12 weeks 6 days - 2nd trimester!

Wow, it's been ages since I last posted! I get so caught up day by day it's crazy. Each day is now it's own little routine broken up by mealtimes. Although I still don't follow the routine I set out a little while ago properly. I've not exercised for over a week now. I don't really go out for walks very often, usually only at weekends. But I get to see Sarah every week which is great. And I do spend more time with Robert.

I am SO thankful for my friendship with Sarah. I cannot get over how alike we are in so many ways, and amazed at how well we gel. We could literally spend hours with each other talking about anything and everything, and we text each other every day! And it's sooo great that we are going through pregnancy together too. She is now feeling "Boo" kick, and I so can't wait for that part too! I felt Robert kick at 15 weeks, and I'm now nearly 13. I might feel it sooner this time, but I do hope to feel it at 15 weeks by the latest. So only 2 weeks to wait before I feel Squidge kick! Fingers crossed! A few days ago I was sitting still, concentrating on feeling what was going on, and I thought I felt a few little bubbles, and got all excited, but then a few seconds later I farted LOL. So obviously just wind bubbling down through my intestines lol.

I had a lovely day yesterday. I woke up feeling quite tired, well very tired actually. Jonathan came to bed the night before and we had some couple time, which was nice, but unfortunately it woke me up fully and then he fell asleep and started snoring and wheezing away so I couldn't fall asleep! Argh! So I was knackered come morning time. I asked Jonathan if he'd mind taking Robert to his parents to give me a lie in and so I could get things done, and he did. I had a dressing gown on and got Robert dressed, went downstairs to get his jacket on, then Jonathan asked Robert to give me a kiss, and up toddles Robert to me eagerly, gives me a kiss, and then he walks out after Jonathan. It just felt so weird but nice, seeing Robert walk off like that, like he was growing up so fast. The surge of love I got at that moment was indescribable.

I went back to bed, and had an extra hour and a half sleep. It was lovely! Then I got up and was about to get dressed when I thought I should probably have a shower as I had a morning to myself, I prefer to shower in the mornings as my hair can dry better rather than being all scrunched up on the pillow at night. I had washed myself, shaved, and lathered up my hair, then I started rinsing it out when I suddenly came over feeling sick and had to go down on all fours in the shower to ease the feeling. I wretched a couple of times but I wasn't sick. I managed to just about finish rinsing my hair (had to leave the conditioner) and I got out, hurriedly dried myself and put on a dressing gown, and wrapped up my hair, went downstairs and got breakfast. I should really have got breakfast before my shower, as it was already gone 10.30. But luckily it was all ok.

Watched some Stargate Atlantis leisurely while eating breakfast, and then got dressed. Played a bit of computer game, and then I started to get things done around the house so I caught up with washing up (there was a huge pile from Sunday where we had the in-laws over for Sunday lunch), and I also changed the bedsheets (looooooong overdue) and sorted out the rubbish bins. Jonathan's parents came over 15 minutes earlier than normal for a Tuesday (they had a tired boy to deal with!) and as soon as he got back I put him up in his cot, where he was laying for quite a long time moaning, then some louder cries, then soft moaning again before he finally fell asleep. FIL and I went out shopping, and when we got back, Robert was still asleep! I enjoyed the roast so much on Sunday I bought two more lamb joints as they were half price in tesco. Shame I didn't see the offer last week! I spent £11 on half a leg of lamb then, and yesterday I spent £7.50 on a WHOLE leg of lamb!

Squidge is definitely wanting meat lately. I just soooooo want to roast a leg of lamb today just so I can pick at lamb all day! Just lamb on its own! Yum! And I still have 2 packs of bacon in the fridge, got lots of ham, and in fact I'm thinking about sausage and mash tonight!

Something else I really want to get done is my belly gallery. I took a photo early in pregnancy but it was a different place to the last belly gallery as the lense on Jonathan's new camera wouldn't take photos that close up, so I'm tempted to use the same camera I used for the last one, in the same place. I didn't really see any difference until 18+ weeks anyway so if I take my first proper one tomorrow that should be ok. If I get a third pregnancy I will be taking them more regularly as I WILL be at a healthy weight range by then and I should hopefully be showing more early! :)

Anyway, I've got a few photos for you of my little gorgeous man.

I absolutely adore this photo of Robert. His eyes look so soulful!



I used it in a graphic I did, brightened it up, smoothed it out, and brought out the colours in his eyes and made all but his eyes black and white, and I looooove it!



I just love him so much!

But since that photo was taken, I have given him his FOURTH haircut! At 16 months old, that's roughly one every 4 months!! lol! I'm pleased with this last haircut, it looks good and I think I must be getting used to it hehe! I will show you another time once my darling husband gets around to downloading them from the camera, editting them to make them brighter and then uploading them. The hair on top is slightly longer than the sides and back :D Although he has this weird thing on his scalp which makes his hair lie funny, so even though I cut all the hair ontop of his head to the same length, there is always a bit off to one side that looks like it's longer than the other side!!! Oh I love him so much. I find it so hard to believe that anyone else can get the same amount of love as what I give him but I guess that Squidge will.. it just seems so weird because Robert is already here!

11 weeks 6 days - grandparents

All the grandparents know, and all the aunts and uncles know! Got a mixture of surprised reactions and "ah we kind of guessed" reactions. My dad's was by far the most surprised. He opened up the framed picture, looked at it, blinked a few times as if he was taking it in and processing it lol, and then his jaw dropped, he blinked again, and said "shit shit shit shit shit!" hahaha! When he composed himself he turned around and congratulated us, and again, as with Robert, told Jonathan "well done" lmao.

We had a lovely weekend in all, although when we got home from Kent on Sunday evening we had a rather sombre telephone message from my Mum... she had had problems with a virus while we were there and she had been scanning her PC over and over trying to clean it out and each time it kept finding more infected files. Anyway the message basically said that the virus had made her bank website go to a different site when she opened it up, and she said without thinking even though she thought it was strange she put in her password when it asked (although banks usually only ask for 3 random characters nowadays, this one asked for her whole password), and she found out on Sunday evening that her bank account had been cleared out of almost £2000... Just goes to show how vigilant you must be, especially when it comes to online banking, but also with downloading things you've got to be so careful of the source, I do wonder exactly how much junk she managed to download with her online games and internet toolbars etc. I hope she's more careful when downloading things, she was in such a state, understandably :(

Anyway. I'm still feeling fairly well with this pregnancy. I think I must be one of the lucky ones, that my sickness is barely anything to write home about, and I really think that one day must have been a bug, or at least the "peak" of my morning sickness as that's the only day I've had anywhere near that bad!

I look at fetal development sites regularly, but what is annoying is that they conflict so much. One says that at 12 weeks the baby is about 5cm long, and another says it's 8cm long.

If the sonographer at the scan can date the pregnancy from how long the fetus is, then surely the figures should be universal?! It is somewhat confusing, but so exciting knowing roughly how big the baby is. I hold up my fingers to roughly the length it says and just think "wow, my baby is that big already!"

Jonathan has jokingly wanted to call the baby Sausage 2 (sigh) or Cletus before we know the sex and come up with names (still no names decided for baby - Jonathan is being particularly slow and just not looking at any, and since he doesn't like any of mine it's up to him to pull his finger out of his arse!!), both of which.. no thank you lol! Sausage 2 just sounds stupid. Cletus (the fetus) sounds silly too. But as I was brushing my teeth last night I was thinking about Robert and how gorgeous he'd been that day, and how I just loved to squidge him.. and I thought "hmmmm Squidge" and I dunno, I like it :) My little Squidge! When it's born, I can give my little Squidge a big squidge! lol!

11 weeks 1 day - graphic for grandparents!

I did one for both sets, my dad's one is below, my mum's one says "Nanna and Grandad" but are identical otherwise.



They are printed and framed and waiting to be wrapped. Today we are going to possibly go to playgroup, then we are packing for the weekend. I'm so excited to see their faces when they open their presents! :)

That's about it right now :) Thank you for your comments on the picture! I now have 5 long weeks to wait til I see the midwife. Argh! I need to get a new maternity exemption form as well as the one I have (and haven;t posted off yet) says 30th September. I'm guessing I'm not allowed to write over the date and change it before I send it off? lol.

Or shall I just send off the one I have and grab a new one from the midwife at 16 weeks?

11 weeks (revised date) - scan!

Well everyone, I had my scan! All appears well with baby! I am 11 weeks pregnant she said, with a due date of 7th October, which is 1 day out from my estimated dates, so not bad! Comparing the scan with Robert's this little baby looks so much different! Amazing what 1 week can do!

Here is my little baby! :)



The other two pictures we got were awful quality, this one was the best! Can you girls see a nub??!! I can! I think! But can't really tell what it is, the line of the spine is a little difficult to distinguish as it's curved, it's on the border either way I think! Poot, will have to wait until 28th May! (my next scan date, which is 10 weeks away!) I would love a 4d scan this time, will have to persuade Jonathan I think. But maybe I can ask for one for my birthday as I'll be about 28 weeks then, so perfect timing ;)

Going to make a little image to frame for my parents now :) With new baby scan picture in it. :) Will probably edit this post or maybe add a new one, we'll see!

Thanks for your lovely comments girls :) Will definitely update after the weekend if not before!

10 weeks 6 days - excited

I am excited about the scan, yes, but I also can't wait to tell my parents. My mum, who knows we were TTC, might not be surprised, but I know she will be thrilled. And my dad... well he knows nothing, and I'm so excited to see what he says! Hehe! I know he'll look forward to seeing Robert, but he doesn't know he's going to get a massive surprise too! lol!

2 days and 2 hours to go! Very very exciting. Can't wait to see my little baby bean, I hope s/he is alright in there. :)

10 weeks 5 days - amazed

I am amazed that I am now less than 3 days away from seeing my baby for the first time. I have a busy week ahead, made sure I have had something planned each day and that is really helping I think! I went to a group this morning, was going to try and go to one this afternoon but somebody refused to go to sleep until 1.30pm, and stayed playing in his cot for about 45 minutes before he finally dropped off to sleep, so he didn't wake until 2.40pm. (group was until 3pm so not worth going as I would have got him ready and been down there and had about 10 minutes if that before we'd have to come back!)

Tomorrow I go grocery shopping with the in-laws. Who now know! It feels odd! I think because I already have a baby, and when they are here their attention is on him, so this new little baby doesn't get mentioned much! Maybe it will once I start showing lots!

Wednesday I am seeing Sarah in the afternoon. And then Thursday is the BIG DAY! I am a little nervous, but mainly excited. I think because my symptoms aren't really becoming less, what little symptoms I have are still around which are mainly tiredness and peeing! I peed TWICE in the middle of the night last night!

I occasionally expect to go to the loo and find blood... I don't know why... I sometimes feel damp, and think "uh oh I'd better check" but no, it's just that lovely increased CM in pregnancy. Which is good though! I've not had any bleeding since the morning of my midwife appointment which is almost 3 weeks away now. And that was only a little amount as per all the other times. I can't believe how much more spotting I've had this time round than with Robert. With him it was ONE small brown stained CM blob. (sorry lol). This time I've had quite frequent small wipes of red blood. About once every 2 days for the first 3 weeks since I found out, then it gradually has tapered off. Before the morning of the MW appointment it was 2 weeks since the last, so nearly 3 weeks and counting is good.

I can't believe it's nearly here! I wish in a way it was a 12 week scan and that I hadn't fibbed with my dates, but I only fibbed because I thought they were going to give scans at 14 weeks lately rather than 12 weeks lol! But it is nice having an early scan. Some people have told me I might have another if I'm under 12 weeks (which I will be!) but I'm not holding my breath for that. We shall see.

Anyway... in two days and 19 hours (roughly) I will be on that bench/couch thing with a scanner stuck in my belly! Wooop! :)

Bedtime Smiles

I had a fairly stressful afternoon with Robert. I tried to put him down for a nap fairly early, and for an entire hour he screamed before I gave up and decided to let him play some more. Two hours later, I tried again, and luckily he did fall asleep that time. But only for an hour, usually he sleeps for 2 hours now for his nap.

After his nap he was very um... what's the word... not really sure, fretful maybe. He screamed when I went to the toilet, and he screamed for no other reason really another time. I must have listened to him screaming for about 2 hours today. Maybe just under, but it wasn't nice, especially as some of the time I wasn't even sure why.

I did no exercise today, I didn't do the washing up (first day in AGES I've not), but I did do quite a lot of one to one full attention playing with Robert, including playdough!

I made myself some hot chocolate, but I really didn't like it, for some reason. It just didn't taste right, or feel right, or something. I was hoping that it would calm me down and make me feel better but it just made me feel "blahhh". So I had a bacon sandwich as well, and made one for Robert's tea too. And that made me feel better :)

I made sure to get Robert down by 7pm today, I wanted him to have a nice early night so I could have some time to myself and unwind. I went and poured his bath, and got his night clothes ready. Gave him his bath, and he didn't want to stay in there too long, I think his fresh nappy rash was bothering him. Got him ready in his clothes, he was so calm while I was getting him dressed which was unusual but lovely! Then read him Elmer and the Rainbow, he pointed out all the animals but Tiger and Lion when I asked. So clever! :)

Then milky, and after a while it seemed like he wasn't drinking much anymore so I said "ok Robert, it's bedtime now" and immediately he let go of my nipple, and smiled as I lifted him up. I carried him into his bedroom as usual, with him horizontal in my arms, and as I stood by his cot I looked into his eyes, and said to him "It's time for sleep now, goodnight Robert" gave him a little kiss, and he looked back at me, and BEAMED! I told him I loved him, kissed him again, and laid him down in his cot. He laid there and smiled at me. I blew him a kiss, said Goodnight again, and that I loved him, and closed the door. And he fell asleep, no wriggles, no tears, no crying, nothing! He does usually give some protest to going to bed but tonight he didn't, and it was LOVELY. It really made all the stress of the afternoon worthwhile to see that smile like I was the most wonderful thing he could possibly see before he went to sleep. :)

10 weeks 1 day - bump?

Well I think my baby bump is appearing gradually - although it is of course not baby, as baby is soooo low down I keep pressing down there to see if I can feel my uterus but I am really not sure if I can find it! Sometimes I think I can feel it, other times I don't think I can. But anyway I think the baby growing is pushing up the fat and internal organs so it looks like I'm getting a bump. But then sometimes my bump disappears! It's very strange! I've taken a pic at 6 weeks, with Jonathan's camera which meant I needed to take it from furthur away, so it's a full body mirror pic. I guess that's how the others will be taken as well, unless I decide to use the same camera I did all of Robert's ones with, or get Jonathan to do my belly photos.

I am managing to do several items off my list each day, usually not the guarenteed 2 hours with Robert yet :( Or the daily walk. But I am doing exercise, and daily washing up. I think my tiredness is gradually waning, I haven't napped during the day for a few days now, and am managing ok, although I do still feel tired first thing. Especially when I'm up twice in the night to wee... fun fun!

9 weeks 5 days - told Jonathan's parents

Well, we decided to tell Jonathan's parents this weekend rather than next weekend, so we could give them a bit more notice for babysitting. I guess I'm not too brilliant at keeping the secret as I thought... MIL opened the card and said "Oh!" in a knowing way, and passed it to FIL who repeated her "Oh!" and then they proceeded to tell me they suspected due to my tiredness, suspicious doctor's appointment, smell aversions and my sickness on Tuesday (which I think must have actually been a bug as that's all it amounted to, plus I had the runs in the morning along with feeling sick). Doh! But they were very pleased, and like the midwife, the first question MIL asked was whether I was going to have another home birth! I really don't know just yet.

They're going to do their best to sort out something for Robert on that Thursday, he might have to be minded by someone else for an hour or so. But it's very exciting, only 10 days to go until my scan!

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going so far. The first trimester is the worst in many ways because you just don't know what's going on, or if all will be ok, and for that reason it can drag, but with Robert around, it's whizzing past, it really is! I am almost 10 weeks pregnant - a quarter of the way through my pregnancy! It feels like only a week ago I got my BFP. And I guess telling the in-laws this weekend just gone sort of makes it feel like it's the beginning again, we told them last time when I was only about 5 weeks gone, but I'm now almost 10 weeks. I can't wait for my scan! Unfortunately Sarah didn't get very good scan pictures, but I'm hoping that I will get good ones like I did with Robert, so I can nub spot! I couldn't even see a nub on Sarah's it was so blurry! :( But more than that I of course hope that baby is growing well, and is healthy and happy. My worst fear would be seeing a fetus that is only 7 or 8 weeks, because I know my baby should be 11 weeks by my scan. What's worse than a miscarriage is a missed miscarriage, where you're led to believe all is ok only to find out your baby has died, then having to have the baby removed... :( It's so so worrying, all I can do is have faith so I hate this part! And then of course it's 4-5 weeks before I get my next midwife appointment and hear the heartbeat! From 16 weeks it's ok as you hear the heartbeat, and by 15 weeks I was feeling movements. Roll on the next 6-7 weeks!

9 weeks 1 day - Routine

I really really want to get into a routine for the last few months before baby is here. (I know any routine we have will go out of the window then!!!) But I want this routine to include as little TV as possible, me spending at LEAST 2 hours playing 1-1 with Robert (I feel awful knowing that at the moment this is not happening!) where he has my full attention. I also want it to include washing up EVERY morning after breakfast, and later in the day, a load of washing or some other kind of housework. Oh, and some exercise, and in addition, a walk EVERY day outside, even if it's only for 10 minutes.

I've written up a rough plan, which I might tweak, and of course is flexible for naps etc.

Morning:

- Get up, change Robert's nappy, eat breakfast.
- Wash up after breakfast.
- Put a load of washing on if needed.
- Play with Robert for 45 minutes.
- Go out for a walk.
- hang up washing.

Lunchtime:

- Get lunch ready and eat.
- Settle Robert for his nap.
- 30 minutes exercise during his nap if not tired.
- Hang washing after he wakes if no time before lunch.
- Go to sure start if possible. (If not, maybe have a walk)
- Play with Robert for 45 minutes.
- Cook dinner.

After dinner:

- Play with Robert for 30 minutes.
- Run Robert's bath.
- Start Bedtime Routine.

I really want to get started on this tomorrow, I've not quite stuck to it today although I have done some of it. Jonathan suggested I get points if I stick to it and points earn me prizes from a prize list lol! We shall see!

Anyway, another thing I've done today is that I've been designing a Cbeebies birthday card for Robert. I wanted to do one for him last year, but never got around to even thinking about it til it was too late! I know it's 8 months til his birthday but this will give me time to think about what exactly I want to do, then make it, and hopefully give me several months to spare before October, when I (as well as giving birth LOL) add a recent photo to it (and add little sibling details!) and post it off. :)

Right! Well I'm thinking of going for a walk. One other thing I wanted to say was that we have decided that we need to tell Jonathan's parents about this pregnancy earlier than we wanted to :( We have decided there's really no other way to ask them to babysit than to tell them about it beforehand, as it's on a Thursday.. Thursday is the only day that is quite tricky for them, as my MIL has Country Market that day. I'm hoping it will be ok for FIL to look after him for the majority of the time. But anyway, we're going to tell them on Mother's day (14th March), by writing in a card for MIL and signing it from Robert and Baby Bump :) Hehe! And we are then seeing my parents the weekend after, in Kent. When I will have had my scan, and can therefore frame and present as planned :)

Anyway, I've got to go! *hugs* and *kisses* to you all! (if anyone's still there!! lol)

9 weeks pregnant (!) - FINALLY!

Good morning! I have woken up in a good mood today. I am feeling much better. :) Part of me is wondering was yesterday actually morning sickness or a bug??!! I had diarrhoea in the morning as well which is making me doubt if it was morning sickness. I don't know what could have given me a bug though. Maybe it was just something my pregnant body reacted strangely to that normally would have been fine.

Something else I am pleased about, is that I have my scan appointment through! I had just given up hope that it would arrive (it arrived about 10 minutes ago - quite late in the morning!!!) and that maybe it would arrive tomorrow, but nope it's here! It's on 18th March at 1.30pm. That's in just 2 weeks and 1 day! I will be 11 weeks and 1 day pregnant. It's a somewhat troublesome day.... Thursday, and in the afternoon, so I will have to discuss it with Jonathan and see if maybe we should try and get a different time/day. They don't allow children in with us, and Thursdays is a troublesome day to book the usual babysitters due to my mother-in-law having her country market that day. I'll have to talk to Jonathan about it and see what he thinks.

Wheeee I'm so excited! I'm pleased that things appear to be moving on nicely, and fairly trouble-free. I've not had any spotting for over a week now, I'm feeling better after yesterday, seeing Sarah today to awwww and oooh over her scan picture, and feeling a lot happier in general.

Although: This pregnancy is still... very surreal to me! I thought that having had Robert, and having gone through the whole test but not feeling much thing, that it would be easier for me to believe that there's a baby in there, but it's not! I'm so excited about seeing my little one though! I feel my tummy every day, down by my pelvic bone to see if I can feel my uterus protruding up there, sometimes I think I can, but sometimes I can't! It's very odd. Also, it feels very different pressing into my belly now, having had Robert and the fact there are stretchmarks it feels more bumpy!

I am watching Jonathan's screensaver as I type this, he has it set to all the photos we've taken of Robert, randomly, and a little while ago I saw a photo of Robert under 2 weeks old, having a bath with his cord stump still attached! I did awwww quite a lot!



:) I can't believe he was ever so tiny and helpless! How precious is this??!!



And this??



I can't believe in only 7 more months I will have one of these! I love my baby boy so much :) I can't believe how much he's grown!

8 weeks 6 days - oh no...

Arrival of morning sickness. This morning I felt... SICK. It even got to the point where I was wretching just from standing up, and running to the bathroom just incase. I've not been but I've gagged loads and Jonathan's even thought I might just throw up then and there because of it. I never had this with Robert, I just felt ever so slightly queasy first thing in the morning.

Today I asked Jonathan to go and make me a cup of tea because that helped my queasiness with Robert, but it didn't work straight away, in fact sitting up to drink it made it worse. But I'm feeling a little better now having drunk it all.

I even gagged while changing Robert's (wet) nappy. Just the smell of the urine was enough to make me gag.

As of writing, I've still not received my scan date. Although it might come with the post today. I will update if it does, but I'm not holding out a huge amount of hope. For now I'm just going to try and eat breakfast and hope I can keep it down.

Edit at 6.23pm:

I was sick just before midday. :( It's strange but even though the sicky feeling wasn't as bad as it was before, I just seemed to know I was going to actually be sick and ran to the loo. I felt better for about 10-15 minutes afterwards, so I did the washing up while Robert ate his lunch (I didn't eat anything) in the kitchen, but then afterwards I started feeling bad again :( I had a nap with Robert, and when we woke up, I felt really bad again. I've not been sick again though, but I've had 1 slice of dry toast and some drinks. I still feel sick/hungry but don't really feel like eating :( Oh. And I'm still waiting for my scan appointment. If it hasn't shown up by Thursday lunchtime I shall ring the midwife and see if she can chase it up. If it's her I chase it up with? Or should I find the number for the hospital scan department?