23 weeks! And oops, long time since update!

All is progressing well with the pregnancy. I had a bad fall at the beginning of October which saw me go to A&E instead of a wedding reception, as I badly hurt my right foot/ankle and had nasty cuts to my left knee and big toe. I was in agony with my foot and could barely walk, but as I'm pregnant they didn't want to X-ray me, especially as my foot didn't hurt in the right places that would indicate a fracture. Luckily it has healed up ok with just a bandage, although the first night I was crying with the pain and I couldn't even walk 2 metres to the toilet! Changing the pressure on the bandage and back to back paracetamol helped, then the next day it was much better.

Baby has been by far the most active little bean I remember having. I had my anomaly scan at almost 21 weeks, and I was curious to find out if the placenta was at the front of my uterus, or, as I suspected, at the back. Sure enough, it was at the back, so I'm feeling every little kick and wriggle!

The sonographer checked everything out, and could see everything present and correct as far as she could tell which was a relief, and as she did the measurements, I stared to see if I could see a telltale sign as to whether Pipkin was a boy or a girl. As she got the thigh measurement, I was pretty sure I could see what gender our sweet baby was... But wanted confirmation, so at the end when she asked if we had any questions, I begged her to find out if we were expecting a boy or a girl. I held my breath the entire time, as she positioned the device to look, and she said to us "well... It looks like you're having a baby girl!" Which was what I thought I had seen earlier but didn't dare to believe until she said it too. As I got down from the table/bench afterwards, having wiped all the jelly off my abdomen, I must have looked like the Cheshire Cat! Yes, I cried a little in the room. A baby girl!!! 2 weeks on now, and another scan later (to confirm the kidneys) at which she also double checked the gender again, and I think I might be starting to actually believe that after 3 lovely cheeky boys, I get to raise a DAUGHTER.

She is such (SUCH) an active baby. I'm feeling at LEAST 6 bouts of strong kicks a day, even though I am sometimes very busy, and she's still so little, only about 1lb in weight (although that seems very big too, as it doesn't seem that long ago she was the size of a poppyseed and weighed less than a gram in weight!). Time seems to be flying so so fast, and the older two boys are absolutely over the moon that they're getting a sister! D, is only 3.5 years old so he's not all that aware of what it means, although he had been maintaining for a while before we found out that "it not a baby boy, it a baby GIRL". Whereas R and C were hugging themselves in anticipation saying "ooooooh I hope it's a girl, I really REALLY hope it's a girl!" So when we brought home a box with multicolour stripes in, hiding a "it's a girl!" balloon, and opened it up to show the boys (and grandma and grandad) what was inside, there was lots of whooping and joyful leaping around! :) and Christopher coming up to me, giving me a hug and saying "I'm so HAPPY it's a girl!" It really really made my heart sing!

Other news, is that we have just bought some triple bunks for the boys, which will be set up tomorrow and they (and I) am very excited to get them up and built :) a nice Saturday morning job. :)

Thoughts about genders

Well, yesterday my sister-in-law gave birth to a little girl, who she and my brother named Amelia. It's been a day now and I'm feeling a lot more excited and happy about it than I was when I first heard the news. She is the one who had a boy a year before Robert was born, who told me she didn't want kids at all to stop disappointment of people knowing it was taking them a while to conceive etc. I must admit, my first reaction was that of a sinking resentfulness. A stupid one of course, like the first one I felt when she was pregnant with my nephew! That once again they have "beat me" to something new for my parents. They had the first grandchild (and grandson incidentally), and now they have had the first granddaughter, despite me having two children between. Plus the fact that before Robert was "Robert" - while he was Sausage, I wanted a girl. And secretly I think I wanted Christopher to be a girl too.

It's been going round and round my head, wondering if the news that they had had a girl was disappointing to me for that reason also... because I do hope that someday I will have a daughter! And of course, I may not ever have a daughter. It did also get me thinking, also due to reading comments on my brother's photos of Amelia, or status updates, people's opinions, that having "one of each" is the "perfect" family. I hear it everywhere. See it everywhere. I've never heard, or at least not to my recollection, somebody saying "awww another boy, how perfect!" (or girl, of course) when it's a second child. (as opposed to third, where they already have "one of each"). And you see the dolls families with 2 parents, and 2 kids, the kids are always a boy and a girl. And Robert's checkout game, a boy and a girl. Charlie and Lola on TV.

I do love my BOYS so so much, and do NOT love Christopher any less because he's not a girl! (Or Robert for that matter). But I do find myself trying to conjure up homely images of the future of me with all sons and no daughters. To convince myself that it won't be all that bad. (!!) Strapping lads with their arms around me as they reach their adulthood. Boys running in the garden playing football or play wrestling. That sort of thing!

Another thing that I think of, is that if we do end up with another baby, I find myself wondering what the gender will be. I of course have no way of knowing!! But I find myself thinking all the same "I wonder if I will get a girl" or things like that. I think if we do have another baby we will find out the sex (Jonathan wanted to with Christopher it was me that stopped us! So I think Jonathan would have no problem if we have another baby), so that if it's a boy it will give me time to adjust. I do think back to the dream I had in pregnancy with Robert, that I gave birth to triplets, the first one being Robert, the second one also a boy, and the third one we thought was a boy at first but then it turned out to be a girl. It does make me wonder, if it's a kind of future telling dream, that I will have 3 kids, and well first two boys.. and if I have a third, if it will show on ultrasound (or if it's just an overwhelming thought) that it's a third boy, whether we will be surprised later by the emergence (or view on ultrasound) of a girl.

I guess it's a "time will tell" ending to this post really... All this assuming I do actually have a third child.

Robert is here

Sorry for the long delay in update. Unfortunately everything did not go to plan. I'm writing this on Jonathan's pda from hospital and he's going to post this when he goes home to gather some bits.

Robert Stephen was born at home at 6.37pm on Sunday after approximately 14 hours of labour. I had no pain medication and he was born weighing 10lbs. However he wasn't breathing and had to be resusitated. He was limp and although his heart was beating it took him about 20 minutes to breathe on his own. We were rushed to hospital after Robert had established laboured breathing and whimpers and I'd delivered the placenta. I'll go through the actual birth story another time.

Robert is now in the Intensive Care Unit being monitored to check that his heartrate and breathing remain stable and also to check that he's seizures that were caused by lack of oxygen to the brain get better and don't cause any serious problems. We got to hold him for the first time after birth a few hours ago and he also latched onto the breast and had a little suckle. He wasn't latched on properly but I let him suckle there for a while so he got used to it.

He is such a beautiful baby with deep blue eyes and inch long (!) dark hair. :) J and I have both had difficult times over the last 24 hours as it's been very traumatic and as such we are both somewhat emotional wrecks, especially me what with the long labour, blood loss, stitches and hormones. But I think being able to hold him today has risen our spirits a lot.

We're likely to be in here a while but I do hope I can post photos soon. We really do have such a gorgeous boy and some lovely photos of him. I hope to catch up soon as it's rather bizarre being away from the intrnet for so long. Thanks to you all in advance for your thoughts. x

8 weeks 3 days - appointment this afternoon!

Hi everyone! I forgot to also say thanks for your comments about the belly gallery. I don't have any clear idea about when the next photo will be - maybe 10 weeks? Every two weeks from then on? Or maybe every 4 weeks so that it shows amongst my flubber more? That's the main reason for wanting it - to see how it changes and to have a record, because I'm sure when I'm bigger I'll not remember how I looked at 8 weeks, or whatever.

Oooh! And I can't believe my first appointment is FINALLY here! 4 hours from now I'll be in the room with the midwife :D My pee is sitting in the bathroom ready to transfer into the small tube thing I got given. But how embarrassing! Hehe. "Here, here's a tube of my wee, enjoy! Mmmmm what a lovely orangey colour it is!" Heh ok I'll spare you any more details. Guess I'm just bouncing off the walls a bit, to know I'm finally HERE. I hope we get LOTS of information to think about, and perhaps even a date for the scan. Oh my, I'm just soooo excited that I'll be seeing new tiny BABY in a month or so! I can't still believe I'm pregnant, really... truly.... pregnant! I mean, I've got used to the fact that I am now... but until I see the baby, I won't QUITE believe that inside me is this tiny being that's growing from a tiny egg into an actual PERSON!

My baby is now officially a fetus, not an embryo anymore. He or she is now 1.6cm in length. He or she now has eyelids, its hands now bend at the wrist and it has lost its tail. He or she even has tiny fingers!

Hmmm. I just read somewhere it's not uncommon to have an internal examination at this appointment - maybe that's just America, but I guess I will see for myself - good to be expecting it anyway, incase it does. Anyway, I'd best get downstairs, and get myself some breakfast.

Thanks for reading!