I can't believe I now have a 2-year-old. Although he is only a couple of days older than he was before he was 2, just knowing that he's reached that milestone makes him seem older in my eyes somehow. He is so grown up, and I know I keep saying it lately, but him talking more and more, which somehow wonderfully co-inciding with his second birthday, makes him even more so!
Every single day lately I am marvelling at his speech, his confidence, and his joy that I am understanding more of what he is trying to get across. Even in these last few days some of his pronounciations have become clearer and more like the words they are meant to be. "Please" has, since he started saying it, been pronounced "izz" and usually repeated several times, so "izzzizzzizizz". Today, when he asked for milky, or tv, suffixed with "please" it has been "ease". He is now regularly joining several words together to say what he is thinking about, seeing, doing or wants. "Mama eat oooma" was one of the things I heard today, meaning "Mummy eat satsuma".
His new verbalising is providing me with lovely and amusing insights to his world, finally getting a clue what he is thinking about while he is playing with things. This morning, he was walking around upstairs with a dustpan he found, touching it to the floor several times, and saying "gig, gig, gig, gig" meaning "dig dig dig dig" so he was either using it like a spade, or pretending to be a digger!
I really would rather do a big birthday post once Jonathan has uploaded all the photos from Robert's birthday, but while we're on the subject of Robert's talking, I'll mention that he got several train birthday cards. Robert is VERY into trains right now, and I would have attempted a train cake had I been braver ;) One of the cards he got was a HUGE train card, which was the shape of a train, and while yesterday he was infinitely more interested in his presents, today, he enjoyed playing with his cards, especially this large train card. He was telling me regularly about his "igg ain gard" (big train card), and enjoyed driving it along the floor, bouncing it on his new trampoline, and opening it like a "gook" :)
It is all so sweet!
He is also so comfortable with Christopher, and has accepted him so thoroughly and wonderfully. He is such a lovely big brother! For the most part, Robert will play by himself and not notice Christopher or interact with him, but occasionally he will ask for him, and want to cuddle him, or show him a toy, or if he cries in his bouncer, Robert will go up to him and rock it, or start talking to him. Today I was holding Christopher on my knees while I was sat on the floor, and kissing his cheeks. Christopher was obviously hungry, as he latched himself onto my lower lip and began sucking away. Robert saw this, came up to me saying "Broo-ah iss" (Christopher kiss) gave me a kiss, and then gave Christopher a kiss, and then wanted Christopher to "kiss" me again!
I sat down to feed Christopher, and Robert clambered up next to me to nurse as well. I'm so pleased that he is still enjoying nursing, I think it has really helped him to bond with Christopher, and accept him, and I know there are a lot of people out there that think that nursing a child past the age of one is a selfish act on behalf of the mother (women force their toddlers into nursing afterall, way beyond the time a child actually wants to nurse.. *rolls eyes*), and in some respects there probably are selfish reasons for me continuing to nurse Robert. One being that it makes my life easier, with regards to settling Christopher into our family, the ease of not changing things. Another being that it will probably be helping my weight loss (1 stone down since Christopher's birth so far!). And probably the one most people think of that mums continue to breastfeed, I enjoy the closeness and the cuddles. Robert is now so independant, even if he hurts himself and needs comforting, he rarely actually gets comforted by cuddles. Sometimes the only way to calm him down is to distract him and get him playing again. Nursing is one time he willingly comes up to me, lays down with me, and we get that physical closeness and quiet time.
It's been 2 years today that I first breastfed Robert. I think in some way Robert's birthday will always be a little bittersweet for me because it will bring back memories of what happened, and remembering that I didn't actually hold him properly until he was over half a day old. It's one of those things that will be around forever, I just hope it won't taint the day for me. One day I will hopefully find peace in it all, that it was just the way my little boy was destined to come into the world, maybe to make us appreciate him all the more, to make us more thankful each day for him. The "what ifs" in the first day swallowed me up. Now, the what ifs make me feel worse when I actually think them, knowing who Robert has become, and what we would have missed out on. But at the same time so thankful that if that was the way things were meant to be, we were still meant to be his parents, meant to bring him up, and he is here with us, delighting us each day. Maybe the key to acceptance is just acknowledging that things happen the way they happen, everything is for a reason. Maybe Robert's birth happened that way to show us how strong he is, how special, and to help us appreciate him all the more. And to prove to us each year that his birthday is an amazing reason to celebrate, not to get swallowed up in the "what ifs".
Wednesday 24 November 2010
Sunday 21 November 2010
So excited!
My biggest boy turns TWO on Tuesday. I am so excited, but so sad that he is growing up so quickly. These past two years have been the best of my life, and also the hardest. I love everything about him, and what he has helped me to become.
Before I became a mother, I was selfish, I was lazy, I had no real purpose or drive. I'm still a little lazy, but I am a lot less selfish, and I have the best reason to get out of bed now in the world! I love my cheeky monkey so much, I find it hard to describe. He sometimes does things I don't like (what toddler doesn't?), and I sometimes find it frustrating or exasperating, but it doesn't make me love him less, in an odd way, when I think about it, it makes me love him more! Maybe not RIGHT at that moment in time, but overall, it does!
I think about him, and realise how lucky I am to be his Mummy. Not least because he is such a gentle, kind little boy, he takes things on board very quickly, and I think this can't be all parenting (I feel like it would be arrogant for me to assume responsibility for him generally being a charming little boy, I think he was just born this way, although hopefully Jonathan and I have nurtured it a little!), because sometimes it just seems like he "knows" what to do. Am I being lulled into a false sense of security? Have the terrible twos not set in properly yet? He certainly does paddy a bit when he doesn't get his own way, if he takes a toy from another child and we make him give it back for example. I guess though I just think of such behaviour as normal for a child of his age, and try not to make a big deal of it, or let it define him as the child who "always takes toys off other children", or get frustrated with him for doing so.
Anyway I've got side tracked a little.
His speech just goes from strength to strength lately. It's not uncommon to hear him say things like "Dada eed gook" (Daddy, read book), or "Gah-gee izz" (Milky please) or "More ick Mama" (more drink, Mummy). Yesterday we were driving past some large buildings, one of which had a taller section on one end, and from the back seat, we heard a gasp, then a little voice piping up "Oooooh! Gig bow-ah!" (Oooh, big tower!) He can tell us if something is red, blue, green, black, and occasionally yellow or pink. He's not so sure on orange or purple. He now requests songs and sings along with us! "dee-goh dee-goh eeee dar" being one of them - guess the song, you win a virtual pat on the back if you get it right! He joins in the actions to "wind a bobbin up" (so cute!) and the wheels on the bus, and likes making a diamond shape with his fingers during the whole of twinkle twinkle. Him learning to speak, and his rapid development is just astounding, and is one of the things that more than anything else, has made him seem to have grown up loads in such a short space of time. Because he was walking at 9 months, still a baby!! Walking didn't seem like such a big boy thing to do, but talking, wow, definitely seems like he's grown up so much now!
I can't wait for Tuesday, when he turns 2 properly, although we've had a small birthday celebration already today for him with my dad and step-mum, brother, sister-in-law and 3 year old nephew. I felt a tear prick the corner of my eye again as I took in his cake and sang happy birthday to him, which I was not expecting to happen! I can't wait til he sees his presents on Tuesday! We've bought him a trampoline (he's started BOUNCING on the bed and sofas!), a wooden garage for his matchbox cars, and some playdough cutters and a rolling pin.
How I love my BIG little man!
Before I became a mother, I was selfish, I was lazy, I had no real purpose or drive. I'm still a little lazy, but I am a lot less selfish, and I have the best reason to get out of bed now in the world! I love my cheeky monkey so much, I find it hard to describe. He sometimes does things I don't like (what toddler doesn't?), and I sometimes find it frustrating or exasperating, but it doesn't make me love him less, in an odd way, when I think about it, it makes me love him more! Maybe not RIGHT at that moment in time, but overall, it does!
I think about him, and realise how lucky I am to be his Mummy. Not least because he is such a gentle, kind little boy, he takes things on board very quickly, and I think this can't be all parenting (I feel like it would be arrogant for me to assume responsibility for him generally being a charming little boy, I think he was just born this way, although hopefully Jonathan and I have nurtured it a little!), because sometimes it just seems like he "knows" what to do. Am I being lulled into a false sense of security? Have the terrible twos not set in properly yet? He certainly does paddy a bit when he doesn't get his own way, if he takes a toy from another child and we make him give it back for example. I guess though I just think of such behaviour as normal for a child of his age, and try not to make a big deal of it, or let it define him as the child who "always takes toys off other children", or get frustrated with him for doing so.
Anyway I've got side tracked a little.
His speech just goes from strength to strength lately. It's not uncommon to hear him say things like "Dada eed gook" (Daddy, read book), or "Gah-gee izz" (Milky please) or "More ick Mama" (more drink, Mummy). Yesterday we were driving past some large buildings, one of which had a taller section on one end, and from the back seat, we heard a gasp, then a little voice piping up "Oooooh! Gig bow-ah!" (Oooh, big tower!) He can tell us if something is red, blue, green, black, and occasionally yellow or pink. He's not so sure on orange or purple. He now requests songs and sings along with us! "dee-goh dee-goh eeee dar" being one of them - guess the song, you win a virtual pat on the back if you get it right! He joins in the actions to "wind a bobbin up" (so cute!) and the wheels on the bus, and likes making a diamond shape with his fingers during the whole of twinkle twinkle. Him learning to speak, and his rapid development is just astounding, and is one of the things that more than anything else, has made him seem to have grown up loads in such a short space of time. Because he was walking at 9 months, still a baby!! Walking didn't seem like such a big boy thing to do, but talking, wow, definitely seems like he's grown up so much now!
I can't wait for Tuesday, when he turns 2 properly, although we've had a small birthday celebration already today for him with my dad and step-mum, brother, sister-in-law and 3 year old nephew. I felt a tear prick the corner of my eye again as I took in his cake and sang happy birthday to him, which I was not expecting to happen! I can't wait til he sees his presents on Tuesday! We've bought him a trampoline (he's started BOUNCING on the bed and sofas!), a wooden garage for his matchbox cars, and some playdough cutters and a rolling pin.
How I love my BIG little man!
Saturday 13 November 2010
Christopher is 7 weeks old!
Can you believe it? 7 weeks ago I was in hospital, having been induced, and waiting for things to kick in. It's amazing how fast time flies when you've got a newborn, compared to how slowly they drag in the last weeks of pregnancy. It's strange though, I look at Christopher, and drink in his expressions, typical newborn jerky movements, and find myself transported back almost 2 years to the last time I had a tiny baby. And marvel in how I am back there again, and yet, how long ago those 2 years seem. I find it hard to remember Robert as even a year old, and still very slightly doddery on those little legs of his.
His confidence in the last year in every respect has grown massively. He now climbs, jumps, runs around in circles with no fear whatsoever, which for the most part is ok but when he is running in circles very fast, having done so for 2 minutes already, and getting dizzier and dizzier and closer to that wall or table each time, gives me a heart attack!
His confidence and ability in speaking too has grown immensely in even the last WEEK! He now will copy words we tell him, especially when given a choice, to communicate his prefered activity. "Do you want to sleep, or play?" I asked him yesterday when he woke from his nap and he was still groggy and a little tearful. "Day." he said.
His words ARE still very babyish, in that most aren't prounounced correctly unless they begin with "d" "g" or "m". And even then not always ;) His new favourite activity is "dee-doh" (playdough), which he keeps trying to eat. "Erd eat dee-doh!" (Robert eat playdough)
He remembers an awful lot of words now as well which he comes out with spontaneously even long after we told him. He found a "gon-kah" under the table, and brandished it at me, which made me realise that I really SHOULD get around to finding all the conkers we collected a week or two after Christopher's birth and binning them!
And here he is examining the stalk on his apple "Dalk!"
He is just so adorable, and I feel sad and yet excited about his new leap in language development, as it's the end of another chapter in Robert's life, and the start of a new one, where he becomes even less of a baby and more of a little boy. But oh my goodness, how lovely that he is talking, and I can see that the more he learns to say, the less frustrated he becomes. And now is the time when I can really start putting the strategies in "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, Children Are From Heaven" to use. Although I will need to read it again, as I've forgotten some points!
As for the tiny boy, he was weighed on 3rd November (I don't think I remembered to say in the last post, how much he weighed. He weighed a stonking 10lb 5oz last Wednesday! Which saw him gain almost 3lb in 4 weeks, and shoot up from the 25th to the 50th centile! Absolutely thrilled with that weight gain, and so so thrilled that it's me that's growing him still! That's one of the best things about breastfeeding I think, when it goes well, is seeing them thrive on what me, his mother, is providing him.
This photo makes my heart melt. What is it about a baby's soft hair that turns me into a puddle of mush?
Last night he slept from about 9.15pm til 3.45am. Usually he seems to have an internal alarm clock which goes off around 2am for a feed, followed by one at 6am, but it was great he went so long, and hopefully we can push it forwards by an hour so he sleeps til 5am or nearer that! My feeds in the middle of the night are usually with very full breasts, and therefore the poor little fella, when he triggers a let down, pulls off spluttering of course, and in the middle of the night I don't worry so much about where the milk goes, it must just go everywhere, but I can't be bothered to worry! Even though it does mean that Christopher isn't as settled for feeds as Robert was, I am so grateful that I have such a good supply, as it means I don't worry about whether he's getting enough!
Something I intend to do this time round is treasure each and every moment with Christopher, not wish him onto the next new thing, because I know that before long it will be gone, and he'll be all grown up. It's taken me this long to realise I should treasure each moment with Robert, now he's starting to talk, he has truly become a little boy now and his babyhood seems to be an eon ago.
His confidence in the last year in every respect has grown massively. He now climbs, jumps, runs around in circles with no fear whatsoever, which for the most part is ok but when he is running in circles very fast, having done so for 2 minutes already, and getting dizzier and dizzier and closer to that wall or table each time, gives me a heart attack!
His confidence and ability in speaking too has grown immensely in even the last WEEK! He now will copy words we tell him, especially when given a choice, to communicate his prefered activity. "Do you want to sleep, or play?" I asked him yesterday when he woke from his nap and he was still groggy and a little tearful. "Day." he said.
His words ARE still very babyish, in that most aren't prounounced correctly unless they begin with "d" "g" or "m". And even then not always ;) His new favourite activity is "dee-doh" (playdough), which he keeps trying to eat. "Erd eat dee-doh!" (Robert eat playdough)
He remembers an awful lot of words now as well which he comes out with spontaneously even long after we told him. He found a "gon-kah" under the table, and brandished it at me, which made me realise that I really SHOULD get around to finding all the conkers we collected a week or two after Christopher's birth and binning them!
And here he is examining the stalk on his apple "Dalk!"
He is just so adorable, and I feel sad and yet excited about his new leap in language development, as it's the end of another chapter in Robert's life, and the start of a new one, where he becomes even less of a baby and more of a little boy. But oh my goodness, how lovely that he is talking, and I can see that the more he learns to say, the less frustrated he becomes. And now is the time when I can really start putting the strategies in "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, Children Are From Heaven" to use. Although I will need to read it again, as I've forgotten some points!
As for the tiny boy, he was weighed on 3rd November (I don't think I remembered to say in the last post, how much he weighed. He weighed a stonking 10lb 5oz last Wednesday! Which saw him gain almost 3lb in 4 weeks, and shoot up from the 25th to the 50th centile! Absolutely thrilled with that weight gain, and so so thrilled that it's me that's growing him still! That's one of the best things about breastfeeding I think, when it goes well, is seeing them thrive on what me, his mother, is providing him.
This photo makes my heart melt. What is it about a baby's soft hair that turns me into a puddle of mush?
Last night he slept from about 9.15pm til 3.45am. Usually he seems to have an internal alarm clock which goes off around 2am for a feed, followed by one at 6am, but it was great he went so long, and hopefully we can push it forwards by an hour so he sleeps til 5am or nearer that! My feeds in the middle of the night are usually with very full breasts, and therefore the poor little fella, when he triggers a let down, pulls off spluttering of course, and in the middle of the night I don't worry so much about where the milk goes, it must just go everywhere, but I can't be bothered to worry! Even though it does mean that Christopher isn't as settled for feeds as Robert was, I am so grateful that I have such a good supply, as it means I don't worry about whether he's getting enough!
Something I intend to do this time round is treasure each and every moment with Christopher, not wish him onto the next new thing, because I know that before long it will be gone, and he'll be all grown up. It's taken me this long to realise I should treasure each moment with Robert, now he's starting to talk, he has truly become a little boy now and his babyhood seems to be an eon ago.
Friday 5 November 2010
Robert's 2 year checkup.
Well, both doctors we've seen with Robert since his birth was in... and by some fluke, we got to see the woman doctor who we can actually understand! Woop! She hadn't seen him since he was 6 months old, and she noticed the "new addition" and said "I hope he had a better entrance than Robert?" or words to that effect lol. She asked if we had any concerns, and we mentioned his pronounciation on words, and mentioned that the other doctor kept thinking his hearing was impared and his speech was abnormally slow, anyway, she was very pleased with Robert, and could tell he had progressed since he was last seen, and was confident he would continue to do so (as are we, I might add), and following observing him with the toys they keep in the room for the children to play with she said he was doing everything she would expect a 2 year old to be doing, and that even though his speech isn't as good as some 2 year olds', he is in the normal range! (Which I know many of you have already told me, but why didn't that other doctor?? Grrr!) And she said what I have thought as well, that with his pronounciation, that will gradually get better with correct modelling. Anyway, she's discharged him, so we don't need to do hearing tests, or speech therapy, or anything, but she said to keep an eye on him and see how he is in a year's time, and if we still have concerns, to speak to the health visitor who can make a referral. But if he does continue to progress as he does it shouldn't be a problem. :)
Robert loves his baby brother so much. He constantly wants to cuddle him, and gets very annoyed with us if we tell him no (for example if he's sleeping and we don't want to disturb him). He loves cuddling Christopher (who he calls "Brooo-ah" - I'm thinking this is his word for brother, either that or Christopher. I can't be sure, I know it sounds more like brother, but then some of the words he uses sound nothing like what they should be if you know what I mean!
Christopher is now 6 weeks old (well, as of tomorrow) and he has been smiling for a few weeks now. They are quite few and far between at the moment, but boy, do they melt my heart when he graces us with one :)
Soooo so cute and precious! He is just so edible and smells divine! And it's strange, but he and Robert (as a newborn) look so alike that I think a bit of me cannot in my mind distinguish between the two of them. Sometimes I look at him and in my head, without realising, call him Robert, and then in a way I sort of double take when I look up and see almost-2-year-old Robert standing there or sitting and playing. Other times I look at him and see the things that make Christopher.. well, Christopher! The shadow of the ridge on his nose which was so pronounced at birth which Robert never had, the fuzzy bit at the front of his head where his hair should be but it's either come away, or was never there in the first place. The shape of the eyes which are so subtley different from Robert's.
I can't believe that it's been 6 weeks since I gave birth. It really has gone in a flash. I am so thrilled at how well I laboured and gave birth this time, and how well breastfeeding has gone. With all the struggles of the early weeks with Robert, the sheer determination that I WOULD breastfeed or die trying being the only thing keeping me going past 2-3 weeks.. the comparison is very stark. The only issues with breastfeeding so far have been the cluster feeds and growth spurts being SO. TIRING. But boy, never once have I resented picking him up and offering him my breast, as I did with Robert in the early weeks. And that difference has made everything so much easier.
Christopher is gaining weight much quicker than Robert did, partly due I think to tandem feeding, which has increased my supply greatly. Christopher gulps away, and something which I never imagined would happen to me (especially since my supply with Robert was simply "adequate"), splutters and coughs and comes off the breast gasping with his eyes wide in alarm as milk continues to gush. He has, also, a few times, cried with the alarm of getting too much milk. He has not yet grasped how to pause and not continue to suck while the milk is letting down! I have not pumped for a while. There are about 11oz of milk in the freezer, but unlike with Robert, I am not desperate to get Christopher onto bottles. I might well give him some, just for the sake of getting him used to bottles incase the need arises. (Like, for example, when Harry Potter 7 part 1 comes out later this month and we leave the boys with the in-laws to go see it!)
Anyway... wanted to mainly update on Robert's 2 year review. He's now on the 98th centile for weight (woahhh!!!??) but only the 75th for height. Strange, because he's not a chunky boy if you know what I mean! But it certainly shows he's got a good appetite lol! Can't believe my big little boy is going to be 2 so soon! He's getting all grown up! Good thing I have another tiny baby to snuggle!
Robert loves his baby brother so much. He constantly wants to cuddle him, and gets very annoyed with us if we tell him no (for example if he's sleeping and we don't want to disturb him). He loves cuddling Christopher (who he calls "Brooo-ah" - I'm thinking this is his word for brother, either that or Christopher. I can't be sure, I know it sounds more like brother, but then some of the words he uses sound nothing like what they should be if you know what I mean!
Christopher is now 6 weeks old (well, as of tomorrow) and he has been smiling for a few weeks now. They are quite few and far between at the moment, but boy, do they melt my heart when he graces us with one :)
Soooo so cute and precious! He is just so edible and smells divine! And it's strange, but he and Robert (as a newborn) look so alike that I think a bit of me cannot in my mind distinguish between the two of them. Sometimes I look at him and in my head, without realising, call him Robert, and then in a way I sort of double take when I look up and see almost-2-year-old Robert standing there or sitting and playing. Other times I look at him and see the things that make Christopher.. well, Christopher! The shadow of the ridge on his nose which was so pronounced at birth which Robert never had, the fuzzy bit at the front of his head where his hair should be but it's either come away, or was never there in the first place. The shape of the eyes which are so subtley different from Robert's.
I can't believe that it's been 6 weeks since I gave birth. It really has gone in a flash. I am so thrilled at how well I laboured and gave birth this time, and how well breastfeeding has gone. With all the struggles of the early weeks with Robert, the sheer determination that I WOULD breastfeed or die trying being the only thing keeping me going past 2-3 weeks.. the comparison is very stark. The only issues with breastfeeding so far have been the cluster feeds and growth spurts being SO. TIRING. But boy, never once have I resented picking him up and offering him my breast, as I did with Robert in the early weeks. And that difference has made everything so much easier.
Christopher is gaining weight much quicker than Robert did, partly due I think to tandem feeding, which has increased my supply greatly. Christopher gulps away, and something which I never imagined would happen to me (especially since my supply with Robert was simply "adequate"), splutters and coughs and comes off the breast gasping with his eyes wide in alarm as milk continues to gush. He has, also, a few times, cried with the alarm of getting too much milk. He has not yet grasped how to pause and not continue to suck while the milk is letting down! I have not pumped for a while. There are about 11oz of milk in the freezer, but unlike with Robert, I am not desperate to get Christopher onto bottles. I might well give him some, just for the sake of getting him used to bottles incase the need arises. (Like, for example, when Harry Potter 7 part 1 comes out later this month and we leave the boys with the in-laws to go see it!)
Anyway... wanted to mainly update on Robert's 2 year review. He's now on the 98th centile for weight (woahhh!!!??) but only the 75th for height. Strange, because he's not a chunky boy if you know what I mean! But it certainly shows he's got a good appetite lol! Can't believe my big little boy is going to be 2 so soon! He's getting all grown up! Good thing I have another tiny baby to snuggle!
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