Nearly 1 year post-partum

As Christopher is nearing his first birthday (can you believe it? I can't!) I can't help but draw parallels between where I was then, and where I am now. Last year, I was heavily pregnant, weighed probably almost 16 stone (although I am not 100% sure), I was extremely apprehensive regarding the induction of birth I had agreed to let myself be booked into, but excited about meeting my new little one.

Now I am 4 stone down on my 4 day PP weight, weighing 10 stone 11lb, or there abouts. I feel more energetic, healthier and fitter than I have been for a decade. I still have a long way to go in terms of fitness, but now I am in a place where I am actively seeking to become fitter. I am going to start running, which I think will aid not only my physical fitness, but also my emotional well being.

I have also been learning to drive, and while I don't anticipate to have passed my test by Christopher's birthday (seeing as I've not even taken my theory test yet, which must be passed prior to booking the practical), I do anticipate that I will be a fully fledged driver before Christmas.

I also have one fewer friend than I did last year, and it still hurts, I still haven't replaced her with a friend of equal status, and that hurts too. Sometimes more than I can say.

I am also really looking forward to giving birth to my as yet unconceived third child. Sounds really strange, but I am! My second birth was amazing for the most part, and that, along with my new level of fitness (only to improve as I start a running programme imminently) has given me the confidence in my body that I can sustain a healthy pregnancy and birth a child with love, confidence, and ease. I am already planning a home birth in my mind! But do still want to wait several more months before we conceive. I still have not had my first PP period, so I'm probably ready to conceive again anyway. I feel that my next pregnancy will be the most planned in terms of me getting physically ready to carry and birth a baby than either of my last two.

Future health

Occasionally, my mind does wander into the not-so-distant (hopefully) future, when I will be trying for, and then pregnant with my third baby. I wonder how my pregnancy will fare - will I get diabetes again? How will the birth go? Will I be low risk? And if I am, will I choose a home birth again?

I am more aware than ever that my eating habits are slowly improving, I still struggle occasionally, and mostly with treats, I binge on them rather than spreading them out and making them last. But my meals are more healthy, I make a lot more food from whole ingredients, and very few things from heavily processed ready meals. I think the closest I get to those are the sauce jars, perhaps tins of baked beans, and other things like that. A new favourite of mine, and healthier alternative, is mashed cauliflower. It is a delicious alternative to potato, and I am quickly preferring it. I hope that there are lots more things that will gradually seep in and that as well as losing the final third of the weight I would like to lose, I will also become a healthier person. That any future pregnancies will be healthy ones, and that I pass down healthy habits to my children.

I hope I can make this vessel of life the most healthy it can possibly be, both for my future and that of my children. To think I am now the weight I was when I was around the age of 20, that over the last seven or eight years my weight crept up and down and up again to probably almost 17 stone at the height of pregnancy with Robert, and that in the last eight months I have lost almost 3 and a half stone, with maybe a couple of stone lost with the birth of Robert and between pregnancies, I should not scoff at the changes I have already made. My weight loss could have been greater, had I not had sticking points, but in a way I am glad that I've had them, as I think they have taught me as much or maybe more than managing to lose the weight I have done. It has shown me that I can maintain a weight by watching what I eat and allowing a few treats, and maybe going a bit OTT on occasion, but not as a matter of course. It has shown me how important it is to carry on eating healthily. It has shown me that I don't have to give up if things get slow, that I can just keep treading water and eventually I will get back the insentive and courage to carry on losing weight, without shooting back up the scales and un-doing all the work I've put in.

This weight loss journey might be as long as some people's, but it is still a fair amount, and one that I think will take me a year in total to complete, I think that to have stuck to something for this length of time is something I couldn't do several years ago. Becoming a mother has prepared me in some respect, patience is needed for both. Becoming a mother has spurred me into doing this, I want to be healthy for my children. I hope I can continue and that it will help me and my children to be healthy for the rest of our lives.