Feeling very glad I have this blog to offload in. During my last pregnancy, I offloaded in a group on Facebook and in statuses on my page, and I ended up getting the feeling that people were getting frustrated with my attitude to certain aspects of my pregnancy. I had one fairly kindly worded comment, once when I was a week overdue and counting, about my frustration at going over, which underneath the kind wording basically said "stop moaning, some people can't actually gestate babies to full term and they would give anything to be in your situation, and they have a lot more problems with their babies than you do, so stfu." since then I have felt somewhat like I can't offload in places like that, especially with stuff that is probably trivial compared to others' situations. At least here, readership is limited, but it gives me that place where I can actually say stuff that I don't want to keep bottled inside.
I haven't even told that group about my pregnancy yet. I've not told many people about it to be fair. Only my mum, husband (obviously), the boys (more on that shortly), Alice, a few Facebook friends, the ones that I stayed in contact with from my first pregnancy forum foray, and you guys. Not necessarily in that order. :) but yeah that's basically the reason why I am considering keeping it off Facebook for the most part, because once it's public knowledge, I feel like I will have a licence to moan. And I DO NOT WANT to moan with this little one. There are some aspects of pregnancy that are not pleasant of course, but on the whole I am so thrilled to be carrying this life inside me. It's all a little surreal at the moment, as I always find it in the early weeks, when all you get to go on is the second pink line, and the early symptoms, and the lack of period. This being my last pregnancy, I really want to savour it! I want to really notice everything, record it all and feel good about it.
I'm feeling like the positivity is a little hard to come by at the moment, because my morning sickness this time round is much worse than with the others. I'm still not actually vomiting, but with all my other babies, I had just the mildest nausea on waking, which went away within an hour. The norm for this pregnancy seems to be: wake up, feel mostly OK. Get up. Feel nauseous. Try to eat breakfast. Eat some. Feel a bit better. Nausea stays to some degree until 3-4pm which puts me off eating somewhat. Feel fairly normal in the evening. Repeat on waking the next day. The day before yesterday I felt fine on getting up. Hooray I thought. Prematurely! I then started feeling sick around 10am,and felt nauseous for the rest of the day, much worse than normal. Luckily yesterday was a normal day, but this morning I feel OK again which has left me with a foreboding feeling for what may await me the rest of the day! I'm now gone 8 weeks, which means I've now missed two periods. Thankfully bleeding is the same as with my other babies, that is, non existent. I was worried in the early days as I had spotting AFTER my BFP. Which I'd never had before, always in the days before my period was due. But after two small spotting instances at around 4.5 weeks I've seen nothing since.
Last night I was sitting watching TV, and my tummy was popping like crazy. I KNOW it's way too early to feel movements yet but I did wonder for a while. But nope, more than likely just wind. :) I can't wait to start feeling the baby. Neither can the boys, Robert in particular, which leads me to what I was going to talk more about.
We told the boys about the baby on Sunday. They (the older two at least) looked at me incredulously when I told them, then they asked "what? There's a baby in there? Right NOW?" They looked so happy! :) Daniel doesn't really understand. He's only just turned 3 a few months ago so it's all a bit surreal for him, and I don't blame him, because he can't SEE the baby, and I don't have a bump yet or anything. Robert is by far the most interested. He knows about how a baby is made, since he asked one day, and we answered very basically, but he kept asking for more and more detail so we answered him honestly. Anyway, when he found out about the baby, he asked me "did you and daddy breed then?" (breed! Haha!) and when I answered him affirmatively, he then asked "did you breed at night?" when I answered yes, he then looked all downcast and said "awwww! I wanted to see it!" to which my eyes probably popped out of their sockets and I thought "ummmmm.. I'm pretty glad you didn't, and I'm pretty sure you'd be glad too!" Robert has since asked me lots of questions about the baby, about the baby's milk (and has begged me to let him try some from a cup when the baby is born, something I have no problem with), about how big the baby is, whether it will be a boy or a girl, where the baby will sleep, and so on. Christopher is slightly less interested but I know he will become more interested as the pregnancy progresses and he sees the scan pictures, sees the bump and feels the baby kick. :) Robert will LOVE it all, and seeing as he is home educated, he will more than likely be attending all my antenatal appointments with me so will see the midwife check my blood pressure, see them take my blood for the blood tests, hear the heartbeat, see her feeling my abdomen and measuring it. What lovely learning experiences for him! My first appointment is in 5 days (counting down!!) which he won't be attending as it is an hour and a half long and mostly filling in forms that I am aware of.
In a few weeks time we will be going away on holiday with my in laws. We don't usually holiday with the boys' grandparents, but since we learned in February that my father in law has stage 4 prostate cancer, we have come to realise that they will not be around forever, and this is a wonderful opportunity for them and the boys to make memories with each other. We are thinking that we will go away with the other grandparents over the coming years as well. I'm hoping that by then my sickness will have abated, or lessened, as I will be 11-12 weeks by then. Of course it still may be going on, but I will have to see. I am guessing that the in-laws will find out they are expecting their 5th grandchild while we are on holiday together! I've been looking at mugs where they are plain on the outside and on the bottom on the inside they have a secret message. I so want to buy one of those! :) also I've got a cute picture for announcing the pregnancy on Facebook if I choose to. :)
Well that post ended up longer than I thought! Well done if you got to the end!
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