New beginnings

As most of you will know, Robert is starting nursery tomorrow morning. I'm not sure what this is to Americans.. Pre-kindergarten? He's going for the morning sessions of 9.05am til 11.35am. I've been labelling clothes, packing his little rucksack, and mentally preparing him for his first morning away from family.

Mentioning throughout the day about him starting tomorrow, reminding him about the toys and activities and equipment they have there. Telling him he'll see the teachers who came to see him at our house a few weeks ago. When my dad called, he wanted to talk to Robert too, who very quietly answered all the questions his Grandad asked, and promised to remember everything he did at nursery so he could tell Grandad this weekend during his visit.

Later, in the bath, I started talking about it again, and told him what he should expect to happen tomorrow. I made sure to prepare him for the fact that he would be playing there without me, that I would be leaving. In the next sentence I told him that I would come back and pick him up for lunch. After a little while, when this information had sunk in, his bottom lip trembled a little, and fear flashed across his face. "I don't want you to leave, Mummy. I want you to play with me at nursery."

I looked at him with what I hoped was a comforting smile, although on the inside I felt myself weep at his vulnerability. "I know, sweetie. But you will have lots of new friends to make, lots of other boys and girls, and the teachers who will play with you. And I'll be back after a little while to come take you home for lunch." Robert's face seemed a little brighter, and I decided to sweeten the deal.

"Hey," I said, grinning at him. "How about, as a special treat for when you finish your first morning at nursery, you get to choose what to have for lunch tomorrow?"

He looked up at me, grinned and said "I know, I want chocolate buttons... In my sandwich!". My mental self looked aghast at the idea of a chocolate button sandwich, but figured if he didn't like it he could pick the buttons out separately, so smiled and told him that of course he could have a chocolate button sandwich, and while he was playing at nursery, I would go and get some from the shops.

Tonight, I am hoping beyond hope that he is happy tomorrow, that he has fun, and doesn't miss me *too* much. But I'm not going to lie: if he comes out, flings himself into my arms with a big grin on his face, and tells me he missed me, part of me is going to like that. As long as he has fun!