My baby is ONE!!!

Oh my goodness, I can't believe this time last year I was in hospital with my baby boy still in SCBU! My baby boy turned one year old on Monday (23rd November), and I can't believe how quick it's gone, and also how much he's grown and developed into his own little person!

My baby boy has gone from this...



to this!



He is a cheeky, gorgeous, and wonderful little boy I can't believe I get to call mine! And I can't imagine him not being mine now, either. I'm so glad he's in my life. I don't know what I would do if I had to go to work and leave my baby most of the day even a few days a week!

We had his birthday party on Sunday, and he had so much fun! I'm so pleased that so many people could come, and it was wonderful for me to see just how much he is loved and how much people care about him!

Here were some of the decorations :)







He enjoyed playing with Bethany as usual. At one point I saw him walking after her, she was crawling, sucking on her dummy, he spotted it and kept bending down to get it out of her mouth, only to have her crawling along again! So he kept stooping down, then having to get up and chase her again! Bethany's parents, Paul and Vikki, gave Robert some balloons with little lights in so they glowed, which Robert loved, and still does! He spent ages at the party grasping both balloons by the knot, and walking around with them! He seems to like the knots on balloons, sometimes sucking on them, I guess they must remind him of something... ;) In fact we had to take the balloons off him so we could get started on his presents! He seemed intent on clutching hold of them the whole time!





He had so many cards and presents, he is such a lucky boy :) He did get a bit fidgetty for his card and present opening, it took quite a while and in the end I did have to rush through them a bit!















The emotional bit for me was of course the cake, I sat with Robert on my lap and Jonathan brought in the cake, and I was unable to sing happy birthday to him, because I was on the verge of tears! The cake itself turned out better than I thought it might in the end! It was quite painstaking to get the icing on the 1 as it was runny icing that hardened in the fridge, and I didn't want the blue of the 1 to mix with the white on the base.











I got lots of lovely comments about the cake, and I think a few people wanted the recipe :) It was delicious, and it's the sort of cake where you just wanna make another one to scoff by yourself, it's so moreish! Robert enjoyed the cake too, infact, he ate all of Barbara's cake (I thought Barbara was helping him eat his own cake, but no, it was hers!!!)













Hehehe!

He had such a good time, walking around, stealing food off of people's plates!

On Monday, his actual birthday, we went down to the embankment and fed the swans and ducks (and seagulls) with the leftover sandwiches, as they had gone a bit crusty and hard having been out all day!

We took him in his new trike, although he seems to enjoy pushing it than being pushed in it ;)















I was absolutely knackered from all the preparation, and then the party itself!

My period was in full swing by the time we were sorting everything out the day before, and while I was shopping for the party with my father-in-law, it was at that horrid icky stage where it just ACHED so painfully down below, I would have normally been curled up in bed with a book and a hot water bottle instead of trudging around tesco!!!

I am a little sad that I was not pregnant by the time Robert was 1, although I guess whatever age Robert will be when he does finally get a little brother or sister will be a good one, I shall just have to wait and see what happens! I hope it's soon though, I'd rather keep their birthdays apart by at least a few weeks, so I hope I get pregnant this cycle or next! Jonathan and I were a little lazy last month, I guess we could have tried harder, so maybe this month if we're not so lazy we will be lucky. Or maybe that weirdness with my spotting etc was due to an early miscarriage?? No way to know of course, I never got a positive result back!

I hope you're all well anyway! Robert's had a chest infection, and other colds etc. He's had a runny nose for about a month now, to varying degrees, then his chest infection in the middle of it!

Thanks for reading! :)

Nope.... :(

Hi guys.. TMI in this one I'm afraid.

Thanks for your comments, unfortunately I don't think I'm pregnant :( Within a couple of hours (typically!!) of posting the entry, I went to the loo and wiped, and got quite a lot of (red) blood on the tissue. Not HUGE amounts but enough to me that signalled the extremely imminent arrival of Aunt Flo...

Since then I have had on the tissue when wiping: lots of brown coloured CM, a small amount of stringy brown CM, then a tissue with nothing, and today I've had more red. So while I was suddenly getting my hopes up with the brown CM I'm pretty sure that's it and AF is due to drop by any hour now in full force.

Strange though, it's been back and forth, so goodness knows what's gone on this time. I will definitely wait and see now, maybe by Monday hopefully she will have come along properly so I know for definite.

I think we should probably try harder next month, I did sort of lose momentum and interest, so I think next month it should be every other day, from period start til period end (or period week or two late). Like when Robert was conceived. I will be knackered no doubt, and sometimes it does feel like a bit of a chore, but Jonathan'll enjoy it at least!

Am I? Aren't I? When should I find out?

I can't describe it, but with each day that passes I feel like I am pregnant. I don't want to get my hopes up, I really don't. But I just can't shake the feeling.

I got some pink when I wiped last night. But I don't feel the beginnings of a period along with it. Or at least what I can remember...

Anyway I am thinking I should know either way within a few days, as that pink is either good news or bad. I had pink on the toilet tissue when I was a couple weeks pregnant with Robert, so who knows.

If we're talking about days since last period, it was yesterday that I tested faintly positive with Robert, and Friday when it was more noticeable. I am in two minds when to test. Do I test tomorrow morning? Or do I test Friday morning? If I test Friday morning and it's positive then I will be unable to keep it in to myself I think! I am going over to the in-laws on Friday, doing some shopping for the party, then will bake Robert's cake. We will be coming back that night so the cat's not alone too much, then on Saturday morning we'll head back there again to prepare the party food, sort out decorations and whatnot. Staying overnight Saturday ready for the party on Sunday. Soo... I am wondering whether to wait until Monday before testing, because if I find out I am pregnant before the party I might let slip? What do you think?

Anyway, I am thrilled with Robert's progress as of late. He is understanding more and more of what we say. He understands stand and sit, cat, ball, car, clap and splash, book, milk, balloon. And those are just off the top of my head! Whenever I ask him where the cat is, he goes over to the stairs and looks up them, as that's usually where he sees her sitting. (When he does see her he makes the most adorable little squeal of excitement!)

He is also managing to stack bricks quite well too. He has stacked towers of 4 bricks before now, and very occasionally 5 bricks. Which I believe is at least an 18 month average milestone :)

He has begun to hold remote controls to his ear like he's talking on the telephone which is ultra cute :)

He is such a lovely little boy, always coming up for hugs, although rarely gives kisses. He can keep himself entertained for a long time really, which is good, although he can still be a little clingy when he's not perfectly content when someone leaves the room.

He has the most gorgeous expressions and is so curious about everything. I can't believe how much he has changed and grown in just 1 year. I can't believe it has been 1 whole year (minus 5 days lol) that he has been here. And at the same time I can't believe it has ONLY been 1 year. My sister-in-law said to me shortly after he was born that it wouldn't be long before I couldn't remember life without him. Well it wasn't instant, it did take a good while, I remember sitting and semi-wishing I had my old baby-less life back where I could watch telly whenever I wanted, get up when I wanted, eat when I wanted, etc. But now I can hardly remember what it was like, and when I try and imagine it again I find myself glad that I have my baby and I wouldn't go back to my life before him for anything!

At the playground






Playing peekaboo behind the net curtain with his cousin Ewan


Playing with his new toybox


At the local country park and their new kiddie area




My little sleeping angel :)

my poor baby :(

I don't know what's wrong with him... but in the last week and a half I can't remember how many times he's been sick. Last night we went out with him to a restaurant with some of Jonathan's colleagues too, anyway, he threw up not only his entire dinner, but lunch as well :( (He didn't have grapes at all during dinner)

He has a really nasty cough which he's had for just under a week now, and we're not sure if that's what's actually making him sick sometimes (the act of coughing so violently making him sick). He seems happy enough when he's not vomitting, and he doesn't feel overly hot like he has a temperature.

Today Jonathan and I are going to try and give him double the amount of mealtimes, but with half the food, to see if that helps, incase it's the amount of food he is eating in a sitting. If that doesn't work, we will try cutting down his meals altogether, and letting him breastfeed more often during the day for his nutrition.

Then see how he is next week. It's so tough seeing your babies poorly :( Especially when you're not really sure what's wrong, or even if there's anything wrong and it might be something you're doing (like feeding them too much in one go!!!)

I was quite proud of myself though, I didn't gag once as I was holding out a napkin to capture the sick in my hand, whereas the time he was sick on the bed I did nearly throw up myself as well!

Anyway.... Assuming that my cycles have instantly gone back to how they were pre-Robert, I am now overdue for my period. But it is hard to tell. I had a negative test yesterday morning, but then again I had to wait 35 days past my last period before I got a positive result and even then it was verrrrrry faint! So I might have to wait until next Friday before I get an accurate response on a test, if my period hasn't shown up in the meantime!

I'm not really sure what's going on this month. I can't feel anything either way, I don't have any feeling whether I'm pregnant or not. It's a horrid waiting game! But ah well I will just have to sit it out!!!

Time to test soon or period due

So assuming that my cycle is still 28 days I should be due on my period tomorrow I think. I've been getting a few aches, diarrhoea yesterday. Today I've been really windy and bubbly down there, and I think I've needed to wee slightly more than normal.

I really have NO idea what's going on, I'm just not sure either way if I am or not.

Robert has suffered a bit with a cold and stomach bug this past week or so. Now he has a nasty cough. Jonathan was wondering if it was croup because Ewan had it and we saw Stephen Nicky and Ewan at the weekend.

Anyway tomorrow is Robert's 1 year checkup at hospital. We might head out shopping afterwards as well, we shall see.

Anyway just thought I should touch base, especially with these weird bubbly feelings and to just let you know that I don't know for sure if I am pregnant or not.

Hope all is well!

Robert's sleep

I cannot BELIEVE how good Robert's sleep is now!!! It went from every few hours waking for milk at 8 months old or so, to waking a couple times and needing resettling, to waking after 10 hours solid sleep giving us an early morning wake-up call and then him refusing to sleep, to going to bed between 7 and 7.30. Waking up around 5am to 6am, then going back to sleep until 8am-8.30 and in one case this week 9am! I almost feel human again!

Anyway that's all I really felt like saying. There is a lot for us to do tonight as tomorrow we're going to Kent. Hope you are all well, thanks for reading x

Some video clips

I'm not sure I can do the whole charting thing, it seems like a bit of a chore and although I've found a thermometer I can't remember to use it!

Today though something strange is that I have an odd ache that doesn't feel at all familiar when I walk, cough. Sort of like my uterus is too heavy for my pelvis. Goodness knows if that means anything!

Anyway onto news of my nearly-one-year old! He has managed to get a sickness bug from somewhere... and I think I know where..... sigh. He's got an awful cold, and he's been sick twice with it as well.

Anyway I can't remember if I've told you that's he's learnt to clap, but he has and here's a little video clip...



One video that always makes me laugh is this one. He's blowing raspberries on my mum's arm then pulling away to grin at her.



Oh, another bit of news - I have given my baby boy his THIRD haircut this weekend just gone. I do wish I'd caved in and given him his first sooner than I did though!