11 weeks along with baby number 4, little Pipkin

All the grandparents now know they are expecting another precious grandchild come March next year. We've not told siblings yet but will do once we have the scan no doubt. The scan is at the moment set for 2nd September late afternoon,which isn't very convenient due to the fact that we are on holiday from this Friday til next Friday (2nd September). I've tried phoning up three or four times to rearrange it but no luck getting through or getting a callback (I've left 2 messages so far). It might be possible just to get to the appointment on time but it will be close and will rob our chance to break the journey with a few hours at a park or something else.

We will be going with my inlaws this time. We don't usually holiday with our parents, but we have decided to this year because my father-in-law got a poor prognosis diagnosis of prostate cancer earlier in the year. He has just finished his last session of chemotherapy last Thursday so he should be feeling fine on the holiday. It'll be lovely for us all to create some lovely memories together!

Changing the subject, at the weekend we told my dad and step-mum about Pipkin. How we announced it was we signed a birthday card with Pipkin's name along with our own. I wrote something along the lines of how I hoped he didn't spent the entire birthday party the day before under an umbrella, which he answered, but completely missed Pipkin's mention underneath! 😂 He turned to talk to one of the boys while my step-mum picked up the card, read it, and we watched her reactions carefully. Her eyes widened, she turned to us, mouth open slightly and said "is this an announcement?" When we nodded, she said with amusement "he didn't notice did he?" *head shake* "um, love, I think you should read your card again!" Haha! Reactions have greatly been positive/neutral which I'm grateful for. I haven't been expecting hugely excited reactions like you tend to get for number one (and maybe number two) but as long as they're not negative that's great.

Other news, the morning sickness has returned, I'm generally feeling pretty pants. It's a bit worse too as I've actually retched a few times before I made myself take a sip of water or lie down. Still grateful that I have it mildly compared to some, but it is definitely hampering my ability to function in day to day stuff. Making meals is difficult. Staying upright is difficult. The list of jobs I want to get done before our week away is not getting any shorter which isn't good. I felt sick all day yesterday. I managed to set the washing machine going, make meals for the boys, and sweep the floor. That's about it. I need to hang up yesterday's washing, get another load on, clear and clean the inside of the car (although just clearing it will be better than nothing), and make a start packing the suitcases. I woke this morning feeling better, but the sickness is descending again, but I am determined to power through. If I get at least one job ticked off the list I will be happy. I will do this!

Thanks for your private congratulations, and your comments. I know I'm not a frequent poster anymore. Xx

Baby 4 - 8 weeks 3 days

Feeling very glad I have this blog to offload in. During my last pregnancy, I offloaded in a group on Facebook and in statuses on my page, and I ended up getting the feeling that people were getting frustrated with my attitude to certain aspects of my pregnancy. I had one fairly kindly worded comment, once when I was a week overdue and counting, about my frustration at going over, which underneath the kind wording basically said "stop moaning, some people can't actually gestate babies to full term and they would give anything to be in your situation, and they have a lot more problems with their babies than you do, so stfu." since then I have felt somewhat like I can't offload in places like that, especially with stuff that is probably trivial compared to others' situations. At least here, readership is limited, but it gives me that place where I can actually say stuff that I don't want to keep bottled inside.

I haven't even told that group about my pregnancy yet. I've not told many people about it to be fair. Only my mum, husband (obviously), the boys (more on that shortly), Alice, a few Facebook friends, the ones that I stayed in contact with from my first pregnancy forum foray, and you guys. Not necessarily in that order. :) but yeah that's basically the reason why I am considering keeping it off Facebook for the most part, because once it's public knowledge, I feel like I will have a licence to moan. And I DO NOT WANT to moan with this little one. There are some aspects of pregnancy that are not pleasant of course, but on the whole I am so thrilled to be carrying this life inside me. It's all a little surreal at the moment, as I always find it in the early weeks, when all you get to go on is the second pink line, and the early symptoms, and the lack of period. This being my last pregnancy, I really want to savour it! I want to really notice everything, record it all and feel good about it.

I'm feeling like the positivity is a little hard to come by at the moment, because my morning sickness this time round is much worse than with the others. I'm still not actually vomiting, but with all my other babies, I had just the mildest nausea on waking, which went away within an hour. The norm for this pregnancy seems to be: wake up, feel mostly OK. Get up. Feel nauseous. Try to eat breakfast. Eat some. Feel a bit better. Nausea stays to some degree until 3-4pm which puts me off eating somewhat. Feel fairly normal in the evening. Repeat on waking the next day. The day before yesterday I felt fine on getting up. Hooray I thought. Prematurely! I then started feeling sick around 10am,and felt nauseous for the rest of the day, much worse than normal. Luckily yesterday was a normal day, but this morning I feel OK again which has left me with a foreboding feeling for what may await me the rest of the day! I'm now gone 8 weeks, which means I've now missed two periods. Thankfully bleeding is the same as with my other babies, that is, non existent. I was worried in the early days as I had spotting AFTER my BFP. Which I'd never had before, always in the days before my period was due. But after two small spotting instances at around 4.5 weeks I've seen nothing since.

Last night I was sitting watching TV, and my tummy was popping like crazy. I KNOW it's way too early to feel movements yet but I did wonder for a while. But nope, more than likely just wind. :) I can't wait to start feeling the baby. Neither can the boys, Robert in particular, which leads me to what I was going to talk more about.

We told the boys about the baby on Sunday. They (the older two at least) looked at me incredulously when I told them, then they asked "what? There's a baby in there? Right NOW?" They looked so happy! :) Daniel doesn't really understand. He's only just turned 3 a few months ago so it's all a bit surreal for him, and I don't blame him, because he can't SEE the baby, and I don't have a bump yet or anything. Robert is by far the most interested. He knows about how a baby is made, since he asked one day, and we answered very basically, but he kept asking for more and more detail so we answered him honestly. Anyway, when he found out about the baby, he asked me "did you and daddy breed then?" (breed! Haha!) and when I answered him affirmatively, he then asked "did you breed at night?" when I answered yes, he then looked all downcast and said "awwww! I wanted to see it!" to which my eyes probably popped out of their sockets and I thought "ummmmm.. I'm pretty glad you didn't, and I'm pretty sure you'd be glad too!" Robert has since asked me lots of questions about the baby, about the baby's milk (and has begged me to let him try some from a cup when the baby is born, something I have no problem with), about how big the baby is, whether it will be a boy or a girl, where the baby will sleep, and so on. Christopher is slightly less interested but I know he will become more interested as the pregnancy progresses and he sees the scan pictures, sees the bump and feels the baby kick. :) Robert will LOVE it all, and seeing as he is home educated, he will more than likely be attending all my antenatal appointments with me so will see the midwife check my blood pressure, see them take my blood for the blood tests, hear the heartbeat, see her feeling my abdomen and measuring it. What lovely learning experiences for him! My first appointment is in 5 days (counting down!!) which he won't be attending as it is an hour and a half long and mostly filling in forms that I am aware of.

In a few weeks time we will be going away on holiday with my in laws. We don't usually holiday with the boys' grandparents, but since we learned in February that my father in law has stage 4 prostate cancer, we have come to realise that they will not be around forever, and this is a wonderful opportunity for them and the boys to make memories with each other. We are thinking that we will go away with the other grandparents over the coming years as well. I'm hoping that by then my sickness will have abated, or lessened, as I will be 11-12 weeks by then. Of course it still may be going on, but I will have to see. I am guessing that the in-laws will find out they are expecting their 5th grandchild while we are on holiday together! I've been looking at mugs where they are plain on the outside and on the bottom on the inside they have a secret message. I so want to buy one of those! :) also I've got a cute picture for announcing the pregnancy on Facebook if I choose to. :)

Well that post ended up longer than I thought! Well done if you got to the end!

Baby 4 - 7 weeks 4 days gestation

So, at the beginning of the week I turned 7 weeks pregnant. Previously I'd been feeling somewhat non-pregnant, but these last few days the morning sickness has ramped up and the baby is definitely making its presence felt! As this will be my last pregnancy (planned one anyway), I am determined to make the most of it though, so right now I am thankful that I am not actually vomiting although I feel really rough a lot of the time. Straight out of bed is pretty bad. I feel like I could throw up at that time, but it helps to have a drink of water before lying back down again for a while. I find myself forcing myself to eat food, even though I don't always feel up to it, because I know that not eating will make it worse. That time around 11-12 noon is pretty bad because I've been up a few hours, and I'm starting to get hungry again. I had to cut a play at the park short earlier so we could get back and eat. If I had to compare, based on what I can remember, my morning sickness is worse this time round, but I can't really say it's hugely worse, and I am just mainly thankful that it's not as bad as it could be. I'm confident that it will dissipate within a few weeks and I will be able to enjoy the rest of pregnancy.

I am getting to the stage where I think about telling the parents that they have a new grandchild on the way. I know it's all still early days and there's no rush to tell them, but I am kind of dreading it. I'm sure it will be fine, we will probably get shocked "really? Another one?" reactions but they'll get over it soon enough. Part of me thinks we should just wait til they notice the bump, then they can speculate between themselves, and get the negativity over with in private, before it gets really obvious and they're just looking for confirmation.

The kids still don't know either. We get the occasional comment from the boys about "if we have another baby". This morning, Daniel said to me "you have a baby in your beh-yee." and I replied "do I? There's a baby in there?" and he shook his head no. Hah! And a few weeks ago, Christopher said wistfully "I wish I had a baby sister." I asked him if he did have one, what would he call her? And he said "Daisy. Or Amelia." :) unfortunately if it is a girl we can't call her Amelia because he already has a cousin called that, and Daisy isn't really a name I'm too keen on (plus, we have a D name already!) Maisy might be nice though ;) Robert hasn't said anything about maybe being a brother again but it's just not on his mind at the moment I think. When the pregnancy progresses I think he will enjoy coming to antenatal appointments with me and hearing the heartbeat etc. He was 4 during my last pregnancy so I think he will be much more fascinated, as will Christopher who is coming up for 6 in 2 months time!

So.. Some news....

So I'm just going to jump right in here and post this...



Yep, baby number 4 is on it's way! I'm almost 7 weeks pregnant now. Not many symptoms at the moment, I had a few days before I had the positive test where I was SO tired (I'm pretty much always tired, but this was on another level). Peeing slightly more maybe. And in the days following the positive test, I had a rather full uterus feeling, and some brown spotting.

Now, the full feeling has diminished, the tiredness is back roughly to the same level as normal (maybe slightly more?). I think I'm now getting morning sickness symptoms. I say I think, because this time last week, I was feeling queasy, then threw up in the night, a few days after C (now 5) and D (now 3) were both sick in the night. Basically a bug worked its way through everyone. So now, a week later, I should be 100%, but I've been feeling funny for a lot of the day for several days running, which has worked it's way into a pattern. I wake up feeling fine. As soon as I'm up, I start feeling odd within half an hour. I feel like I don't want to eat, but in the way that I know if I do I'll feel better. So I eat breakfast, which doesn't really help, but also doesn't make me feel worse. The slightly queasy/off feeling lasts until mid to late afternoon, then I feel better and up for eating more, and I don't feel put off by sweet or rich foods like I do prior to that.

Basically I think the bug has morphed into morning sickness, without really getting a break from the bug first.

Another thing I've noticed is that I'm incredibly spotty this time. I'm getting spots on my chest and face. But also I'm getting patches where it's red, dry and sore, with lots of little raised spots, like blackheads but white. Ive never had anything like it to my recollection, maybe as a teen but who knows, that was forever ago! They feel horrible. I've tried cocoa butter on them which might be helping I just need to persevere.

All in all though, not much happening so far, in fact I often forget I'm pregnant. We're not sure when we are going to tell the boys, or the family. As of yet, only a few people know I'm pregnant. I am considering keeping it off facebook completely, as I know I am seen as a complainer... And if I know I'm not going to talk about it on there, it might help that front.

So that's about it for now.... Thanks for reading.

More.. 8 weeks pregnant

Thanks everyone who commented :) I love getting that email to tell me someone's left a comment (only a bit annoyed that it also notifies me that I've replied to someone as well lol).

The morning sickness has ramped up a bit. This is so new for me, I know it IS morning sickness as I've felt queasy or downright nauseous for about a week now, and last night, when I got up for my new nightly wee, I sat on the toilet, and instantly felt like I was going to throw up. So much so I finished my wee, and immediately went and laid on the floor in the hopes that it would make me feel better. I stayed there for about 5 minutes, before the urge to throw up disappeared. This morning I also felt bad, struggled to eat my cereal, but luckily I had a helper on hand, Christopher who started helping himself to my cereal at the same time!!

We arrived back at the in-laws yesterday afternoon from our holiday, around 2.45 or so. We had to go there first, as Jonathan had parked his Yaris over there as well so the builders could make a start on the conversion while we were on holiday. His sister and our niece was there, which was lovely! She's getting so big now! She's 14 months and definitely exhibiting a lovely toddler personality :) (and SO cute with blue blue eyes and curly dark blonde hair!) Felt a bit queasy while we were there, but nothing too bad. The in-laws, that is, mother in law and father in law now know about baby number 3 (I can't remember if I already said or not), as does my mum. But no-one else apart from some people on internet land!

When we got back home we found a skip on the drive in front of the garage, piles of sand and gravel, and bricks. And on the other side, where there was a patch of grass to begin with, is now a lovely new driveway! Unfortunately no drop kerb to get up there yet, but Jonathan parked his Yaris on overnight. Apparently the builders, who have carted away a load of sand and gravel, are coming back to make a start on building the wall in replacement of the garage door today, and also they need to see a structural engineer about supporting the house while they knock down a supporting wall! Eeep! But all exciting stuff, would be lovely to get everything finished by Christmas! I'm not sure when the projected ETC is, but I'm quietly hoping it'll all be complete by Christmas, with just interior decorating for us to do afterwards. I'm quietly wondering if I'll be able to bring up a kitchen re-fit for our newly extended kitchen/diner :)

8 weeks 6 days - oh no...

Arrival of morning sickness. This morning I felt... SICK. It even got to the point where I was wretching just from standing up, and running to the bathroom just incase. I've not been but I've gagged loads and Jonathan's even thought I might just throw up then and there because of it. I never had this with Robert, I just felt ever so slightly queasy first thing in the morning.

Today I asked Jonathan to go and make me a cup of tea because that helped my queasiness with Robert, but it didn't work straight away, in fact sitting up to drink it made it worse. But I'm feeling a little better now having drunk it all.

I even gagged while changing Robert's (wet) nappy. Just the smell of the urine was enough to make me gag.

As of writing, I've still not received my scan date. Although it might come with the post today. I will update if it does, but I'm not holding out a huge amount of hope. For now I'm just going to try and eat breakfast and hope I can keep it down.

Edit at 6.23pm:

I was sick just before midday. :( It's strange but even though the sicky feeling wasn't as bad as it was before, I just seemed to know I was going to actually be sick and ran to the loo. I felt better for about 10-15 minutes afterwards, so I did the washing up while Robert ate his lunch (I didn't eat anything) in the kitchen, but then afterwards I started feeling bad again :( I had a nap with Robert, and when we woke up, I felt really bad again. I've not been sick again though, but I've had 1 slice of dry toast and some drinks. I still feel sick/hungry but don't really feel like eating :( Oh. And I'm still waiting for my scan appointment. If it hasn't shown up by Thursday lunchtime I shall ring the midwife and see if she can chase it up. If it's her I chase it up with? Or should I find the number for the hospital scan department?

New design for Little Sausage

I was browsing design sites, and I came across a site that had some nice designs on - even if most of them aren't firefox compatible! :) So I decided to use one of them to give this site a more "fresh" look. And I really like it :) Yellow, which is one of my favourite colours, plus it's "neutral" (so good for both a boy or a girl baby!) :)

I've been feeling good this weekend. I got up around 9am today, sat at the computer to drink the cup of tea J made me, and I've felt NO twinges of nausea at all today! Maybe it's the earlier start? Some days I'll go through and not feel pregnant AT ALL, other days I'll feel all the "bleugh" ness of early pregnancy - tired, nausea, general lethargy. I can't WAIT til I get to see my tiny one... know for sure he/she is in there and is ok. And have something I can hold in my hand and say, yes, look, you can SEE I'm pregnant - here's a picture of my baby! I'm 10 weeks and 2 days - and how surreal that feels! Just over two weeks until the scan! But yay, 1/4 of the way through, double figures!

Well, it seems our name for the bump isn't quite what I was expecting it to be - the name "Little Sausage" or just "Sausage" seems to have stuck whenever J and I talk about it with each other! I don't know whether that's better than "Haggis" at all! :D

I was watching a random girl's belly gallery slideshow to music several days ago, and the song that went with it was Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You" which I have listened to goodness knows how many times - I have the Affirmation album it features on. And I only then realised how appropriate it is for this journey I am embarking on - and indeed possibly every other woman who's dying to meet their tiny babe.

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

- I Knew I Loved You (Savage Garden)

Until next time, keep your chins up, and thanks for reading xx

9 weeks 5 days - feeling better

I've been struggling a bit with the feeling of sickness the past few days - not actually BEING sick, but definitely the feeling. And a few times I've even gagged. :( I asked Jonathan if he could bring me up a cup of tea before he left for work in the morning, and it seemed to help loads :) Surprising though that I managed to drink it before it got cold - I do love my lie-ins, and tend to fall asleep again for a while after he leaves for work - doh! ;)

I had my blood test done yesterday to check my blood type, rhesus, and anemia/HIV/rubella etc. Only I forgot my hand held notes and had to walk all the way back home for them in the pouring rain :( Luckily I was fitted in again, and was back home after the jabs less than an hour after my proper appointment - which means the walk there can't be more than 15 minutes - probably about 10 minutes or so.

On Saturday I will be TEN WEEKS pregnant. That's a quarter of the way through! I wish I knew what being pregnant was already like - it's so hard to tell whether things are going as normal, and whether I get a "good" vibe or whether it's just something else. But I think I get a good vibe from this pregnancy. I still have no real inkling as to whether my little one is a boy or a girl. I think right now, I would love Chloe Anne just as much as I would love Robert Stephen :) The name Robert Stephen means a lot more to me personally than Chloe Anne - Robert being the little boy in the nursery who was just lovely and gorgeous and sooo affectionate, and Stephen being my brother and my father-in-law. Chloe is a very sweet name, but has no "special meaning" as such, but Anne is lovely as it is the name of Jonathan's grandmother, who died in 2003, a few days after his birthday. I'd only known her for a couple of years, but she was a lovely lady, and seeing her deteriorate in the manner she did before her death was devastating beyond words. It would be nice to carry on her legacy in a little girl - her great grand-daughter. Maybe I should suggest to Jonathan about possibly double-barreling her name, so her name is Chloe-Anne rather than Chloe. (One of my friends at school was called Lesley-Anne - people called her both Lesley and Lesley-Anne)

I'm sure that if Anne was alive today she'd be proud that Jonathan and I will be celebrating our three year wedding anniversary in two weeks time, it's such a shame she never saw us married. And I know she'd be proud and happy to know we're having a baby. The last thing she wanted when we saw her a couple of days before she died was to see us kiss. She couldn't ask us properly because her voice had deteriorated so badly, she had to motion with her hands what she wanted us to do. Goodness, it's so upsetting still to think about how she was in the weeks before she died, when I think about what she was like when she was well. We knew she was going to go soon when we visited her a couple of days before Jonathan's birthday - it goes to show her strength that she held on a few days longer so she didn't die on his birthday. Ack, here I go again, if she was here, she'd be telling me off for getting all upset about how she was. So I'll cheer up again so that when I see her again, hopefully in many years to come, she won't tell me off for being a miserable person lamenting on her death for so long! I am just glad I got to know her :)

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot more energetic today than I have been the last week or so, which is great, and also does wonders for how I feel I think. :)

My little one is now around just over an inch long! And his or her tail has finally disappeared. He or she is also no longer an embryo, but a fetus! I can't wait til I see you in a couple of weeks, little one.. and hear that you're in there and healthy and happy. xx

9 weeks - date for first scan

Wheeeee I have a date for my first scan! :) Monday 12th May at 11.45. I'll be 12 weeks and 2 days at that stage, well, depending on what the sonographer then says my date is!

The last day or so I've been feeling a bit under the weather, kind of "bleugh". The night before last I was unable to finish my dinner, and I hadn't eaten a LOT during the day. Then the next morning, I had to stagger eat my cereal, which is very unusual for me! I hardly had anything at all to eat that day, just a few satsumas after that, and that was about it until J got home, by which point I was starving, so we went out to Pizza Hut for dinner, I managed the starter and the main course fine, but I think the choice of dessert was a little unwise, because as soon as I'd finished it I suddenly felt a bit queasy. :( Went to the loo, and once I'd come out, I felt fine (well, better), so maybe it was just that I needed to go!

Not many people know that I am the Nicola who was behind RP Designs, a design site I created new layouts for until maybe... uhh.. 2003? 2004? So whenever I stumble across a layout of mine someone still uses, it's really cool :D Especially if they're on my friends list, and they don't realise they're using one of my layouts! Becca has made a Forever Friends layout of mine into a lovely Winnie the Pooh layout. :) It looks great :D It still fills me with a warm bubbly feeling to know that out there, people still go to my site and use my layouts. Nice to stumble across one every now and then :) All of my layouts for my new diaries I make myself, obviously, although lately, I've not been doing them from scratch, I usually modify one I like the look of, and change around colours and images. I might change this diary's layout to be honest, it's a little "heavy" and I think something in pastels would be much nicer and easier on the eye.

I'll get round to it at some point I guess! :)

I'd better go now, and get something inside me, before I start feeling ill again. A cup of tea will do for now, just something so my stomach isn't empty. It does seem to be getting worse in general which is odd, as I am now about 9 weeks pregnant, which is 3 weeks later than I was expecting it. Ah well, I guess I'll just see how it goes, go with the flow, that sort of thing!

I'm just so glad we've got a date for the scan :) I can't wait to see that my little one is all snug and healthy in there, and maybe hear its heart beating. Hopefully it'll be a magical day for us :)

8 weeks 4 days - appointment, hormones,etc

Ah ok, so I had the appointment yesterday afternoon. :) The midwife seemed ok, but a little cold to begin with, but by the end of the appointment she began to "warm up" a little. She went through medical background, genetic background and so on, took my BP which she said was fine, tested my wee for sugar (surprisingly NOT to see if I was pregnant - I still have had no medical staff confirm my pregnancy), and there was none in my urine. Since I have never smoked, (although was a passive smoker for some years when living with my mother) and have given up drinking since I found out I was pregnant, and have had no major health worries at all apart from a bout of depression about 7 years ago, she says I am fine and healthy (although rather unfit and overweight - she didn't say that, but I know it myself). She's sent off the paperwork to Kettering Hospital (where I will be going for the birth most likely) for my scans, and hopefully I'll get the date for the scan in the mail in the next 2 weeks. But she said it was more likely to be at the 13 week mark rather than the 11-12 week mark, since they said they're fairly busy (lots of women having babies in Kettering in November??). So I'm expecting a date between 16th-23rd May for my first scan. They're also going to do the downs and spinadafria or whatever it's called test at the same time. And next Wednesday I'll be going in to get my antenatal blood test done which'll let me know what blood type I am, and whether I'm rhesus positive or negative. She gave us a lot of information and a free pregnancy book too!

I'm noticing lately that my queasiness while isn't anything very serious as such, is preventing me from wanting to go and get myself much to eat, at least not where I have to stand and prepare it for very long. I feel queasier standing up, and it doesn't all go away straight away now, although it is fairly mild still.

Also... boy, my hormones are sure kicking in... I was watching SG1, the episode where Janet Frasier dies, and I was BAWLING literally. I've seen the episode before, and am well known for crying at stuff, but usually if it's cry-worthy, it'll be a few tears and that's it, but I was crying almost as hard as a time I remember when I was in the process of breaking up with my ex who I'd been with for 2 years. And a week or so ago, I felt some tears running down my face when watching Friends - not the episode where Monica and Chandler get engaged - which has ALWAYS managed to extract some tears... but the episode where Monica hurts her hand when playing Mike at table tennis, so Chandler takes over, and beats Mike for her. It was like "Awwww Chandler beat Mike for Monica! That's sooo sweet *sob sob*" and while I was all teary and stuff I was thinking "What on EARTH?? Why am I crying over this episode???" It is just bizarre, the things I cry over these days, and the INTENSITY of my feelings and how much I cry over stuff.

But it's sooo great, how pregnant of me! Before long I'll be crying over baby oil commercials where they say "now YOU can have baby-soft skin!"

Oh and on a whim the other day I looked up my old diary, diaryland still has it! And it has a good few years of entries, leading up to our wedding and also the years I spent at work in the nursery. I read quite a lot of entries about work - and can't believe I stayed there for so long. I read back at these entries and it all comes flooding back how I felt about some of these things, some of the people there. Which was a shame, because I *LOVED* working with the children. But after a while it seemed that every day I was coming home, feeling crap, and dejected, and feeling like it wasn't worth going back the next day. Which is why hopefully I will LOVE having children - all the rewards and benefits, none of the snooty colleagues, or mouthy parents, and no friggin paperwork! The only thing is that I changed all the names of the particular children in the diary, so when I read back a particular one, I had no idea who was who! Well except for a couple of them, who I worked out from the description in the entry. But yes it's certainly possible to get attached to children you work with, so I have no DOUBT how much I will love this tiny being inside me.

Wow, a lot of waffling today! Hope you're all okay. x

6 weeks 5 days (ish) - morning sickness

I think this is the start of my morning sickness. I didn't get any queasiness yesterday, but did get it the day before, and it happened again this morning. I'm reaaaaaaally hoping that this is the extent of my morning sickness. Because I can totally deal with going to the loo, then feeling queasy sitting there, then climbing back into bed for another half hour or so! :)

I felt really clumsy last night too - but I think that's partly because I ate too late. Was feeling a bit lightheaded and faint, so I asked J to go put some food on, which he did , and I ate it all (the sweetcorn was soooo yummy! He'd cooked it just right so it was still sort of crunchy and mmmm... delicious!)

My sense of smell is definitely increasing too. I took a shower yesterday and the shower gel I've used since before I got pregnant smelt REALLY strong...

So Yay! I really feel pregnant! And am getting lots of nice pregnancy symptoms! I still can't really believe I'm on this journey for real...