CD28

More blood tinged CM today at CD28. CD27 had cramps. Woke up this morning very tired - but Christopher was up at 2 crying and took a few attempts to resettle him (trying to get night weaning sorted), and just when I thought I'd have to give up and give him the boob (trying to wait til 5am til he has more milk) he settled down. I really don't know if the tiredness (it felt rather extreme this morning) is just Christopher waking, or the other thing.

Jonathan seems to have come around on the whole "more than 2 kids" thing. But we are currently in discussions about schooling (or lack thereof - not saying there won't be education!!). I am leaning towards unschooling right now, what brought this about I'm not sure but part of me really really wants to do it! But the thing is I am having to talk a LOT about it with Jonathan, who has serious misgivings about various aspects of it. Some of which I don't have the answers to, so am having to research. He is really quite upset about the whole thing, and completely and utterly wants the kids to go to school. And part of me wants them to as well. But then I think what do I do once the kids are all grown up and in fulltime education? It would make sense to have at least a part time job, but what? Where? Part of me thinks it would be good though to do this. I am so conflicted, but luckily nothing needs to be decided for some time. Nursery places aren't allocated until March/April, and of course education doesn't become compulsory until 5.

This parenting business has so much to think about. It's amazing what people think though when you tell them you are considering not sending your kids to school. How anything that's not mainstream is gasped at, and you are treated like you are doing something awful to your kids. I told someone who seemed appauled at this that I was pleased she cared about my kids enough to show such concern, and that I would think about all she said when I discussed with J what was best for our children. Her response was "Robert is an amazing little boy and I want the best for him". But the thing is, your idea of the best isn't always the same as the parents', and it's our job to decide what is best, whatever that may be. Parenting is so emotive... I could probably come up with a dozen parenting topics off the cuff that causes debate.

Anyway... I am due on tomorrow at the earliest, although seeing as I've only had one full cycle so far, I could come on much later. Given the red CM I would guess it could be AF on her way. We shall see I guess! Haven't bothered testing today, I will test maybe on Monday or Tuesday if there's no sign of AF. Or perhaps leave it til Friday that way I can be sure that I am at least due for AF soon if not overdue. It's a long old wait.. even without properly TTC!