Monday, 4 October 2010

9 days old! Photos!

Well my little Squidge, Christopher, is now 9 days old! I can hardly believe that it's been so long since he rocketted into the world and into our lives well and truly :)

He is such a delightful, calm baby, full of lots of lovely expressions.







I could just cuddle him for hours if there wasn't the need to get things done, or sleep! He has yet to cry for anything other than a nappy change! When I think back to Robert as a newborn, I'm SURE he used to cry a whole lot more! Part of me is wondering whether it's our attentiveness and the fact that we are so much more experienced as parents this time round? But either way he is very calm, and he will sleep in his cot with no problems, or in his bouncer, meaning that we can spend a lot of time playing with Robert and I think this is helping him to adjust to having a new tiny baby brother!

Christopher and I had been home only a few hours, when Robert decided he wanted to join Christopher in having some Mummy Milk. :) I am so happy that Jonathan took some photos of my first time tandem feeding my two boys!





It has certainly eased jealousy and I am more than happy to allow Robert to join his brother if he asks. Now, Robert will sometimes reach over and hold Christopher's hand while they both nurse :) It's so sweet! So sweet, I just embarrassingly had a strong let down thinking about it and leaked all over my top!









He really is a sweet big brother :)

Anyway, tonight we have put a duvet and pillow on Robert's cot for the first time, and he's already once climbed out and started crying, so I put him back in, tucked him in and sang him more songs... he seems to find it quite cozy but it is so different to him as he's not slept under a cover since he was about a few months old (since we discovered baby sleeping bags!), and he sleeps on his front, with just his jammies on. So hoping that he will get on well with it! Fingers crossed!

Thursday, 30 September 2010

5 days old

I would have been 39 weeks pregnant today, but instead I have had my little Christopher here for 5 whole days :) We are slowly settling into a routine, getting our tactics sorted out for how to get a semi decent night's sleep. Robert if I remember rightly slept 5 hours at a time from when we got him home, but then he was 6 days old by the time we got him home so maybe.. just maybe! Hehe! Christopher last night slept for about 3 hours between feeds, which was better than the last two nights so fingers crossed for something similar tonight. I was awake though from 3am at least last night though with painfully engorged breasts, and so in the end I decided to get up, and hand express some. I again got 2oz, but from just the one breast that time and although it was still quite engorged I was at least able to get some sleep.

I have been using Robert as a pump when he's been awake and willing. He sometimes refuses if I offer, if the other thing on offer seems better at the time ;) This morning he nursed for a long time, emptying one breast and having a good go at the other, before Christopher woke up. He also nursed alongside Christopher during the day once, and another time when I was simply holding his baby brother he came and asked for milky. Then again this evening he nursed from both breasts so hopefully engorgement won't be as bad tonight. The first tandem feed showed that Robert was quite possessive over my breasts, he tried to pull Christopher off by his legs! But now he simply looks over from time to time, with interest, or indifference. He occasionally reaches over and holds Christopher's hand while nursing as well which is sweet :)

He seems to find Christopher very fascinating right now, and loves to sit and watch him, and although we've now told him not to touch Christopher's face, he does still now try and put his whole hand covering Christopher's face (which is slightly better than poking his eyes out I suppose, he doesn't cover it in a manner that would suffocate him). When I feed Robert on our bed with Christopher in the cot, if Christopher makes a noise, Robert will look up and smile as he watches his baby brother for a while before continuing to nurse :)

Sometimes I do see Robert in Christopher, but other times he looks completely different! I think because Christopher is sooo much smaller than Robert was at birth it is hard to see similarities, because Christopher's face is more wrinkled up.

Christopher was weighed today when the midwife came over. He has lost 7% of his birth weight which is in the acceptable limits, so now weighs a diddy 6lb 15oz. I never had a weighing with Robert at this stage, but he was weighed at 2 weeks and he was back to his birth weight exactly then. I do hope that Christopher gains back to his birth weight well by the time he's two weeks old. I guess over the next week he will be getting a fair amount of mature milk and will hopefully be less sleepy and will feed longer.

I'm starting to get some after pains now, I thought I'd skipped them as I didn't get anything really before today. That combined with I guess the drop of hormones and general "after birth" body changes has given me slight uneasy feelings, which I'm confident will pass although having remembered them with Robert it does worry me a little but I know I will be able to keep an eye on my feelings and Jonathan will be as well. The fact that I have had a much better birth experience and been able to bond straight away with Christopher, and the fact that it all isn't quite so "new" is comforting to me, and knowing that all I really have to do is take things one step at a time and everything will be ok. Those feelings did pass with Robert, and they will pass if I get them to any stage with Christopher as well.

Something which I will be starting off at is beginning to lose this weight. I might have mentioned before but I want to get down to 12 stone by this time next year, which only means me losing 39lb (I weighed in at 14 stone 11lb yesterday which I am pleased at, less than 3 stone to lose this year!) and will put me at a BMI at just into overweight rather than obese. Of course I might even lose more and be into the healthy range, but 12 stone is a goal I am happy with for now. My appetite isn't very big right now, normal sized meals leave me feeling bloated, so I might well not even be trying to lose weight properly and still managing to!

I am still nervous about my blood sugar, and whether or not my diabetes will stick around. Apparently it can take a few weeks for levels to get back to normal. This morning porridge left me with a reading of 7 which is good for diabetes but I can't remember what porridge used to do to my levels in pregnancy as I never had it very often. I'll be having another GTT in about 5 weeks time to find out if I do still have it, and I really hope I don't, obviously. Anyway will go for now, I'd quite like to sit down and relax with a nice cuppa before I think about waking up the little man. :)

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

3 days old

Ahhh, well Christopher is 3 days old (well almost, half an hour or so til he is properly!). Tonight will be our second night at home and we are still trying to settle down and into a proper routine (well, as much as having a newborn around can have a routine!).

I had my first home visit from the midwife today, not my antenatal one unfortunately, but maybe I'll get to see Beverley later this week. She did of course turn up during Robert's nap (and also at a time we managed to get Christopher asleep in his cot!) grrr. She's happy enough with everything, except the fact that Christopher hadn't pooed since Monday morning (he has since done one - hurrah!) and she said if he hadn't done one by 9am tomorrow to phone up the community midwives office to arrange an extra home visit, but since he has pooed, all is well, for now :)

My milk has come in last night, it's still the "changing" milk so there isn't a HUGE amount of it, but there is enough to make my little man gulp away while feeding, and to produce MASSIVE burps lol! And definitely more of it than there was with Robert. Christopher now feeds for roughly half an hour at a go due to the increase in milk, compared to 1 hour+ (with tickles to keep him awake) while I was in hospital. My breasts have been very engorged today, even after Robert going on one for a long time they still feel hard and sore. So hopefully they'll settle down soon, but I did express some milk earlier in the evening, and I got about 2oz, just under, which I think is pretty good going for 3 days post partum!

Christopher has just woken, and Jonathan's changing his nappy. Poor little soul does NOT enjoy nappy changes, and SCREAMS until his little legs have been tucked away again into his babygrow :) He did another poo so yay for that :)

Anyway, gotta go! We're hoping we have a better night than last night - little man wouldn't bring up his wind properly and would only sleep well on his side, and even then that was for barely 15 minutes! In the end we brought him into bed with us as that was the only way he ended up sleeping for longer than half an hour, and even then I kept waking up with a dead arm. He's slept much better in his cot today, so fingers crossed it will be a bit better!

Monday, 27 September 2010

Squidge(aka Christopher!!)'s Birth Story

On Saturday morning, the 25th, we headed into hospital having left Robert with Jonathan's parents. When we got there, we were taken up into the antenatal ward where other women were waiting to be induced. We were told that due to the delivery suite being busy, all the inductions were being postponed, but in the meantime, before I could be induced, they needed to monitor the baby's heartbeat and uterine activity, so they would know how Squidge was fairing with contractions (not that I got any then, but I suppose as a base level to compare the figures to during labour). So from 8.30am, until 9.30am I was hooked up to this, then at 9.30 when the midwife was happy with the reading, she put the prostin in, and monitored me for another hour on the machine.

At 10.30am she let me off it finally, and encouraged me to move around and keep active, so Jonathan and I went for a walk around the hospital, through the basement corridors, up and down stairs, into the main hospital to "explore" as it was cold outside, and pretty much the entire time I had a long continuous braxton hicks contraction. After about 20-30 minutes we went back to the ward as I was getting a bit tired, and I had a bounce on the birthing ball we'd taken up with us. The girl across the bed from me was very friendly, so we chatted, she was being induced that evening I believe but she had already been in a few days.

After a little while, Jonathan left to go back and see Robert, as nothing was really happening, and there was probably about 45 minutes or so between Jonathan leaving and my Mum showing up. We chatted for a while, she knitted and I bounced. Over the next couple of hours, my constant braxton hicks was slowly morphing into regular-ish braxton hicks contractions, some of which I was beginning to need to breathe through. I decided to stop bouncing and to lay down on the bed and see if they continued, and they did. I started timing them, and while they weren't dead on regular or equal duration, they were very close together, within 1.5 and 2.5 minutes between them. After another half an hour of monitoring or so, she came back and told me that she didn't think much was happening (or words to that effect) because they weren't regular in strength or frequency. So she did an internal on me, and found me to be 3-4cm, with my waters bulging. That HURT, she told me was because my cervix was posterior and she had to try and get to it and "walk it forward" a bit. And my cervix was still quite thick. Anyway by this time I had told Jonathan to come back so he and my mum were both there.

Around 4pm I was admitted to the labour ward to room N ("for Norman" lol - "Or Nicola?" I joked). We got settled in and we even got one of the big beanbags through from the day room. I felt a bit bad in a way because it all seemed rather boring, I would bounce on my birth ball, fall silent during contractions, and Mum and Jonathan were just sitting around it seemed. But I guess they did have each other for company.

Around 7pm the midwife (Cathy) told me she'd like to do an examination at 7.30, I can't remember the reason now but I told her I'd rather wait a little longer to see if things progressed on their own. As a compromise we agreed on 8pm, so she left and I settled down on the beanbag to listen to the birthing affirmations. About half an hour later it finished so I got up and got on the birth ball again. After a few minutes I became concerned because I had realised during the affirmations that the contractions weren't as bad but I thought that was because I was relaxed. When they didn't seem more intense again on the birthing ball it struck that something wasn't quite right, especially when I was able to walk to the midwife station without getting a single one. There Cathy suggested I walk around until 8pm to see if they did come on again.

Off we went, and yes they did pick up again but they weren't anywhere near the strength they were before, so just before 8 we got back to the room. This is undoutedly where things got more interesting for my birthing partners!

Jonathan, shortly after we got back, said something he probably regretted several minutes later. "Have you felt Squidge moving lately?" Immediately I started wracking my brains and coming up empty. Enter panic mode! I sat down, started poking my belly, praying that Squidge would move. I managed to move his feet/bum but it didn't prompt him to make his own movements! Worst case senarios immediately started running through my mind. That Squidge had died and that nothing would save him, not emergency c-section, or anything. My mum started to try and comfort me saying that if things were wrong they would get him out quick with c-section and he'd be ok, but I was almost crying and saying "Not if Squidge is already dead!" And she tried to comfort me again saying "Squidge isn't dead, sweetheart" but it didn't comfort me. Jonathan went to get Cathy in asap but she was busy with another woman and I was still panicking.

Eventually she came in and I begged her to check Squidge's heartbeat. It didn't come up straight away and I laid on the bed thinking "please please please", and then she found it, and relief (albeit cautious relief) flooded my body and mind. She then said she'd check my cervix again, and she said "if you're not dilated more than 7 I would like to break your waters, but if you're more than 7 we can leave you, is that ok?" and still shocked and upset from Squidge's lack of movement I agreed straight away, and in a way I was relieved when she said I was still 3-4 cm, and that she'd break my waters. So she did this with her "magic wand" (giving mum and Jonathan a giggle) and oh my god the PAIN. My cervix was still posterior and I was sucking on gas and air for all my worth while she was doing this. She made several surprised sounds, and "oh my gosh it's going everywhere!" and "if your waters had gone in Marks and Spencers you'd have made a fortune!" She was still wriggling something about in there and I didn't know why because I could feel my feet getting wet, and for some reason I took the gas and air out of my mouth and started to cry!

It was probably because of the whole worry over Squidge's movements but as soon as I started to cry, Cathy stopped fiddling around in there and took her hand out, Jonathan rushed over to me and held my hand, and Cathy said it was probably because it brought back memories that I cried, and I thought 'but my waters popped in the birth pool last time' and was quite confused until after I realised she probably meant the worry about the baby.

Anyway Cathy told me the instant my waters were broken I went from 3-4 cm to 5 cm straight away. Shortly after that happened she changed over, she seemed really disappointed she couldn't stay to see the birth as she clocked off at 9pm and introduced me to the other midwife who took over from her. I can't remember her name, but anyway Cathy left, and the other midwife stayed behind.

Very shortly after that happened I was having contractions on the table, during which I groaned/grunted through (unable to focus completely and stay silent like before) and after a few, I got a slight urge to bear down which I told everyone about. I half heartedly did so and then said that I wanted to kneel on the beanbag leaning against the bed (my chosen delivery position). They brought the beanbag over to the bed and put one of those sheet things with the waterproof backing on top and I knelt either side of it while they put other sheets around. I leaned over onto the bed and with the next contraction, bore down as hard as I could, at the same time letting out a very very loud primal-esque groan for the length of the contraction, and I could feel his head coming down very fast, and within what seemed like seconds (although maybe 20-30 of them!) I could feel his head get to the verge of crowning. All the way through I heard the midwife, my mum and Jonathan all calling out various things to me like "oh well done!" "keep going!" "clever girl!" "I'm so proud of you!" Part of me wanted to take a break as that contraction was wearing me out but there was still some behind me so I just went for it, and all of a sudden I was being told to pant out his body! It all slid out just after the contraction finished and a few seconds later I heard what really was a magical sound, of Squidge letting out a cry, and then a little while later, Jonathan saying tearfully "It's a boy!" I remember feeling really surprised, but so emotional and happy, and due to my position while I could twist round and see him a little, I couldn't really move. The midwife called out "Nine oh eight!" which for some reason the first thing that popped into my head was 9lb 8oz lol and thought that was odd how could she have weighed him so soon! But of course she meant the time he was born :)

After the midwife cut the cord (probably the easiest thing to do given my position even though it was in my birth plan not to) I climbed back onto the bed, and was given my baby boy :) We spent the next 3-4 hours or so in that room, first of all being given clotting meds for my bleeding, the placenta coming away easily, and cuddling my baby boy and letting him (for the most part, I moved him slightly closer to the breast so he could see it) move himself and latch on, where he stayed for absolutely ages, then came off, and went on again and during this time mum came over to me and said she'd probably better be heading off soon but wanted to see him weighed and also a cuddle, anyway in the end little man decided to keep mum waiting far too long so she headed off without, under the proviso she could come back the next day and have her cuddle then.

Finally, after my stitches (a whole load for a "superficial" 2nd degree tear from a perfectionist midwife lol) and then later a bath (oh my goodness how heavenly is that first bath after childbirth???!!!), and we were ready to go up to the ward.

There you have it. :) Christopher Jon Hunt's birth story, welcome to the world little man!











Just wanted to edit this to add what a lovely supportive midwife Cathy was. It's a shame she couldn't stick around for the whole birth. She read my birth plan and although she did sometimes accidently slip and ask me what the "pains" were like - to me they weren't pain again, they were simply contractions, tightenings. Whenever a midwife came in, Cathy included, they kept saying how lovely and peaceful it was in my delivery room, and how they wanted to stay there lol! I had the lights dimmed and music playing.. I don't know what the vast majority of their hospital births are like, but I guess neither of those.

I think, despite the contractions feeling stronger than with Robert's labour, I definitely felt more in control and that might have been what made the difference. I knew what I wanted, what was important to me, what I would be willing to let go, and from past experience, how to position myself. As I was lying on the bed and feeling the urge to push (again, from having read my birth plan, my midwife did not ask to examine me to check I was "ok" to push, as I specifically wrote that I wanted to use my body as a guide during labour), I very calmly thought to myself "now's the time to move, so I stated clearly I wanted to get into the delivering position, feeling very in control, and I think despite the speed in which he descended, I did still feel in control, I was thinking to myself part way through that I was getting tired, and was tempted to stop, but as my contraction was still going, I made the conscious decision to keep bearing down as hard as I could!

How strange though, that I have now forgotten the sensation, I remember recollecting shortly after, wondering how I gave birth to Robert. Which makes me think that pushing Christopher out must have been tough, but overall it was such a positive birth experience, and even with it being induced, I was fully able to cope without pain relief (for the actual labour). This even without Hypnobirthing fresh in my mind, just from re-visiting the book, listening to the CDs and practicing breathing techniques again.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Our little Squidge has arrived

As most of you know, our little Squidge arrived at 9.08pm yesterday (25th September) weighing an absolutely diddy 7lb 9oz! Little Christopher Jon is absolutely perfect and has been breastfeeding for every feed. Due to my diabetes they are checking his blood sugar levels pre feeds, and so far they have not been satisfactory, due to him being quite sleepy and not actually crying for milk yet! It has been an effort to keep him awake and for him to actually have a good long feed, although he did manage it for his last feed, where he fed well for over an hour! So fingers crossed for his next BM.

On the matter of the birth, in a nutshell I had given birth vaginally within 12 hours of being given my first and only pessary! I did also need to have my waters broken, during this process I used gas and air but other than that I didn't use any pain relief despite the contractions being a lot more intense and uncomfortable much earlier on than with Robert's labour.

All in all, my birth experience was very much a positive one, although, maybe due to the speed in which the 2nd phase progressed, I have no idea how on earth I managed to get a 10lb baby out! There was also a time I panicked because Jonathan had asked me when I last felt Squidge move and then realised I couldn't remember, so I really panicked until I was monitored. I had the worst case scenario of Squidge already being dead and there being nothing we could do... but luckily of course Squidge was alright!

I am waiting for him to wake for his feed and he either just pooed or farted, so I might change him and see if he wakes. Hopefully I can update this tomorrow from home, but I'll keep you informed! I can't wait to write his birth story!

Thursday, 23 September 2010

38 weeks pregnant - niggles and belly pic

Well 38 weeks pregnant today, 2 days until D-Day. The last two evenings I've had niggles which feel promising but I've been trying not to get too excited. The best I am hoping for at the moment is that these niggles mean things are getting things ready, and that it means that when I am induced on Saturday things will be fairly speedy... I have been getting some looser BM (and some normal ones too), been getting some achiness in my lower back, off to one side mainly but sometimes all the way across (which I never had with R), and also some mild achiness/pain in my lower bump, and also some much stronger braxton hicks than I have been having all the way through my pregnancy, ones which are also lasting longer than normal. It's strange how little I remember from my pregnancy with Robert. But reading back on his last few days in the womb, I am now pretty certain that even if things are on their way they probably won't have time now to kickstart themselves now before the induction. I do hope though that things get going quickly and without needing the drip. Fingers crossed anyway!!

I took a belly picture today, to complete this pregnancy's gallery. I noticed before I took them that I by complete co-incidence had exactly the same top and trousers on that I had for my 36 week belly picture! So had to change the top ;)



Tomorrow is my last full definite day as a Mum of 1. There is a bit still to be done, but not a lot is actually URGENT. So hopefully... we'll be ok :)

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

37 weeks 6 days - 3 days til induction

Well 3 more days to go. The last two days I have been nesting like crazy, keeping on top of the washing up, doing loads of washing galore, changing the bedsheets, doing anything else that pops into my mind as urgent. Hospital bags still have finishing touches to add to them and last minute items. Still have to do Robert's weekend bag, and to clear out the cot which is loaded with "stuff" of various sorts.

I wrote up my birth plan, although it doesn't seem quite complete yet, it doesn't factor in as much "if things go wrong" stuff that I would like, it just doesn't feel quite finished, although it's probably fairly comprehensive.

Birth Plan

During labour:

I wish to be able to maintain ability to move around the room for as long as is possible, or to sit/stand/kneel beside the bed if I wish to.

As I practised Hypnobirthing with my first child, and have been revisiting it during my 2nd pregnancy, I would prefer that midwives and health practitioners refrain from the use of the word "pain" and "hurt", and if at all possible, I be assigned a midwife who is familiar with Hypnobirthing and natural birth. If I become too uncomfortable or have trouble dealing with the contractions I may wish to use gas and air but would prefer to do without any other medication, and gas and air only as a last resort.

I wish to be encouraged to go with my body and use that as a guide during my labour and delivery, and to be reminded to breathe downwards to my baby during delivery.

I wish to deliver the baby in as upright a position as possible, in whatever position I feel best at the time, be it standing, kneeling on the bed, supported squatting.

After the birth:

I wish for my husband Jonathan to announce the baby's gender.

I wish to have immediate skin to skin contact with the baby, and for any interventions that can wait (for example, weighing, administering Vit K, blood tests, clamping and cutting of the cord) to be postponed until after the baby's first breastfeed.

During this first skin to skin contact I would like baby to be placed on my chest, and for the baby to initiate the first breastfeed. I don't mind being given a messy baby, or the baby and I being covered by a towel/sheet if it is cold.

If any medical intervention is necessary, or if I end up having to give birth via emergency c-section, I would like my husband Jonathan to be able to be with the baby if for some reason the baby and I need to be separated, and would like to have the skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible. Under no circumstances is my baby to be fed formula milk without my permission, I have brought antenatally expressed colostrum for the baby in the unlikely event that I am unable to feed the baby straight away.


What do you think?

I was quite hopeful last night that things might be about to start on their own, having had some loose bowel movements and strong braxton hicks but have had neither really today at all. It's full moon tomorrow so hoping but not thinking it will happen before induction unfortunately. I think my ideal situation would be me going into labour naturally in the morning I get admitted for induction ;) So I don't have to worry about pessaries, ARM, drips etc. I'm feeling mostly positive about it all but there is still something niggling in the back of my mind that lightning will strike twice, but hoping beyond hope that it's just an irrational fear I have to let go of, and that positive thinking and visualisation will amount to a positive birth experience.

What probably also seems irrational is that since my friend Sarah (who by the way, gave birth last Friday morning to a beautiful little girl, Clodagh, weighing 9lb 12oz!) had a good birth experience and was able to leave hospital the very next morning, then it makes it more likely that I will have the opposite. How crazy is that?? Part of me in the back of my mind thinks that since she did, it'd just be sods law that I have another bad experience. When she told me she was having a girl, having had at that time a leaning towards girl, I had a little sinking feeling and a thought of "oh well that's that then, I'm going to end up with a boy"

Of course now I don't mind at all the gender of my baby I know that whatever I end up with I will fall headlong in love with my baby whether it has a willy or not! Haha! But crossed fingers and toes that things will work out ok, and I will get to let my baby have its breast crawl, and that I can bond with the baby straight away, would be much appreciated.

I will take a belly photo tomorrow, as it will be my last (boohoo!) and post it here. Belly photos up to 36 weeks are in the belly gallery (linked to the right) if you wanted a gander. :)