Christopher didn't nurse at bedtime today. He didn't seem too bothered about it, and as he was being rather squirmy in the direction of the bedroom, I asked him did he want to go to sleep, or did he want gah-gee, and he pointed/lunged towards the room he shares with Robert now. So I went in there with him and said goodnight, tucked him up in bed, and he went to sleep.
Christopher is getting much better with sleep now. He will sleep through til 5ish, when Jonathan brings him in and he nurses. He tends to get a lot of milk then, and then he'll go back to sleep, and as he doesn't sleep well in bed with us, very squirmy/climby, I go and put him back in the boys room. In the evenings, he prefers to go to bed awake and drift off by himself. He is happy to do that too, and will stop nursing, wriggle himself off the bed and go and find Jonathan to say goodnight.
Robert dropped the evening feed fairly quickly too, and hasn't nursed to sleep (besides odd moments on the sofa) for so long I can't even remember.
Tomorrow we will be going to see my brother and his family, along with new (well, 2 month old) Amelia. I am quite looking forward to it, and Robert is SO. EXCITED! to be going to see his cousin Ewan! They are only a year apart in age, and seem to get on very well, and they are both high as kites when they get together!
The bags are mostly packed and ready to go in the car, just things like toothbrushes left to go in! I'm quite looking forward to the drive, it's a lengthy one, about 3 hours, so we can share the driving this time!
Showing posts with label breast feeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breast feeding. Show all posts
Friday, 2 March 2012
Saturday, 25 February 2012
A new cycle
Before I start, I just want to say thank you to those of you who have commented on the potty training and breastfeeding Robert posts. It's meant a lot to me that you took the time to support me and give me your opinions and thoughts on the matters. I really appreciate it!
Robert's potty training is starting again gently. I think the idea of a reward for being trained is a little overwhelming for him, so we are stepping back from charts, and reward presents, and just taking each wee, each day as it comes, and seeing what happens. We are having some success, still accidents most days but he is getting on very well and we are simply getting on with it, putting new pants on, and for successes, he's getting lots of verbal praise and lots of acknowledgement, and he seems happy with that.
With regards to the breastfeeding him, I have decided for now to limit it to mornings only, and while he asks still fairly often throughout the day, sometimes I will remind him that it's only for mornings, and other times I offer him cuddles, or a drink or a snack instead. I think when he is comfortable with that, or at least asking less often, I will broach with him the idea of weaning, and see if he will be willing to make that step with me.
Onto other things, mainly my cycles and our TTC, the fat lady did well and truly sing, and I even checked afterwards that it wasn't a false one, and it was negative even after the period had finished. So I am not pregnant. Around CD 8 I started feeling twinges and pinching sensations, and seemed to get lots of CM. Which seems way too early for me. And would be something like a 22 day cycle if that is the case, which it probably isn't.
On the other hand, if I do ovulate around the normal time, and have a somewhat normal cycle of 30-32 ish days, and get pregnant, my due date will be scarily close to Robert's birthday... To be honest I'm probably just reading too much into everything! For now, I think a step back is prudent. Besides which, I know "timing babies" isn't to everyone's tastes, for some it's a luxury they can't afford, but it's getting to that time when we are busiest for birthdays and other celebrations. It would be a bit better to leave conceiving until April earliest really, but then that would put me in the first trimester when we are going away on holiday. And that just is NOT good timing, as even though the boys' pregnancies were both very kind on me in the earlier stages and sickness wise, there's no guarantee that the same will happen the third time. I think stepping back is definitely best if I don't conceive this month. And if it happens during that time... I guess it would be one of those things that was meant to happen!
Robert's potty training is starting again gently. I think the idea of a reward for being trained is a little overwhelming for him, so we are stepping back from charts, and reward presents, and just taking each wee, each day as it comes, and seeing what happens. We are having some success, still accidents most days but he is getting on very well and we are simply getting on with it, putting new pants on, and for successes, he's getting lots of verbal praise and lots of acknowledgement, and he seems happy with that.
With regards to the breastfeeding him, I have decided for now to limit it to mornings only, and while he asks still fairly often throughout the day, sometimes I will remind him that it's only for mornings, and other times I offer him cuddles, or a drink or a snack instead. I think when he is comfortable with that, or at least asking less often, I will broach with him the idea of weaning, and see if he will be willing to make that step with me.
Onto other things, mainly my cycles and our TTC, the fat lady did well and truly sing, and I even checked afterwards that it wasn't a false one, and it was negative even after the period had finished. So I am not pregnant. Around CD 8 I started feeling twinges and pinching sensations, and seemed to get lots of CM. Which seems way too early for me. And would be something like a 22 day cycle if that is the case, which it probably isn't.
On the other hand, if I do ovulate around the normal time, and have a somewhat normal cycle of 30-32 ish days, and get pregnant, my due date will be scarily close to Robert's birthday... To be honest I'm probably just reading too much into everything! For now, I think a step back is prudent. Besides which, I know "timing babies" isn't to everyone's tastes, for some it's a luxury they can't afford, but it's getting to that time when we are busiest for birthdays and other celebrations. It would be a bit better to leave conceiving until April earliest really, but then that would put me in the first trimester when we are going away on holiday. And that just is NOT good timing, as even though the boys' pregnancies were both very kind on me in the earlier stages and sickness wise, there's no guarantee that the same will happen the third time. I think stepping back is definitely best if I don't conceive this month. And if it happens during that time... I guess it would be one of those things that was meant to happen!
Monday, 20 February 2012
Reaching the end of a mutually desired breastfeeding relationship
When I first set out on my breastfeeding journey with Robert, I was grateful to make it to a week.
With him spending the first 5 days of his life in SCBU, his supplementation with formula in his first few days, my inability to express ANYTHING for him (due to immediate post natal stress and trauma, I had no real drive to do it), and bonding struggles.
As the weeks went on, I struggled with my new role of "mum", struggled with the whole issue surrounding his birth and delivery, with his time in hospital.
Most of the time, breastfeeding was ok. But in the evenings, it was a nightmare. With me literally pulling my hair out in frustration over his bad latching, my sore nipples, and a husband who did NOT know what to do, he came out with the F word. Not to say it doesn't have its place, but in my mind, I did NOT want my baby getting any more formula. And I could work through another night, and another night after that. It was around 4 or 5 weeks old that I began expressing a bottle of milk for Robert to have in the evenings. I so badly wanted to continue to breastfeed my baby, I guess my initial goal was 6 months, and I was still only at a month, when Jonathan mentioned formula. I knew that even supplementing one bottle a day could be the start of a slippery slope and end up in a struggling milk supply and a baby weaned onto formula. So began the expressing. Just one bottle a day.
And this, I believe, saved our breastfeeding relationship. 6 months came and went, and by the time he was 7 months old or so, he stopped having expressed milk and was entirely breastfed.
Breastfeeding was finally easy, the hardest bit was over! I made it!
Fast forward to a year old, to 2 years old, to 3 years old, and Robert is still being breastfed. I NEVER ever EVER thought I would be breastfeeding a 3 year old. Hell, I never even thought I'd be feeding a TWO year old. But here I am, Robert is 3 years and 2 months old and still nurses at LEAST once, usually twice, and occasionally 3+ times a day. It winds me up when people say that children his age don't "need" it anymore. They are of course speaking nutritionally, that they are capable of eating a full and complete diet of foods away from mum. Which is true, he is capable of eating and drinking all his needs away from my breasts. But most of these people will agree that a cup of cows milk is a healthy or, in some people's opinion, necessary part of a small child's diet. COWS milk? But not HUMAN milk? You see people, stuffing their faces with a donut, and saying between mouthfuls that he's "too old" for that, that he "doesn't need that".
Anyway, I digress, I have always, past a certain age, where I seem to get raised eyebrows from family members (I never get more than that, as I, in a pre-emptive strike, tell people that I believe that nursing is the right thing for my child, and that I will continue to do so as long as we both mutually desire to. I do NOT want to be nursing a 4 year old. Part of me has hoped for some time that Robert would self wean, but he hasn't even SLOWED DOWN yet, and lately he has been asking MANY times a day. He is never really upset if I say no, yet if he starts to nurse and I need to go and do something (like get Christopher to bed), tantrums will ensue if I have to cut the session short. I say no more often than I say yes. A LOT more often. Now I know that I could try other tactics to get him to slow down. Some people swear by offering LOTS, so that he just doesn't ask anymore and he knows it's not "off bounds". Some go by a "don't offer, don't refuse". I cannot do that one. He would nurse 5 or 6 times a day or more. I don't have the energy to do that, and if Robert nurses more than a short while during the day, I start to get fidgetty, and my skin starts to crawl.
This morning I got up before he woke up, and even though he always always has a morning feed, I didn't this morning, despite him asking me if he could have some. I am just at that stage, where I want him now to be DONE. It will take a while I am sure to work out the best way. But we will get there.
With him spending the first 5 days of his life in SCBU, his supplementation with formula in his first few days, my inability to express ANYTHING for him (due to immediate post natal stress and trauma, I had no real drive to do it), and bonding struggles.
As the weeks went on, I struggled with my new role of "mum", struggled with the whole issue surrounding his birth and delivery, with his time in hospital.
Most of the time, breastfeeding was ok. But in the evenings, it was a nightmare. With me literally pulling my hair out in frustration over his bad latching, my sore nipples, and a husband who did NOT know what to do, he came out with the F word. Not to say it doesn't have its place, but in my mind, I did NOT want my baby getting any more formula. And I could work through another night, and another night after that. It was around 4 or 5 weeks old that I began expressing a bottle of milk for Robert to have in the evenings. I so badly wanted to continue to breastfeed my baby, I guess my initial goal was 6 months, and I was still only at a month, when Jonathan mentioned formula. I knew that even supplementing one bottle a day could be the start of a slippery slope and end up in a struggling milk supply and a baby weaned onto formula. So began the expressing. Just one bottle a day.
And this, I believe, saved our breastfeeding relationship. 6 months came and went, and by the time he was 7 months old or so, he stopped having expressed milk and was entirely breastfed.
Breastfeeding was finally easy, the hardest bit was over! I made it!
Fast forward to a year old, to 2 years old, to 3 years old, and Robert is still being breastfed. I NEVER ever EVER thought I would be breastfeeding a 3 year old. Hell, I never even thought I'd be feeding a TWO year old. But here I am, Robert is 3 years and 2 months old and still nurses at LEAST once, usually twice, and occasionally 3+ times a day. It winds me up when people say that children his age don't "need" it anymore. They are of course speaking nutritionally, that they are capable of eating a full and complete diet of foods away from mum. Which is true, he is capable of eating and drinking all his needs away from my breasts. But most of these people will agree that a cup of cows milk is a healthy or, in some people's opinion, necessary part of a small child's diet. COWS milk? But not HUMAN milk? You see people, stuffing their faces with a donut, and saying between mouthfuls that he's "too old" for that, that he "doesn't need that".
Anyway, I digress, I have always, past a certain age, where I seem to get raised eyebrows from family members (I never get more than that, as I, in a pre-emptive strike, tell people that I believe that nursing is the right thing for my child, and that I will continue to do so as long as we both mutually desire to. I do NOT want to be nursing a 4 year old. Part of me has hoped for some time that Robert would self wean, but he hasn't even SLOWED DOWN yet, and lately he has been asking MANY times a day. He is never really upset if I say no, yet if he starts to nurse and I need to go and do something (like get Christopher to bed), tantrums will ensue if I have to cut the session short. I say no more often than I say yes. A LOT more often. Now I know that I could try other tactics to get him to slow down. Some people swear by offering LOTS, so that he just doesn't ask anymore and he knows it's not "off bounds". Some go by a "don't offer, don't refuse". I cannot do that one. He would nurse 5 or 6 times a day or more. I don't have the energy to do that, and if Robert nurses more than a short while during the day, I start to get fidgetty, and my skin starts to crawl.
This morning I got up before he woke up, and even though he always always has a morning feed, I didn't this morning, despite him asking me if he could have some. I am just at that stage, where I want him now to be DONE. It will take a while I am sure to work out the best way. But we will get there.
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Crying It Out
I remember writing a while ago, some time early April saying I thought I had ovulated, and would be surprised if my period hadn't shown up by May. Well, it's now the middle of May, and still no period. I have also taken a pregnancy test, and I am not pregnant. The last time we could possibly have made a baby before I took the test was a long enough time previously that I felt confident that the answer would be correct. Soo.. I don't know what was up with that, just odd niggles I guess! Still, the longer without one the better I think, and seeing as Christopher is about 7.5 months old, that's fine by me! Robert was 11 months when my period returned, and he had been nightweaned for a few months by then.
Christopher is not nightweaned yet, but we will be nightweaning him gradually like we did Robert. I have read a lot of gentle parenting blogs, which advocate breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, cloth nappies, BLW, etc etc. And while I can see why people want to let their child learn to sleep by themselves in their own time, I personally needed to nightwean Robert for my own sanity, especially as when he got to 8 months old and was starting to wake hourly again, I just could not handle that! And while I am coping with motherhood-to-two better than I did with motherhood-to-one, I think the fact that I have two to look after would make me be in need of my sleep, especially since one is a very independantly-minded toddler! I think that in every aspect of parenting, we all just find our own way. Whether we do lots of research or little to none, we all do the best job we can, and sometimes I think it is important to remember that.
Why is it then, that as a pretty well-researched mother (at least I believe so) I sometimes read things or hear ways of parenting and cringe? Perhaps not at what is being done, but at the reasoning or the justification. The example I am thinking of right now was a discussion on someone's status about CIO. Someone replied saying that they did it with their baby, and after a week (a WEEK!) they finally "learned that bedtime meant bedtime". I read that, and my heart drooped a little for the baby, and my initial thoughts were "no, your baby learned that no-one would come no matter how distressed they were and how long they cried for." I have no doubt that this person loves their baby more than anything, and that they felt that CIO was the only option, but to me it just feels so harsh on a baby, I can't help but think how scared the baby must feel, in the dark and alone, desperately wanting to see their mummy and know she is still there, that they are safe, and no-one comes to get them.
I think what I find saddest is that I read so many people saying "I was in tears listening to them scream". How can anything that feels so WRONG possibly be right? What has happened to mother's instinct?
If you want to get to that Magical Land of Uninterrupted Sleep, there are several paths you can take. You can take the shortest route so you get there faster, but the road is made of broken glass, nails and shards of rock, and you are barefoot. You get to your destination in a fraction of the time than if you went on one of the other paths, but it is a journey filled with anguish and pain, and by the time you get there you have scars you will never get rid of. Or you can take one of the longer paths. The paths consist of sand, grass, smooth paving slabs, but they are significantly longer journeys than the short path. You reach your destination eventually, probably more tired than if you had taken the short path, but you had a relatively easy and painless journey, and no scars to show for it.
Christopher is not nightweaned yet, but we will be nightweaning him gradually like we did Robert. I have read a lot of gentle parenting blogs, which advocate breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, cloth nappies, BLW, etc etc. And while I can see why people want to let their child learn to sleep by themselves in their own time, I personally needed to nightwean Robert for my own sanity, especially as when he got to 8 months old and was starting to wake hourly again, I just could not handle that! And while I am coping with motherhood-to-two better than I did with motherhood-to-one, I think the fact that I have two to look after would make me be in need of my sleep, especially since one is a very independantly-minded toddler! I think that in every aspect of parenting, we all just find our own way. Whether we do lots of research or little to none, we all do the best job we can, and sometimes I think it is important to remember that.
Why is it then, that as a pretty well-researched mother (at least I believe so) I sometimes read things or hear ways of parenting and cringe? Perhaps not at what is being done, but at the reasoning or the justification. The example I am thinking of right now was a discussion on someone's status about CIO. Someone replied saying that they did it with their baby, and after a week (a WEEK!) they finally "learned that bedtime meant bedtime". I read that, and my heart drooped a little for the baby, and my initial thoughts were "no, your baby learned that no-one would come no matter how distressed they were and how long they cried for." I have no doubt that this person loves their baby more than anything, and that they felt that CIO was the only option, but to me it just feels so harsh on a baby, I can't help but think how scared the baby must feel, in the dark and alone, desperately wanting to see their mummy and know she is still there, that they are safe, and no-one comes to get them.
I think what I find saddest is that I read so many people saying "I was in tears listening to them scream". How can anything that feels so WRONG possibly be right? What has happened to mother's instinct?
If you want to get to that Magical Land of Uninterrupted Sleep, there are several paths you can take. You can take the shortest route so you get there faster, but the road is made of broken glass, nails and shards of rock, and you are barefoot. You get to your destination in a fraction of the time than if you went on one of the other paths, but it is a journey filled with anguish and pain, and by the time you get there you have scars you will never get rid of. Or you can take one of the longer paths. The paths consist of sand, grass, smooth paving slabs, but they are significantly longer journeys than the short path. You reach your destination eventually, probably more tired than if you had taken the short path, but you had a relatively easy and painless journey, and no scars to show for it.
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Updates on the kiddies etc.
Well it seems that next week we will be making our first big car trip with Christopher. My grandad died last week, he was in his 90s, suffering with dementia, along with trips in and out of hospital due to his unexplained falls and subsequent injuries. His funeral is next Wednesday, so we will be making the journey with Christopher to London to attend. We're hoping maybe to leave Robert with my in-laws. Christopher will be fine, either asleep, feeding, or happy looking around while having cuddles. And if for some reason he does get inconsolable, Jonathan can take him out.
Anyway...
Christopher is still 100% breastfed. By this point in time, Robert had already had mashed banana and baby rice, before we decided it'd be easier to keep him on BM for a while longer. Christopher has had nothing but milk, but he seems more than happy with that arrangement. Unlike Robert, who was given a bottle of expressed milk daily from around 5 weeks old, Christopher was given his first bottle maybe at 6 or 7 weeks old, and only one other bottle since then, both by his grandma. We tried him on a bottle of expressed a couple of weeks ago, while I was cooking, but he wasn't having any of it! For now, that arrangement suits me fine, I'm not desperate to give him a bottle, and I'm not desperate for a night out, or anything like that. Breastfeeding Christopher has gone like a dream. It really has! After the early struggles with Robert, I didn't think I'd be lucky to have an easy experience of breastfeeding right from the start. The main issues right now are sucking on fingers WHILE nursing (ouchhhh!) and him grabbing a handful of breast, and yanking it away from his mouth while still oh so very much latched on! (double ouch!)
He is becoming more needy as time goes on, he wants more and more attention understandably, and as such I am beginning to feel a bit more pulled in 3 directions (juggling Robert's needs, Christopher's increasing needs, and household needs - bare essentials such as washing up, laundry, and vacuuming once the floor is under a thin sheet of cat hair and crumbs!). He is still a very content baby generally though, and loves his play mat, both on his back and tummy time.
He has started to give us the biggest chuckles over the last few weeks, which is just so so cute! He laughs at a few things. Tickling his chest sometimes works, as does making funny noises to him, tickling his mouth and chin with a cloth, and also his grandad has made him laugh singing Ralph McTell songs :)
He is becoming more and more interested in his big brother, and loves watching his big brother playing. If Robert is doing a table top activity, I prop him up on the sofa looking over the arm so he can watch Robert.
That last photo was taken over 6 weeks ago now. I can hardly believe that my little boy is coming up for 5 months old already, he will turn 5 months on the 25th February!
His head control is very good now. He sleeps on his front, and has done since he was tiny, because he slept better like that. So when he wakes, he will lift his head up as high as it will go, and look around for a while! He gets plenty of tummy time! ;) We've started putting him in the door bouncer, and just like his big brother, he LOVES it! He really enjoys the feeling of the floor under his feet, and he gets such a look of excitement and glee on his face when he is in there!
I just love this little boy so much, he lights up my day, and even if I am tired from the early wake up calls, if I have the little man on my chest, and he looks straight into my eyes and BEAMS at me with that gorgeous dimpled grin of his, how can I not smile back? He is just so precious, and I am incredibly lucky to have him in my life.
Right now, he is on the cusp of rolling over. He is trying desperately to do it, he arches his back and looks up above his head, and rocks. He did at first roll over to his left, now I see him do it more to his right. I can't believe my baby boy is beginning to get mobile! I know it's still a way off crawling, but still, rolling! My baby! You cannot grow up, I forbid it! ;) I find myself excited yet a little sad with each new milestone my baby boy reaches. I know in my heart I can persuade Jonathan he wants a third, yet he is still quietly protesting expanding our family, and pointing out all the "bad" bits of having a baby, in an attempt to make me see that I really don't want another child, that 2 is enough, but it's not working sorry Jonathan! ;)
Right... Robert!
Robert is now 26 months old, or 2 years 2 months ;) He is learning more about his individuality every day, and learning new things all the time. My heart just squishes with love for him. He is now stringing together more and more complex sentences, although without words like "the", "a", "and" and so on. And all verbs in the present tense.
Yesterday I went out into the kitchen to start his dinner, he ran after me, calling loudly "Mama! Mama! Mamaaaa!" when I answered him, he sauntered into the kitchen with a huge grin on his face, and said "Robert do two trumps!" lol!
His pronounciation is still very baby-ish with the vast majority of consonant sounds at the beginning of words missed off, but more and more words are becoming recognisable (not just to us), and his vocabulary is really quite astounding! I really would not know where to start making a list on the words he knows, I would estimate in the hundreds.
He is also showing more and more understanding of our speech to him, and is clearly thinking more about what we are saying. We can ask him a series of questions with yes/no answers, and ask a few for which the answer is yes, then throw in one which isn't the case, for example we will ask him things like "is Robert wearing blue trousers?" "is teddy sitting on the table?" "is Mummy wearing glasses?" to which the answer is all "yes", and then throw in "is daddy wearing a hat?" which he wouldn't be, and he'd look at Jonathan, pause for a brief second, and then say "No!" in a funny lilting tone of voice.
He rarely asks to hold Christopher anymore. He prefers to show him his toys, and watch him, and sometimes when playing his favourite game (bringing a toy up, and speaking as the toy, saying hello to me) he will "make" Christopher say hello back. He used to do this by grabbing his head and wiggling it about as though he was talking (like he does with his toys) but I have since persuaded him a much better way is to wave his hand instead ;)
He has started to show a bit of toddler boistrousness lately too, in throwing and banging his toys. When we went over to the in-laws this weekend, he started doing it with the brick trolley there, banging it into the door purposefully, and I was SO impressed with how my mother-in-law handled it. She took the brick trolley away, and went into the hallway with it, Robert followed her, tugging at the trolley while screaming. Then she got down, and said to Robert something along the lines of "I am taking this away because you were banging it into the door. I don't want my door to get broken, but if you are careful with the trolley and do not bang it anymore, you can carry on playing with it." And when Robert whimpered "yeah" she gave it back to him, and he was SO careful with it bless him :)
I think it doesn't help that as Christopher is getting bigger and needing more attention, Robert isn't getting as much attention as he needs. It is something I am going to have to focus on presently, to make sure things don't get out of hand. Nip it in the bud so to speak. Something I do want to try and do is to start planning a proper activity with Robert every day, something for him to look forward to, something to keep his mind active. Tomorrow, I think we will make biscuits. He loves his playdough, so I'm sure he will love rolling out and cutting biscuits with his playdough cutters!
Sometimes I look at him and he seems so grown up and big, and when I think he's 2, part of me thinks that's really old (comparing it to his 4 month old baby brother!) and then I think actually that's still really little! When he is nursing he definitely appears on the older side, because I am more used to seeing a baby there! But I am still content to continue for the time being. Jonathan did ask me a while ago when I was planning on stopping feeding Robert. I didn't have an answer for him then, and still don't. As long as it feels "right" I suppose. He is still gaining from the closeness it provides, as am I. In some ways, I do see it as a healthy snack for him! Sometimes I panic and think "oh my goodness, I've not offered Robert some water all morning!!" and then realise that he's actually nursed twice in that time so he has had a drink! ;) Plus there is the more selfish weight-loss issue too. ;)
But anyway, back on topic, it's photos like this that make me realise just how little he still is.
I love them both so much it hurts sometimes. :)
Anyway...
Christopher is still 100% breastfed. By this point in time, Robert had already had mashed banana and baby rice, before we decided it'd be easier to keep him on BM for a while longer. Christopher has had nothing but milk, but he seems more than happy with that arrangement. Unlike Robert, who was given a bottle of expressed milk daily from around 5 weeks old, Christopher was given his first bottle maybe at 6 or 7 weeks old, and only one other bottle since then, both by his grandma. We tried him on a bottle of expressed a couple of weeks ago, while I was cooking, but he wasn't having any of it! For now, that arrangement suits me fine, I'm not desperate to give him a bottle, and I'm not desperate for a night out, or anything like that. Breastfeeding Christopher has gone like a dream. It really has! After the early struggles with Robert, I didn't think I'd be lucky to have an easy experience of breastfeeding right from the start. The main issues right now are sucking on fingers WHILE nursing (ouchhhh!) and him grabbing a handful of breast, and yanking it away from his mouth while still oh so very much latched on! (double ouch!)
He is becoming more needy as time goes on, he wants more and more attention understandably, and as such I am beginning to feel a bit more pulled in 3 directions (juggling Robert's needs, Christopher's increasing needs, and household needs - bare essentials such as washing up, laundry, and vacuuming once the floor is under a thin sheet of cat hair and crumbs!). He is still a very content baby generally though, and loves his play mat, both on his back and tummy time.
He has started to give us the biggest chuckles over the last few weeks, which is just so so cute! He laughs at a few things. Tickling his chest sometimes works, as does making funny noises to him, tickling his mouth and chin with a cloth, and also his grandad has made him laugh singing Ralph McTell songs :)
He is becoming more and more interested in his big brother, and loves watching his big brother playing. If Robert is doing a table top activity, I prop him up on the sofa looking over the arm so he can watch Robert.
That last photo was taken over 6 weeks ago now. I can hardly believe that my little boy is coming up for 5 months old already, he will turn 5 months on the 25th February!
His head control is very good now. He sleeps on his front, and has done since he was tiny, because he slept better like that. So when he wakes, he will lift his head up as high as it will go, and look around for a while! He gets plenty of tummy time! ;) We've started putting him in the door bouncer, and just like his big brother, he LOVES it! He really enjoys the feeling of the floor under his feet, and he gets such a look of excitement and glee on his face when he is in there!
I just love this little boy so much, he lights up my day, and even if I am tired from the early wake up calls, if I have the little man on my chest, and he looks straight into my eyes and BEAMS at me with that gorgeous dimpled grin of his, how can I not smile back? He is just so precious, and I am incredibly lucky to have him in my life.
Right now, he is on the cusp of rolling over. He is trying desperately to do it, he arches his back and looks up above his head, and rocks. He did at first roll over to his left, now I see him do it more to his right. I can't believe my baby boy is beginning to get mobile! I know it's still a way off crawling, but still, rolling! My baby! You cannot grow up, I forbid it! ;) I find myself excited yet a little sad with each new milestone my baby boy reaches. I know in my heart I can persuade Jonathan he wants a third, yet he is still quietly protesting expanding our family, and pointing out all the "bad" bits of having a baby, in an attempt to make me see that I really don't want another child, that 2 is enough, but it's not working sorry Jonathan! ;)
Right... Robert!
Robert is now 26 months old, or 2 years 2 months ;) He is learning more about his individuality every day, and learning new things all the time. My heart just squishes with love for him. He is now stringing together more and more complex sentences, although without words like "the", "a", "and" and so on. And all verbs in the present tense.
Yesterday I went out into the kitchen to start his dinner, he ran after me, calling loudly "Mama! Mama! Mamaaaa!" when I answered him, he sauntered into the kitchen with a huge grin on his face, and said "Robert do two trumps!" lol!
His pronounciation is still very baby-ish with the vast majority of consonant sounds at the beginning of words missed off, but more and more words are becoming recognisable (not just to us), and his vocabulary is really quite astounding! I really would not know where to start making a list on the words he knows, I would estimate in the hundreds.
He is also showing more and more understanding of our speech to him, and is clearly thinking more about what we are saying. We can ask him a series of questions with yes/no answers, and ask a few for which the answer is yes, then throw in one which isn't the case, for example we will ask him things like "is Robert wearing blue trousers?" "is teddy sitting on the table?" "is Mummy wearing glasses?" to which the answer is all "yes", and then throw in "is daddy wearing a hat?" which he wouldn't be, and he'd look at Jonathan, pause for a brief second, and then say "No!" in a funny lilting tone of voice.
He rarely asks to hold Christopher anymore. He prefers to show him his toys, and watch him, and sometimes when playing his favourite game (bringing a toy up, and speaking as the toy, saying hello to me) he will "make" Christopher say hello back. He used to do this by grabbing his head and wiggling it about as though he was talking (like he does with his toys) but I have since persuaded him a much better way is to wave his hand instead ;)
He has started to show a bit of toddler boistrousness lately too, in throwing and banging his toys. When we went over to the in-laws this weekend, he started doing it with the brick trolley there, banging it into the door purposefully, and I was SO impressed with how my mother-in-law handled it. She took the brick trolley away, and went into the hallway with it, Robert followed her, tugging at the trolley while screaming. Then she got down, and said to Robert something along the lines of "I am taking this away because you were banging it into the door. I don't want my door to get broken, but if you are careful with the trolley and do not bang it anymore, you can carry on playing with it." And when Robert whimpered "yeah" she gave it back to him, and he was SO careful with it bless him :)
I think it doesn't help that as Christopher is getting bigger and needing more attention, Robert isn't getting as much attention as he needs. It is something I am going to have to focus on presently, to make sure things don't get out of hand. Nip it in the bud so to speak. Something I do want to try and do is to start planning a proper activity with Robert every day, something for him to look forward to, something to keep his mind active. Tomorrow, I think we will make biscuits. He loves his playdough, so I'm sure he will love rolling out and cutting biscuits with his playdough cutters!
Sometimes I look at him and he seems so grown up and big, and when I think he's 2, part of me thinks that's really old (comparing it to his 4 month old baby brother!) and then I think actually that's still really little! When he is nursing he definitely appears on the older side, because I am more used to seeing a baby there! But I am still content to continue for the time being. Jonathan did ask me a while ago when I was planning on stopping feeding Robert. I didn't have an answer for him then, and still don't. As long as it feels "right" I suppose. He is still gaining from the closeness it provides, as am I. In some ways, I do see it as a healthy snack for him! Sometimes I panic and think "oh my goodness, I've not offered Robert some water all morning!!" and then realise that he's actually nursed twice in that time so he has had a drink! ;) Plus there is the more selfish weight-loss issue too. ;)
But anyway, back on topic, it's photos like this that make me realise just how little he still is.
I love them both so much it hurts sometimes. :)
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Drinking in pure love
We were laid on my bed, just Christopher and me. His warm soft body still and snug against my body. He was coming up to bedtime, and was getting sleepy yet still alert and aware of everything. He took the breast willingly, and started suckling away. Every now and then our eyes would meet, and he would break into his beautiful grin, still with my breast in his mouth, as if to tell me that there was nowhere else he'd rather be.
My milk let down, and he started drinking in earnest, sucking and swallowing, and again, his eyes would lock into mine, still drinking, and I could feel then, as he nursed, that he was drinking pure love, my gift to my baby, and my gift to myself. Tears of joy burning my eyes, watching his eyelids grow heavy, I realise that I truly am a mother, and in that moment in time, laying there next to my sweet baby boy, there really is nothing else I'd rather be.
My milk let down, and he started drinking in earnest, sucking and swallowing, and again, his eyes would lock into mine, still drinking, and I could feel then, as he nursed, that he was drinking pure love, my gift to my baby, and my gift to myself. Tears of joy burning my eyes, watching his eyelids grow heavy, I realise that I truly am a mother, and in that moment in time, laying there next to my sweet baby boy, there really is nothing else I'd rather be.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
I can see why...
I can see why some women who aren't confident in breastfeeding can get pressured into thinking their milk isn't good enough sometimes.
This morning, I went to the baby stay and play with Christopher, while Robert spent the morning as usual with his grandparents. The Surestart ladies put the scales out, and I weighed Christopher on them for the first time since he was about 10 weeks old. Four weeks ago he weighed 12lb with his nappy and vest on. This morning, I was somewhat disheartened to find that he weighed just 12lb 9oz, so a gain of a little more than 9oz in 4 weeks. I am sure that if it had been the health visitor who had weighed him, there would be questions regarding the quality/quantity of my milk.
Now, I know that Christopher is a different baby to Robert, who, from the age of 2 weeks, climbed steadily on the 50th centile line til gone 1 year, and he is now 75th+. Christopher went from 25th at 2 weeks, to 50th at 5 weeks, back down to 25th at 10 weeks, now he's under the 25th (half way between the lines) at 14 weeks. He is getting plenty of wet nappies... not so many pooey ones. He saves all his poos for a day or two each week spaced fairly evenly. Before I had him weighed I simply thought maybe he was processing his milk fairly efficiently. Now I am wondering if, despite tandem feeding and therefore having plenty of milk, am I doing something wrong? Am I letting C sleep too much? Am I letting Robert have too much milk (or too soon - before Christopher is due a feed)? Am I not getting enough hindmilk into Christopher?
After he went to sleep at 4pm-ish, I woke him up after I had run Robert's bath, around 7pm. Fed him while Robert sat in the bath, then put him in the bath too. Then after his bath, I fed him again as he was wrapped in the towel. And then he fed again after he was dressed.
Am I being too paranoid? Or should I try and make sure that Christopher always has first dibs - let him have his fill of one breast and then put him on the other, and let Robert go on Christopher's first? I tend to just let Robert climb up and help himself to the other one when C starts to feed.
At what point should I start to worry and re-think my feeding routines?
This morning, I went to the baby stay and play with Christopher, while Robert spent the morning as usual with his grandparents. The Surestart ladies put the scales out, and I weighed Christopher on them for the first time since he was about 10 weeks old. Four weeks ago he weighed 12lb with his nappy and vest on. This morning, I was somewhat disheartened to find that he weighed just 12lb 9oz, so a gain of a little more than 9oz in 4 weeks. I am sure that if it had been the health visitor who had weighed him, there would be questions regarding the quality/quantity of my milk.
Now, I know that Christopher is a different baby to Robert, who, from the age of 2 weeks, climbed steadily on the 50th centile line til gone 1 year, and he is now 75th+. Christopher went from 25th at 2 weeks, to 50th at 5 weeks, back down to 25th at 10 weeks, now he's under the 25th (half way between the lines) at 14 weeks. He is getting plenty of wet nappies... not so many pooey ones. He saves all his poos for a day or two each week spaced fairly evenly. Before I had him weighed I simply thought maybe he was processing his milk fairly efficiently. Now I am wondering if, despite tandem feeding and therefore having plenty of milk, am I doing something wrong? Am I letting C sleep too much? Am I letting Robert have too much milk (or too soon - before Christopher is due a feed)? Am I not getting enough hindmilk into Christopher?
After he went to sleep at 4pm-ish, I woke him up after I had run Robert's bath, around 7pm. Fed him while Robert sat in the bath, then put him in the bath too. Then after his bath, I fed him again as he was wrapped in the towel. And then he fed again after he was dressed.
Am I being too paranoid? Or should I try and make sure that Christopher always has first dibs - let him have his fill of one breast and then put him on the other, and let Robert go on Christopher's first? I tend to just let Robert climb up and help himself to the other one when C starts to feed.
At what point should I start to worry and re-think my feeding routines?
Friday, 5 November 2010
Robert's 2 year checkup.
Well, both doctors we've seen with Robert since his birth was in... and by some fluke, we got to see the woman doctor who we can actually understand! Woop! She hadn't seen him since he was 6 months old, and she noticed the "new addition" and said "I hope he had a better entrance than Robert?" or words to that effect lol. She asked if we had any concerns, and we mentioned his pronounciation on words, and mentioned that the other doctor kept thinking his hearing was impared and his speech was abnormally slow, anyway, she was very pleased with Robert, and could tell he had progressed since he was last seen, and was confident he would continue to do so (as are we, I might add), and following observing him with the toys they keep in the room for the children to play with she said he was doing everything she would expect a 2 year old to be doing, and that even though his speech isn't as good as some 2 year olds', he is in the normal range! (Which I know many of you have already told me, but why didn't that other doctor?? Grrr!) And she said what I have thought as well, that with his pronounciation, that will gradually get better with correct modelling. Anyway, she's discharged him, so we don't need to do hearing tests, or speech therapy, or anything, but she said to keep an eye on him and see how he is in a year's time, and if we still have concerns, to speak to the health visitor who can make a referral. But if he does continue to progress as he does it shouldn't be a problem. :)
Robert loves his baby brother so much. He constantly wants to cuddle him, and gets very annoyed with us if we tell him no (for example if he's sleeping and we don't want to disturb him). He loves cuddling Christopher (who he calls "Brooo-ah" - I'm thinking this is his word for brother, either that or Christopher. I can't be sure, I know it sounds more like brother, but then some of the words he uses sound nothing like what they should be if you know what I mean!
Christopher is now 6 weeks old (well, as of tomorrow) and he has been smiling for a few weeks now. They are quite few and far between at the moment, but boy, do they melt my heart when he graces us with one :)
Soooo so cute and precious! He is just so edible and smells divine! And it's strange, but he and Robert (as a newborn) look so alike that I think a bit of me cannot in my mind distinguish between the two of them. Sometimes I look at him and in my head, without realising, call him Robert, and then in a way I sort of double take when I look up and see almost-2-year-old Robert standing there or sitting and playing. Other times I look at him and see the things that make Christopher.. well, Christopher! The shadow of the ridge on his nose which was so pronounced at birth which Robert never had, the fuzzy bit at the front of his head where his hair should be but it's either come away, or was never there in the first place. The shape of the eyes which are so subtley different from Robert's.
I can't believe that it's been 6 weeks since I gave birth. It really has gone in a flash. I am so thrilled at how well I laboured and gave birth this time, and how well breastfeeding has gone. With all the struggles of the early weeks with Robert, the sheer determination that I WOULD breastfeed or die trying being the only thing keeping me going past 2-3 weeks.. the comparison is very stark. The only issues with breastfeeding so far have been the cluster feeds and growth spurts being SO. TIRING. But boy, never once have I resented picking him up and offering him my breast, as I did with Robert in the early weeks. And that difference has made everything so much easier.
Christopher is gaining weight much quicker than Robert did, partly due I think to tandem feeding, which has increased my supply greatly. Christopher gulps away, and something which I never imagined would happen to me (especially since my supply with Robert was simply "adequate"), splutters and coughs and comes off the breast gasping with his eyes wide in alarm as milk continues to gush. He has, also, a few times, cried with the alarm of getting too much milk. He has not yet grasped how to pause and not continue to suck while the milk is letting down! I have not pumped for a while. There are about 11oz of milk in the freezer, but unlike with Robert, I am not desperate to get Christopher onto bottles. I might well give him some, just for the sake of getting him used to bottles incase the need arises. (Like, for example, when Harry Potter 7 part 1 comes out later this month and we leave the boys with the in-laws to go see it!)
Anyway... wanted to mainly update on Robert's 2 year review. He's now on the 98th centile for weight (woahhh!!!??) but only the 75th for height. Strange, because he's not a chunky boy if you know what I mean! But it certainly shows he's got a good appetite lol! Can't believe my big little boy is going to be 2 so soon! He's getting all grown up! Good thing I have another tiny baby to snuggle!
Robert loves his baby brother so much. He constantly wants to cuddle him, and gets very annoyed with us if we tell him no (for example if he's sleeping and we don't want to disturb him). He loves cuddling Christopher (who he calls "Brooo-ah" - I'm thinking this is his word for brother, either that or Christopher. I can't be sure, I know it sounds more like brother, but then some of the words he uses sound nothing like what they should be if you know what I mean!
Christopher is now 6 weeks old (well, as of tomorrow) and he has been smiling for a few weeks now. They are quite few and far between at the moment, but boy, do they melt my heart when he graces us with one :)
Soooo so cute and precious! He is just so edible and smells divine! And it's strange, but he and Robert (as a newborn) look so alike that I think a bit of me cannot in my mind distinguish between the two of them. Sometimes I look at him and in my head, without realising, call him Robert, and then in a way I sort of double take when I look up and see almost-2-year-old Robert standing there or sitting and playing. Other times I look at him and see the things that make Christopher.. well, Christopher! The shadow of the ridge on his nose which was so pronounced at birth which Robert never had, the fuzzy bit at the front of his head where his hair should be but it's either come away, or was never there in the first place. The shape of the eyes which are so subtley different from Robert's.
I can't believe that it's been 6 weeks since I gave birth. It really has gone in a flash. I am so thrilled at how well I laboured and gave birth this time, and how well breastfeeding has gone. With all the struggles of the early weeks with Robert, the sheer determination that I WOULD breastfeed or die trying being the only thing keeping me going past 2-3 weeks.. the comparison is very stark. The only issues with breastfeeding so far have been the cluster feeds and growth spurts being SO. TIRING. But boy, never once have I resented picking him up and offering him my breast, as I did with Robert in the early weeks. And that difference has made everything so much easier.
Christopher is gaining weight much quicker than Robert did, partly due I think to tandem feeding, which has increased my supply greatly. Christopher gulps away, and something which I never imagined would happen to me (especially since my supply with Robert was simply "adequate"), splutters and coughs and comes off the breast gasping with his eyes wide in alarm as milk continues to gush. He has, also, a few times, cried with the alarm of getting too much milk. He has not yet grasped how to pause and not continue to suck while the milk is letting down! I have not pumped for a while. There are about 11oz of milk in the freezer, but unlike with Robert, I am not desperate to get Christopher onto bottles. I might well give him some, just for the sake of getting him used to bottles incase the need arises. (Like, for example, when Harry Potter 7 part 1 comes out later this month and we leave the boys with the in-laws to go see it!)
Anyway... wanted to mainly update on Robert's 2 year review. He's now on the 98th centile for weight (woahhh!!!??) but only the 75th for height. Strange, because he's not a chunky boy if you know what I mean! But it certainly shows he's got a good appetite lol! Can't believe my big little boy is going to be 2 so soon! He's getting all grown up! Good thing I have another tiny baby to snuggle!
Thursday, 30 September 2010
5 days old
I would have been 39 weeks pregnant today, but instead I have had my little Christopher here for 5 whole days :) We are slowly settling into a routine, getting our tactics sorted out for how to get a semi decent night's sleep. Robert if I remember rightly slept 5 hours at a time from when we got him home, but then he was 6 days old by the time we got him home so maybe.. just maybe! Hehe! Christopher last night slept for about 3 hours between feeds, which was better than the last two nights so fingers crossed for something similar tonight. I was awake though from 3am at least last night though with painfully engorged breasts, and so in the end I decided to get up, and hand express some. I again got 2oz, but from just the one breast that time and although it was still quite engorged I was at least able to get some sleep.
I have been using Robert as a pump when he's been awake and willing. He sometimes refuses if I offer, if the other thing on offer seems better at the time ;) This morning he nursed for a long time, emptying one breast and having a good go at the other, before Christopher woke up. He also nursed alongside Christopher during the day once, and another time when I was simply holding his baby brother he came and asked for milky. Then again this evening he nursed from both breasts so hopefully engorgement won't be as bad tonight. The first tandem feed showed that Robert was quite possessive over my breasts, he tried to pull Christopher off by his legs! But now he simply looks over from time to time, with interest, or indifference. He occasionally reaches over and holds Christopher's hand while nursing as well which is sweet :)
He seems to find Christopher very fascinating right now, and loves to sit and watch him, and although we've now told him not to touch Christopher's face, he does still now try and put his whole hand covering Christopher's face (which is slightly better than poking his eyes out I suppose, he doesn't cover it in a manner that would suffocate him). When I feed Robert on our bed with Christopher in the cot, if Christopher makes a noise, Robert will look up and smile as he watches his baby brother for a while before continuing to nurse :)
Sometimes I do see Robert in Christopher, but other times he looks completely different! I think because Christopher is sooo much smaller than Robert was at birth it is hard to see similarities, because Christopher's face is more wrinkled up.
Christopher was weighed today when the midwife came over. He has lost 7% of his birth weight which is in the acceptable limits, so now weighs a diddy 6lb 15oz. I never had a weighing with Robert at this stage, but he was weighed at 2 weeks and he was back to his birth weight exactly then. I do hope that Christopher gains back to his birth weight well by the time he's two weeks old. I guess over the next week he will be getting a fair amount of mature milk and will hopefully be less sleepy and will feed longer.
I'm starting to get some after pains now, I thought I'd skipped them as I didn't get anything really before today. That combined with I guess the drop of hormones and general "after birth" body changes has given me slight uneasy feelings, which I'm confident will pass although having remembered them with Robert it does worry me a little but I know I will be able to keep an eye on my feelings and Jonathan will be as well. The fact that I have had a much better birth experience and been able to bond straight away with Christopher, and the fact that it all isn't quite so "new" is comforting to me, and knowing that all I really have to do is take things one step at a time and everything will be ok. Those feelings did pass with Robert, and they will pass if I get them to any stage with Christopher as well.
Something which I will be starting off at is beginning to lose this weight. I might have mentioned before but I want to get down to 12 stone by this time next year, which only means me losing 39lb (I weighed in at 14 stone 11lb yesterday which I am pleased at, less than 3 stone to lose this year!) and will put me at a BMI at just into overweight rather than obese. Of course I might even lose more and be into the healthy range, but 12 stone is a goal I am happy with for now. My appetite isn't very big right now, normal sized meals leave me feeling bloated, so I might well not even be trying to lose weight properly and still managing to!
I am still nervous about my blood sugar, and whether or not my diabetes will stick around. Apparently it can take a few weeks for levels to get back to normal. This morning porridge left me with a reading of 7 which is good for diabetes but I can't remember what porridge used to do to my levels in pregnancy as I never had it very often. I'll be having another GTT in about 5 weeks time to find out if I do still have it, and I really hope I don't, obviously. Anyway will go for now, I'd quite like to sit down and relax with a nice cuppa before I think about waking up the little man. :)
I have been using Robert as a pump when he's been awake and willing. He sometimes refuses if I offer, if the other thing on offer seems better at the time ;) This morning he nursed for a long time, emptying one breast and having a good go at the other, before Christopher woke up. He also nursed alongside Christopher during the day once, and another time when I was simply holding his baby brother he came and asked for milky. Then again this evening he nursed from both breasts so hopefully engorgement won't be as bad tonight. The first tandem feed showed that Robert was quite possessive over my breasts, he tried to pull Christopher off by his legs! But now he simply looks over from time to time, with interest, or indifference. He occasionally reaches over and holds Christopher's hand while nursing as well which is sweet :)
He seems to find Christopher very fascinating right now, and loves to sit and watch him, and although we've now told him not to touch Christopher's face, he does still now try and put his whole hand covering Christopher's face (which is slightly better than poking his eyes out I suppose, he doesn't cover it in a manner that would suffocate him). When I feed Robert on our bed with Christopher in the cot, if Christopher makes a noise, Robert will look up and smile as he watches his baby brother for a while before continuing to nurse :)
Sometimes I do see Robert in Christopher, but other times he looks completely different! I think because Christopher is sooo much smaller than Robert was at birth it is hard to see similarities, because Christopher's face is more wrinkled up.
Christopher was weighed today when the midwife came over. He has lost 7% of his birth weight which is in the acceptable limits, so now weighs a diddy 6lb 15oz. I never had a weighing with Robert at this stage, but he was weighed at 2 weeks and he was back to his birth weight exactly then. I do hope that Christopher gains back to his birth weight well by the time he's two weeks old. I guess over the next week he will be getting a fair amount of mature milk and will hopefully be less sleepy and will feed longer.
I'm starting to get some after pains now, I thought I'd skipped them as I didn't get anything really before today. That combined with I guess the drop of hormones and general "after birth" body changes has given me slight uneasy feelings, which I'm confident will pass although having remembered them with Robert it does worry me a little but I know I will be able to keep an eye on my feelings and Jonathan will be as well. The fact that I have had a much better birth experience and been able to bond straight away with Christopher, and the fact that it all isn't quite so "new" is comforting to me, and knowing that all I really have to do is take things one step at a time and everything will be ok. Those feelings did pass with Robert, and they will pass if I get them to any stage with Christopher as well.
Something which I will be starting off at is beginning to lose this weight. I might have mentioned before but I want to get down to 12 stone by this time next year, which only means me losing 39lb (I weighed in at 14 stone 11lb yesterday which I am pleased at, less than 3 stone to lose this year!) and will put me at a BMI at just into overweight rather than obese. Of course I might even lose more and be into the healthy range, but 12 stone is a goal I am happy with for now. My appetite isn't very big right now, normal sized meals leave me feeling bloated, so I might well not even be trying to lose weight properly and still managing to!
I am still nervous about my blood sugar, and whether or not my diabetes will stick around. Apparently it can take a few weeks for levels to get back to normal. This morning porridge left me with a reading of 7 which is good for diabetes but I can't remember what porridge used to do to my levels in pregnancy as I never had it very often. I'll be having another GTT in about 5 weeks time to find out if I do still have it, and I really hope I don't, obviously. Anyway will go for now, I'd quite like to sit down and relax with a nice cuppa before I think about waking up the little man. :)
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
3 days old
Ahhh, well Christopher is 3 days old (well almost, half an hour or so til he is properly!). Tonight will be our second night at home and we are still trying to settle down and into a proper routine (well, as much as having a newborn around can have a routine!).
I had my first home visit from the midwife today, not my antenatal one unfortunately, but maybe I'll get to see Beverley later this week. She did of course turn up during Robert's nap (and also at a time we managed to get Christopher asleep in his cot!) grrr. She's happy enough with everything, except the fact that Christopher hadn't pooed since Monday morning (he has since done one - hurrah!) and she said if he hadn't done one by 9am tomorrow to phone up the community midwives office to arrange an extra home visit, but since he has pooed, all is well, for now :)
My milk has come in last night, it's still the "changing" milk so there isn't a HUGE amount of it, but there is enough to make my little man gulp away while feeding, and to produce MASSIVE burps lol! And definitely more of it than there was with Robert. Christopher now feeds for roughly half an hour at a go due to the increase in milk, compared to 1 hour+ (with tickles to keep him awake) while I was in hospital. My breasts have been very engorged today, even after Robert going on one for a long time they still feel hard and sore. So hopefully they'll settle down soon, but I did express some milk earlier in the evening, and I got about 2oz, just under, which I think is pretty good going for 3 days post partum!
Christopher has just woken, and Jonathan's changing his nappy. Poor little soul does NOT enjoy nappy changes, and SCREAMS until his little legs have been tucked away again into his babygrow :) He did another poo so yay for that :)
Anyway, gotta go! We're hoping we have a better night than last night - little man wouldn't bring up his wind properly and would only sleep well on his side, and even then that was for barely 15 minutes! In the end we brought him into bed with us as that was the only way he ended up sleeping for longer than half an hour, and even then I kept waking up with a dead arm. He's slept much better in his cot today, so fingers crossed it will be a bit better!
I had my first home visit from the midwife today, not my antenatal one unfortunately, but maybe I'll get to see Beverley later this week. She did of course turn up during Robert's nap (and also at a time we managed to get Christopher asleep in his cot!) grrr. She's happy enough with everything, except the fact that Christopher hadn't pooed since Monday morning (he has since done one - hurrah!) and she said if he hadn't done one by 9am tomorrow to phone up the community midwives office to arrange an extra home visit, but since he has pooed, all is well, for now :)
My milk has come in last night, it's still the "changing" milk so there isn't a HUGE amount of it, but there is enough to make my little man gulp away while feeding, and to produce MASSIVE burps lol! And definitely more of it than there was with Robert. Christopher now feeds for roughly half an hour at a go due to the increase in milk, compared to 1 hour+ (with tickles to keep him awake) while I was in hospital. My breasts have been very engorged today, even after Robert going on one for a long time they still feel hard and sore. So hopefully they'll settle down soon, but I did express some milk earlier in the evening, and I got about 2oz, just under, which I think is pretty good going for 3 days post partum!
Christopher has just woken, and Jonathan's changing his nappy. Poor little soul does NOT enjoy nappy changes, and SCREAMS until his little legs have been tucked away again into his babygrow :) He did another poo so yay for that :)
Anyway, gotta go! We're hoping we have a better night than last night - little man wouldn't bring up his wind properly and would only sleep well on his side, and even then that was for barely 15 minutes! In the end we brought him into bed with us as that was the only way he ended up sleeping for longer than half an hour, and even then I kept waking up with a dead arm. He's slept much better in his cot today, so fingers crossed it will be a bit better!
Sunday, 26 September 2010
Our little Squidge has arrived
As most of you know, our little Squidge arrived at 9.08pm yesterday (25th September) weighing an absolutely diddy 7lb 9oz! Little Christopher Jon is absolutely perfect and has been breastfeeding for every feed. Due to my diabetes they are checking his blood sugar levels pre feeds, and so far they have not been satisfactory, due to him being quite sleepy and not actually crying for milk yet! It has been an effort to keep him awake and for him to actually have a good long feed, although he did manage it for his last feed, where he fed well for over an hour! So fingers crossed for his next BM.
On the matter of the birth, in a nutshell I had given birth vaginally within 12 hours of being given my first and only pessary! I did also need to have my waters broken, during this process I used gas and air but other than that I didn't use any pain relief despite the contractions being a lot more intense and uncomfortable much earlier on than with Robert's labour.
All in all, my birth experience was very much a positive one, although, maybe due to the speed in which the 2nd phase progressed, I have no idea how on earth I managed to get a 10lb baby out! There was also a time I panicked because Jonathan had asked me when I last felt Squidge move and then realised I couldn't remember, so I really panicked until I was monitored. I had the worst case scenario of Squidge already being dead and there being nothing we could do... but luckily of course Squidge was alright!
I am waiting for him to wake for his feed and he either just pooed or farted, so I might change him and see if he wakes. Hopefully I can update this tomorrow from home, but I'll keep you informed! I can't wait to write his birth story!
On the matter of the birth, in a nutshell I had given birth vaginally within 12 hours of being given my first and only pessary! I did also need to have my waters broken, during this process I used gas and air but other than that I didn't use any pain relief despite the contractions being a lot more intense and uncomfortable much earlier on than with Robert's labour.
All in all, my birth experience was very much a positive one, although, maybe due to the speed in which the 2nd phase progressed, I have no idea how on earth I managed to get a 10lb baby out! There was also a time I panicked because Jonathan had asked me when I last felt Squidge move and then realised I couldn't remember, so I really panicked until I was monitored. I had the worst case scenario of Squidge already being dead and there being nothing we could do... but luckily of course Squidge was alright!
I am waiting for him to wake for his feed and he either just pooed or farted, so I might change him and see if he wakes. Hopefully I can update this tomorrow from home, but I'll keep you informed! I can't wait to write his birth story!
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
30 weeks 5 days - blip
Well, it seems that day I posted about last was a blip. I haven't felt even remotely as bad since I woke up the next morning, so I guess it was the whole situation with that person (still not resolved, but I couldn't care less anymore - I'm letting her be as immature and petty as she wants, I've made it more than obvious I am here to talk to so if she wants to grow up she knows where I am), and the antibiotics. I think if I will be off them by tomorrow lunchtime. So hopefully that'll clear up the infection. I'll ask Beverley to send off my urine sample when I see her next week just to make sure.
Squidge has been doing fewer somersaults and big body movements lately. Which I'm thinking is one of two reasons - another growth spurt, or just getting too big to make such movements anymore. I am no longer feeling that sicky knot in the pit of my stomach when I think forward to October, but in fact looking forward to it as I should be, and seeing photos of squishy newborns snuggled up on their mothers chests just make me melt into a big puddle of goo and makes me so eager to have the same again!
Robert is still breastfeeding. I thought he would have self weaned by now, but he picked back up with a vengeance about a week after his minimal interest, and this morning he was snuggled up to me on the bed for at least 20 minutes (on and off, he likes to see if the other one tastes any different!!), and the sight of him so content and peaceful, snuggling up to mummy like that makes my heart melt. :) He never breastfeeds to sleep anymore, the nighttime milky is simply cuddle time, wind down time and routine I suppose. And he'll pull off and sign "bed" when he's ready to go to sleep :) I really should try and get photos of him signing, it is quite sweet. The words he signs (and makes no attempt to say) are more, milk, drink, sleep, finished.
Anyway, I should probably post here about the diabetes. I am injecting insulin once daily for breakfast, and getting used to it slowly. I have to squirt out some before each injection like you see in the hospital dramas etc, and the stuff stinks :( Then I have to remember to prick my finger an hour after meals as well. With my tiredness lately it makes the lunchtime blood sugar reading tricky as I have to time Robert's nap and me eating so that he goes down for a nap an hour after I've had lunch so I can do my blood sugar level then go and have a nap with him immediately.
My morning levels are still high despite the insulin, so having been introduced to a diabetes forum dedicated to low-carbing I think this might be the way to go. I was planning on doing so anyway after the baby was born to try and lose the weight I need to to get to a healthy weight, but since finding out I've got diabetes, and the fact that my morning sugar levels are hard to control, I think I will ease into low carbing (which basically removes bread, potatoes and pasta/rice from my diet along with unnecessary sugars, I'm not going extreme low carbing and removing all forms of sugar/carbs from my diet, so I am keeping all fruit and veg in). I am going to start with breakfast, try and start eating low carb breakfasts to sort out my levels, and ease into low carbs with other meals by cutting down on bread/potatoes etc. So this weekly shop will include a big box of eggs, meats, vegetables and salads. :) Hopefully I'll feel less lethargic and maybe after the baby's born if I can get everything under check I will lose lots of weight, so be physically able to be more energetic to deal with two small children. I am feeling very positive to be able to lose weight once the baby is born, I don't know how much I weigh at the moment... hmm let me see.. 215lbs clothed... which is... 15 stone 5lb! Not bad at all actually!!! Seeing as I was 14 stone when I got pregnant! And I was 15 stone 11 lb at 21 weeks with Robert!!! Assuming I put on another stone before the baby's born (which is a generous over-estimate, here's hoping I only get to 16 stone!)... which once the baby's born I may well be back down to 15 stone with baby weight, waters/placenta.... which will leave me just 3 stone to lose to get to my 12 stone 1 year post partum goal! And then another year to get to my ideal goal of 10 stone.
Well, what a great positiveness to end this post on. :)
Squidge has been doing fewer somersaults and big body movements lately. Which I'm thinking is one of two reasons - another growth spurt, or just getting too big to make such movements anymore. I am no longer feeling that sicky knot in the pit of my stomach when I think forward to October, but in fact looking forward to it as I should be, and seeing photos of squishy newborns snuggled up on their mothers chests just make me melt into a big puddle of goo and makes me so eager to have the same again!
Robert is still breastfeeding. I thought he would have self weaned by now, but he picked back up with a vengeance about a week after his minimal interest, and this morning he was snuggled up to me on the bed for at least 20 minutes (on and off, he likes to see if the other one tastes any different!!), and the sight of him so content and peaceful, snuggling up to mummy like that makes my heart melt. :) He never breastfeeds to sleep anymore, the nighttime milky is simply cuddle time, wind down time and routine I suppose. And he'll pull off and sign "bed" when he's ready to go to sleep :) I really should try and get photos of him signing, it is quite sweet. The words he signs (and makes no attempt to say) are more, milk, drink, sleep, finished.
Anyway, I should probably post here about the diabetes. I am injecting insulin once daily for breakfast, and getting used to it slowly. I have to squirt out some before each injection like you see in the hospital dramas etc, and the stuff stinks :( Then I have to remember to prick my finger an hour after meals as well. With my tiredness lately it makes the lunchtime blood sugar reading tricky as I have to time Robert's nap and me eating so that he goes down for a nap an hour after I've had lunch so I can do my blood sugar level then go and have a nap with him immediately.
My morning levels are still high despite the insulin, so having been introduced to a diabetes forum dedicated to low-carbing I think this might be the way to go. I was planning on doing so anyway after the baby was born to try and lose the weight I need to to get to a healthy weight, but since finding out I've got diabetes, and the fact that my morning sugar levels are hard to control, I think I will ease into low carbing (which basically removes bread, potatoes and pasta/rice from my diet along with unnecessary sugars, I'm not going extreme low carbing and removing all forms of sugar/carbs from my diet, so I am keeping all fruit and veg in). I am going to start with breakfast, try and start eating low carb breakfasts to sort out my levels, and ease into low carbs with other meals by cutting down on bread/potatoes etc. So this weekly shop will include a big box of eggs, meats, vegetables and salads. :) Hopefully I'll feel less lethargic and maybe after the baby's born if I can get everything under check I will lose lots of weight, so be physically able to be more energetic to deal with two small children. I am feeling very positive to be able to lose weight once the baby is born, I don't know how much I weigh at the moment... hmm let me see.. 215lbs clothed... which is... 15 stone 5lb! Not bad at all actually!!! Seeing as I was 14 stone when I got pregnant! And I was 15 stone 11 lb at 21 weeks with Robert!!! Assuming I put on another stone before the baby's born (which is a generous over-estimate, here's hoping I only get to 16 stone!)... which once the baby's born I may well be back down to 15 stone with baby weight, waters/placenta.... which will leave me just 3 stone to lose to get to my 12 stone 1 year post partum goal! And then another year to get to my ideal goal of 10 stone.
Well, what a great positiveness to end this post on. :)
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
26 weeks 5 days - random things
Firstly, I think Robert is in the middle of weaning himself :( He is usually most eager in the mornings, but lately, all he wants to do is immediately climb off the bed and go and play, no snuggle time for mummy and daddy at all :( He will occasionally come up to me afterwards and have some milk briefly, but it's never for very long anymore. And at night before bed he seems to sign milk very happily, but as soon as I lay down on the bed he goes to climb off, so more often than not lately he's been going to bed without having any milk at all. And I can't remember the last time he asked in the middle of the day. I still have 3 months to go of this pregnancy and it seems very likely he will have completely self weaned within a month, so by the time he's 20 months old. But if it is to be, it is to be. I'd much rather he wean himself slowly like he is doing than to suddenly stop. I think I will ask Jonathan to take some pictures the next time Robert has some milk, as it may be the last breastfeeding picture of Robert I have! I do so love the ones I have of him when he is younger, the last one we have is of him around 10 months old. So almost half his life ago!
Another thing is that the closer to the end of pregnancy I get (I know, I'm not even 3/4 of the way through yet!) the more I worry about a repeat performance of Robert's birth. Or perhaps not a repeat performance, but that worrying about Robert's birth will make me "clam up" during birth and make it harder on me. I have had some rather horrific dreams of late, one of which was only a couple of nights ago, I was in labour, and baby was in trouble, got itself into a strange position in the womb (its head was sticking OUT of my belly, so you could see its face and everything!). The midwife although they were around, was not with me and I couldn't find her. I could sense that in my dream I was tense and while I don't remember any pain I remember the stalling of labour and when finally the baby was born he (yes he) was in so much trouble breathing that I couldn't do anything for him and he died. :(
That is probably one of the greatest fears regarding Robert's birth. Both Jonathan and I were in so much shock when Robert was born that he wasn't breathing, and was blue/black all over, that if the midwives hadn't been around, he would have died. In fact, Jonathan told me that when Robert was born, he thought that Robert was already dead.
I read in the pregnancy book that came with the bounty pack I got at 8 weeks from the midwife a section on postnatal post traumatic stress disorder. When I read that section I thought "that's what I had". Symptoms including numbness to emotion, irritability, irrationality, depression. Caused by a fear of death either of yourself or your baby. While the anti-depressants I was on helped with the PND I suffered, I think there is some more work I need to do on Robert's birth and my worries surrounding this.
I still remember the numbness I felt after he was born. I remember sitting on the sofa numbly (fully naked but not caring!!!), watching them with Robert as they fought to get him breathing, I remember going into the ambulance, sitting on the seat in there and the midwife telling me it was ok to cry but I couldn't cry. I remember seeing him in the incubator for the first time after I'd had my stitches done and had a bath, and feeling nothing towards him. A day later I was able to cry. A few weeks after Robert was born, I was able to think back to the birth without immediately bursting into tears, but I then did sort of block it from my mind.
Now, with Squidge's birth getting closer and closer I can't help but think about Robert's again and I do have tears in my eyes right now thinking about it. I think it will be necessary to get some help in overcoming my blocked feelings towards his birth, it was probably something I should have done a long time ago but I am beginning to realise now that it is something that needs to be done, and when I see my midwife again in a week's time, I shall talk to her about it and see what she can suggest. I need to do something. For me. For Squidge, and for Robert too.
EDIT: Additional thoughts on the dreams since I first posted this entry.
The one I said above was only one half. The next half of the dream, I can't remember if it was a second one after having woken briefly and fallen asleep again, or if it followed on, but I was in labour again with a different baby. I remember the 2nd labour stalling again, as I was nervous due to the other birth, but after a while I sort of "swallowed" it, and just tried to put it out of my mind, and did what I thought I should. Again, there was no midwife around (although again, there was supposed to be one near), and I again birthed alone, bending down to receive the baby myself. The baby was ok, and I was so relieved, yet my feelings still seemed a little squashed. This baby, while looking practically identical to the baby boy who died, and was a similar weight (BIG!), was a baby girl.
I found myself wondering, if the first birth in the sequence was meant to represent Robert's birth, the baby who would have died if no midwives were around. And if maybe, some glimmer of hope, that the second birth, is meant to represent Squidge's birth, that while I still have some risidual feelings left over from the first birth, I manage to squash them, and successfully birth a healthy baby (GIRL????!!!) who even with lack of immediate midwife care would be alright?
I think I would still need to talk to someone, try and get these issues I have surrounding Robert's birth out in the open, but if the second half of the dream is a vision of Squidge's birth, maybe I should try and remain positive.
Another thing is that the closer to the end of pregnancy I get (I know, I'm not even 3/4 of the way through yet!) the more I worry about a repeat performance of Robert's birth. Or perhaps not a repeat performance, but that worrying about Robert's birth will make me "clam up" during birth and make it harder on me. I have had some rather horrific dreams of late, one of which was only a couple of nights ago, I was in labour, and baby was in trouble, got itself into a strange position in the womb (its head was sticking OUT of my belly, so you could see its face and everything!). The midwife although they were around, was not with me and I couldn't find her. I could sense that in my dream I was tense and while I don't remember any pain I remember the stalling of labour and when finally the baby was born he (yes he) was in so much trouble breathing that I couldn't do anything for him and he died. :(
That is probably one of the greatest fears regarding Robert's birth. Both Jonathan and I were in so much shock when Robert was born that he wasn't breathing, and was blue/black all over, that if the midwives hadn't been around, he would have died. In fact, Jonathan told me that when Robert was born, he thought that Robert was already dead.
I read in the pregnancy book that came with the bounty pack I got at 8 weeks from the midwife a section on postnatal post traumatic stress disorder. When I read that section I thought "that's what I had". Symptoms including numbness to emotion, irritability, irrationality, depression. Caused by a fear of death either of yourself or your baby. While the anti-depressants I was on helped with the PND I suffered, I think there is some more work I need to do on Robert's birth and my worries surrounding this.
I still remember the numbness I felt after he was born. I remember sitting on the sofa numbly (fully naked but not caring!!!), watching them with Robert as they fought to get him breathing, I remember going into the ambulance, sitting on the seat in there and the midwife telling me it was ok to cry but I couldn't cry. I remember seeing him in the incubator for the first time after I'd had my stitches done and had a bath, and feeling nothing towards him. A day later I was able to cry. A few weeks after Robert was born, I was able to think back to the birth without immediately bursting into tears, but I then did sort of block it from my mind.
Now, with Squidge's birth getting closer and closer I can't help but think about Robert's again and I do have tears in my eyes right now thinking about it. I think it will be necessary to get some help in overcoming my blocked feelings towards his birth, it was probably something I should have done a long time ago but I am beginning to realise now that it is something that needs to be done, and when I see my midwife again in a week's time, I shall talk to her about it and see what she can suggest. I need to do something. For me. For Squidge, and for Robert too.
EDIT: Additional thoughts on the dreams since I first posted this entry.
The one I said above was only one half. The next half of the dream, I can't remember if it was a second one after having woken briefly and fallen asleep again, or if it followed on, but I was in labour again with a different baby. I remember the 2nd labour stalling again, as I was nervous due to the other birth, but after a while I sort of "swallowed" it, and just tried to put it out of my mind, and did what I thought I should. Again, there was no midwife around (although again, there was supposed to be one near), and I again birthed alone, bending down to receive the baby myself. The baby was ok, and I was so relieved, yet my feelings still seemed a little squashed. This baby, while looking practically identical to the baby boy who died, and was a similar weight (BIG!), was a baby girl.
I found myself wondering, if the first birth in the sequence was meant to represent Robert's birth, the baby who would have died if no midwives were around. And if maybe, some glimmer of hope, that the second birth, is meant to represent Squidge's birth, that while I still have some risidual feelings left over from the first birth, I manage to squash them, and successfully birth a healthy baby (GIRL????!!!) who even with lack of immediate midwife care would be alright?
I think I would still need to talk to someone, try and get these issues I have surrounding Robert's birth out in the open, but if the second half of the dream is a vision of Squidge's birth, maybe I should try and remain positive.
Thursday, 6 May 2010
18 weeks - anniversary tomorrow, signing
Well tomorrow is mine and Jonathan's 5th wedding anniversary, and 9th "being together" anniversary. We've had our ups and downs but it's hard to believe that we've been together for so long, considering I'm not even in my 30s yet, that next year we will have been together a whole decade, and I still would not be in my 30s. Next year we will have been married for 6 years, together for 10 years, and have two beautiful children.
I can hardly believe how lucky I am, that my husband just fell into my lap so to speak, that we found each other and are so happy together. That we have been able to work through tough patches (and as a result are still together) and puts us in good stead to be together for a long long time, hopefully as they say til death do us part. We have been so lucky on so many counts, that we have had fabulous support from family in particular, both financial and emotional, which puts us in a very fortunate position for the future, despite us having made mistakes on when we bought this house and got out a fixed rate mortgage for 5 years (sigh).
And now I am nearly half way through "cooking" our second child (lol, that phrase makes me giggle), and enjoying every moment! I think I am eating *slightly* better than my first pregnancy. I am certainly more active! Having looked back on my first pregnancy I am having a lot easier time so far of it. Although with this one I have had more bleeding (only spotting but still far far more than with Robert), but less of everything else. At this point in my pregnancy I was already suffering with heartburn on occasion, whereas no sign of this whatsoever yet! But there is plenty more time for me to suffer with heartburn, SPD, swollen ankles and feet, etc like I did with Robert.
When I lay down I can feel Squidge's rough position, last night I was fairly certain he was laying transverse, with his back along the top of my uterus.
Yes that's right, I'm saying he. Why? Two reasons. One, it's SO damn annoying to have to keep saying s/he, or his/her. Second... my friend Sarah has found out she's having a girl. And despite what I said before about me having no preference to which gender I was having, I did suddenly get a twinge. That if I did end up having a boy I would be sad, because she got her girl and I didn't get one. Which made me realise that I must have had a subconscious desire for a girl over a boy that I wasn't entirely aware of. I think that if I get it into my head that it's a boy now... that if I am convinced he's a boy, then it will be easier. But I am still thinking of leaving it as a surprise, that bit of uncertainty, so there is a small chance I am carrying a girl... does that make sense? By focussing on the good things of having another boy, then I will be happier when he arrives.
I am feeling him kick much more as well. In fact, last night as I was laying down with Robert before his bedtime, I could feel him moving around a bit. I put my hand on my tummy, and I felt a tiny pop against my hand! I'm pretty sure I can feel Squidge better than I did Robert, not only his kicks, but also him as well, when I feel my tummy. Maybe with Robert my placenta was around by my tummy, and this time it's towards my back? I've not told Jonathan about being able to feel the kicks with my hand yet, as the times Squidge is kicking hard enough to feel are so few, they're not nearly half the number of times he actually kicks.
What I find amazing is that despite having felt Robert move at 15 weeks, it wasn't until 19 weeks that I was 100% sure that I had felt a proper kick! Just goes to show I suppose that it's true, for second pregnancies you do realise that the baby is kicking sooner, as I know I've been recognising Squidge's kicks from at least 16 weeks as proper kicks.
As for breastfeeding. Robert is still breastfeeding morning and night. And he asked for it during the day yesterday as well. He is beginning to communicate much better, not only in his words, but he has finally grasped signing, that he can sign a particular way to get exactly what he wants. He only knows how to make 3 signs really, the three we use most regularly. He knows "more" very well, and "drink" not so well. He sometimes signs more when he wants a drink. He also knows milk, but he needs encouragement to use it. It won't be long before he is using signs perfectly to aid his communication with us. I told my dad about his signing, and how babies develop better control with their hands before they're able to talk, so they can communicate this way quicker, and he was quite impressed and said "oh, that's a really good idea!" and generally thought that it made sense, as it helps them to be less frustrated.
I want to teach him a few other signs, like nappy, so he will be able to sign to me when he needs a nappy change, sleep, so he can tell me when he's tired, and things like hot, cold, scared, hurt. Scared will be a tough one to do. I will have to get his grandad (my dad) over to jump out at him like he did last time we went down there (poor Robert got scared, my dad was trying to make him laugh but he was so loud and unexpected, that Robert's lip started quivering and you could tell he was frightened by it!) and then sign scared to Robert so he knows what it is lol!
Anyway I digressed. Robert is still breastfeeding, and I only ever offer milk to him at night before bed. But he always has morning milk, and if he asks during the day he gets it too. Yesterday he wanted it, so I let him. Usually downstairs he's happy to stand next to me but yesterday he wanted to climb up onto me and lay down while having his milky on the sofa. Which was nice to have some snuggles. :)
This morning after he'd had his milk, he got up all grins, and went to scoot himself off the bed, and on the way I heard him burp, which made me quite happy, surely that means he's still getting quite a lot of milk from me?
We have his 18 month hospital checkup on the 21st, just over 2 weeks time. I'm so pleased he's started to talk, even if it's just a few words, and that he communicates by signing. At the 12 month checkup I was quite worried as the questions the doctor asked us about his development (apart from physical, which he was ahead on), he seemed concerned about his language development, and doubted us when he said he could understand what we said.
Robert now understands most simple questions we ask him, if he doesn't know a particular word you can tell he gets confused. But daily tasks he does he doesn't even need to be verbally asked anymore. When he gets undressed ready for his bath he will put his clothes immediately in the wash basket (more than can be said for his dad!!!!), and when I let him down off the table naked, I will hand him his dirty nappy (in a nappy bag of course) and I don't even need to ask him, he will go and put it in the bin.
While I do of course get frustrated with him from time to time, it doesn't take much for me to melt :)
Who couldn't melt, when greeted with this...?
or this....?
:)
I can hardly believe how lucky I am, that my husband just fell into my lap so to speak, that we found each other and are so happy together. That we have been able to work through tough patches (and as a result are still together) and puts us in good stead to be together for a long long time, hopefully as they say til death do us part. We have been so lucky on so many counts, that we have had fabulous support from family in particular, both financial and emotional, which puts us in a very fortunate position for the future, despite us having made mistakes on when we bought this house and got out a fixed rate mortgage for 5 years (sigh).
And now I am nearly half way through "cooking" our second child (lol, that phrase makes me giggle), and enjoying every moment! I think I am eating *slightly* better than my first pregnancy. I am certainly more active! Having looked back on my first pregnancy I am having a lot easier time so far of it. Although with this one I have had more bleeding (only spotting but still far far more than with Robert), but less of everything else. At this point in my pregnancy I was already suffering with heartburn on occasion, whereas no sign of this whatsoever yet! But there is plenty more time for me to suffer with heartburn, SPD, swollen ankles and feet, etc like I did with Robert.
When I lay down I can feel Squidge's rough position, last night I was fairly certain he was laying transverse, with his back along the top of my uterus.
Yes that's right, I'm saying he. Why? Two reasons. One, it's SO damn annoying to have to keep saying s/he, or his/her. Second... my friend Sarah has found out she's having a girl. And despite what I said before about me having no preference to which gender I was having, I did suddenly get a twinge. That if I did end up having a boy I would be sad, because she got her girl and I didn't get one. Which made me realise that I must have had a subconscious desire for a girl over a boy that I wasn't entirely aware of. I think that if I get it into my head that it's a boy now... that if I am convinced he's a boy, then it will be easier. But I am still thinking of leaving it as a surprise, that bit of uncertainty, so there is a small chance I am carrying a girl... does that make sense? By focussing on the good things of having another boy, then I will be happier when he arrives.
I am feeling him kick much more as well. In fact, last night as I was laying down with Robert before his bedtime, I could feel him moving around a bit. I put my hand on my tummy, and I felt a tiny pop against my hand! I'm pretty sure I can feel Squidge better than I did Robert, not only his kicks, but also him as well, when I feel my tummy. Maybe with Robert my placenta was around by my tummy, and this time it's towards my back? I've not told Jonathan about being able to feel the kicks with my hand yet, as the times Squidge is kicking hard enough to feel are so few, they're not nearly half the number of times he actually kicks.
What I find amazing is that despite having felt Robert move at 15 weeks, it wasn't until 19 weeks that I was 100% sure that I had felt a proper kick! Just goes to show I suppose that it's true, for second pregnancies you do realise that the baby is kicking sooner, as I know I've been recognising Squidge's kicks from at least 16 weeks as proper kicks.
As for breastfeeding. Robert is still breastfeeding morning and night. And he asked for it during the day yesterday as well. He is beginning to communicate much better, not only in his words, but he has finally grasped signing, that he can sign a particular way to get exactly what he wants. He only knows how to make 3 signs really, the three we use most regularly. He knows "more" very well, and "drink" not so well. He sometimes signs more when he wants a drink. He also knows milk, but he needs encouragement to use it. It won't be long before he is using signs perfectly to aid his communication with us. I told my dad about his signing, and how babies develop better control with their hands before they're able to talk, so they can communicate this way quicker, and he was quite impressed and said "oh, that's a really good idea!" and generally thought that it made sense, as it helps them to be less frustrated.
I want to teach him a few other signs, like nappy, so he will be able to sign to me when he needs a nappy change, sleep, so he can tell me when he's tired, and things like hot, cold, scared, hurt. Scared will be a tough one to do. I will have to get his grandad (my dad) over to jump out at him like he did last time we went down there (poor Robert got scared, my dad was trying to make him laugh but he was so loud and unexpected, that Robert's lip started quivering and you could tell he was frightened by it!) and then sign scared to Robert so he knows what it is lol!
Anyway I digressed. Robert is still breastfeeding, and I only ever offer milk to him at night before bed. But he always has morning milk, and if he asks during the day he gets it too. Yesterday he wanted it, so I let him. Usually downstairs he's happy to stand next to me but yesterday he wanted to climb up onto me and lay down while having his milky on the sofa. Which was nice to have some snuggles. :)
This morning after he'd had his milk, he got up all grins, and went to scoot himself off the bed, and on the way I heard him burp, which made me quite happy, surely that means he's still getting quite a lot of milk from me?
We have his 18 month hospital checkup on the 21st, just over 2 weeks time. I'm so pleased he's started to talk, even if it's just a few words, and that he communicates by signing. At the 12 month checkup I was quite worried as the questions the doctor asked us about his development (apart from physical, which he was ahead on), he seemed concerned about his language development, and doubted us when he said he could understand what we said.
Robert now understands most simple questions we ask him, if he doesn't know a particular word you can tell he gets confused. But daily tasks he does he doesn't even need to be verbally asked anymore. When he gets undressed ready for his bath he will put his clothes immediately in the wash basket (more than can be said for his dad!!!!), and when I let him down off the table naked, I will hand him his dirty nappy (in a nappy bag of course) and I don't even need to ask him, he will go and put it in the bin.
While I do of course get frustrated with him from time to time, it doesn't take much for me to melt :)
Who couldn't melt, when greeted with this...?
or this....?
:)
Friday, 23 April 2010
16 weeks 1 day - thoughts on BF
Yesterday, for the first time in MONTHS (seriously, longer than I remember) Robert asked me during the day to breastfeed. So I let him! I was out in the garden, lying on our picnic blanket, and hey, people might have been looking out of their windows but so what ;) I think apart from just before bedtime, I will not offer Robert milk, but if he wants some he can have it. I offer just before bedtime as I think it does help calm him down. This morning he was so busy he didn't have any milk like he usually does! Jonathan usually puts him on the bed and the first thing Robert usually does is grab the duvet covers and yank it down for some breakfast! ;) But not this morning, he came in with a teddy and was so intent on that, and on grinning at himself in the mirror that he forgot all about it ;)
I saw a page on facebook, with some witty comments in responce to rude questions regarding breastfeeding, some of which were quite thought provoking. Like the comment that "when he's old enough to ask for it, then he's too old for it" the reply to that was something like "Well I took my son at 3 days old, turning his head and opening his mouth wide as asking for it, are you suggesting I should have weaned him then?" And things like "he doesn't need to breastfeed at this age" I agree that breastfeeding is not "needed" in the sense that he will get the majority of his nutrition from other food, but there's no denying that breastfeeding does give some nutrition still. For example, we don't NEED to eat an apple, because we can survive on other foods, but that apple is still good for us, so why refuse ourselves to eat this apple on that basis? It is mainly stigma, one that I'm still not crystal clear on my opinion surrounding the whole carrying on breastfeeding for years and years thing.
But one thing - that today Robert is 17 months old. He has been breastfed (almost) every day for 17 whole months, something which is no mean feat! I know others have done it for longer, but every month for each mother is a huge achievement :)
Anyway, basically I'm carrying on - for as long as I can bear it! And I am so hoping to be able to tandem feed. Rather selfishly I suppose - but I feel that with two nurslings, it will be even easier for me to lose weight as long as I am very sensible with my eating and making sure not to get too many takeaways, to try and cram the freezer full of healthy homecooked food for quick meals! Seeing some recent pictures of me full length I feel disgusted, I don't look pregnant, I look FAT. I am so hoping to be able to lose at least 3 stone in the year after Squidge is born, and by the time Squidge is 2, to be down to my ideal weight.
Oh, other news. Robert has given himself a fat lip. He tripped over Jonathan's foot and bit himself. BOY can lips bleed!!! It's not lovely and raised over the cut, and a lovely purple colour. Luckily he was ok after a few minutes. But yet another cut to sport, along with the graze near his hairline when he fell out of the house (out of the french doors, not an upstairs window or something haha!). Boys... they do get into a lot of mischief!
I saw a page on facebook, with some witty comments in responce to rude questions regarding breastfeeding, some of which were quite thought provoking. Like the comment that "when he's old enough to ask for it, then he's too old for it" the reply to that was something like "Well I took my son at 3 days old, turning his head and opening his mouth wide as asking for it, are you suggesting I should have weaned him then?" And things like "he doesn't need to breastfeed at this age" I agree that breastfeeding is not "needed" in the sense that he will get the majority of his nutrition from other food, but there's no denying that breastfeeding does give some nutrition still. For example, we don't NEED to eat an apple, because we can survive on other foods, but that apple is still good for us, so why refuse ourselves to eat this apple on that basis? It is mainly stigma, one that I'm still not crystal clear on my opinion surrounding the whole carrying on breastfeeding for years and years thing.
But one thing - that today Robert is 17 months old. He has been breastfed (almost) every day for 17 whole months, something which is no mean feat! I know others have done it for longer, but every month for each mother is a huge achievement :)
Anyway, basically I'm carrying on - for as long as I can bear it! And I am so hoping to be able to tandem feed. Rather selfishly I suppose - but I feel that with two nurslings, it will be even easier for me to lose weight as long as I am very sensible with my eating and making sure not to get too many takeaways, to try and cram the freezer full of healthy homecooked food for quick meals! Seeing some recent pictures of me full length I feel disgusted, I don't look pregnant, I look FAT. I am so hoping to be able to lose at least 3 stone in the year after Squidge is born, and by the time Squidge is 2, to be down to my ideal weight.
Oh, other news. Robert has given himself a fat lip. He tripped over Jonathan's foot and bit himself. BOY can lips bleed!!! It's not lovely and raised over the cut, and a lovely purple colour. Luckily he was ok after a few minutes. But yet another cut to sport, along with the graze near his hairline when he fell out of the house (out of the french doors, not an upstairs window or something haha!). Boys... they do get into a lot of mischief!
Monday, 17 August 2009
Poorly eye :(
Yesterday we had our first medical worry with Robert since he was born. Well apart from colds, but they're commonplace really. But pretty good considering he's nearly 9 months old.
We noticed when he woke up at 6am on Sunday morning that his left eye was quite red and a little swollen. At first we just assumed that maybe it was just from tiredness, or something like that, but kept an eye on it to make sure. By lunchtime it was still no better at all, and we discussed going to the doctor about it, since it was a Sunday. But although Robert didn't seem too bothered by it, it did look really sore so in the end I did decide to ring up NHS Direct about it, and a few hours later I got a call back from a nurse who after talking to me about it decided that it was probably a good idea to get him seen to that day, so she booked him an appointment at the local hospital out of hours clinic.
It turns out that my little baby has an infection in his lower eyelid, which the doctor said wasn't a stye. But he gave us some oral antibiotics to give him so we've gave him some when we got home and then again when he woke around 10.30pm. By morning it looked like it had got worse, and stayed very red and inflamed looking most of the day, so we called the doctors and we got him another appointment. Strangely between booking the appointment and when the appointment was for, it seemed to suddenly get a bit better. The swelling came down a bit, and the redness receded but it's still got the infection there you can tell. The doctor who saw him today said it was a stye (!) as there was a lump on the inside of the eyelid (Robert did not like this at all!!), and said that it was evident that it HAD got better (we took along a photo of how it looked yesterday) so the antibiotics were obviously doing their job. But gave us a different sort that we have to give alongside the first, which evidently makes him sick if he doesn't have an empty stomach as we found out earlier this evening... But we are hoping it will clear up soon, as it does look so sore.
Last night we had a mini-breakthrough with the sleeping issues. Although we still didn't get a huge amount of sleep, we did get slightly more than the night before, but also that I remember (!!!) Robert went the whole night from 8pm-ish til 6.30am-ish without breast feeding. I am so looking forward to properly nightweaning completely, although it was lovely snuggling down with my baby boy in the dark of night, it has got to the stage where I just need my sleep so badly I am willing to fore-go this snuggly time in order to function well the next day! I just can't wait til he sleeps from 7-7 or even better 8-8 and we can feel like we're on top of the world! So far tonight he has been sleeping since around 7.30pm. I will breastfeed him when he does wake up, since he hasn't actually had anything since 6pm due to the antibiotics.
Ok, well he woke up as soon as I typed that sentence, so I fed him and he's back to sleep. Hopefully I will be able to get away without feeding him again til morning now. I might well prepare the antibiotics in the syringes so we can give them to him when he wakes up in the morning.
Before I sign off I shall leave you with a few new photos.
Obviously before the eye infection!
Breast feeding going strong at almost 9 months old :)
We noticed when he woke up at 6am on Sunday morning that his left eye was quite red and a little swollen. At first we just assumed that maybe it was just from tiredness, or something like that, but kept an eye on it to make sure. By lunchtime it was still no better at all, and we discussed going to the doctor about it, since it was a Sunday. But although Robert didn't seem too bothered by it, it did look really sore so in the end I did decide to ring up NHS Direct about it, and a few hours later I got a call back from a nurse who after talking to me about it decided that it was probably a good idea to get him seen to that day, so she booked him an appointment at the local hospital out of hours clinic.
It turns out that my little baby has an infection in his lower eyelid, which the doctor said wasn't a stye. But he gave us some oral antibiotics to give him so we've gave him some when we got home and then again when he woke around 10.30pm. By morning it looked like it had got worse, and stayed very red and inflamed looking most of the day, so we called the doctors and we got him another appointment. Strangely between booking the appointment and when the appointment was for, it seemed to suddenly get a bit better. The swelling came down a bit, and the redness receded but it's still got the infection there you can tell. The doctor who saw him today said it was a stye (!) as there was a lump on the inside of the eyelid (Robert did not like this at all!!), and said that it was evident that it HAD got better (we took along a photo of how it looked yesterday) so the antibiotics were obviously doing their job. But gave us a different sort that we have to give alongside the first, which evidently makes him sick if he doesn't have an empty stomach as we found out earlier this evening... But we are hoping it will clear up soon, as it does look so sore.
Last night we had a mini-breakthrough with the sleeping issues. Although we still didn't get a huge amount of sleep, we did get slightly more than the night before, but also that I remember (!!!) Robert went the whole night from 8pm-ish til 6.30am-ish without breast feeding. I am so looking forward to properly nightweaning completely, although it was lovely snuggling down with my baby boy in the dark of night, it has got to the stage where I just need my sleep so badly I am willing to fore-go this snuggly time in order to function well the next day! I just can't wait til he sleeps from 7-7 or even better 8-8 and we can feel like we're on top of the world! So far tonight he has been sleeping since around 7.30pm. I will breastfeed him when he does wake up, since he hasn't actually had anything since 6pm due to the antibiotics.
Ok, well he woke up as soon as I typed that sentence, so I fed him and he's back to sleep. Hopefully I will be able to get away without feeding him again til morning now. I might well prepare the antibiotics in the syringes so we can give them to him when he wakes up in the morning.
Before I sign off I shall leave you with a few new photos.
Obviously before the eye infection!
Breast feeding going strong at almost 9 months old :)
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Genius boy! ;) Photos
Our little boy is turning into something of an alarm clock. Every day for the past week or so, he's gone a good hefty chunk of time asleep, and wakes up within half an hour either side of 7am. This morning it was more or less 7am on the dot. I had a very engorged left boob so I gave him that when I had gone to the toilet and got myself some water. He did a very good job of relieving it, although at one point he came off, and milk SQUIRTED all over his face! It really did remind me of a bunged up shower head, hehe!
Anyway I sat him up to burp him, and BLEUGH out came all the milk in two HUGE explosive projectile vomits. All over the duvet, all over the bedside table, and my arm. It was extremely lucky it wasn't my right boob that was engorged, as then it wouldn't have been the bedside table as a recipient of the projectile milk, but instead it would have been Jonathan! Haha.
Anyway we went into town yesterday to buy Jonathan's mum and sister a card and some presents. We got his mum a nice bowl and some pot pourri, a nice scented candle and some chocolates, and then from Robert we bought her a nice photo frame and put this photo in it...
He also wrote in a card for her! (My baby boy's such a genius!)
We took a few more photos in the last few days - I can't believe the chubb you can see in these ones!
He looks like a completely different boy! Almost! Hehe.
Here's me and my little boo bear, getting ready to go out yesterday! He was fast asleep all the while getting him ready, and he slept all the way through the car journey and only woke up briefly while we were in the shopping center!
Robert really does love his books, already! It's so sweet to see him looking so intently at the pictures. But sometimes we'll get photos like this (and it's so funny, he does give expressions like this ALL the time, he looks so shocked!)
Last but not least, here's a pic of him all snuggly in his snuggle-towel after a bath and hair wash..
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
9 weeks 2 days old - 2 month breast feeding! Cold, and The Tiger Who Came To Tea
Today marks 2 months since Robert has had nothing but Mummy Milk! (well, apart from a taste or two of banana!) After our hiccups a few weeks back things are going really really well regarding feeding. My milk is still going strong, which is all I ever hoped for! Apparently my mum's milk dried up with Stephen at around 6 weeks after he was born, and then she had a lot of hassle with doctors telling her not to be so stupid, it was still there, or something. But we've been going 9 weeks so far! And no signs of letting up.
I'm getting quite itchy for a couple of things now - a night out with Jonathan, and a night IN with Jonathan ;) I still haven't had a period, but that's not to say I've not become fertile again so we'll have to make sure to take precautions. However, I must say now things are easing up with Robert and I'm becoming more accustomed to this role of "Mummy", I am beginning to be quite eager at the thought of another pregnancy and baby! Something I thought wouldn't happen for ages! Although I do want to wait a good bit longer before we get pregnant again.
I think I might do a bit of online shopping later - mainly mothercare online shopping, for some breast milk storage bags. I want to start getting a freezer supply of milk so that we can start going out again every now and then - and Robert will still have breast milk that his grandparents can give him. I do like the flexibility of being able to express some and have someone else feed him sometimes. Last night he was NOT latching properly, be it tiredness or what I'm not sure, but I had expressed 3oz of milk earlier that day that Jonathan then gave him.
Something else that's happened is that I've caught an absolutely horrid cold, I think from the SureStart Centre. It started with a sore throat around Thursday/Friday, by Saturday it had extended to a bit of a blocked nose, by Sunday it was in full swing leaving me with a fuzzy head, sore throat, blocked nose, and generally feeling a bit poo. What's more, Robert's caught it off me and he's been ever so snuffly and snotty. I'm not sure if he's in any pain with it like I have been, I hope not! But he has been quite sick the last day or two, throwing up quite hefty amounts of milk after a feed - perhaps due to not feeling 100%? Not sure really, I guess it's a waiting game.
We'll be getting him weighed on Thursday - can't wait! He's now definitely over his growth spurt, can see the difference now, as he last fed around 12pm and it's now 2.40pm. It was sometimes every half hour when he was in his growth spurt!! I hope though he's put on a nice chunk of weight. :)
Someone on the baby forums I read has a 6 month old boy with cerebral palsy. It's quite sad, this poor girl has been through so much with him, and she's always fighting to get him to eat, apparently he only eats about 11-13oz a day, and it's a struggle to get that down him, and then he'll only gain half an ounce a week. I feel so lucky that despite his tough start to life outside my belly, my little boy is healthy, strong, and is gaining weight well and easily.
Anyway, he's starting to stir, so before I go I'll quickly post some photos of my little man enjoying "The Tiger Who Came To Tea" ;)
Friday, 23 January 2009
2 months old!!!!
Jeannie - thank you for such a fantastic tip! I got a bottle to catch the milk in while I fed him this morning, and although it wasn't sterilised properly and therefore couldn't use it, it gave me an idea on how much milk I could get out! I got about half an ounce to an ounce just from drips while he was feeding on the other breast! There were the odd few drips before I fed him, but then as soon as I started feeding him again, the dripping sped up considerably!
Anyway, this entry will have to be short, Robert's just woken up from a long nap in his cot and will want feeding. And Hurrah! It's the weekend! We're also going to see Nicky, Stephen and Ewan tomorrow, which is great. :) Will try and update tomorrow, we do have more photos (some more incredibly cute ones again!! just when I think we've got the cutest photos ever we get more to rival them!).
Hope you're all well. *hugs*
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Almost 9 weeks old - baby massage and breast feeding
So we've had a couple of nice days over at the Hunt household. Jonathan's parents came over and we did a few bits with him, they're going on holiday soon for 3 weeks which means Robert might get his first trip to Tesco then! But we didn't need much shopping so we walked down with him in the carrier (which Jonathan's dad wanted to wear!) and got the bits we needed (milk, a couple of loaves of bread, and a few naughties snuck in to the basket as well! Doritos were on offer as were tubs of nice chocolate goodies.). I gave him a bath while they were here, which Betsy watched and Steve did the washing up! Gotta love helpful grandparents!
Today was baby massage, and it was really nice. Robert seemed to enjoy it, but he wasn't as vocal in his approval as some of the other babies, but he did fart once, and pee twice!! Haha. The second pee went over the baby next to him! He was one of the youngest - but not the youngest this time! There was a 5 week old boy and a 6 week old boy. The rest were all girls! (about six girls to the three boys!) I can't believe my little boy is still only 8 weeks! (Well, 9 on Sunday but still!) He looks so big compared to most babies his age. He will be 2 months old tomorrow.
He's getting very strong, when he feels like it (and he happens to be on his front, which isn't very often to be fair), he can hold his head up for a long time. But he's VERY strong in his legs, most of the time we hold him upright and rest his feet on our laps he will push up very hard! It's hardly ever now that he collapses down onto his legs. It does make burping him difficult though, especially when he's upset that he's stopped feeding and wants more (but he needs a burp to latch on again properly). He will push up so he's standing! So most of the time now I burp him on my shoulder. With a muslin around his neck of course so he doesn't puke all over me! The throwing up is subsiding gradually. Thank goodness! It's nice to know that the milk is all staying in his stomach where it belongs!
I was actually hoping to express this morning before Baby Massage, as I woke with two almost painfully engorged breasts (and had to sleep with a muslin over my boobs as they pop out of my bra when I sleep) and when he was awake and ready to feed the muslin was already damp, and then as he started feeding on one boob the other started leaking like crazy again so I held the muslin on which gradually got sopping wet! Anyway, was hoping to express one boob and leave the other for Robert then and there, but the little piggy was so hungry he emptied both boobs!
Breastfeeding is going great. I am finding now that even if he doesn't open very wide, and therefore his latch isn't perfect, it is still good enough and it's not as painful anymore. And my nipples don't come out such a lovely triangular shape! Maybe part of it is his mouth getting bigger as he grows, and maybe also him getting more expert at feeding! My milk is still going strong which is lovely, and so pleasing. :) He's getting weighed next Thursday and I'm hoping with his growth spurt he will have put on a fair amount, hopefully a lot more than 1lb - as it will have been 16 days since he was last weighed, so 1oz a day will be 1lb, but with his growth spurt you'd hope he'd put on more than that! I guess we'll wait and see!
Anyway Robert's having a nap (in his cot - yay!), so am going to finish getting lunch ready while he's still asleep. Tata for now!
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