being friendly in the hopes of making other friends. A replacement Sarah, but none got even close. When we met up and she told me how much she missed me, and I mentioned how I saw her walking up the road with people, chatting and smiling away, she said "yeah, but they're not you."
That was the moment I forgave her, felt part of her pain, and realised how much we both need our friendship, and that that's the reason making up was so important, and how we were just meant to be friends. That evening, I read on someone's status about "fake friends and real friends" Fake Friends - never ask for food. -Real Friends - Are the reasons you have no food. - Fake Friends - Never seen you cry. - Real Friends - Cry with you. - Fake Friends - Know a few things about you. - Real Friends - Could write a book about you. - Fake Friends - Would knock on your front door. - Real Friends - Walk right in and shout "I'M HOME!" - Fake Friends - Will help you up when you fall over. - Real Friends - Will jump on top of you and shout "SANDWICH!" - Fake Friends - Are for a while. - Real Friends - Are for life. and I cried while reading that. Because that's what we have in a friendship.
I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful mutual friendship with her, and that she made the first move to get it back again.
Glad you made up and that things are better. Sometimes talking it out and making up is the best thing but sometimes it can be easier to go your separate ways. You've made the right choice for you. :) xo
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