4 +4 - crossing fingers.

My friend has her scan today - in fact she should be in there now. I am keeping everything crossed for her but she says she thinks there'll be nothing left in there. Miscarriage is so cruel, especially for those women who have been trying to get pregnant and want the baby so much. It seems little comfort to tell them that the baby was probably never viable, I know it wouldn't bring ME any comfort if I was in their position. My heart breaks for them. :(

I am so early on, it could happen to me too. When you hear stories of babies being born sleeping at 19 weeks, 23 weeks, or in one case I heard, full term... it's so so sad, and scary, but the most you can do is just to have faith. The first trimester is so difficult. You have no way of knowing if all is okay or not.

When I was pregnant with Robert I remember spotting once - just a tiny amount of brown blood. With this one I have spotted 2 or 3 times since I found out I was pregnant. Red blood. But it's been a small amount and then leads onto stained CM, and then clears up. So I am keeping hope that all is okay, and it's just implantation bleeding each time.

So far I'm just still uber-tired, peeing for Britain, and I have the occasional bloated feeling. No sore boobs yet. I'm still producing milk that I can tell - for the first time in ages Robert fell asleep at the breast and when I moved away there was a dribble of milk coming out of his mouth. Oh how I remember that when he was little! And how quickly did it disappear as my baby boy grew up! Gone are the gummy grins, the headbutting shoulders to show he's hungry, the floppiness and helplessness, and here I have a quickly emerging independant young boy, who knows what he wants, loves to flash us grins to get it, and gives kisses when it pleases him to give them! A boy who is shown how something works, and that's it, he can do it himself!

He loves helping, will put his books away now almost by habit (although sometimes he forgets and they are left on the floor), will put things in the bin, or washing basket, and even help hang the washing up!











He has discovered the joys of boxes, or other small containers!





That last one makes me laugh every time I see it! I don't know why but it does, it's just so cute!

I can't believe how tall he is getting! Although every time I try and measure him his actual measurements never seem that big, if you know what I mean? I think he was only about 78cm or so last time I tried to measure him, but I guess I must have done it wrong? He was 77.5cm when he was measured at his year checkup! He must be taller than 80cm by now I'm sure, I wouldn't be surprised if he reaches 3 foot by the time he's 2. It probably won't be long before he's the same height as his cousin who's a year older than him! ;)



He is also walking so sturdily! But then he has been walking for about 5 months now so he should be well practised! But unless he is excited, he rarely trips anymore, or stumbles. And his spacial awareness is improving all the time, lifting his legs to avoid things on the floor, ducking his head to go under things.

And I don't know why, but this picture makes me go all melty... it's what I see every day in the evening before his bathtime. So so lovely!



This has been a somewhat mixed entry, I guess I got a whole load of feelings swooshing about in there right now. Oh and I had a dream I was having twins... :o Doubt it though, my HcG levels haven't been high enough for that lol!

Edit: Thank GOD her baby's okay... she's still worried as she's bleeding, but baby's heartbeat is there so fingers crossed her bleeding stops soon...