It's Sunday 19th September. There are only 6 days until I get admitted to hospital for my induction. I have so much to do but it will all come together, and this last week will fly by and I think it would be nice to have a written record of how things are going in my last week as Mummy to one gorgeous boy. This time next week I really hope I will be cuddled up with my newest little baby, having had a labour that has gone swimmingly well.
Jonathan has gone into town to buy me a birthing ball (well, Gym Ball, but same difference, only cheaper), and to buy a hard backed envelope for Robert's cbeebies birthday card (another thing to finish before next weekend!).
I have been feeling Squidge engage a few times over the last couple of days, but then notice s/he has come back out again and feeling all squashed up again under my ribs. I've been averaging well over 3 cups of raspberry leaf tea a day for 3 weeks (at one point averaging 4 but got below that a bit now), and hoping that bouncing on the birthing ball this week may help things along. I've also been trying to ensure I have regular braxton hicks in the hope that it might help things along somehow, if not start labour then at least start getting things ready.
Things have been quite squashed up the last few days, and beginning to definitely get that "heavily pregnant" feeling. Last night we were at the in-laws sorting out induction weekend plans, and we had a Chinese takeaway in the evening. Leaving Jonathan, MIL and FIL nicely satiated, and me positively bloated having had the same amount! So much so I did have trouble tying my shoe laces to go home, having had no problems for the rest of the pregnancy particularly! I have been huffing and puffing a lot lately, even after not doing particularly much, which Jonathan has said is getting a little annoying but he can understand why I'm doing it, so he doesn't complain lol! I do feel lucky in that I know I only have 1 week to go, whereas if I wasn't being induced I'd be facing up to 5 weeks to go which seems like a huge amount more!
Squidge is still nice and active, apart from one sleepy day I think on Monday last week, and I rarely notice the times inbetween his many active moments! Some are more active than others, sometimes I just feel his bum/knee gently shift position and stick out of my belly gently, other times I feel a big "bloop" movement of his bum, combined with a foot sticking out one side of my belly, plus little hand swishing movements down there as well!
I've been a little looser in the bowel movement situation lately as well, which is getting my hopes up for an induction-free labour. I remember that two days before Robert was born we went out to a restuarant in the evening, and I went to the loo after the meal and had quite a large loose BM then. I keep feeling pressure in some sense or another as well, which of course may just be when Squidge is becoming engaged, and will mean nothing. Last night I was wondering if things might be getting ready for the beginning of things, as I felt small waves of sensations at the very bottom of my bump, but then stopped, and wondered if maybe they might have been related in some way to the bloatedness earlier in the evening, or Squidge engaging.
Only time will tell! But once I have wrapped up this entry I will be going and finishing my hospital bag, and also making notes on my birth plan and getting that typed up as well. Plus a list of last minute questions to ask my midwife tomorrow, as that will be my last antenatal appointment!
Also I don't know if I mentioned it here, but Squidge now does have a name set aside for him/her in either eventuality. :) I'm so pleased that I have kept the surprise for myself for the big day, I know there are many people who argue that it is a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks, 30 weeks, or on the birthing day, but having known with Robert at 20 weeks, and not knowing with this one, I must admit there IS a difference... the anticipation and excitement not only of meeting your little baby and discovering whose nose he has, or whose eyes he has, but also the fact that you've not known all this time whether he is a boy or a girl, the anticipation for me seems to be a HUGE amount greater than it was with Robert. I just can't wait to find out whether Robert is having a brother or sister! And each day the excitement gets greater! I think that if we do have a third child, I would love to keep the sex a surprise again. I have not regretted keeping it a surprise at all, and to me, buying neutral clothes, neutral bedding, packing little white jackets and blankets does not make me feel "less prepared" as many people state as their reason for finding out, nor are we financially worse off, we have kept all of Robert's clothes, so if it's a boy, he can wear those as well as the neutral things (to give us a break of blue blue blue), and if it's a girl, then we can reuse some of the boys clothes (vests, socks etc) and keep the rest incase we have a third.
I love the way I've kept changing my mind on what I think it is... I had that huge chunk of time when I had a niggling feeling it was a girl, now I think it's a boy! I will be over the moon whatever our baby is, and just can't wait for Jonathan to tell me! (And I think he will enjoy that priviledge too, despite having wanted to find out at the scan!) I can't wait to hold my baby on my chest, feel his/her warmth on my body, and call him/her by name for the first time, and welcome little Squidge into the world by introducing them to Jonathan, my mum, the midwife by name.
I shall go now, and start doing all the things I need to get done. Finish packing the hospital bags and Robert's weekend bag, making notes on questions for the midwife and my birth plan.
I hope you all are having a lovely weekend! I will try and update this week, by Thursday at the latest with my last belly picture, and hopefully the news that all is ready, clothes are in drawers, boxes are in the loft, cot is clear, bags are packed and so on! Huge hugs to you all, I know this isn't quite the end of this pregnancy but it is drawing nearer and you have all been a fabulous source of support and comfort to me. Will update soon!
Sunday, 19 September 2010
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
36 weeks 5 days - the countdown
Well, now induction has been organised, we're now in the final countdown. 11 days to go! I am nervous, but I'm going to go in with a positive attitude and take things as it comes.
And to be honest, I am getting a little relieved that I do have an end in sight, that I'm going to have the baby early, as the late pregnancy niggles are now starting to come in with some force, particularly the pelvic pain. I am glad it's come later than Robert (I think at least), but I am glad that I don't have many more days (well, nights) to endure. Today was quite bad for the pain during the day as well, gone are the sitting on the floor days, getting up from the floor, or from a laying down position are bad now. Heartburn I get occasionally but is infinitely better than with R.. as such I will not be surprised to see that Squidge is bald! Swelling is minimal at the moment, thank goodness, after enduring 2 months of bad swelling with Robert, less than 11 days with this one seems like a walk in the park!
Something I was a little annoyed about is that my midwife is refusing to do a sweep on me at all.. this week fair enough I'm not 37 weeks yet. But she's not even going to do one on Monday either when I'll be 37+4. The reason being because my consultant has not expressly said give me a sweep. So the chances of me going into natural labour are soley based on Squidge now, and hopefully Squidge is just as keen to get here before induction as I am.
But either way I am eagerly packing my hospital bag, and looking forward to meeting my little Squidge, and on the next chapter. Whatever may happen at the birth, having been through one traumatic birth already I am probably a little better prepared incase things don't go to plan, especially on what to do afterwards regarding my mental welfare. But fingers crossed that the birth goes wonderfully, and that it is a healing process for me in dealing with Robert's birth as well.
And to be honest, I am getting a little relieved that I do have an end in sight, that I'm going to have the baby early, as the late pregnancy niggles are now starting to come in with some force, particularly the pelvic pain. I am glad it's come later than Robert (I think at least), but I am glad that I don't have many more days (well, nights) to endure. Today was quite bad for the pain during the day as well, gone are the sitting on the floor days, getting up from the floor, or from a laying down position are bad now. Heartburn I get occasionally but is infinitely better than with R.. as such I will not be surprised to see that Squidge is bald! Swelling is minimal at the moment, thank goodness, after enduring 2 months of bad swelling with Robert, less than 11 days with this one seems like a walk in the park!
Something I was a little annoyed about is that my midwife is refusing to do a sweep on me at all.. this week fair enough I'm not 37 weeks yet. But she's not even going to do one on Monday either when I'll be 37+4. The reason being because my consultant has not expressly said give me a sweep. So the chances of me going into natural labour are soley based on Squidge now, and hopefully Squidge is just as keen to get here before induction as I am.
But either way I am eagerly packing my hospital bag, and looking forward to meeting my little Squidge, and on the next chapter. Whatever may happen at the birth, having been through one traumatic birth already I am probably a little better prepared incase things don't go to plan, especially on what to do afterwards regarding my mental welfare. But fingers crossed that the birth goes wonderfully, and that it is a healing process for me in dealing with Robert's birth as well.
Thursday, 9 September 2010
36 weeks - growth scan & cervix assessment
Well what a day...
Robert went for a nap before lunchtime, I gave him a banana to tide him over til after his nap, and he slept for barely 30 minutes (out of a usual 1.5 hour) before he started screaming the place down. When it became apparent to me that that was it for his nap, I got him up, sorted out washing, got the changing bag packed, etc, gave him some lunch.
Appointment was at 2.10pm. Got there about 20 minutes early, and finally got in for the scan. Baby's tummy was almost on the top centile line, but leg was on the 50th, can't remember the head measurement! But estimated weight is 6lb 12oz at 36 weeks exactly.
Here is my gorgeous little baby...
Went up for the fetal health appointment. It took a while to get seen as the midwife was unwilling to do the cervix assessment as I wasn't 37 weeks yet, and had to wait for my consultant (who was around) to come out and do it herself. Finally got called through, asked if I wanted the toilet then to go into a designated room, strip off down there and get under a sheet... lol at dignities going out of the window!!
Anyway, cervix assessment when she finally came in (was sat there waiting for about 5-10 minutes) was apparently favourable for a 2nd time mum, she reckons only 2 tablets will do the trick. Anyway, long story short, although I'm still not 100% happy, on my good days I'm 60-70% happy, I think if I go in there well prepared I will stand a good chance, so induction date has been set for 25th September, if things go well and quickly I may be a mum by the evening, if not, hopefully the 26th. We shall see.
But in the meantime... natural labour vibes would be appreciated. Going to order a birth/exercise ball tomorrow, and start doing everything I can to bring it on naturally. At least I know that if I do go into labour now, baby is a decent weight and should do well. And two weeks time.. well baby might still be under 8lb. I'm shocked that I might actually get my 8lber this time!
Robert went for a nap before lunchtime, I gave him a banana to tide him over til after his nap, and he slept for barely 30 minutes (out of a usual 1.5 hour) before he started screaming the place down. When it became apparent to me that that was it for his nap, I got him up, sorted out washing, got the changing bag packed, etc, gave him some lunch.
Appointment was at 2.10pm. Got there about 20 minutes early, and finally got in for the scan. Baby's tummy was almost on the top centile line, but leg was on the 50th, can't remember the head measurement! But estimated weight is 6lb 12oz at 36 weeks exactly.
Here is my gorgeous little baby...
Went up for the fetal health appointment. It took a while to get seen as the midwife was unwilling to do the cervix assessment as I wasn't 37 weeks yet, and had to wait for my consultant (who was around) to come out and do it herself. Finally got called through, asked if I wanted the toilet then to go into a designated room, strip off down there and get under a sheet... lol at dignities going out of the window!!
Anyway, cervix assessment when she finally came in (was sat there waiting for about 5-10 minutes) was apparently favourable for a 2nd time mum, she reckons only 2 tablets will do the trick. Anyway, long story short, although I'm still not 100% happy, on my good days I'm 60-70% happy, I think if I go in there well prepared I will stand a good chance, so induction date has been set for 25th September, if things go well and quickly I may be a mum by the evening, if not, hopefully the 26th. We shall see.
But in the meantime... natural labour vibes would be appreciated. Going to order a birth/exercise ball tomorrow, and start doing everything I can to bring it on naturally. At least I know that if I do go into labour now, baby is a decent weight and should do well. And two weeks time.. well baby might still be under 8lb. I'm shocked that I might actually get my 8lber this time!
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
35 weeks 5 days - another hormonal blip
Friday's entry was written amidst my third hormonal blip. I hate them! I hate the fact that I cannot stop crying, and that my head is clouded by emotion and that the next morning, my head clears and I can see and feel things more clearly. I hate that during that day I feel like I don't want my baby or that I won't be able to cope with my baby. I hate the feeling that I am about to sink into days or weeks or months of feeling like that all day every day. I actually get scared because I recognise it all too well from when I was depressed as a teen (6 long months of feeling that way almost every day), and from my PND with Robert. I never had such bad hormonal days with Robert, and it scares me that they keep coming, and I just hope that I'm not having a blip on the day Squidge is being born, as I will need a calm head to relax and know what I'm doing.
I saw my midwife yesterday, and told her about my feelings towards induction, and I told her it was incredibly important to me that I have a positive birth experience this time, which she understood, but she didn't really provide any advice or compromises to help me see through the decision - maybe she feels that it would be unprofessional to do so, and not back the NHS guidelines? Or maybe she thinks it's a decision I have to make.
I must admit though, when my head is clear, I feel more positive about induction than when I'm having a blip. I still don't know if I will have one... but when my head is clear I know that I will cope, and I know there are things I can do to make it easier on myself. Mainly that being to prepare myself mentally for all eventualities, and to get myself thinking about what I would want to happen should my ideals not happen. I think doing that would give me some "control" back which so many women want and need during labour. But of course my hope is that Squidge will decide that s/he wants to make it into the world early by his/her own choice! ;)
I have a busy day coming up on Thursday. I am having my growth scan, followed by a followup appointment in fetal health to analyse the scan, and to assess my cervix and possibly book an induction date. And then after that I'll head into pathology and get them to take my 34 week blood tests (2 weeks late). I've had 3 extra blood tests this pregnancy. Getting quite used to having things stuck in my arms now. Plus all the blood with these prick tests 3 times daily.
One thing I really need to get cracking on is my hospital bag, and Robert's overnight bag. Reading up on induction, he may well need several days worth of clothes in there. I would imagine what would happen is that Robert spend a few days with the in-laws, Jonathan would probably want to be with me during the days, but in the nights unless it is seen that I will be giving birth imminently, Jonathan will probably sleep at his parents so he can spend time with Robert in the morning at least. I don't know what the policy is on children coming in during the induction process, I will have to ask that next Monday at my next midwife appointment, as by then I think I will probably have had to make up my mind either way. But if it is long and drawn out, with me being in hospital for several days BEFORE the birth... I do worry about how Robert will be not seeing me for that long. And how I'll be not seeing HIM for that long! I missed him like crazy when the other week I felt too poorly to look after him alone so the in-laws took him for the day. That was from 11am til 6pm-ish.. so it wasn't even 12 hours. If I'm away from him for 2 or 3 whole days I don't know how I would cope! So worth asking about!
Thanks for reading, and thanks Jemma, Meg and Becca for your comments on the last entry, it meant a lot reading them xxx
I saw my midwife yesterday, and told her about my feelings towards induction, and I told her it was incredibly important to me that I have a positive birth experience this time, which she understood, but she didn't really provide any advice or compromises to help me see through the decision - maybe she feels that it would be unprofessional to do so, and not back the NHS guidelines? Or maybe she thinks it's a decision I have to make.
I must admit though, when my head is clear, I feel more positive about induction than when I'm having a blip. I still don't know if I will have one... but when my head is clear I know that I will cope, and I know there are things I can do to make it easier on myself. Mainly that being to prepare myself mentally for all eventualities, and to get myself thinking about what I would want to happen should my ideals not happen. I think doing that would give me some "control" back which so many women want and need during labour. But of course my hope is that Squidge will decide that s/he wants to make it into the world early by his/her own choice! ;)
I have a busy day coming up on Thursday. I am having my growth scan, followed by a followup appointment in fetal health to analyse the scan, and to assess my cervix and possibly book an induction date. And then after that I'll head into pathology and get them to take my 34 week blood tests (2 weeks late). I've had 3 extra blood tests this pregnancy. Getting quite used to having things stuck in my arms now. Plus all the blood with these prick tests 3 times daily.
One thing I really need to get cracking on is my hospital bag, and Robert's overnight bag. Reading up on induction, he may well need several days worth of clothes in there. I would imagine what would happen is that Robert spend a few days with the in-laws, Jonathan would probably want to be with me during the days, but in the nights unless it is seen that I will be giving birth imminently, Jonathan will probably sleep at his parents so he can spend time with Robert in the morning at least. I don't know what the policy is on children coming in during the induction process, I will have to ask that next Monday at my next midwife appointment, as by then I think I will probably have had to make up my mind either way. But if it is long and drawn out, with me being in hospital for several days BEFORE the birth... I do worry about how Robert will be not seeing me for that long. And how I'll be not seeing HIM for that long! I missed him like crazy when the other week I felt too poorly to look after him alone so the in-laws took him for the day. That was from 11am til 6pm-ish.. so it wasn't even 12 hours. If I'm away from him for 2 or 3 whole days I don't know how I would cope! So worth asking about!
Thanks for reading, and thanks Jemma, Meg and Becca for your comments on the last entry, it meant a lot reading them xxx
Friday, 3 September 2010
35 weeks 1 day - nothing is clearer
I feel on the verge of tears today, and have been all morning. In fact I have already shed some tears. I feel no closer to understanding anything, to making a decision, to even managing to make any sense of my feelings and how that equates to anything with regards to Squidge's possible induction.
I am so scared of the possibility that this labour and birth will not go well due to induction procedures. I feel like it is INCREDIBLY important to me that my birth experience goes well, for my emotional wellbeing. I keep thinking back to Robert's birth, and the numbness I felt towards him in the days after his birth. I tried to feel the love I was supposed to feel towards him, and I managed to convince myself I did. I keep thinking back to the ambulance trip, and the midwife telling me that it was ok to cry. But I was so numb that no tears came, no tears were able to come for several hours. And then the tears that came, I don't know what tears they were, were they tears for my son being ill? Or tears for the fact that I hadn't bonded with him? Or tears of emotional and physical exhaustion?
I don't want to go through that again. My ideals of birth I think have loosened a little since Robert was born. My ideals now are that the baby is born pink and healthy, that we can get immediate cuddles, immediate feeding. My fear with induction is that if things don't go to plan, we might end up being rushed into theatre, have an emergency c-section, and then if that happens I won't get my immediate cuddles, in an emergency section baby will most likely be whisked off as soon as he is born to check he is ok at best, and be submitted to SCBU again at worst. (well, thats not the worse outcome, but I'm refusing to think of the worst outcome here)
One thing I will do is speak to the midwife about my concerns and fears, maybe she will be able to say something to put my mind at ease or to help me in some other way.
With all this stress and worry I am so scared that even with a natural birth I won't cope very well. The idea of my baby's birth is just so upsetting to me right now, I don't know if I even want the day to come at all. Maybe an elective c section is the way to go this time round if they'll let me, I don't know :( I'm crying as I write this, I just don't know what to do or think anymore. :(
I am so scared of the possibility that this labour and birth will not go well due to induction procedures. I feel like it is INCREDIBLY important to me that my birth experience goes well, for my emotional wellbeing. I keep thinking back to Robert's birth, and the numbness I felt towards him in the days after his birth. I tried to feel the love I was supposed to feel towards him, and I managed to convince myself I did. I keep thinking back to the ambulance trip, and the midwife telling me that it was ok to cry. But I was so numb that no tears came, no tears were able to come for several hours. And then the tears that came, I don't know what tears they were, were they tears for my son being ill? Or tears for the fact that I hadn't bonded with him? Or tears of emotional and physical exhaustion?
I don't want to go through that again. My ideals of birth I think have loosened a little since Robert was born. My ideals now are that the baby is born pink and healthy, that we can get immediate cuddles, immediate feeding. My fear with induction is that if things don't go to plan, we might end up being rushed into theatre, have an emergency c-section, and then if that happens I won't get my immediate cuddles, in an emergency section baby will most likely be whisked off as soon as he is born to check he is ok at best, and be submitted to SCBU again at worst. (well, thats not the worse outcome, but I'm refusing to think of the worst outcome here)
One thing I will do is speak to the midwife about my concerns and fears, maybe she will be able to say something to put my mind at ease or to help me in some other way.
With all this stress and worry I am so scared that even with a natural birth I won't cope very well. The idea of my baby's birth is just so upsetting to me right now, I don't know if I even want the day to come at all. Maybe an elective c section is the way to go this time round if they'll let me, I don't know :( I'm crying as I write this, I just don't know what to do or think anymore. :(
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
34 weeks 6 days - induction thoughts
Click back if you missed my post yesterday about Robert, or maybe click back after reading this one as it'll be something positive to end on...
Before I talk about my consultant appointment this afternoon, I wanted to write down (for remembering sake) about the dream I had last night, or should I say nightmare... I never had a dream like this with Robert, which were all about the birth, or scans, or (ahem) kinky ones... but this one I had last night was horrendous. I woke up basically on the verge of tears after I dreamed very vividly a tiger chasing and then catching, and.. well, to put it less graphically than I saw it in my dream.. eating Robert. I felt such an intense feeling of anguish and helplessness in the dream the second before I woke up, that it was all I could do not to rush into Robert's room, scoop him up out of his cot, and hold onto him for dear life. When I told Jonathan I dreamt that a tiger ate Robert, I don't think he realised just how vivid the dream was for me as he made a joke about it, when actually I was pretty distressed about it. I've heard people saying how vivid dreams can be during pregnancy but I've never experienced anything quite like that before :( I really hope that's the only vivid nightmare I have to endure...
Anyway.. consultant appointment. BP and wee fine. Baby's 4/5 palpable (or at least that's what I think the notes say, the consultant's handwriting is very difficult to read), and did a lovely few wriggles during heartbeat monitoring.
Then came the rest of it. She said to me about induction, I reiterated that if I was favourable when checked I'd agree to induction at 38 weeks. Then she answered some questions, which has left me extremely nervous (at best) about the induction. I think a closer description would be terrified.
If I'm not favourable next week (at either 35+6 or 36 weeks) then I will be left til 39+6 weeks. If I've not already had the baby by then I will most likely be booked in for an induction for the next few days then, although goodness knows if I will be able to fight it, or if I will even want to, or whether I feel like I will have to.
I do kind of feel like I am in a state of limbo at the moment, not given all the facts, or given all of one side and not of the other.. I feel a little pulled in both directions right now. The first is my overwhelming thought that I do NOT want to be induced... the second that if I am not induced I will be increasing the risk to the baby's welfare. I am absolutely terrified of another bad birth experience, I really am. Obviously I want a baby that is alive and well, but if I can possibly have a good birth experience and a baby that is alive and well, I want that (of course). But at the moment I just don't know what way to turn. I am hoping beyond hope that Squidge will take all decision making out of my hands and make his way into the world by himself early. :( I hope things will become clearer to me over the next few days, as I kind of have to make a decision by this time next week, before they possibly book an induction for me.
The only silver lining is that due to my blood test to show my sugar levels over the last month coming back at 5.4% (target 6 or under), they are happy for me to self-test and administer during labour unless my levels go over 8.0mmol.
Before I talk about my consultant appointment this afternoon, I wanted to write down (for remembering sake) about the dream I had last night, or should I say nightmare... I never had a dream like this with Robert, which were all about the birth, or scans, or (ahem) kinky ones... but this one I had last night was horrendous. I woke up basically on the verge of tears after I dreamed very vividly a tiger chasing and then catching, and.. well, to put it less graphically than I saw it in my dream.. eating Robert. I felt such an intense feeling of anguish and helplessness in the dream the second before I woke up, that it was all I could do not to rush into Robert's room, scoop him up out of his cot, and hold onto him for dear life. When I told Jonathan I dreamt that a tiger ate Robert, I don't think he realised just how vivid the dream was for me as he made a joke about it, when actually I was pretty distressed about it. I've heard people saying how vivid dreams can be during pregnancy but I've never experienced anything quite like that before :( I really hope that's the only vivid nightmare I have to endure...
Anyway.. consultant appointment. BP and wee fine. Baby's 4/5 palpable (or at least that's what I think the notes say, the consultant's handwriting is very difficult to read), and did a lovely few wriggles during heartbeat monitoring.
Then came the rest of it. She said to me about induction, I reiterated that if I was favourable when checked I'd agree to induction at 38 weeks. Then she answered some questions, which has left me extremely nervous (at best) about the induction. I think a closer description would be terrified.
If I'm not favourable next week (at either 35+6 or 36 weeks) then I will be left til 39+6 weeks. If I've not already had the baby by then I will most likely be booked in for an induction for the next few days then, although goodness knows if I will be able to fight it, or if I will even want to, or whether I feel like I will have to.
I do kind of feel like I am in a state of limbo at the moment, not given all the facts, or given all of one side and not of the other.. I feel a little pulled in both directions right now. The first is my overwhelming thought that I do NOT want to be induced... the second that if I am not induced I will be increasing the risk to the baby's welfare. I am absolutely terrified of another bad birth experience, I really am. Obviously I want a baby that is alive and well, but if I can possibly have a good birth experience and a baby that is alive and well, I want that (of course). But at the moment I just don't know what way to turn. I am hoping beyond hope that Squidge will take all decision making out of my hands and make his way into the world by himself early. :( I hope things will become clearer to me over the next few days, as I kind of have to make a decision by this time next week, before they possibly book an induction for me.
The only silver lining is that due to my blood test to show my sugar levels over the last month coming back at 5.4% (target 6 or under), they are happy for me to self-test and administer during labour unless my levels go over 8.0mmol.
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
34 weeks 5 days - sweet morning kisses
This entry is for the memory banks, because it is something that I don't wish to be lost in time. Every morning, Jonathan goes and gets Robert when he wakes, and brings him into bed with us.
Robert loves his morning milky, and immediately he's placed on the bed, he scoots up the bed to me, pulls the covers down, and settles himself in between us, snuggled closely into my body, his little hand resting on me and his head gently on my arm. He nurses for a long time in the mornings. And carries on coming on and off for the hour (!) we usually spend upstairs waking up together.
This morning, he snuggled up to me as usual, and after 10-15 minutes, hearing Daddy start to snore again lightly, he lifted his head up, said "Dada?" and when Jonathan replied, he lifted himself up, moved over to Jonathan, said "Dada" again, and kissed him :) Then he looked at me, said "Mama", kissed me, and settled back down for more milky.
It was such a precious moment, one that I will treasure forever. I love our morning ritual, our cuddles all three of us in bed, the soft tender look in his face as he nurses. He is so relaxed and happy in bed with us in the morning, and I love our gentle and loving start to the day. I love that he so obviously loves us, and enjoys his closeness with us.
He is such a loving, affectionate boy, but also playful, cheeky, and so so independant and curious! He loves new games, and finds great hilarity in some of them, his face lights up as he beams, laughs loudly, and does it again :)
His grandad (Jonathan's dad) often teaches him new games, and his new one is seeing a closed fist, he will blow on it, and expects the hand (or just the thumb) to pop out or open. :) He finds it absolutely hilarious when it does and blows on our hands in quick succession to make it happen again! He also is fascinated by "magic" tricks. Obviously very simple tricks, such as passing objects from one hand to the other, or hiding an object somewhere without him seeing it, the look of surprise on his face when it's not where he expects it to be is so funny, as is the look of absolute glee when he does find it! Sometimes he's not so easily fooled, and knows where it's gone, in which occasions, his laugh of glee is that much louder. :)
Robert, while he is such a placid boy, he is getting his tantrummy moments, although they're never *very* bad. I've yet to see him throw himself down on the floor and pound it with his fists or the like. He's also discovered "no", and uses it very often during the day whenever he's asked to do something he doesn't want to do!
He's also got a very strong liking for "eeeee-ee" now, and goes up to the bookshelf, picks up the TV remote and looks at me saying "eeee-ee" whenever he wants it on. He wants it on a lot. I try to keep it turned off in the morning for several hours, but I must admit I do find it a useful tool if I need to get any jobs done, he is usually happy intermittantly watching TV and playing with his toys, although occasionally I will hear a loud "MAMA??" as he wonders where I am! He seems to love "Show me show me" on Cbeebies with Chris and Poi, and he likes "Our Planet" as he's very into animals and will often make the sounds of the animals as they come up on the screen or say their names. He finds Waybaloo hilarious now, and often yells "GOGO!" when the chimes start playing, signalling the start of "yogo", and bursts into fits of laughter when the Piplings float about in the opening and closing credits :) It's nice when we go to groups, or have the in-laws around, because those days his TV watching is much more limited. It seems easier to keep Robert entertained with different people around him, or in a different setting, and he never misses "eeee-ee" in these situations.
I do find it absolutely astonishing and amazing what a little boy he has become, he is definitely no longer a baby, and hasn't been for a long time now, but rather a very independant-minded cheeky funloving boy who still cherishes his snuggle times with Mama :) I find myself cherishing every snuggle, like I just want to stay in that moment forever. Drinking in every grin, and holding on to every word and precious sound I know he uses to mean something specific. I adore the night time cuddles he gives us before he goes to bed, where he lays his head down on our chest, and his sweet kisses which are still open mouthed but getting less so as time goes on. I will miss his sweet open mouthed kisses when they go! I am clinging onto every single piece of "babyhood" that Robert has left, because before long they will all disappear! But I'm sure I shall enjoy his new "big boy" stage just as much, and his little brother or sister will be around to pick up the "babyhood" when he lets it go!
Robert loves his morning milky, and immediately he's placed on the bed, he scoots up the bed to me, pulls the covers down, and settles himself in between us, snuggled closely into my body, his little hand resting on me and his head gently on my arm. He nurses for a long time in the mornings. And carries on coming on and off for the hour (!) we usually spend upstairs waking up together.
This morning, he snuggled up to me as usual, and after 10-15 minutes, hearing Daddy start to snore again lightly, he lifted his head up, said "Dada?" and when Jonathan replied, he lifted himself up, moved over to Jonathan, said "Dada" again, and kissed him :) Then he looked at me, said "Mama", kissed me, and settled back down for more milky.
It was such a precious moment, one that I will treasure forever. I love our morning ritual, our cuddles all three of us in bed, the soft tender look in his face as he nurses. He is so relaxed and happy in bed with us in the morning, and I love our gentle and loving start to the day. I love that he so obviously loves us, and enjoys his closeness with us.
He is such a loving, affectionate boy, but also playful, cheeky, and so so independant and curious! He loves new games, and finds great hilarity in some of them, his face lights up as he beams, laughs loudly, and does it again :)
His grandad (Jonathan's dad) often teaches him new games, and his new one is seeing a closed fist, he will blow on it, and expects the hand (or just the thumb) to pop out or open. :) He finds it absolutely hilarious when it does and blows on our hands in quick succession to make it happen again! He also is fascinated by "magic" tricks. Obviously very simple tricks, such as passing objects from one hand to the other, or hiding an object somewhere without him seeing it, the look of surprise on his face when it's not where he expects it to be is so funny, as is the look of absolute glee when he does find it! Sometimes he's not so easily fooled, and knows where it's gone, in which occasions, his laugh of glee is that much louder. :)
Robert, while he is such a placid boy, he is getting his tantrummy moments, although they're never *very* bad. I've yet to see him throw himself down on the floor and pound it with his fists or the like. He's also discovered "no", and uses it very often during the day whenever he's asked to do something he doesn't want to do!
He's also got a very strong liking for "eeeee-ee" now, and goes up to the bookshelf, picks up the TV remote and looks at me saying "eeee-ee" whenever he wants it on. He wants it on a lot. I try to keep it turned off in the morning for several hours, but I must admit I do find it a useful tool if I need to get any jobs done, he is usually happy intermittantly watching TV and playing with his toys, although occasionally I will hear a loud "MAMA??" as he wonders where I am! He seems to love "Show me show me" on Cbeebies with Chris and Poi, and he likes "Our Planet" as he's very into animals and will often make the sounds of the animals as they come up on the screen or say their names. He finds Waybaloo hilarious now, and often yells "GOGO!" when the chimes start playing, signalling the start of "yogo", and bursts into fits of laughter when the Piplings float about in the opening and closing credits :) It's nice when we go to groups, or have the in-laws around, because those days his TV watching is much more limited. It seems easier to keep Robert entertained with different people around him, or in a different setting, and he never misses "eeee-ee" in these situations.
I do find it absolutely astonishing and amazing what a little boy he has become, he is definitely no longer a baby, and hasn't been for a long time now, but rather a very independant-minded cheeky funloving boy who still cherishes his snuggle times with Mama :) I find myself cherishing every snuggle, like I just want to stay in that moment forever. Drinking in every grin, and holding on to every word and precious sound I know he uses to mean something specific. I adore the night time cuddles he gives us before he goes to bed, where he lays his head down on our chest, and his sweet kisses which are still open mouthed but getting less so as time goes on. I will miss his sweet open mouthed kisses when they go! I am clinging onto every single piece of "babyhood" that Robert has left, because before long they will all disappear! But I'm sure I shall enjoy his new "big boy" stage just as much, and his little brother or sister will be around to pick up the "babyhood" when he lets it go!
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