Hmm.... more odd odd oddness

I wrote an entry last night but it was completely unrelated to TTC and just about my little big boy :)

But I am compelled to write again. Last night I went to the toilet, and got the same weird bleeding I got 2 weeks ago. I had a wee, wiped and nothing, wiped again, and out of nowhere, blood! I got that sinking feeling and thought "oh no...", put on a panty liner, and carried on doing what I was doing. Went to the toilet again later, and I just had some red stained CM. This morning, I had BROWN stained CM. Panty liner clean. So I am thinking that this is either pre-period spotting, or something... lets say.. much more hopeful. I am going to try (really REALLY going to try) to hold out til Friday morning. Wait and see if Aunt Flo arrives properly, if that bleed was pre-period spotting. And maybe do a test Friday morning if she's not here by then.

Been getting crampy feelings down there again too.

I can't believe how hard it is to not get your hopes up. After the presumed ovulation bleeding 2 weeks at least before my period was due, that gave me lots of hope then.. but tried to keep it from my mind. It's been so hard to not think I stand a higher chance of getting pregnant this month, and my mind strays to an October 7th due date baby. I am just hoping that last night's bleed stays as it is... brown CM. and then goes away! I so want this baby. If there IS a baby in there!! It's so hard to think "nah, it's just xyz"

Keep your fingers crossed for me please girls!