More blood tinged CM today at CD28. CD27 had cramps. Woke up this morning very tired - but Christopher was up at 2 crying and took a few attempts to resettle him (trying to get night weaning sorted), and just when I thought I'd have to give up and give him the boob (trying to wait til 5am til he has more milk) he settled down. I really don't know if the tiredness (it felt rather extreme this morning) is just Christopher waking, or the other thing.
Jonathan seems to have come around on the whole "more than 2 kids" thing. But we are currently in discussions about schooling (or lack thereof - not saying there won't be education!!). I am leaning towards unschooling right now, what brought this about I'm not sure but part of me really really wants to do it! But the thing is I am having to talk a LOT about it with Jonathan, who has serious misgivings about various aspects of it. Some of which I don't have the answers to, so am having to research. He is really quite upset about the whole thing, and completely and utterly wants the kids to go to school. And part of me wants them to as well. But then I think what do I do once the kids are all grown up and in fulltime education? It would make sense to have at least a part time job, but what? Where? Part of me thinks it would be good though to do this. I am so conflicted, but luckily nothing needs to be decided for some time. Nursery places aren't allocated until March/April, and of course education doesn't become compulsory until 5.
This parenting business has so much to think about. It's amazing what people think though when you tell them you are considering not sending your kids to school. How anything that's not mainstream is gasped at, and you are treated like you are doing something awful to your kids. I told someone who seemed appauled at this that I was pleased she cared about my kids enough to show such concern, and that I would think about all she said when I discussed with J what was best for our children. Her response was "Robert is an amazing little boy and I want the best for him". But the thing is, your idea of the best isn't always the same as the parents', and it's our job to decide what is best, whatever that may be. Parenting is so emotive... I could probably come up with a dozen parenting topics off the cuff that causes debate.
Anyway... I am due on tomorrow at the earliest, although seeing as I've only had one full cycle so far, I could come on much later. Given the red CM I would guess it could be AF on her way. We shall see I guess! Haven't bothered testing today, I will test maybe on Monday or Tuesday if there's no sign of AF. Or perhaps leave it til Friday that way I can be sure that I am at least due for AF soon if not overdue. It's a long old wait.. even without properly TTC!
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Friday, 6 January 2012
Update on tests
Well done more, and all have been very very negative. No more lines after a wait, or any immediate positives. I was really happy to see so many comments on my entry though! To answer Jemma, I sort of did to begin with, I felt quite tired (although it's hard to differentiate early pregnancy tiredness from toddler still waking in the night several times tiredness!), and I was weeing LOADS. Now though, not so much. I feel mildly crampy so I feel that I'm about to come on soon. I'm not going to think about it much anymore for a few days, and see what next week brings!
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Erm..
I might have some news to share soon... stay tuned, I'll be back in a few days tops...
Taken some tests. The top one was taken yesterday morning (Weds 4th Jan) and it appeared negative at first, left it aside for a few hours as I'd forgotten about it (meant to look again in another 5-10 minutes) and that's what I saw. Can you see the second line too? I'm not sure if what I'm seeing is a proper line, or if it's an evap line because of the colour bleed. The test below looks fairly negative, and was taken this morning.
I think I am just going to have to wait til the 8th Jan which is the earliest I'm due on again. Thinking about doing a CBD but thinking there won't be a lot of point.
Taken some tests. The top one was taken yesterday morning (Weds 4th Jan) and it appeared negative at first, left it aside for a few hours as I'd forgotten about it (meant to look again in another 5-10 minutes) and that's what I saw. Can you see the second line too? I'm not sure if what I'm seeing is a proper line, or if it's an evap line because of the colour bleed. The test below looks fairly negative, and was taken this morning.
I think I am just going to have to wait til the 8th Jan which is the earliest I'm due on again. Thinking about doing a CBD but thinking there won't be a lot of point.
Sunday, 1 January 2012
happy new year!
Happy new year everyone! Did everyone see in the new year well? I was asleep practically heh.
I was debating whether or not to write about this because I thought how fun would it be to be completely unexpected... but I do wonder if I am roughly regular yet... had a 29 day cycle last time... I am currently on cycle day 22. While not technically trying we have, to borrow a term from someone, had parsnips on cycle days 10, 11, 18 and 19. If I am due another 29 day cycle I am roughly 7 days dpo, and have had a red tinged cervical fluid today when I wiped.
People knowledgeable on such matters, when do you think I may have ovulated (had lots of twinges already in the last week, increased CM, right sided pains, in the last week) and what could the red tinged CM be?
I was debating whether or not to write about this because I thought how fun would it be to be completely unexpected... but I do wonder if I am roughly regular yet... had a 29 day cycle last time... I am currently on cycle day 22. While not technically trying we have, to borrow a term from someone, had parsnips on cycle days 10, 11, 18 and 19. If I am due another 29 day cycle I am roughly 7 days dpo, and have had a red tinged cervical fluid today when I wiped.
People knowledgeable on such matters, when do you think I may have ovulated (had lots of twinges already in the last week, increased CM, right sided pains, in the last week) and what could the red tinged CM be?
Friday, 30 December 2011
Thoughts about genders
Well, yesterday my sister-in-law gave birth to a little girl, who she and my brother named Amelia. It's been a day now and I'm feeling a lot more excited and happy about it than I was when I first heard the news. She is the one who had a boy a year before Robert was born, who told me she didn't want kids at all to stop disappointment of people knowing it was taking them a while to conceive etc. I must admit, my first reaction was that of a sinking resentfulness. A stupid one of course, like the first one I felt when she was pregnant with my nephew! That once again they have "beat me" to something new for my parents. They had the first grandchild (and grandson incidentally), and now they have had the first granddaughter, despite me having two children between. Plus the fact that before Robert was "Robert" - while he was Sausage, I wanted a girl. And secretly I think I wanted Christopher to be a girl too.
It's been going round and round my head, wondering if the news that they had had a girl was disappointing to me for that reason also... because I do hope that someday I will have a daughter! And of course, I may not ever have a daughter. It did also get me thinking, also due to reading comments on my brother's photos of Amelia, or status updates, people's opinions, that having "one of each" is the "perfect" family. I hear it everywhere. See it everywhere. I've never heard, or at least not to my recollection, somebody saying "awww another boy, how perfect!" (or girl, of course) when it's a second child. (as opposed to third, where they already have "one of each"). And you see the dolls families with 2 parents, and 2 kids, the kids are always a boy and a girl. And Robert's checkout game, a boy and a girl. Charlie and Lola on TV.
I do love my BOYS so so much, and do NOT love Christopher any less because he's not a girl! (Or Robert for that matter). But I do find myself trying to conjure up homely images of the future of me with all sons and no daughters. To convince myself that it won't be all that bad. (!!) Strapping lads with their arms around me as they reach their adulthood. Boys running in the garden playing football or play wrestling. That sort of thing!
Another thing that I think of, is that if we do end up with another baby, I find myself wondering what the gender will be. I of course have no way of knowing!! But I find myself thinking all the same "I wonder if I will get a girl" or things like that. I think if we do have another baby we will find out the sex (Jonathan wanted to with Christopher it was me that stopped us! So I think Jonathan would have no problem if we have another baby), so that if it's a boy it will give me time to adjust. I do think back to the dream I had in pregnancy with Robert, that I gave birth to triplets, the first one being Robert, the second one also a boy, and the third one we thought was a boy at first but then it turned out to be a girl. It does make me wonder, if it's a kind of future telling dream, that I will have 3 kids, and well first two boys.. and if I have a third, if it will show on ultrasound (or if it's just an overwhelming thought) that it's a third boy, whether we will be surprised later by the emergence (or view on ultrasound) of a girl.
I guess it's a "time will tell" ending to this post really... All this assuming I do actually have a third child.
It's been going round and round my head, wondering if the news that they had had a girl was disappointing to me for that reason also... because I do hope that someday I will have a daughter! And of course, I may not ever have a daughter. It did also get me thinking, also due to reading comments on my brother's photos of Amelia, or status updates, people's opinions, that having "one of each" is the "perfect" family. I hear it everywhere. See it everywhere. I've never heard, or at least not to my recollection, somebody saying "awww another boy, how perfect!" (or girl, of course) when it's a second child. (as opposed to third, where they already have "one of each"). And you see the dolls families with 2 parents, and 2 kids, the kids are always a boy and a girl. And Robert's checkout game, a boy and a girl. Charlie and Lola on TV.
I do love my BOYS so so much, and do NOT love Christopher any less because he's not a girl! (Or Robert for that matter). But I do find myself trying to conjure up homely images of the future of me with all sons and no daughters. To convince myself that it won't be all that bad. (!!) Strapping lads with their arms around me as they reach their adulthood. Boys running in the garden playing football or play wrestling. That sort of thing!
Another thing that I think of, is that if we do end up with another baby, I find myself wondering what the gender will be. I of course have no way of knowing!! But I find myself thinking all the same "I wonder if I will get a girl" or things like that. I think if we do have another baby we will find out the sex (Jonathan wanted to with Christopher it was me that stopped us! So I think Jonathan would have no problem if we have another baby), so that if it's a boy it will give me time to adjust. I do think back to the dream I had in pregnancy with Robert, that I gave birth to triplets, the first one being Robert, the second one also a boy, and the third one we thought was a boy at first but then it turned out to be a girl. It does make me wonder, if it's a kind of future telling dream, that I will have 3 kids, and well first two boys.. and if I have a third, if it will show on ultrasound (or if it's just an overwhelming thought) that it's a third boy, whether we will be surprised later by the emergence (or view on ultrasound) of a girl.
I guess it's a "time will tell" ending to this post really... All this assuming I do actually have a third child.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Reading back...
To when I was TTC/early pregnant with Christopher, when Robert was a little younger than Christopher is now, makes me boggle in amazement, at various things. One being how difficult it is to realise all the little things that Christopher is doing. How I have less time to update on Christopher's cute little things he does and how, when I read about Robert at that age, it makes me think "goodness, Christopher does that too and I've not really updated about it!" It sounds silly, but it seems like these little things, the way he toddles back and forth between my leg and the opposite sofa, planting kisses on each in turn about three times over, with the biggest grin on his face, will just disappear into thin air as Christopher the toddler turns into Christopher the pre-schooler. I read these things about Robert, and feel a twinge of sadness how soon Christopher will outgrow them, and become a little boy, talking, making me laugh with what he says rather than just what he does, how he will just grow and grow until he is a little boy rather than a baby, and I will never realise where he went, because like Robert, it will happen so gradually that I won't notice until it's long gone. It's lovely to see them grow up and change and develop, but so sad that once those days are gone, they are gone.
I can't believe that Robert was ever this young, and little, but he was! This is when he was around the same age as Christopher is now. I can completely see how he has grown up from this baby to the boy he is today, but funny how it doesn't work the other way around! I can't imagine the little boy Christopher will grow up to be!
And Christopher...
I can't believe that Robert was ever this young, and little, but he was! This is when he was around the same age as Christopher is now. I can completely see how he has grown up from this baby to the boy he is today, but funny how it doesn't work the other way around! I can't imagine the little boy Christopher will grow up to be!
And Christopher...
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Christmas countdown and other goings-on
Well there are now 12 days to go til Christmas, and as usual, we are still finishing off buying Christmas presents. We don't have things for our parents, and we are trying desperately to think of things. I think it may have to be a medley of grandchild-made gifts for them this year, which means a busy week for me, and I should really make a list of what to make and when it needs to be done!
Just realised my last post was on the 28th of November, and that the next day I, as many of you will know from Facebook, passed my driving test first time! On Sunday I did my first un-chaperoned drive, which I felt strangely comfortable about! And now I can't wait to get a second car for us to keep here! I have a feeling that home improvements will go a lot faster once I have a car... Which I also predict will mean a rather sharp increase on our monthly outgoings. What Jonathan and I found rather amusing was that adding me to his insurance for the Yaris actually SAVED him £33! (which must mean they regard me as the safest driver haha)
I am also busy trying to convince him that he wants a third child, something that I don't seem to be doing too well at lately. :( yesterday I suggested that if we had another baby, and it was another boy, we could call him Daniel, as that's the name he's been itching for since day 1! He seemed to have mixed feelings about that heh. But having said that I am for now, happy to not be pregnant. Just as well, I am currently in the middle of my second post-natal period.
On boy news, they are both progressing beautifully. :) Robert is in the early stages of potty training... And has been forever it feels like. I get him to sit on the potty regularly, and he's been on the toilet a few times too. But he has NO idea when he needs to do either. The regular potty time is catching all his poos, but not his wees so we have quite a lot of accidents when he is in pants. I guess for now I just carry on getting him sitting on the potty several times a day and hoping that eventually he'll tell me when he needs a wee or a poo. It just seems never ending lately.
Christopher is not saying anything other than "geh" for again, which was the same as Robert! Sometimes he will wave and babble in a way that it sounds like he's trying to say "bye bye daddy" but with varying sounds making up the babbling. He's becoming quite reliant on me being around, and gets very clingy sometimes. And when he is upset, he wants ME. Not necessarily for gah-gee, cuddles will do, but only from me, no-one else. Something that got Jonathan quite upset at the weekend. He was a little happier when Christopher obliged him with a kiss (something that can be touch and go!) and when, this morning, Christopher got upset about Jonathan going downstairs and didn't seem to want to come to me.
Another thing Christopher is enjoying is playing with Robert's duplo, so I'm guessing we will be going on a duplo hunt this weekend! I'm really looking forward to giving the boys their main joint Christmas present... a dolls house! While the vast majority of the boys' toys are gender neutral or boy ones, they do each have a doll and they will love their dolls house I'm sure! And was such a bargain too!
A while ago I got the boys some painting to do, they love painting, but ohhh boy it is messy and it seems to take longer to set it up and clear it (and the boys) up afterwards than the time they are interested in it!! But they did enjoy it and we later used the finished paintings to make paper chains with.
At one point, Robert enjoyed simply making patterns in the paint with his finger, so I let him continue doing this all over the tray, and then put a piece of paper down on top of the pattern and rubbed the pattern onto the paper!
You can see the two patterned ones here, the red one next to the black bag, and the cream and gold one near the washing machine. All the others were made using brushes, hands, rollers etc. :)
Oh and hot news in from the press - Robert seems to be aware of his bowel movements yippee! This morning, I hadn't changed his nappy or got him to sit on the potty, and he said "Oh mummy, I need a poopoo" and started tugging down his pjs and nappy. Went and sat on the toilet (on his new toilet seat) and did a bit of wee, and then said "would you JUST GO Mummy?!!" so I went, and listened like crazy for rustlings of toilet paper, went back in at the appropriate time, and sure enough he'd done a poo! Sooo so pleased!!! Was so proud of him for telling me instead of just going in his nappy! And I feel a bit more confident that sooner or later he will realise that he needs a wee and tell me about that too!
Anyway, will leave off here for now with a photo (pre-haircut!!) of my two little men
Excuse mucky clothes lol. I gave him tomatoes or something equally mucky for lunch it seems that day and I rarely bother with bibs anymore!
Just realised my last post was on the 28th of November, and that the next day I, as many of you will know from Facebook, passed my driving test first time! On Sunday I did my first un-chaperoned drive, which I felt strangely comfortable about! And now I can't wait to get a second car for us to keep here! I have a feeling that home improvements will go a lot faster once I have a car... Which I also predict will mean a rather sharp increase on our monthly outgoings. What Jonathan and I found rather amusing was that adding me to his insurance for the Yaris actually SAVED him £33! (which must mean they regard me as the safest driver haha)
I am also busy trying to convince him that he wants a third child, something that I don't seem to be doing too well at lately. :( yesterday I suggested that if we had another baby, and it was another boy, we could call him Daniel, as that's the name he's been itching for since day 1! He seemed to have mixed feelings about that heh. But having said that I am for now, happy to not be pregnant. Just as well, I am currently in the middle of my second post-natal period.
On boy news, they are both progressing beautifully. :) Robert is in the early stages of potty training... And has been forever it feels like. I get him to sit on the potty regularly, and he's been on the toilet a few times too. But he has NO idea when he needs to do either. The regular potty time is catching all his poos, but not his wees so we have quite a lot of accidents when he is in pants. I guess for now I just carry on getting him sitting on the potty several times a day and hoping that eventually he'll tell me when he needs a wee or a poo. It just seems never ending lately.
Christopher is not saying anything other than "geh" for again, which was the same as Robert! Sometimes he will wave and babble in a way that it sounds like he's trying to say "bye bye daddy" but with varying sounds making up the babbling. He's becoming quite reliant on me being around, and gets very clingy sometimes. And when he is upset, he wants ME. Not necessarily for gah-gee, cuddles will do, but only from me, no-one else. Something that got Jonathan quite upset at the weekend. He was a little happier when Christopher obliged him with a kiss (something that can be touch and go!) and when, this morning, Christopher got upset about Jonathan going downstairs and didn't seem to want to come to me.
Another thing Christopher is enjoying is playing with Robert's duplo, so I'm guessing we will be going on a duplo hunt this weekend! I'm really looking forward to giving the boys their main joint Christmas present... a dolls house! While the vast majority of the boys' toys are gender neutral or boy ones, they do each have a doll and they will love their dolls house I'm sure! And was such a bargain too!
A while ago I got the boys some painting to do, they love painting, but ohhh boy it is messy and it seems to take longer to set it up and clear it (and the boys) up afterwards than the time they are interested in it!! But they did enjoy it and we later used the finished paintings to make paper chains with.
At one point, Robert enjoyed simply making patterns in the paint with his finger, so I let him continue doing this all over the tray, and then put a piece of paper down on top of the pattern and rubbed the pattern onto the paper!
You can see the two patterned ones here, the red one next to the black bag, and the cream and gold one near the washing machine. All the others were made using brushes, hands, rollers etc. :)
Oh and hot news in from the press - Robert seems to be aware of his bowel movements yippee! This morning, I hadn't changed his nappy or got him to sit on the potty, and he said "Oh mummy, I need a poopoo" and started tugging down his pjs and nappy. Went and sat on the toilet (on his new toilet seat) and did a bit of wee, and then said "would you JUST GO Mummy?!!" so I went, and listened like crazy for rustlings of toilet paper, went back in at the appropriate time, and sure enough he'd done a poo! Sooo so pleased!!! Was so proud of him for telling me instead of just going in his nappy! And I feel a bit more confident that sooner or later he will realise that he needs a wee and tell me about that too!
Anyway, will leave off here for now with a photo (pre-haircut!!) of my two little men
Excuse mucky clothes lol. I gave him tomatoes or something equally mucky for lunch it seems that day and I rarely bother with bibs anymore!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)