Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts

Thursday, 28 August 2008

27 weeks 5 days - loves!

I wish I could capture the essence of exactly how it feels when Robert kicks and squirms inside me. Because it's the most magical and amazing feeling I've ever felt. It's the sort of feeling I just want to talk and talk and talk about - to try and describe to anyone who's never felt it before. But somehow whenever I try and think about it, to put it into words, I can't. I mean, well, some of the feelings I feel can be described, but the feelings of your baby moving and squirming and kicking inside you are so varied and different.

There's one that sort of feels like when you go over a bump in a car, that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're momentarily airborne. But then how to describe the kicks? How to describe the feeling you get when your little one squirms right against your belly like they feel so close you could reach down and touch them? And how that's different to when they're squirming or changing position in general. I just love them all!

I am finding myself rushing to the bedroom whenever I feel Robbie squirming in there, and hoping that my moving hasn't lulled him to sleep, so I can continue to watch him! I love the way my entire belly wobbles around when he squirms and wriggles in there. And then blips out with a kick.

I love knowing that he's getting stronger in there, and getting bigger, just from the way his movements feel to me. I love the way I know from day to day that he's okay, that I don't have to worry, that I can enjoy him being in me and growing.

I love the fact that although there are so many things I can't do now, I don't really CARE! Because I love being pregnant and I wouldn't change it for the world! And I love the fact that there's still so much for me to experience! I love looking at my belly in the mirror, in fact, I'm really beginning to love my entire pregnant body! Even with the purple stretchmarks on the sides of my bump/hips. I feel that my belly has all of a sudden grown a lot more, and with it, my self-esteem. I feel so beautiful when I look at myself naked. I love the way my bump looks, I love the way my boobs look(!), and despite the odd aches and pains and heartburn (which comes more frequently now, and sometimes even during the day), I feel amazing.

I love the fact that my husband and I are doing hypnobirthing. I love the fact that I find my husband's voice soothing. I love that he can get me into a state of such dreamy relaxation that I don't want to come out of it! I love that it makes us feel stronger as a couple, and that he will be so important on Robert's birth day. I love it when I see that look of joy and awe in his eyes when he gets to feel Robert kick or squirm, and wish that he could feel it more often.

There is probably a lot more, but I love it that just off the top of my head I have found so many things I love about being pregnant.

I hope this hasn't made too many of you hormonal and weepy! Or perhaps I do hope that, hehe. :) Hope you're all well, and thanks for reading.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

26 weeks 5 days - sorry for the long gap

Ooops! Realised I haven't updated in almost a week because Becca commented to see if I'm ok. Sorry! :) I'm fine, Robert's fine, just nothing really to update about much except that I'm almost 27 weeks pregnant! And that I'm really beginning to feel like I have half a football stuck to the front of my belly. Robert's kicks and squirms are becoming much bigger, and even now kicks that feel "small" can be felt by hand.

He certainly does seem to react to the relaxation music we got given from Hypnobirthing - I laid down to have a small nap on the sofa last night, and Jonathan went upstairs and put on the music so it came through the living room speakers. Got given a few kicks and squirms throughout, but then, when the bit where a woman speaks over the music with relaxing words, oh my gosh! He just literally started kicking, squirming and punching away in there like mad! It really does make me wonder when a baby reacts like that to music/sound whether they LIKE it, or whether they really hate it! Maybe it might be because I start relaxing more when I listen to it, and because my body is more relaxed, there's more room for him to move, so he does. I don't know really, it is so odd. Does he like it? Or does he want me to turn it off?

I am quite looking forward to taking my 28 week belly picture. I think I must have grown a lot since 24 weeks. I FEEL massive! And sometimes, it's quite freaky, Robert gets into a position inside me that makes my belly HUGE, and rock solid. Like - no give to it at all. Usually I can poke my belly and it'll "squidge" in a little bit (or a lot!), but then when it goes solid, I can poke and it'll maybe give like half a centimeter, if that. (Can usually poke it inward at least an inch)

My belly button is becoming less indented too. I find it fascinating to put my finger in and see how far it goes in, compared to how far I used to ;) Also, holding my tummy, and moving it up and down while looking at my belly button. I am looking MUCH more pregnant now. Finally!

We've been doing a lot of work on the old flat, and last weekend we got Jonathan's parents to come and help (they offered!). So Jonathan, Betsy and I were in the living room painting, cutting in, etc, and Steve was in the bedroom glossing. Anyway, by the end of Saturday we managed to FINISH the wall painting in the living room! (We only managed to get the bedroom done over 3 days I think between us two) And Steve had glossed the picture rail, the door, doorframes, and two walls' skirting boards.

Then, Jonathan had a call from them on the Sunday night I think it was, and they said they'd go there midweek if he dropped a key in to them, so they'd fix the wardrobe doors, and maybe do more glossing. Then, on Tuesday night they said they'd fixed the doors, done ALL the glossing in the bedroom, ALL the glossing in the living room, AND Betsy had cleaned in the bathroom (our old toilet was disgusting - I tried god knows how many times to clean it but couldn't!) and in the kitchen! Which means that all we may have left to do is painting the bathroom ceiling (there's a nice orange patch on there around the lightbulb from when the previous owners took down their ball lamp and replaced it with an ordinary lamp and didn't bother to patch it up), and then replacing the hall carpet with something more inkeeping with the new decoration (and less filthy), and then giving the whole place a thorough clean and getting rid of crappy old bits of furniture.

Can't wait to go back and see how it looks with all the work they did for us on Tuesday. :) Gotta love having retired in-laws ;) They really are great, and have done so much for us over the years.

Right, well tonight is our fourth Hypnobirthing class, then tomorrow we have follow-up jabs for the cat, then on Saturday we're heading down to Kent as it's my dad's birthday. We're going to make sure we see Mum for a good few hours on Sunday, because we just cannot go down without seeing her, especially as she is feeling so left out these days anyway.

Part of me is wondering whether I should suggest we stay over at some point so she feels better. But I know the problem is deep-rooted, and I have a feeling that either Stephen or myself will have to talk to her or each other or all together about it, because I think there is a reason why Stephen and Nicky don't want to stay overnight at Mum's anymore, and I don't think it's only the reason they've been telling her. And when I think about when Robert is here, and especially when he's at the crawling/hoisting himself up stage I think I probably wouldn't want to stay at Mum's for a huge length of time either. Partly because there is only ONE room that a baby could stay in, partly because it's cluttered, partly because there are two fairly boistrous dogs (although getting better - they've been going to a dog trainer), partly because the house always looks so dirty... I don't know if Stephen and Nicky knows how Mum feels, and I don't know exactly what they've told her, but from what Mum has said to ME, I think they've told her they are staying at Dad's because there's more room there. (Which is true!) But I think what they AREN'T telling her are the other things as well. But Mum is under the impression that her house IS big enough, and she is feeling hurt that her house is no longer good enough for either of us to stay in. (She said "So what if the buggy fills the dining room?")

I've told her that the reason why we don't stay at hers at the moment is because I am needing more and more bathroom trips in the middle of the night, and since her bathroom is somewhat of a trek from the bedrooms compared to at Dad's, that's why we stay at Dad's now. Which is one of the reasons, but also, the dogs (I don't really like the dogs a huge amount, although they're getting better with their barking and jumping up), and also the smells in the house. Although the smell that jumped out at you in the bathroom (a damp, musty smell) wasn't there last time, probably because they've now been leaving the bathroom door open.

So it seems at some point Mum might be having some serious conversations that no-one really feels comfortable with :( Also, I think I'm going to have to talk to her about another thing. And I know it's stupid, and I know she's just trying to be jokey and affectionate with it, but she's now taken to calling me "Tubs". And I really don't like it, because I am overweight. I know she is only calling me it because I'm pregnant, but still, I'm NOT really comfortable with my weight. It's NOT overly obvious that I'm pregnant, so calling me Tubs is like calling me Fatty. Ah well. Anyway, I'll leave this entry for now. Sorry for leaving it on a down note, but I can't be bothered to rearrange the entry now.

Can't believe I'm almost 27 weeks. Where has the time gone??

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

19 weeks 3 days - soo hungry! Sausage must be having a growth spurt

Woohooo! It's July! One of my favourite months of the year, and especially this year. It's just over 2 weeks until the scan now, and I'm so excited about it! And it's much nicer now in the run up because I was worrying like mad before the 12 week scan, and now, if I get worried all I need to do is wait for Sausage to move around in there and I know all is okay. S/he has been squirming a lot in there today. I feel like my belly is going through a bit of a growth phase, I have become a lot more aware of it, and I'm nearly at the stage where I can't lie down on my belly anymore. I suppose that's one good thing about being fat! I have been able to lie down on my front with little to no discomfort, and it's only just now getting to the stage where if I want to I have to be really careful when lying down. Jonathan doesn't like it when I do lie on my front. He also doesn't like it when I poke my belly (usually to find the top of my uterus, which I think is right at my belly button now, or a tiny bit below).

I can't believe that in 4 days I will be TWENTY weeks pregnant. Half way! I just can't believe how quick it's gone these past few weeks. Over the last few days, I've been feeling so incredibly hungry practically all the time. I had a fairly late breakfast, around 11am, where I had FOUR slices of toast. I'm already starving again! This baby really must be packing on the ounces (hehe) right now, if my hunger is anything to go by. I think for lunch I'll make myself a huge salad, and a jacket potato with cheese and perhaps some beans to go with it. I'm ashamed to say that I've been eating a lot of junk just recently, lots of ice cream and ice lollies (I must say those are my top vices! hehe. I absolutely ADORE ice cream.). I am also quite a crisp junkie too, I can't just have ONE bag of crisps in one sitting, let alone in a day. So J and I have not bought any in the last few weeks. Chocolate too! Oh my gosh, I got the most strange urge yesterday to make a chocolate cake. I've never made a cake in my life. Hmm actually that was a lie, I made silly little victoria sponges for school, and little muffin things. But at home, on my own, I've never made one. Never made a chocolate cake either. But I realllllly want to make one! Only problem is, I don't have a cake tin! Hehe! Might have to go shopping in Woolies, or Wilkinsons, and buy some cheapo kitchen stuff we really should have had by now ;)

Anyway, I'll try and make sure this week to get a full length shot of the belly as well as the normal one in my wardrobe mirror!

Hope you're all well! xx